29.3.03
I have a headache right at the moment. Mainly because I've been sleeping all day because on thursday night I only got four hours sleep. I went to bed at around 10:30 and woke up at 2:30, spent two hours trying to get back to sleep but could't because I was thinking about too much. At aroud 4:30 I decided to see what was on t.v. On ch10 they had some stupid american church sermin where they were reading the bible, praying and preeching about the "Lord Jesus". On ch2 was news about the war. SBS I don't get so I have no idea and ch9 is really bad reception early in the morning. So I ended up watching some stupid american infomercial about some kind of vacuum ceiling thing that can keep food fresh for upto like 3 yrs in the freezer. Yuk! I ended up watching that for half an hour before resorting to watching sailor moon until six thirty when I went and watched the sun rise.

I have almost never been up to do that, unless I had some really big reason, like getting up to go somewhere or staying up all night. The last time I was up to do that was when my group and I went to see a movie marathon and we walked back to my house at like 5:30 in the morning and stopped in the park. That was fun.

So I guess the main reason I couldn't get back to sleep was because I had a really bad dream, almost a nightmare I guess. It's not something I think I wanna go back into, so I wont. The I couldn't stop thinking about thursday night. I'd been feeling really depressed, and it was yr7 all over again. I began taking my anger out on my family and doing a whole bunch of other stuff that let me say I haven't done since yr7 and had hoped to never do it again. My main cause of angst was because my friend and I had been pissing each other off for quite a while. I know why I was angry at her, and I guess I did have a reason, maybe not good enough. She was jealous of me and another friend. I wish she hadn't been because she was still a really good friend of mine. Then we started drifting apart and the slightest little things from her began to annoy me.

So I rang her up. It did in away make me feel better. LOL, Kee Sook has this all written in her online journal. I read it a little while ago, heh heh, it's a little bit more complicated then what she's written but I'm glad she didn't go into more detail. Anyway, I kinda started to cry on the phone, not because of her but because of what we were talking about. That then made me feel worse because I hate crying. There's only two reasons why I will willingly cry. I guess in away one of these reasons were bordered.

Anyway, I did have a good talk to her, and I'm hoping we dont get pissed off at each other again, at least not for a while. So then I was on the phone for about an hour with Pippy. I made her laugh, which made me a bit happier, considering the mood we were both in. I'm not going to go into detail about that though.

So, anyway, from that point on, my night just got worse. When I woke up, not only could I not get back to sleep, but I had fucking stomach cramps and a damn cat that wanted to go outside but couldn't jump off my top bunk, and wouldnt let me get her down. When I decided to have breakfast, I began to feel sick, so I was stuck either being hungry or feeling sick.

Anyway, enough about my bad night. I guess, even though I'm still feeling a bit depressed, I am happier that I got things sorted out with Kee Sook. And I love her heaps, just as I do all my other friends. Sanah, I guess is my closest friend, I don't really like using the term best friend because I've had a bad experience with someone who I thought was my best friend. But I guess she is, and if we ever stopped talking to each other, I think it would tear a piece away from me. But Kee Sook is a really good friend of mine, and so is Pippy, and I don't ever want to loose any of them.