27.3.03
So...another day passed. I guess not many people actually care what happened to me in my day. Well guess what, neither do I, so I'm not going to tell you what happened. What's the point.

I will tell you that I'm still in a bad mood from school and alot of people in it. I'm so sick of certain people telling me they're open minded but not listening to my view point on something. Or if they do, they don't really think about it, just shove it back down my throat and tell me I'm wrong. That's not what I would call open minded. If you don't want to hear my view, that's fine, but don't expect me to listen to yours and disregard my own.

And stop interupting me when I'm speaking then get angry at me when you ask me to repeat what I was saying. Because if you're not going to listen in the first place, I'm not going to repeat myself just for your benefit.

This is really starting to get to me. I'm feeling as though I'm fading into the background and falling back to what I was a few years ago. I'm taking things out on my family again, and I feel like I have no real friends, just as I did back then. I swore to myself I would never feel like that again, but I can't help it. I'm expected to ignore my problems and help everyone else with theirs, while trying to pass year 11 and do my jobs at home. Soon I'm going to have to give up my weekends just to help everyone else. And I'm so tired. I don't want to feel as if life is fucked up. Because I believe it's just my take on it that makes it shit. And I believe that if I think its good, it will be good. But I can't think that way at the moment. I'm too busy thinking about other shit that makes me feel like crap.

And I know what it is that's making me feel that way. And I want to do something about it, but I don't want the consequences that I know will follow, because they seem as if they would be worse. Maybe getting away from everything for a week will help me get my head around it, and I'll come back feeling refreshed and alive again. And I'm not trying to boast or anything. I'll be with people that I haven't seen in a while, mainly because my friends who I see alot aren't going to camp this year. So I'll have fun, because we're all away from parents and authority and its so laid back.