*Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
*Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
*Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
*Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
*Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.
*A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
*Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
*Meanness don't happen overnight.
*Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
*Don't sell your mule to buy a plough.
*Don't corner something meaner than you.
*It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
*You can't unsay a cruel thing.
*Every path has some puddles.
*When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
*The best sermons are lived, not preached.
*Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
*Don't judge people by their relatives.
*Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
*Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
*Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
*Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
*It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.
*The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
*If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
*It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
*The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
*If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
*Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
*Only cows know why they stampede.
*If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
*Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
*Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
*You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'til they get thumped.
*Never miss a good chance to shut up.
* Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
* Never miss a good chance to shut up.
* We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
* Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
* If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
* I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
* The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
* There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them are at the rodeo.
* What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
* Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
* An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
(Random Cowboy Quotes):
* Don't squat with your spurs on.
* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
* It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
* Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* Grass is for bulls, what do you ride?
* "A gun is a tool, Marion, no better or no worse than any other tool, an axe, a shovel or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that." -- Shane
* Talk slowly, think quickly.
* Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.
* Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.
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