I suspect that some of the problems, if not all, may be familiar to most Africans in the Diaspora. There are however differences of opinion as to why raising African children in the Diaspora (particularly the U.S) is a very daunting and challenging task. We can’t name all the factors, but one of the main reasons is the culture of the society, which gives enormous powers to the child. In traditional African societies parents have the power to straighten up or punish their children when they go astray. In the United States one often avoids that for fear of being branded a child molester.

Therefore, torn between two cultures, African parents in the Diaspora are in a dilemma as to where to raise their children. Those who have the infrastructure on the ground back home in Africa and the courage to do so, often send their children back to have the necessary experience of living in a traditional African society while completing their high school education. This gives the child the opportunity to know their uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, and grandparents, and to grow up in an environment where morality and good character education are relatively regarded. It is sometimes difficult for African children to acquire good western education and the right kind of socialisation in the Diaspora. This is because western education is devoid of such African cultural ethos as obedience and respect for the elders/higher authorities, caring for one’s parents in their old age and being community-orientated. Thus, the parents who have the opportunity and courage to send their children back home to Africa (in the care of their relatives) to get familiarised with African culture has many things to be thankful for. Some Africans in the Diaspora however feel that African parents in Diaspora who ‘ship’ their children home are ‘callous’ and ‘selfish’, forgetting that that there is no substitute for a good moral education anchored on good and progressive traditional African values. Common sense shows that if the culture and tradition of a people perishes, the group perishes also.

Culture is basically the way of life of a people. The New Lexicon Webster’s Dictionary of the English Language (1988/e) defines culture as "the social and religious structures and intellectual and artistic manifestations, etc that characterize a society." Every group of people has cultural values – the Dos and Don’ts that are better learned by living with, and observing the people of that particular society interacting with one other. Behaviours that are acceptable in one society could be an abomination in another. If one may ask, are the African children raised in traditional African societies better behaved than those raised in the Diaspora? The answer (s) to this question would vary from individual to individual, but the general consensus, if you will, is that because of environmental factors African children raised in the Diaspora often display behaviours that, under normal circumstances, would not be tolerated or accepted back home in Africa. Many African parents in the Diaspora are often worried about this because they want their children to acquire progressive traditional African cultural values.

The question therefore is how parents will achieve this objective in a society where the Courts and Family Counsellors (some of whom are not married) would dictate to them how to raise their children? In courts in the United States it is the child against their parents (or the wife against her husband). This gives the child unlimited powers and freedom, undermining parental control and guidance in the process. This is detrimental to family cohesion as well as to the mental growth and moral development of the child, and also makes parenting more challenging for African parents’ in the Diaspora. This type of intrusion into the affairs of the family is, in my opinion, antithetical to the tenets of democracy.

The founding fathers of American democracy asserted that moral education was essential for the success of a democratic society. Thus, for democracy to flourish in a society the people must possess the appropriate character to build a free and just society and the moral foundations to sustain and make democracy flower where it had not been cultivated. Thomas Jefferson in fact recommended that loyalty to these democratic virtues must be instilled in people at an early age. The Greek philosopher Aristotle had defined good character as the life of right conduct in relation to other persons and in relation to oneself (Palmer, 1986). Good character consists of knowing the good, desiring the good, and doing the good (habits of the mind, habits of the heart, and habits of action); respect for the rights of others, regard for the law of the land, voluntary participation in public life and concern for the common good. Convention dictates that these virtues are necessary for leading a moral life - for individuals and for the nation. Thus, any society in which the majority of its citizens constantly exhibit behaviours that antithetical to its fundamental values would be faced with constant moral crisis.

The absence of good moral education for African youth as leaders of tomorrow is one of the causes of the leadership problems in Africa. As William Kilpatrict noted in Why Johnny can’t Tell Right from Wrong (cited in Lickona 1991), "the core problem facing our schools [and our homes] is a moral one. All the other problems derive from it." These virtues could help the child to think and behave appropriately. As William Bennett noted in The Book of Virtues ‘a person who is morally literate will [ceteris paribus] be immeasurably better equipped than a morally illiterate person to reach a reasoned and ethically defensible position on tough issues.’

Historically three social institutions share the work of moral education in a society: the home, the church, and the school. The influence of western culture on these institutions and on African homes in the Diaspora is myriad: divorce is rampant and single-parent African homes are springing up; and some African couples are just hanging on together without commitment and love for each other. This condition, which is not conducive for properly raising children, is causing an upsurge in the number of dysfunctional African children in the Diaspora. Consequently some of African children in the Diaspora have joined gangs; some do drugs, or get involved in stealing and killing. Other worsening self-destructive behaviours among African children in the Diaspora includes sexual precocity, rising teenage pregnancy, prostitution, cutting classes or dropping out of school. The environment has also affected the schools because schoolteachers have no powers to discipline students and make them to do their class work. In some cases, the teacher ends up as an onlooker in the classroom, filling up forms and documenting students’ misbehaviours, instead of teaching. Inn a traditional African school system, teachers have the authority to discipline and correct students’ when they misbehave. In the Diaspora, the rampant cases of child molestation by church leaders have tended to undermine the moral authority of the church and church leaders.

Theodore Roosevelt was credited to have said that ‘to educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace in society.’ Through discipline and teacher’s good example and school curriculum, schools should instruct children on the virtues of patriotism, hard work, honesty, altruism, and courage. Due to circumstances beyond their control (some are already mentioned above) many African families in the Diaspora are incapable of giving their children the necessary moral education at home but convention dictates that the family is the primary moral educator of the child and their most enduring influence. As Lickona (1991) has rightly noted, how well parents teach their children to respect their authorities would lay the foundation for their future moral growth. Therefore, when these institutions unable to play their traditional roles well, forces hostile to good character rush in to fill the void.

Again, the question becomes how could parents perform their traditional functions at home when their powers are diluted or completely stripped? Because of the importance of moral education to the moral health of African children, neither the school nor the family should be a neutral bystander in the character education of African youth. For our children to behave well we have drum or inculcate good characters into them. As Friedrich Nietzsche points out in ‘On the Genealogy of Morals’, "if something is to stay in the memory it must be burned in." It is appropriate to note that societies since the time of Plato have made moral education a deliberate aim of schooling. They educated for good character as well as intellect, decency as well as literacy, virtue as well as knowledge; they tried to form citizens who would use their intelligence to benefit others as well as themselves so as to build a better tomorrow. But as people began to worship money and material wealth (with less regard for good character), support for old-fashioned character education crumbled, with morality taking a nosedive.

The negative influence of the West on African schools notwithstanding, the environment back home in Africa is still relatively better for ‘good moral education’ of African children than what is obtainable in the Diaspora. Sadly many of the African youths raised in the Diaspora know little or nothing about Africa other than the distorted and negative views the developed world has about the continent. It is therefore, imperative for African parents in the Diaspora to give their children appropriate and realistic information about Africa to dispel the negative perceptions the West has about it. For that Opoku-Owusu (AFFORD, July 2003) has urged Africans in the Diaspora to influence the Western media to change the negative perceptions it has about Africa. But the crux of the matter is how would the African child get the appropriate information if he/she were not given the opportunity to live in an African society?

Experts in human development have noted that ‘values-driven education’ enables a society to survive and thrive, and to keep intact and grow toward conditions that support full human development of all its members. As noted earlier, it seems an uphill task to have a functional moral education in an individualistic and materialistic pop-culture of the Western world, which emphasizes materialism at the expense of good moral behaviour. And often times, some of the married African women in the Diaspora that imitate the negative aspects of Western Culture contribute in causing frictions and fractures in African homes. Some overprotect their children and buy for them whatever they ask for, while taking pleasure in lashing and undermining their husbands. Some African wives in the Diaspora seem to have perfected what Thompson and Jenkins (2004) brand ‘Verbal Karate’. As experts have noted, "If you gave your children everything they wanted, you’d turn them into mean, nasty little yuppies. [And] You’d be working two and three jobs, and you’d grow old quick and die [young] ibid."

Because of the heavy economic burdens on African parents in the Diaspora, many have multiple jobs that allow them little or no time for good parental care (disciplining, knowing and controlling who their children associate with, making sure that they do their homework etc.) In a more relaxed, community-oriented and less materialistic/competitive traditional African society, the wife is often at home with the children. More importantly, it ‘takes a whole community to raise an African child’ (the neighbour, uncle, cousin, niece, nephew or ‘even a stranger’ could assist in raising a child in the absence of the biological parents). Obviously, this is not possible in the Diaspora!

As with children, the Western society gives women unlimited powers, thereby creating super-ladies (those who challenge authority, hate being told what to do, and will usually refuse to follow their husband’s advice). Also the man has his own baggage. But the reality is that the biggest enemy of an ‘African man’ is anyone who challenges his authority. More often than not, the bossy attitude of the ‘westernized African’ woman makes the upbringing of their children more difficult. This type of behaviour is common in the United States among those who have a dollarized notion of marriage because they erroneously think that they could do well financially without their husband. Individuals who are ‘social-image consciousness’ (Covey 1989) would resort to quick-fix solution by applying ‘social Band-Aids’ as they indulge in daily consuming of ‘aspirin’ that temporarily seem to address the problems that ‘fester and resurface time and again.’ Families facing such problems have often ended up raising frustrated and dysfunctional children.

African families in the Diaspora face a real dilemma in raising their children because the society in which they live does not subscribe to the African traditional values they cherish. This is frustrating to say the least because the African child needs qualitative Western education as well as a good training in the progressive aspects of African culture in order to be a worthy ambassador of Africa in the Diaspora. The Diaspora News of Sunday of 22 Feb 2004 in fact notes the "need to strike a balance between African traditional values and those of individualistic society of North America;" because "when people learn to do good and love the good, they take delight in doing the good."

To fill the void created by the scarcity (or lack) of educational institutions that offer instructions in African culture, Africans in Diaspora should come together and establish such educational centres that could teach the progressive aspects African culture to the children of African descent and others interested in African culture. If other nationalities could do this, why not Africans? To solve a problem of this magnitude African leaders in the Diaspora must be proactive. Proactive problem solving, as experts have noted, includes designing the future we want and finding the most effective way to get there.