Hey chums! Ever wanted to be an emo-kid? No? Shut up. Here is a slaptastic guide to becoming an emo-kid. YOU WILL LIKE IT.
1) If you don't have a pair already, invest in a pair of glasses. Ovular shaped frames are better, because for some unknown reason they are more emotional. Yeah.
2) Ensure that you NEVER EVER smile. If this is too difficult for you to achieve, grab a nearby staple gun and stick a few through the corners of your mouth into your gums. Now everybody will see you misery!
3) Learn these quotes and use them as often as possible:
"Why did Far split up? Why? Onelinedrawing and New End Original are good, but Far were the greatest! Why is my life full of so much pain?"
"No I don't want to go out; I'm not good enough"
"What's the point? You and me are both going to die anyway"
"That's depressing"
4) Try and keep at least 1 metre away from everybody else - if you go to a concert then this no longer applies as long as you don't mosh once and always look as if you are going to cry.
5) Grab a guitar (any type is good, even if you have to steal it you can tell the police about your pain and they will surely run away from you as fast as possible) and make sure the guitar is in standard tuning. Now play this tune for 8 hours straight:
E|--12--------|
B|------12----|
G|----------13|
D|------------| x4
A|------------|
E|------------|
E|--11--------|
B|------12----|
G|----------13|
D|------------| x4
A|------------|
E|------------|
WOW! Now you're an emo-kid!! TOTALLY EMO-TASTIC!
Mike's Totally Jawsome Emo Guide