(1)
(i)(a) The constitution shall and is named Barry.
(i)(b) It shall be loved by lemmings all around Southern Asia.
(ii)(a) The lemmings shall be taken advantage of, and become so permanently belligerant and warped that they can't stop humping trees.
(ii)(b) The above also applies to geese.
(iii) The lemmings and geese shall mate together and create a new creature, which Mike will name a "Sh-Mike". And it will become a major hardcore porn star, and outsell all existing VHS and DVD titles with the release of "Cum Crazy Sh-Mikes In Raspberry Liquidy Stuff And Kinky DANNY DEVITO" which will sell for the retail price of $0.48 at all gay outlets.
(2)
(i)(a) Mike and Amanda must start worrying about protecting the gay outlets from the pygmies with the secret stench weapon - pygmies are invincible to cool people.
(i)(b) Mike and Amanda are really cool.
(ii)(a) The pygmies may try to bomb the many palaces owned by Mike and Amanda.
(ii)(b) Therefore to avoid being attacked by the pygmies, Mike and Amanda must rule the Barry government from small huts made of moose crap.
(iii)(a) However the pygmies can only bomb the palaces with minute pieces of cheese, which is totally useless.
(iii)(b) Moose crap huts are good, but have the tendency to attract Australians.
(3)
(i)(a) The Australians must be fought off with a big stick with pointy bits on it.
(i)(b) Using a pot of strawberry jam on the Australians could cause them to act out bad Disney movies - this would service as entertainment if jumping up and down on a single spot shouting, "I'M A TEAPOT!" became boring.
(i)(c) Grape jam could also be used - this causes the Australians to feel an irresistable sensation in their loins that makes them shout orgasm noises thus making everyone else feel akward and afraid of interaction with other beings.
(i)(d) The orgasm noises shall cause constant male erections, so people can always tell how much meat a man is packing (see also (4, v9) for a better explanation). Therefore people will all be attracted to each other and up for it, but they will be able to do nothing and will have to resort to killing themselves. This will leave only Mike and Amanda on Earth, so Mike can start his true calling in life - writing bad daytime sitcoms.
(ii)(a) Everyone shall be an individual and chaos shall be the law.
(ii)(b) However Barry shall be a peaceful government and classical Beethoven shall be blasted non-stop throughout the world.
(4)
(i)(a) Barry followers kick ass.
(i)(b) Especially Barry leaders.
(i)(c) This is literal for Mike, he is 1988 - 1999 UK Ass Kicking Champion.
(ii)(a) Mike and Amanda shall have the moon carved into their faces.
(ii)(b) Hold on, that doesn't make sense...
(iii)(a) ...the moon should be carved to look like their faces, so that when people look up to the sky at night, they will see Mike and Amanda and remember how they changed their lives.
(iii)(b) At daytime, so people shall still remember how their lives were changed, Mike will run around naked screaming, "ME! ME! ME!". Then they shall truly know his awesome power.
(iv) Ignore (4, ii, a), because if Mike and Amanda had the moon carved into their faces they wouldn't be able to get through doorways.
(v) Barry followers should be nudists.
(5)
(i)(a) Nudity along with the awesome background music of Beethoven, orgasm sounds and "I'M A TEAPOT!" will be lovely, so free.
(i)(b) Much love-making 'neath the verandah will cause people to think that walking on their heads is much more practical, thus increasing mortality rate of people falling down manholes by 90%.
(ii)(a) Hermaphrodites shall be sacred.
(ii)(b) Not that they are not already sacred, they just don't get the recognition they deserve - this is one of Amanda's biggest upsets.
(iii)(a) Hermaphrodites get to live in BIG moose crap huts and be served buckets of potatoes all day by women who are flat-chested and men with small penises because they worship hermaphrodites 24/7 and don't mind.
(iii)(b) They also get to hold all the major orgies in the world at their huts.
(iii)(c) Everyone must kiss their asses upon arrival.