Chapter 2: "Adapting to Life" Commentary

If you're wondering why these early chapters are so short, it's rather simple. The chapters themselves were imposed long after the story was written, and so I used specific 'mini-arcs' of story to determine what was or wasn't a chapter. Length has nothing to do with it. And so the first part of the chapter is just a simple start to the sub-plot relationship between Cirus and Asuka. Asuka fans most likely already dislike Kenosis, but really I'm using Cirus to break her of the 'Kaji habit', opening up her eyes to someone else. By the end of Kenosis, it'll be clear whom Asuka is intended to date, hehehe. Regarding the blatant rip-off of the series, using the pass-card gimmick to put Asuka and Cirus together, I find a simple truth is satisfactory for explanation. Rob a man of a hundred dollars and make him laugh, and he'll leave you be. Rob a man of a penny and leave him angry, and he'll hunt you down. So rather than hoping my audience is too stupid to catch the rip-off, I turned it into an in-story joke. Meh... old tricks are the best tricks, right? Again, Shinji may seem too independent for his character, but I think he's developed enough in the series to the point where I cut in to do most of what I'm writing. My apologies if it makes it harder to enjoy the story. And, of course, the sheer character interaction is fun. I love it when Misato gets 'sly'.

While, ostensibly, this scene is important because of what it established between Cirus and Asuka, it's actually more important as the first time we get to see Cirus' actual personality exposed. His 'inner monologue' is very much a characteristic of my own, and you'll notice it several other times in the story. I usually just use it for humor, but it's also a handy narrative tool in certain scenes. One aspect the reader may already notice is Cirus' somewhat extreme drive to be respectful or docile around women. He's the very opposite of James Bond. Also, Cirus is handsome, I am not, hehehe. The conspicuous specificity Cirus demonstrates in the 'kind of relationship' he's looking for is actually foreshadowing. You'll consider it patently obvious later, so explaining it now would just be silly.

Beyond character interaction, I just love hinting at secrets I'm not going to reveal until some important scene later. The nature of Cirus' eyes is one such juicy detail. Misato is more nervous around Cirus because she, as the adult, as more understanding of what he might be able to do. Asuka and Shinji aren't really aware of what Cirus is as much as an adult like Misato would readily percieve. Until one gets to know Cirus, he makes him/her very nervous. Naturally, Cirus' inner dialogue or point of view helps curb that 'dark mystery' to a simple ignorance level and suspicion. The truth, of course, is a mixture of the two. He's not psycho, but no little kid, either. And, being such an Asuka-basher, I decided to give Asuka at least one scene in the spot-light, leaving Shinji and Misato blinking. Visualizing her saying 'I can be very pursuasive' always cracks me up.


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