Chapter 13: "Suffer the Threshold"; part 2

The sun of the afternoon was glistening over the silvery surface of the completed cover like a rippling pond for a giant. The partially completed city stuck up out of the cover like twigs in the mud, if the twigs were made of glittering silver. Adding to this beautiful, though unnatural, view, Unit 00 slowly shifted a building into its proper location, following the directions given to her over the comm by one of the workers down on the ground level.

"Right point one meters," the voice said.

Rei edged the building to the right slightly.

"Perfect, drop it."

The Eva let go by her command, and the building slid down into place without a sign of difficulty. Rei was working in the southern portion of the city, adding more buildings to the still incomplete collection. Tokyo-3 was becoming a true city again, and looked almost exactly the same as before, save for the massive cover itself shimmering and glittering in the sunlight.

"Unit 00, please report to B-67," another voice spoke over Rei's internal comm.

"Understood," she replied and marched toward the location steadily.

Upon reaching her destination, she hefted the building up, and started to settle it down into place. When a new voice confirmed success, her bright-red eyes looked around again. She was somewhat surprised to see Unit 14 off in the distance working, but paid little more attention to it.

And so it went for the next few hours. The Evas would move the buildings into place and the human workers would set them into their slots properly. And finally, at five thirty that afternoon, Tokyo-3 was once again a city.

"I think congratulations are in order," Ritsuko commented with a smile as she looked up at the screen.

"Yeah, I think so, too," Misato replied slowly, smiling wistfully.

Ritsuko's smile warmed at her friend's distant expression, and then the doctor looked back up to the screen herself. It was good to see, that was for certain.

Misato opened the comm. "Everyone, great work. It's done. Tokyo-3 is here at last."

"We did it!" Asuka replied among the din of positive comm chatter.

"As promised, Major," Cirus spoke up calmly with gentle wry smile.

Misato's wistful smile warmed up and she nodded. "Thank you, Cirus."

"We're home, Miss Misato," Shinji came in.

Her eyes positively glowed with happiness and relief as she looked out upon Tokyo-3. "We are, Shinji. We really are."

*****

A full, three-course meal for five steamed in its packages on the kitchen table in Major Katsuragi's apartment. She, Shinji, Asuka, Rei, and Cirus all sat around the table, the pilots gathered under the Major's invitation as a celebration for the completion of the city.

"Let's eat!" she shouted energetically and then dug into her food.

Asuka and Shinji were noticeably wary of the food. Cirus noticed with polite interest that neither of them were eating, and Rei didn't seem hungry, so he cautiously raised a bite to his mouth.

"Uh... Cirus, you might not want to do that," Asuka warned him.

"My cooking is just fine, Asuka," Misato replied sourly. "Try it Cirus."

Cirus swallowed with a forced smile. "I'm sure it's delicious, Major. Indeed, its reputation proceeds it."

"Well try it then!" Misato persisted.

Cirus looked to Shinji and Asuka for support, but they shook their heads, not wanting to be involved. "Well... it can't be that bad..." he said and put the food in his mouth.

"Oh yes it could," Shinji commented dryly.

And, on contact, he was found correct. Cirus forced himself to swallow it, and smiled at Misato. He cleared his throat forcefully. "Yes, very... good... Major... umm, may I be excused? I need to... wash my mouth--I mean--drink something," he corrected himself abruptly.

Misato's eyebrow started to twitch, but she shrugged. "Fine, go."

Cirus disappeared out of the kitchen before she'd finished the sentence.

"It never fails," Asuka commented, looking up at the ceiling.

"No kidding," Shinji replied.

Cirus reappeared, his face noticeably more pale. He smiled and walked around the table, sitting back down. Though he didn't touch his dinner again. Thank G'd Rei cooked that night.

With an interested sound and a little lean forward, Misato directed her attention to Rei. "Why don't you try some, Rei?"

"I don't like meat, Miss Katsuragi," Rei answered.

The older woman's expression slackened at the reminder. "Oh yeah... sorry, Rei," she replied.

The blue-haired young woman softly shook her head. "It is alright. I was not hungry."

"It's also not meat," Cirus commented under his breath.

"I heard that," Misato replied dryly.

"Heard what?" Cirus retorted, feigning innocence.

Misato narrowed her eyes at him, but ignored it.

Asuka's voice came out of nowhere, asking, "Cirus, could I see your eyes?"

Cirus turned to the red-haired girl, who was sitting on the side perpendicular to his, with a polite expression. He looked around the kitchen for a moment until he saw Pen-Pen.

"Ah, allow me to show you something, Miss Soryu," he started, getting up from his chair, and getting down on his haunches near Pen-Pen.

All four people at the table looked down to see what he was doing; even Rei turned her head to see.

"Hey, Pen-Pen, come here for a moment would you?" Cirus called the little creature.

Pen-Pen waddled up to Cirus with its head tilted to the side, staring at him blankly. Cirus bowed his head and removed his glasses, then looked up at Pen-Pen. The Penguin leapt into the air with a loud series of squawks, and ran out of the kitchen. Cirus put his glasses back on with a sigh and stood up, turning to the others. "And that is why I don't show people my eyes, Miss Soryu," he said as he sat back down.

Asuka was rather humbled the demonstration, as were Shinji and Misato. Cirus noticed that Rei was looking at him with her eyes focused in calm intent.

"I see," Asuka said finally. "Have you ever shown anyone your eyes?"

Misato looked to Cirus with a raised eyebrow and a slight smile. Cirus shook his head at her gall, but then looked to Asuka. "Only one person, Asuka," he answered.

Both Misato and Rei noticeably reacted to the statement.

"And who would that be?" Asuka asked.

"I can't tell you that without that person's permission, Asuka," Cirus answered plainly with a shrug.

"Are you really a spy?" Shinji asked suddenly.

"Shinji!" Misato reprimanded him in startled sharpness.

"I-I'm sorry..." He looked down at the table.

"Yes. Most of the time at least," Cirus answered calmly.

Shinji perked up. "And what are you the rest of the time?"

"An Eva pilot," the cryptic young man answered with a smile.

Asuka seemed to gain a new interest in him. "Have you ever been on any dangerous missions?" she asked insinuatingly.

Cirus raised an eyebrow thoughtfully, appearing to reminisce. In fact, he was debating whether to tell Asuka the truth about 'dangerous missions'. She obviously had some romantic delusion about them. "No, I'm afraid not," he decided to answer finally. It wasn't a lie, depending on the viewpoint.

Asuka sighed. "Oh well."

"Sorry to disappoint you, my lady," he replied, adding the title to cheer her up.

"Ah finally, a real boy," Asuka said, looking at Shinji with a leer.

Misato's expression was dry as she warned the young, red-haired woman, "Asuka, don't do that. Your face might freeze that way."

"And that wouldn't be very pretty," Cirus added with a wry smile. He hadn't meant for her to attack Shinji with it.

Asuka blushed, and sat very quietly in her seat.

"Cirus, may I ask you a rather... sensitive question?" Shinji asked.

Cirus raised his eyebrow at the other boy. "Yes, go ahead."

"Why do you pilot the Eva?"

I was created to... "Exposure really. I've just always been around the whole program so I've always wanted to be involved," he lied through his teeth with a straight face.

"Ah, I see..." Shinji replied thoughtfully.

Though it seemed part of her soured mood from the reprimand, Asuka looked up seriously to Cirus. "...What did you see?"

His face turned flat. "Where?" The calm tone hid any signs of awkwardness or deception.

"In the plug, when you went in," she explained.

"Ah... My Eva exploded on me, killing me with it," he answered.

Misato almost gave away his lie by flashing her eyes at him in surprise. He lied so easily and quickly.

Asuka swallowed. "I'm sorry... does that worry you a great deal?" she asked.

"Ah, not really. Quick way to die actually," he answered in an almost light manner.

That's his spy-self coming through, Misato realized rather sullenly.

"Then why did you see it?" Asuka continued.

Misato suddenly realized that the young woman had nailed Cirus in his lie. She looked at Cirus, and noticed an almost imperceptible flinch. She wouldn't have seen it without knowing for what to look.

"I don't know, really," Cirus answered. He'd managed to tell the truth within a lie. Quite an artist.

Rei could see it as well. His manner was forced whenever he answered the questions they were asking. She'd seen it on his face before, when he'd been trying to hide his emotions from her.

Misato looked over at Rei furtively, and saw that she had an inquisitive expression on her face as she looked at Cirus. So she can see it, too...

Once dinner was finished, Shinji and Asuka were drafted into clearing the table by Misato, despite Cirus' offer to do so.

"You know, if you two want to, you can sleep here tonight," Misato offered.

"I'm afraid I can't, Misato. I have to get up tomorrow morning," Cirus replied with a wry smile.

"Oh come on, it's not like I don't," Misato said dismissively. "Well what about you Rei?" she asked, looking to the young girl with a softly inquisitive face.

"I'm fine, Miss Katsuragi," she replied calmly.

"Eh, fine," Misato agreed with a slight yawn.

Cirus stood up. "In fact, I think I'll be going now. A... unique meal, Major," he tried his best to say something good about it.

Misato raised one eyebrow at him, but was smiling wryly. "Good night, Cirus."

Cirus bowed his head to her, and then Rei before heading out the door with a quick good-bye to all of them.

Not much time passed before Rei stood up and said, "I will go now."

"Would you like me to send Shinji with you?" Misato suggested.

Shinji's mouth dropped open, and he turned to Misato. "M-miss Misato!"

Rei looked up at Shinji calmly, and then back down at Misato. "No, that is fine. Good-bye," she said, and then left the kitchen. She walked down the small hall with the sound of the main door following shortly.

Rei walked down the hall of the building, looking down at the ground. She did not want to be alone, but she was used to it. The night before, her vision in the plug returned as a nightmare, and she had woken up, crying again. The violent image of Unit 14 and Kafziel falling apart had almost caused her physical pain along with the memory of Ikari�s massive hand reaching down and playing with her like a child's toy. She had been alone once more; alone in darkness. Sorrow began to envelope her heart as she walked down the hall, and she closed her eyes against the silent tears starting to seep free, gasping gently.

"Miss Ayanami?" Cirus' voice called from behind her.

Rei turned around, her surprise evident on her tear streaked face. He was standing behind her, half hidden in the shadows of the dark hall. "...I thought you had gone," she uttered in a near whisper.

"I didn't want to embarrass you in front of the others with what I wanted to say. What's wrong?" His voice was calm, but she could see the sympathy on his face.

I don't want to go back alone... She bowed her head, pausing, and then spoke quietly, "...I do not know why I am crying." Before Cirus could respond, she stepped closer to him, still looking down at the ground. "...I ...I do not want to be alone anymore..." she explained at last, and then suddenly grabbed onto him, her fingers clinging into the folds of his coat.

His arms wrapped around her, and she felt his head rest on hers. She cried into his shoulder, silent as she gripped him more firmly. She didn't know why it made her feel better, but it did. She didn't even fully understand her tears.

Cirus couldn't reply other than holding her. Anything he would have said would have demeaned her pain.

"...I am sorry. I do not mean to make you uncomfortable," she said with an even softer tone, her voice muffled in his shoulder.

"You don't, Miss Ayanami. Not right now," he replied, soothing and gentle.

Rei started to pull away then, and Cirus relaxed his arms to allow her. She looked up at his face, her eyes still shining more than usual. "...You said I could come to your home whenever I wished, may I?" she asked in a voice so soft that Cirus could barely hear it.

"Absolutely, Miss Ayanami," he answered her with calm assurance.

She nodded, and then looked down at the ground. "...Thank you."

"Don't thank me... please. It's an honor to hear the request," he replied with a soft smile.

Rei nodded, and Cirus started with her toward his home. They didn't speak the rest of the journey, but Cirus kept a concerned eye on Rei as they walked. It was clear the previous night had taken its toll on her, pulling deep guilt up through his heart for allowing her to go. He should have at least stayed with her at her apartment; not left her alone. ...I'm so sorry, Rei...

When they finally reached his door, he opened it quietly, and let her step in first before following her in. She walked into the living area, as she seemed to do every time, and looked around politely.

"Is there anything I should get you from your apartment, Miss Ayanami?" Cirus asked, suddenly realizing she only had what she was wearing.

Rei turned back around to him, and then down at the ground thoughtfully. "No, thank you," she said after a moment, looking back up at him.

He nodded slowly, and then walked into the sitting room himself. He motioned at the seat near her. "You can sit if you want, Miss Ayanami. You don't need to ask my permission for anything here," he explained.

Rei abruptly turned her face to the chair, both to hide her rapidly blushing cheeks, and to see the chair. She sat down, and continued to look down at the ground until her face cooled down.

Cirus sat down himself, across from her, in another chair. He didn't stare at her; that would have made them both uncomfortable. He calmly looked down at the table between the two chairs instead.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say at times like this," Rei said suddenly, though her voice remained as soft as a breeze.

Cirus looked up at her, and smiled. "You don't have to say anything, Miss Ayanami."

Rei looked into his eyes with calm, curious intent. "Why did you lie to the others during dinner?"

Cirus winced. "...I didn't want to tell them the things they were asking to know."

"But they have answered the same questions for you," Rei replied.

Cirus tipped his head in acknowledgement of the point. "That is true."

"What did you see?"

Cirus closed his eyes tightly, and clenched his fist. "...Please don't ask me that question..." he pleaded in a soft, low tone.

"Why not?"

"...Because I... can't tell you."

"I told you what I saw, how is yours different?" Rei asked, her face perfectly calm.

Cirus had to admit she had an excellent point, but revealing his nightmare vision to her, of anyone, would be deeply disturbing, beyond the embarrassment to himself. "Could... could I tell you another time, Miss Ayanami?" he asked finally.

Rei nodded.

"Thank you." His relief was quite apparent in his tone.

Rei nodded again, and then looked at him more intently. "I feel tired."

Cirus smiled at her. "The bed's all yours, Miss Ayanami."

Rei thanked him with a gentle tip of her head, and walked to the bedroom. She didn't feel like she should take his own bed from him, but he didn�t seem to mind. She let the thought pass, and walked over to the bed, starting to take her dress off, and leaving the shirt beneath on. She gently climbed into the bed, and pulled the covers around herself, lying on her side. She did feel much safer knowing that she wasn't alone this time, and the bed was warmer than hers, more comforting. But, after closing her eyes, she started to cry again. The vision appeared in her mind every time she was alone in darkness. Even though she knew Cirus was just in the next room, she felt alone. She didn't want to feel alone, and Cirus had told her he would stay, so she pulled the covers off of herself, and gently hopped out of the bed. Padding to the doorway on her bare feet, she asked quietly, "Cirus?" slightly awkward at saying his name.

He looked up from something in his chair, and focused on her. "...Yes, Miss Ayanami?"

"Could... could you stay with me... at least until I fall asleep?" she asked slowly.

"Of course," he replied with a smile, and stood up, walking over to her.

"...Thank you," she said as he walked into the room with her.

She got back into the bed and pulled herself back into the covers, while Cirus sat down against the wall near the bedside.

Rei still felt alone when she closed her eyes. It was a little better, but it was still there, Unit 14 flying apart, the large, gloved hand... She opened her eyes again and looked at Cirus. "...Could you hold me?" she asked in a quiet, very soft voice.

Cirus was struck with surprise, and looked at her. She could see the red appear on his face. "A-are you certain?" he asked.

"Yes... please," she answered. "I feel alone still."

Cirus swallowed a lump in his throat, but got up, and walked around the other side of the bed. He got onto it, and lay down beside Rei, wrapped warmly in the blankets, on his side, putting his arm around her. She pulled herself closer to him, causing him to gasp quietly. Cirus could feel her breathe she was so close.

"...Thank you." Her voice was so quiet he barely heard her, even as they were.

"...You are welcome, Miss Ayanami," Cirus replied.

Rei closed her eyes again, and still saw the vision, but with Cirus' arm around her, she could tell she wasn't alone. She reached up with one of her hands out of the covers, and held his arm to her. She felt safe now, and, as she slowly started to drift off to sleep, she smiled gently.

Cirus felt her entire body relax, and sink even further into his as she held his arm. He could tell she was at least falling asleep if not so already. After a few minutes, he was finally able to calm down as well. The fact that she could relax in his arms was possibly the best gift he could have received. And she was so close... each time she breathed he could feel it.

She trusted him, and he would never betray that trust.


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