| CHAPTER 2 THE HIDDEN OBJECT Three hours later it was starting to get dark. Mike decided that it was time to go back to the old factory that he had found a few hours earlier. He left his house, and checking no one was around, headed quickly towards the River Toon. He arrived, out of breath. The window was still open, so he climbed in. There it was, VT, in all its glory. He walked up and touched a leg. It was cold. He walked around it, wondering what it was. He came back to the front, stood back, and said to himself "Its a robot!" Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder, he gulped and turned around, where he was greated by a fist that hit him on the left of his face. Mike fell down, he was knocked out. The next thing he knew, he was lying on a table. There was a candle dimly lighting the room in the corner, and a poster advertising Glastonbury 2006, which the main event was Daphne and Celeste, with support from The Chaos Society, a glam metal Manowar tribute band. "Sorry son" said a man sitting in the corner. "Thought you were a guard" Mike replied, "no, i'm not" in a quivering voice full of nervousness" "Well whats your name" The man asked again "Mike, Mike Hunt" Mike answered. "I'm Dave, Dave Frederick Mustaine" Dave walked over to Mike, when Mike noticed he only had one arm, his left one was missing. "Sorry for punching you, sit up and I'll pour you some LCL" Mike had heard of LCL, it was legendary Gateshead drink, making even the weakest man think he was a ECW heavyweight champion. It was that potent, apparently an underground Japanese organisation used it to power some sort of machine, a endogalion or something like that. Dave handed Mike a glass, and Mike sipped it. "Where am I" asked Mike. Dave explained. "This is Underground Network for the Destruction of Evil, Robot Producing Association Newcastle Terror Section, or Project UNDERPANTS as it is more commonly known. We were a small, I guess you'd call, a terror outfit before the war. We invented the "Charver", bankrupted Smiths crisps, took late night wrestling of ITV (bastards) and made the soap Quayside. Then the war started. Then it ended. Then nothing, but Newcastle laughing at us, them, and their fucking football team, their Bigg Market, the moving statue of Warren Barton, I FUCKING HATE THEM!!!!!!!" Dave got angry, he punched the Glastonbury poster which fell onto the floor. "Sorry, as I was saying, we were a terror outfit, but most of us were wiped out during the bombing raids. We are the only survivors out of our once proud group, and we decided to fight back." "We?" asked Mike. "Yeah, theres three more, Lenny, who joined here after his bar was destroyed, Carl, who I've known since school, a bit of a hard bastard, and Moe, who is a genius, they're out scouting, I was asked to stay here and watch you. We might have a job for you." Dave went on, he explained how thanks to the war, they were all disfigured, and were suprised to find a youngster who was still fit. "That thing you seen upstairs, its a (he made inverted commas using his hands) flying machine, and has a never ended power supply using human created carbon dioxide, and we need someone like you to pilot it" "Me", replied Mike, "I've never flew in my life" "Its easy" replied Dave, "We'll show you, do you want to stay living in this shithole for the rest of your days, or do you want to help kill some Geordie scum and take back Gateshead." "Well yes but......" replied Mike, he was stopped in mid sentence. "No buts, you are the new pilot" Dave pulled a gun out and pointed it at Mikes head The gun was about an inch away from his forehead, a bead of sweat dripped down Mikes face. "Sorry son, but we need you, and we will stop at nothing, you are the new pilot, the man inside ..... Vaginal Thrust!" |
| Check back soon for Part 3: Muff Diver |