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I've heard people say that teasing doesn't hurt, that it's 'just part of growing up' or that it's the teased child's fault for being teasable. For one thing, teasing is no more the child's fault than it is a woman's fault if she is raped. It is the fault of the teaser for teasing, not the teased for being a target. Kids can be teased for anything from autism to freckles. Gifted and/or autistic kids are often reffered to as nerds, geeks, freaks or weirdos. Larger kids are often reffered to as fatso or chubbo and have semi(or other big truck) jokes directed at them. Kids with braces are often called metalmouth, stutterers are imitated as they speak and called names like Porky Pig, poorly co-ordinated kids are called klutz and tripped or pushed. Developmentally delayed and LD kids are called stupid, moron, idiot or retard. Kids with low self esteem are teased, and teasing causes low self esteem. The diversity among teased kids, and the fact that most, if not all, characteristics kids are teased for can't be changed by the kid(a gifted kid can't stop being gifted, fat kids usually just have an endomorphic body style, etc), means that it's not the fault of the kid. There are some traits common to teasers, such as low-self esteem, but the fact that many kids in the same situation do not tease others shows that's a choice of theirs. More frightening, some bullies have Oppositional Defiant Disorder or the more severe Conduct Disorder, which are precursers to Antisocial Personality Disorder. The second belief, that teasing doesn't hurt and is part of growing up, is not true either. The saying 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me' may be true physically, but words can hurt emotionally. I know this personally, since I was teased in school. I'm a sensitive, gifted, slightly autistic girl, and I was teased and ostracised from grade 1 until I started being homeschooled at grade 7. I was told to ignore them, so I tried my best. I would ignore them as long as I could them explode and attack whoever was in the way when it got to be too much. Meanwhile my self esteem, already low due to PTSD, plummeted. At age 10 I was considering suicide and berating myself for being scared to die. I retreated into books and would cut class to hide in the library reading. I've heard of other teased kids who commited suicide. So if you know of a kid being teased, don't just ignore it, because the price is so high. Ignoring injustice and abuse makes you take on some of the blame for it, because if you stand up to it you can make a difference. |
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