DARWIN AWARDS: Its that time of year again!! Latest Darwin Award

(The Darwin award, for those not familiar, are for those individuals who
contribute to the survival of the fittest by eliminating themselves from the
gene pool before they have a chance to breed).
NOMINEES:

A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply because
he had no money to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly,
this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his
house. The resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both
him and his sister.
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A 34 yr. old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of
suffocation, police said. He was approximately 6' 2" and 225lb. He was
wearing a pleated skirt, women's makeup and woman's wig. It appeared that he
was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a
military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose
attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to a hollow
wooden section of bedpost approximately 12 inches long and 3 inches in
diameter. This bedpost was inserted into his rear end for reasons unknown,
and was the cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of explaining
the circumstances were very awkward.
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Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when
another plane approached. It appears they decided to "moon" the occupants of
the other plane, but lost control of the plane and crashed. They were all
found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.
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A police officer in Ohio responded to a call that was made to 911. She had
no details before arriving except that someone was reporting that his father
was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the man face down on the
couch, naked. When she rolled him over to check for a pulse and to start CPR
if necessary, she noticed burn marks around his genitals. After the
ambulance arrived and removed the man (who turned out to be dead on arrival
at hospital), the police made a closer inspection of the couch, and noticed
that the man had made a hole between the cushions. Upon flipping the couch
over they discovered what caused his death. Apparently the man had a habit
of putting his penis between the cushions, down into the hole and between
two electric sanders (with the sandpaper removed for obvious reasons).
According to the story, after his orgasm the discharge shorted out one of
the sanders, electrocuting him.
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A 27 year-old French woman lost control over her car on a highway near
Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her passenger and
killing her. As a commonplace road accident, this would not have qualified
for a Darwin nomination were it not for the fact that the driver's attention
had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring, which had started urgently
beeping for food as she drove along. In attempting to press the correct
buttons to save the Tamagotchi's life, the woman lost her own.
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A 22-year-old Reston man was found dead yesterday after he tried to use occy
straps (the stretchy little ropes with hooks on each end) to bungee jump off
a 70-foot railroad trestle, police said. Fairfax County police said Eric A.
Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped
an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake
Accotink Park, jumped....and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police
spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was
found nearby. "The length of the cord that the had assembled was greater
than the distance between the trestle and the ground" Carmichael said.
Police say the apparent cause of death was "major trauma." An autopsy is
scheduled for later in the week.
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A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. Big deal you may say, but
there's a twist here that makes him a candidate. It seems he and a friend
were playing catch with a rattlesnake. You can guess what happened from
here. The friend (a future Darwin Awards candidate) was hospitalized.