Alone in the dark I sit and cry, wondering if my life's for real.
My boyfriend left me, so I've had my heart torn out
I feel so cold and empty, I laugh inspite of myself.
I watch the crimson liquid flow down my wrist
Press the blade in deeper, temptation hard to resist.
Hoping for the courage to end my pain
I don't feel anything... Am I insane?
I think of everything he's done to me, and how it's made me feel
Tears rolls down my cheeks as I feel the throbbing steel.
My friends warned me not to love, it only causes heartache
But I took that risk, and now my life's at stake.
The hell with life, what's the point if you're all alone?
Inside his arms was my safe place when I couldn't go back home.
He showed me the beauty of life, a love that thawed my heart
Without him I'm cold and restless... My whole world is falling apart.
I'd give anything for him to hold me and whisper in my ear
Sadly that'll never happen though.. God I wish he were here..
How I wish I could once more, feel his lips against mine
The angels I'm about to see, don't compare to the one I'm leaving behind..
I miss the way I breathed him in, and felt like I could drown
The way he said he loved me, and he'd never let me down.
If only he hadn't changed, why couldn't he stay that way
The horrid things he's done to me, is why I'm doing this today.
I think of my friends and family, everything I'd leave behind
Can I really go through with this? I feel like I've lost my mind...
I realize that they'd miss me, and I don't want them to hurt
They shouldn't have to feel like me, they shouldn't feel like dirt.
More tears fill my eyes and I loosen my grip on the blade
I think of how they love me, and all my pain just fades.
The blade falls to the ground, covered in my blood
I look down seeing myself drenched, then fall to the floor with a thud.
As I now lie here on the floor everyhting is blurry
I slowly wait for death, not in much of a hurry.
I know I'm slowly dying and I can't do anything to stop it
It's too late to call for help so I just rest a bit.
I feel a little drowsy, earlier I took 13 pills
I throw up on the floor, then suddenly lie still.
My breaths are heavy and slow as I lie there
I know I'm slowly dying, but I'm too tired to care.
It gets darker as I shiver lying on the floor
My heart then stops beating, and I know I won't hurt anymore.
I cut myself today to see if I can feel
What I did was stupid.. life isn't a game, it's real.
DeityOfDarkness/ Shaddai Charles
05/ 21/ 02
