Chapter Eight

After a 1:30 wake up call from Sal, Carmen decided to get up. She had an hour and a half before they had to meet Shane downstairs so she had every intention of taking a long bubble bath and pampering herself a little, sure that it would be her last opportunity to relax for the next two weeks.

She opened the two doors in her room finding two very roomy closets, one with a very plush robe hanging on the door, but absolutely no bathroom. "Great," she growled, grabbing the robe and her shampoo and conditioner out of her overnight bag and walked into the main room. There was only one door other than the front door and the one to Elliott's room, so she assumed it was the bathroom.

Walking down the two stairs the led into the living room she walked over, opening the door happy to see a sink and toilet but stopped short when she saw Elliott standing there wearing nothing but little droplets of water as he dried off from his shower. Not realizing she was staring, her tongue peaked through her lips, wetting them.

"Um, CJ," Elliott called, finally realizing she was there and wrapping the towel around his waist. "CJ!" he yelled again this time breaking through her conscious.

"Ye…Huh? What… Elliott why the hell didn't you lock the door?" she bit back trying to cover her reaction but not succeeding as she felt her face grow hot.

He just smiled. "No reason to. You've already seen me naked before." He slowly passed her, brushing against her as he left the bathroom. "There's plenty of hot water left by the way. Or cold if you need it."

She shoved him away and rolled her eyes. "Go away." Quickly rushing inside and closing the door, making sure to lock in firmly behind her, only then did she realize how heavy she was breathing. "Yeah… cold may not be a bad idea." *So much for that relaxing bath.*

---

After avoiding Elliott until it was time for them to leave, they left to meet Shane and go to the hospital. He'd failed to mention that the local children's hospital they were visiting was an hour away in Orlando and being cooped up in the car next to Elliott for an hour was far too close for comfort after the bathroom incident earlier. And for some reason, he couldn't seem to keep on his side of the car. She shifted uncomfortably as his leg brushed against hers for at least the tenth time since they'd left the hotel. "How much farther is it?" she asked cheerfully, hiding her groan as he stretched his arm across the back of the seat, brushing her neck on the way.

As soon as they got there, they were whisked away into the Pediatric Oncology ward almost immediately putting Carmen on edge. She'd always had a soft spot for children but she wasn't sure she could handle them in this condition.

It nearly broken her heart when Gracie had been diagnosed with autism and that was nowhere near the trauma that these children and their parents had been through and she just wasn't sure she could do it. She stopped in the waiting room and sat down, happy when neither Elliott nor Shane realized she'd let them go ahead without her.

Back during her senior year of college a very close friend of hers had died of leukemia and though she'd never forgotten her, being here just brought back the pain. Before she realized it, there were tears streaming down her face and she'd broken into full-blown sobs.

"Ma'am?"

Carmen looked up, wiping her eyes suddenly feeling foolish. "Yes?" she sniffed, smiling at the nurse that had approached her. Oddly, she was comforted by her presence.

"Are you alright?" she asked, obviously confused by the strange woman who'd just walked in not five minutes ago and was already bawling like a little baby.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just wasn't prepared for this."

The nurse gave a weak smile and nodded. "Trust me, it's not any easier to prepare for when you work here everyday. It's hard getting close to all of these children knowing that over half of them aren't going to make it through the year." She sat next to her and put a comforting hand on her back. "If you don't mind my asking, why are you here? I know all of these kids and the families that have been through here in the past twenty years and I've never seen you before."

Carmen smiled. "I'm with Elliott Sadler, M & M…"

The nurse chuckled. "Oh honey, we know who Elliott is around here. He comes by at least twice a year to see these kids. And he does it because he wants to. I've never once seen a camera or television crew with him on his visits." Carmen sat quietly unable to hide the small smile that formed as this woman raved about Elliott and how special he was. Of course, she already knew that. He'd always been the charitable sort, even since they were kids. "… You're lucky to have a man like that. If I were younger I would've snatched him up long ago."

"What?" Carmen asked quickly snapping back to reality. "We're not…"

The woman's face grew red, obviously embarrassed by her presumption. "I'm sorry, I just thought… Well you're the first person he's ever brought here with him, besides Shane and well… if I do say so myself, that's got a hell of a ring you've got on your finger."

"It's alright, we're just friends. Really old friends…" She looked up as she saw Elliott rushing out of one of the rooms towards her.

He knelt in front of her and grabbed her hands. "I'm so sorry, Carmen. I didn't even think about it when we came up here. Are you okay?" He'd totally forgotten about her friend. She may not have told him but that didn't mean he didn't know. His mother more than kept him up on everything that had happened in her life since he'd left.

"It's not your fault, El," she looked at the nurse. "Anyway, we've been talking and I think I'll be okay. Just wasn't prepared for it."

Elliott brushed a strand of hair out of her face tucking it behind her ear. "Do you want to go in there with me?"

She took a deep breath thinking it over before she nodded and allowed him to take her hand and pull her along with him towards one of the rooms.

"Just friends… Yeah and Sinatra's about to walk through that door and sweep me off my feet," the older woman chuckled and walked back to the nurses station with a knowing smile.

---

Once she got past the initial trepidation, Carmen easily fell into the banter of the children, every one of them smiling and laughing despite their illness. She decided if they could be happy, she sure as hell had no reason not to be as well.

She walked towards the far end of the room sitting on a small stool beneath a large picture window, smiling when a shy little girl walked towards her and began playing with her hair. "I love your hair," she whispered as she combed her fingers through it.

Carmen smiled and looked into the little girls big brown eyes. "I'm Carmen," she said sweetly holding out her hand to the little girl, laughing when she shook her hand.

"My name's Mia," she shot back trying her best to sound tough. She took off her small hat and scratched her head. "My hair used to be long…"

Tears threatened to spill over as Carmen reached up and rubbed the little girls cheek. She smiled and looked towards Elliott who was watching her with a thoughtful expression. He smiled and nodded then turned back to playing with the little boy in the bed closest to the door. The child was too sick to get out of the bed, but Elliott didn't let that stop him, causing the boy to laugh as he ran cars up and down the length of the bed, making engine noises with his mouth as he did so.

"Alright, everybody. Elliott needs to leave," the nurse from earlier called from the door, causing all of the children to protest. "I'm sorry but you guys need to rest, you've been playing for over an hour and Elliott has to get back to work."

Carmen stood up, surprised when Mia wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly. She squatted down meeting the child's eyes and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "It was nice meeting you Ms. Mia," she smiled, her heart swelling when the child smiled back, returning the kiss.

"Come back with Elliott, Ms. Carmen," she called as she ran back towards her bed.

Carmen followed Elliott and Shane out of the room and waited for the nurse to calm the children down and close the door.

"Thanks for coming again Elliott. They really look forward to this. We all do." Carmen noticed her glancing between she and Elliott and wondered what was going through her mind.

Elliott hugged the woman giving her a big kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for having me Rosie." He winked at her, causing her to blush.

"Make sure you bring her back next time," she urged, motioning towards Carmen. "Bye guys, be careful."

Carmen smiled and followed Shane towards the elevator not waiting to see if Elliott was behind her, she knew he would be eventually. "How often does he do stuff like this?" she asked Shane before Elliott reached the elevator.

"He tries to visit at least one hospital in every city we stop at, sometimes he gets more in than that but normally just one a week."

---

"Are you okay?" Elliott asked, later that night as he walked into the suite to find Carmen sitting on one of the sofa's staring into space. He smiled as he took in her appearance. She'd already put on her pajamas, a pair of blue flannel ducky pajamas that she'd had forever, her hair was separated into two braids, and her bottom lip poked out slightly. She looked like a pouting 5 year old. "CJ?"

"Hmm?" She looked at him with wide eyes. "Hey. When'd you get back?" He'd had an interview to do that evening and she didn't feel like going. And after the day she'd had, he didn't ask her twice.

"Just now," he answered, sitting on the sofa opposite her. "Are you okay?"

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Just still absorbing."

"It's a lot to absorb. Unfortunately, it doesn't get any easier."

She took a deep breath trying to decide whether or not to ask him the next question. He must've noticed her expression because he was asking her before she had a chance to think about it. "Ask me… I know you've got something swimming around in that pretty little head of yours. I've seen that look before."

"Rosie said that you visit the kids at least twice a year…"

"Yeah."

"How often do you get close to one or two of them and they're not there when you get back?"

He closed his eyes trying to remember how many times it had happened. There'd been quite a few. "Every now and then you'll come across a kid that's absolutely exceptional, and it's not that I'm excluding the other kids its just sometimes you click with them. They remind you of something your love or yourself even and you can't help but get attached. It's hard not to fall in love with all of them to be honest with you… But yeah, I've been back and some of them have died, but some of them have gotten better and gone home. You take the good with the bad, Ceeg. There's no other way around it."

"How long has Mia been there?" Carmen asked. She'd been thinking about her since they'd gotten back from the hospital that afternoon and no matter what she tried she couldn't get her off of her mind.

"Mia?" Elliott said pondering. "Well, she's been there a while actually. I've asked Rosie about her and she said that Mia's in and out of the ward. Like all patients she has her good days but she's been there now for about 6 months. They're trying chemo again and if it doesn't work this time then she's …well there's not really anything else she can do."

"I see…" she took a deep breath and stood up. "I'm gonna go to bed."

He nodded. "Remember to set the alarm. We've got to be at the track at 9 so we're leaving around 8, with rush hour and everything."

"Alright." She climbed the stairs and opened her door, stopping to look back at Elliott as he sat on the couch. "Elliott?"

"Hmm?"

She waited for a moment then shook her head. "Nevermind…" she stepped inside and closed the door, leaning heavily against it. "I miss you…" she whispered, shutting of the light and climbing into the bed.