Chapter Eleven

Carmen and Elliott hadn't spoken since the ordeal in the bathroom three days before and since then her headache had constantly grown. She hated that it had come to this but where he was concerned she didn't think straight and the best thing for her to do was put some distance between them.

She'd lain in bed that morning listening for Elliott to leave, knowing she'd have to face him sometime that day because they had a meeting with Robert and Sal later that afternoon. How they were going to pull that off, she didn't know.

The bad part was, she wasn't angry with him, even though she knew he thought that she was. He'd never once lied to her or hidden his feelings from her, after all of these years, just being around him for the last few days had shown her that he still had deep feelings where she was concerned but she didn't know the extent and in her current situation, she didn't want to.

At this point, all it would take is one word from him and she'd be back in his arms, to hell with Frank. But her sense of responsibility wouldn't let her do that to him. He'd been there for her for so long, especially after Elliott left.

She'd called him a few times since they'd gotten there but he never had answered. When she called him at work, he'd been in a meeting, his cell phone had been turned off and all she got when she called home was the answering machine. It was beginning to sink in that this job wasn't going to work out well and she didn't know if she had the heart to give up so soon or try to work things out and make him see that he had nothing to worry about where Elliott was concerned.

Glancing at the clock, she groaned not wanting to move from the warm cocoon that she'd wrapped herself in the night before. One thing she was definitely going to miss when she went home was this bed. She'd never slept so good in her life. And she absolutely refused to believe it had anything to do with an outside factor, such as Elliott sleeping not 10 yards away from her.

Sal was supposed to meet her at the hauler in an hour and a half and even though race weekend wasn't exactly in full swing, just the fact that it was Daytona made traffic an absolute nightmare.

Not bothering with a shower, she pulled her hair into a tight ponytail and slipped on a pair of cargo pants and a white long sleeve shirt with an M & M's™ logo on it, as well as her favorite black logo hat and called for a car to meet her downstairs. Making sure she had her credentials with her, she headed downstairs mentally preparing herself for one of the toughest days of her life.

---

Elliott sat in the hauler with a cold rag over his face willing the pain to subside. Every time he opened his eyes, a sharp stab shot through his eyes into his head making him nauseous. He'd been laying there for over an hour and the only change had been the throbbing that had begun in his temples.

Of course, he had no one to blame but himself. He'd been taking advantage of the bar in their suite and rather than being smart and avoiding the alcohol last night he'd drank nearly a fifth of vodka while he drowned in self pity.

"Sadler," Robert called from the front of the hauler receiving a barely audible grunt from the back. He followed the groaning only to find Elliott sprawled on his back with a rag over his face. "What the hell did you do now?"

Elliott waved him off. "Nothing. Just have a headache. I'll be fine."

Robert sighed heavily and yanked the rag from Elliott's eyes. "I don't believe you're pulling this on the day of the Shootout. What the hell has gotten into you Elliott?" He growled, shaking his head at Elliott's blood shot eyes. Stepping into the bathroom he grabbed some Advil Migraine knowing that it might work better for a hangover than regular Advil and tossed them to Elliott as well as a bottle of water. "Take two of these and get your ass up. Eat something and be ready for the meeting with Sal at 2."

Elliott flinched as Robert slammed the door, silently swearing as he eased himself into a sitting position and took the two pills. He didn't know what he was doing. Carmen hadn't spoken to him in days and it just felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest every time that he saw her and she didn't acknowledge him. That was why he'd been drinking. Because if he couldn't feel his heart, it wouldn't hurt.

But Robert was right. He had a shootout to win tonight and if he had any hopes of that he had to straighten up.

He put on his hat, pulling it down over his eyes and stepped out of the hauler, nearly toppling over a few of the crew members that were sitting on the stairs. "Sorry guys…" he murmured. He walked towards the garage to check and see how things were coming along with his car then decided to pay a visit to his brother and Angie. Maybe playing with Hallie would get his mind off of things for a little while.

---

"Carmen!" Sal called as she approached the hauler slowly, trying to hide the fact that she was looking around for Elliott.

She sat next to him and smiled at the big grin on his face. "What ya so happy about Sal?"

He shrugged. "It's Daytona!! It's Speedweeks. Why aren't you happy!? Don't tell me after a week down here you still haven't gotten the fever."

"Um… Yeah well, all I've seen is a few practices. Maybe once I see a race I'll be into it but as of right now, I'm sad to say… still no fever."

Sal shook his head in disbelief. "I just don't get it. Maybe it's the testosterone…"

"Must be."

"So, where's Elliott?" he asked, glancing between she and Robert.

Carmen looked up in surprise. "He's not here?"

"He went for a walk. He wasn't feeling well this morning but he should be better by this afternoon." Robert stated then sat across from them to watch the people hovering around trying to get drivers' pictures and autographs.

Sal turned towards Carmen opening his mouth to speak when he froze.

She looked at him, confused by the look on his face. "You okay Sal?"

He pointed past her and she groaned and rolled her eyes. "You've got to be kidding me…"

"Well good morning to you too sunshine," Dale said squatting down next to her chair. "How are ya?"

She looked at him with mild disinterest until Sal tapped her on the shoulder. "Are you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Why?" she responded, completely missing the importance of this opportunity for him.

Dale reached past her and held his hand out to Sal. "Dale Earnhardt Jr, nice to meet you."

"Sal Williams." Sal was completely in awe. "It's an honor to meet you too."

Carmen rolled her eyes. "What?! An honor to meet him?" She shook her head. "I will never understand this."

Dale just chuckled and grabbed her hand, standing up to pull her out of her seat. "Come on."

"Dale, I'm in the middle of a meeting with my boss," she whined, motioning towards Sal.

He shook her off. "Go on Carmen. This can wait till this afternoon. We can't really meet until Elliott gets here anyway."

"Ugh." She rolled her eyes and allowed Dale to pull her along after him, not realizing until they were a few yards away from the hauler that Martin and another driver were with them. "Where are we going?"

Dale slowed and put his arm around her shoulders casually strolling along smiling at fans as they went but not bothering to stop for autographs or anything. "Lunch."

"Huh?" she looked at her watch realizing it was nearly noon. "Okay…"

They walked towards a group of motor homes and he walked ahead of her to open the door and motioned for her to enter, followed by the others.

"What do you want to eat?" Dale asked as he dug through the refrigerator pulling out every type of sandwich meat there was as well as tuna, chicken salad, and a macaroni salad. He then opened one of the cabinets pulling out a box of chips, crackers, cookies, and a loaf of bread.

"Good Lord," Carmen said looking at the huge amount of food in front of her. "Are you gonna eat all of this?"

He laughed. "No, that's why I brought all of you over here to eat."

"Okay."

She fixed herself a sandwich and grabbed a bottle of water, then sat at the table, surprised when Martin slid in next to her, practically pinning her to the wall as he hovered over his plate like someone was going to take it away from him. The other two sat across from them and they ate in silence.

Dale waited until everyone had cleaned their plates then swept them all into the garbage can before turning back to the table. "So, this is Tony," he motioned to the guy next to him as he stuck his hand across to shake Carmen's.

"Tony, this is Carmen."

"Elliott's Carmen?" He responded with raised brows and a knowing grin.

Carmen looked between the three of them, curious as to what they were up to. "I'm not Elliott's anything."

"That's not what I heard," Tony responded, trying his best not to laugh at the look on her face.

She pushed on Martin, trying to get him to move so she could get up but he sat firm, not budging as she used all of her strength against him. "You're not going anywhere Carmen just sit there and shut up," he said shortly, surprising her with his bluntness.

"Guys, I've got a meeting in a few minutes…"

"You're meeting isn't until two," Dale said like he knew her schedule better than she did. "We brought you here for a reason. We're worried about Elliott."

She buried her face in her hands momentarily before looking back at them with tired eyes. "Guys,.. That's really great that you're worried about him but I… I can't help you with Elliott. This job is already taking too much of a toll on me as it is just being around him and I can't…"

"He loves you, Carmen," Dale said pleadingly. "You're the reason he's like he is right now. And he's not good. We ran into him right before we came to get you and he looked like death warmed over, alright. You may not think you feel the same way about him, but he looks like he went a few rounds with JD last night and Elliott didn't win."

"I can't…"

Dale reached across the table and took her hands in his. "Look at me, Carmen. I realize you're engaged to someone else, but you are and have always been the one thing the Elliott has cared about. And he's been hitting the bottle pretty heavily for the past few days. The last thing we want to do is take him out of a car but that's what it's going to come down to, because there's no way he needs to be driving 190 in a car that he can't control because his reflexes are shit. He could kill himself or somebody else out there."

She took a deep breath and looked out the window. "What the hell am I supposed to do about it Dale?"

"Tell him how you feel. Tell him you love him."

She couldn't help but laugh at that. "How dare you assume that…"

"I'm not assuming anything. You told him you loved him the other night at the bar…"

"But I was drunk…"

"And that's when you say the things you don't have the guts to say when you're sober. Trust me on this. I know… I've been drunk many times, and the truths that have come out have gotten me in trouble, many times." He smiled, batting his pale lashes at her dramatically.

"That's not working," she muttered, rolling her eyes.

"What about this?" Martin asked, poking out his bottom lip and looking at her with big sad puppy dog eyes. She looked away from him only to find Tony doing the same thing.

"Geez!! Alright. I'll help but I'm not going to tell him that I love him. I'll just try to talk to him and get things sorted out so we can at least talk to each other without one of us running in the other direction."

The guys just sat there, smiling at each other and Carmen, no one saying a word.

"Can I get up now?"

"Huh? Oh yeah," Martin quickly jumped up and moved aside for Carmen to leave and she did so quickly, not quite slamming the door as she left and stormed across the grounds, only to come back a few minutes later.

"Yes?" Dale asked as she stepped inside.

She crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. "I don't know where I'm going…"

They just laughed as she swallowed her pride and Tony stepped forward offering her his arm. "This way milady…"

---

By the time they finished their meeting with Sal and Robert it was time for Elliott to get ready for the race and Carmen and Sal to go kiss some corporate behind. Before leaving the hauler, she'd cornered Elliott long enough to find out if he was feeling better and to tell him that they needed to talk after the race. Surprised by the scared look in his eyes, she reassured him that there wasn't anything wrong they just needed to talk and she left.

Now she was waiting for him to get out of the shower along with half a dozen reports that lingered outside of the hauler. He wasn't in the best mood and she suddenly began to rethink her decision. After finishing 12th in a race he'd started 9th in, his attitude had gone from shitty to absolutely fucked.

She was leaning against the counter inside, taking in the media circus when he hurried past her, grabbing her hand as he went and they hurried through the crowd of reporters. He didn't say a word to anyone just laced his fingers through hers and jumped quickly got into the car Shane had waiting for them.

Carmen looked out the window as the cameras flashed and then leaned back, not bothering to break the silence. She looked at the seat between them, where their hands rested, still entwined but she had no desire to break the contact. For right now, it was comforting.

He sat quietly staring out the window as the city passed by them in a blur. He never looked but began rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. "I'm sorry I pulled you through that back there, I'm just not in the mood to talk about how shitty of a driver I am."

"You're not a shitty driver, El," she encouraged, shaking her head at his statement. "You just had a bad day. I'm sure it's not the first time it's happened and you're not the only one it happened to. At least you finished the race, and you were still on the lead lap."

He shrugged. "Yeah. So, what'd you want to talk about?"

"It can wait until we get back to the room," she answered motioning towards the driver with her head. He just nodded and sat quietly for the remainder of the ride.

Once they got back to the room she went straight to the kitchen to grab something to drink and offered him something, happy when he opted for a bottle of water.

"Now…" he urged, sitting on one of the couches, surprised when she sat next to him rather than on the other one. "You ready?"

She nodded and chewed on her bottom lip momentarily.

"Uh oh… You're nervous. That's not a good sign," he laughed nervously, reaching up to tug on her lip with his thumb. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Look, first off, I know I've been doing a lot of this lately but I want to apologize for my behavior over the last couple of days. It's just… what happened really took me by surprise and I know that you only did what I apparently was begging you to do so I really have no right to be mad at you. And I appreciate you not taking further advantage of the situation."

"I'd never hurt you CJ." He reached out and pushed a stray hair behind her ear. He couldn't believe how little she'd changed over the years. Sitting there with her hair in a ponytail she looked exactly like she had when they were in high school. Still fresh faced and innocent.

Carmen took a deep breath and looked down at her hands. "I know you'd never hurt me on purpose, Elliott. But you have hurt me. You've hurt me so much that I couldn't breath and I couldn't feel anything but the emptiness that you left me with when you came out here to do this."

He looked away from her, unable to watch the tears that were forming in her eyes. He'd never been able to handle her tears.

"It took me so long to get over us. I waited and waited for you to come back for me, but you never did and when I heard you were engaged, I took that as my cue to move on with my life. I wasn't going to wait for you anymore. And I haven't. I know I don't love Frank but he's stable and he's there for me. Elliott, I've never stopped loving you. I know I never will. You were the first man that I ever loved and you've spoiled me for others. There's not enough room in my heart to love anyone else."

She reached over and brushed his damp hair out of his face, not surprised to see the wetness underneath his eyes. "Look, I don't blame you at all for what happened. I guess I knew all along if the opportunity arose that you'd take it. Racing has been a part of your life since as far back as I can remember and it wasn't right of me to try and get in the way of that. I was just so worried that you were going to get hurt, I guess I just pushed you away, … its why you left."

"No CJ… No. That's not why I left at all…" he turned towards her, surprised but happy when she allowed him to pull her into his embrace. "I left because I wanted to make things better for you. I knew I'd never make enough working for dad for us to have a decent life together but I knew racing would take care of that."

Carmen leaned back searching his eyes. "You…" she choked. She couldn't believe she was hearing this. "You left for me?… I don't understand Elliott… Why didn't you call me?"

Elliott released her and stood up, pacing the floor in front of her. He didn't want to tell her this, it was going to sound caddy but there was no way around it. "I did call you CJ."

She looked up at him through tear-filled eyes. "What?"

He turned away from her and gazed out the patio door. "I called the afternoon that Charlie went to pick you up at the airport."

"No, … no you didn't. There were no messages when we go back. You didn't call later, I was there."

He looked down at the ground. "I called before you had gotten home. Frank answered the phone. I told him where I was and gave him my number and told him to have you call me as soon as you got in."

"What?! Frank wasn't even there that day Elliott…" she yelled, angry that he'd drag Frank into this. "Charlie and mom were the only ones there besides me. I can't believe you're doing this…You just can't stand the fact that you screwed up and I've moved on."

He turned around suddenly just as angry as she was. "You haven't moved on! Don't you understand that!? That's why this is so hard for you… why you can't be around me. You haven't moved on. Hell you just told me you'd always love me."

"Well that was before I knew you were a lying asshole!" She quickly turned and started towards her room only to be stopped when Elliott grabbed her arm and swung her around and into his arms, not giving her a moment to catch her breath before his lips were on hers. The pressure of his mouth against hers cutting her teeth into her lip. She wrenched her mouth from his. "Let go of me…" she bit back through clenched teeth.

He looked at her though heavy eyes. "Oh hell no. That's never happening again."

Elliott scooped her into his arms and carried her quickly into his room, kicking the door closed behind him and gently setting her on the bed, before he crawled over her.

"Get off of me, Elliott…" she fought as he pinned her arms over her head with one hand and began to knead her breasts through her shirt.

He chuckled as her nipples hardened at his touch. "Don't fight it CJ. You know you want this as much as I do… your body's giving you away." Quickly unfastening her jeans with one hand he pushed them down her legs, quickly swiping his fingers over her heat to find her hot and wet.

She closed her eyes and lay there afraid if she looked at him, her eyes would betray her the same way her body already had. Her body was throbbing with heat and all she wanted at that moment was for him to fuck the life out of her. That was the only thing that was going to satiate her need.

Elliott's fingers skimmed beneath her shirt, quickly removing the flimsy material as well as her bra eager to feel her warm body pressed against his, his clothing following suit.

Suddenly they stilled, their naked bodies pressed against each other, Elliott's leg, between hers and his need pulsing heavily against her thigh.

He looked in her eyes and pressed a small kiss to her lips. "I love you CJ…"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth he thrust into her, smiling when a loud gasp escaped her lips and hungry moan soon followed. She wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him deeper and deeper inside of her as he held her hands and they gazed into each other's eyes. Neither brave enough to look away first.

Elliott's hands slid softly down her arms to her sides where he began to pepper kisses along her collarbone, knowing that he couldn't hold out much longer. She was just as tight as she'd been ten years ago and she fit him perfectly. This was how things were supposed to be.

He braced himself on his arms, watching her as he increased his pace and she matched him with every move.

"Fuck me Elliott…" she groaned. His body tightened, near release as the vulgar words escaped her lips. "Harder…"
She scraped her nails down her back and squeezed his behind urging him to go faster, her release just moments away. "Please… Oh yes, I'm so…cloooooOOHH!!!"

The moment her body tightened around him, he couldn't hold out any longer and shot into her, his thrusts deeper and slower as he emptied his seed.

She closed her eyes, a contented smile gracing her lips as he rolled off of her and pulled her to his side. "Now that…"

He chuckled as she couldn't manage to get her words out. "That what…"

"Oh nevermind…" she snuggled against him and kissed his shoulder. "I love you."

Elliott lightly scratched her back as she fell asleep, his body too wired to do the same. He couldn't believe what had just happened. He'd just managed to fuck things up even more.

-next-