| It's My Party by Michelle |
| It was times like this that Buffy truly understood the meaning of the phrase, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." She knew her friends meant well, but that was usually the problem. They had meant to help when they brought her back to life, but had instead introduced her to hell. Now, as Buffy was searching for a sliver of the peace she had known during her afterlife, they decided she needed help adjusting to being alive again. What she needed, Willow said, was to be around people, and everyone else agreed. And since her birthday was coming up, they decided to throw her a party. It didn't matter that the last time they felt she should be around people she had almost run away for a second time. It didn't matter that she was looking forward to having a nice, quiet day to herself. It didn't even matter that she didn't want to celebrate her birthday. They felt it was what she needed and swept her away in a wave of good intent. The only person who was listening to her was Spike. He tried to help Buffy convince the Slayerettes to drop it and let her do her own thing. When that didn't work, he threatened to kidnap her if they went through with the party. They merely laughed and told him Buffy would kick his ass if he tried. It scared her that Spike was her ally and attempted savior. It scared her even more that she didn't mind his attention or efforts. And when she was really honest with herself, she was scared that she craved his company more then the company of her friends. He was becoming a kindred spirit, and Buffy knew where something like that would lead. It had happened with Angel, and if she wasn't careful it would happen with Spike, too. Buffy woke up on her birthday with an overwhelming sense of dread and apprehension. She could smell scrambled eggs and hear Dawn and Tara laughing in the kitchen. Willow was taking a shower, singing a song Buffy didn't recognize slightly off-key. They were the sounds and smells of normalcy, of regular families doing regular things on a regular day. Added with her anxiety, it made her sick to her stomach. After she was dressed she went downstairs to the kitchen, where Dawn and Tara were filling four plates with scrambled eggs, pancakes, sausage, and bacon. Dawn looked up as Buffy entered the room and smiled. "Happy birthday, Buffy!" she exclaimed, giving her sister a big hug. When she pulled away, Dawn pointed to the food on the kitchen island. "I know you don't usually eat breakfast, but we figured you would want some today." Buffy gave Dawn the best smile she could. "You figured right," she said, even though she felt like throwing up. "Breakfast is just what I need." Willow entered the kitchen, looking fresh and awake, and they all sat down. The three of them talked about the party later that night, while Buffy tried to eat and inserted comments at the right times, looking up occasionally to feign interest. Then Dawn left for school, followed by Willow and Tara, leaving Buffy alone. She spent part of the day looking at pictures of past birthdays and trying to pull excitement from her memories. She wanted to feel something other then dread and emptiness, but nothing would come out of her memories to help her. The rest of the time before Dawn got out of school went to tidying the house and cleaning up from breakfast. Once everyone was finished with school or work they returned to the house to set up for the party, and before Buffy knew it people were arriving. Most of them were people she didn't know, friends of Tara and Willow's from college or guys from Xander's construction site. A few of Dawn's friends were also there so she wouldn't feel left out. The only good thing about the party Buffy could see was that there wasn't a live band like last time. After an hour she managed to escape outside to her back porch. She looked into the bushes and trees behind her house and contemplated making a run for it. It wasn't all that far and she could be long gone before anyone noticed she was missing. But when she returned, her friends would look at her with hurt and confusion in their eyes, and that was worse then the party. The plants to her left started to move, causing Buffy's heart to pound in anticipation. She knew it was Spike before he even stepped out of the foliage. He walked toward her and she shifted on the step so he could sit down next to her. After a moment of silence he looked at her, then the closed back door of the house. "How'd you manage to escape?" he asked. "Dawn's upstairs with her friends and everyone else is dancing, so it wasn't that hard," she replied, looking at him. "I don't suppose you're here to kidnap me." "Only if you promise not to kick my ass, pet." She smiled, and it was small but real. "Considering all the annoying things you do, I can't make that promise." "Looks like we're stuck here, then." She noticed how he said "we" and a part of her jumped for joy while another part twisted in revulsion. "So, what'd the brat pack get you?" "I was told I would get my presents after the party," Buffy said, leaning to rest against the railing. "I think it's a bribe to make sure I don't go anywhere." Spike shook his head as he pulled out his pack of cigarettes. "Nah, too crafty, though I wouldn't put it past Red." He lit a cigarette and took a deep drag, letting out a stream of smoke. "Don't think it would work, anyway, not if you really wanted to get out of here." She nodded. "I couldn't do that to them, not after they went to all this trouble." "Even though it was trouble you didn't want." There was nothing she could say to that, so they sat in silence for several more minutes. Closing her eyes, Buffy felt peace for the first time since she had been pulled back into the world. And she marveled at the fact that Spike was the one to give her that peace. "I got you somethin'," he said suddenly. He reached his free hand into his duster and pulled out a small box, rapped in gold paper. Uncertain, he set it on the step between them. "You can open it up now, later, or never, I don't care." But he did care; she could hear it in his voice and see it in the violent exhalation of smoke. She reached out and picked up the box, holding it in both hands; it didn't weigh much at all. She pulled off the paper to find it was a box of Godiva chocolates. "Didn't know what you wanted, so I figured chocolate was a safe bet," he explained when she remained silent. "It's perfect," she said. "Simple but good. Thank you." He looked down at his cigarette. "It was nothin'." If he could blush, he would have been bright red. Buffy was oddly touched that she had made him embarrassed. She reached over and covered his free hand with hers. "I meant it, Spike. Thank you." And then she kissed him. It was a very light kiss. Their lips brushed together like feathers, but it was still a kiss. She sat back and looked at him, smiling slightly at the dazed expression on his face. "If I had known chocolates would win you over, I'd have bought you a whole store," he finally said. "It was more then the chocolates." "I know." He leaned in and kissed her, just as lightly as her kiss was. Then they sat in silence on her porch, his hand in hers, long into the night. Back to the archive |