WARNING - These random tales were made at my friend's house. They are unlike my usual work, and have no maturity whatsoever. Also, they are extremely innapropriate and horribly written. So, one last time, I warn you, turn back if you are a politically correct person and/or you enjoy justin timberlake or britney spears. And...Richard Simmons. I rate the JT Anthology R for course language, and extreme sexual content.
Me = Jason
Friend = John
Ok, I'll quit rambling and let you guys get offended!!!
John-
Jason is a hermaphrodite. His penis is small and grows out of his plump vagina. He likes to rub his mamma�s mayonnaise on it and get someone to lick it off. His mom is very good at making mayo, for it is her line of work. The mayo is so good, people have puked out their own livers to taste it on a cracker. Oh, yeah. Jason is a cracker too. He is like � I hate dim negra�s! Dey be trippin all up in here. MOFO!! YOU LIKE ME DON CHA!! DON CHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME!! DON CHA? NEGGRA!!!!!� He is a pansy tit too.
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Jason
Once there was a hooka�. Then she got pregnant. People walked around and called her �preggers� 24/7. It pissed her right off! So she stabbed a knife repeatedly into her abdomen in hopes that she would destroy the little bitch growing inside her. But to no avail. So when she had the baby, it was NO surprise that it came out cracka white. But, she had a deep love for black men. So the least she could do was give him a black name. She named him Ty�Rel. After a black man she had passionately screwed the previous night. So, that is the ballad of Ty�Rel Etchison.
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John
There once was a boy. His name was bob. His breast was way to large for a male, so everyone called him �BOBETTE�. His face was also feminine. One time this, like, super sexy guy asked him out! Like oh my gosh! He said yes! So they went into the locker room after everyone was gone. The super sexy guy, Fll, started to squeeze bobettes titties. He was like � the reason I like you is because your hot rack. It makes my skinny dick hard and my small sensitive balls dry. I want to put it in your sink!� So he pulled down bobs trousers and saw he had man underwear. �That�s hot!� he said. Then he took then off and saw big old Mr. Konish. �That�s not!� He vomited. But then he thought about it. � Your cock is much larger than mine. I would be nice to put it in my mouth.� So he did. The suck that cock all night long! And Bob loved it! In fact, he liked it so much, they got married! And the butt fucked every night intill Fll couldn�t get it up any move. So he got Viagra. The they butt fucked every night in till Fll�s dick fell off! So then bob butt fucked Fll every night un till Bob was tragically killed my Richard Simons at the super bowl! BUM BUM BUM!! Then Fll watched their sex tapes in till he died. Then there were mayonnaise. Lots of then. Mayonnaise. The end.
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Jason
The jeans. Oh god, the jeans. They turned him on SO much. God. It made his dick wet just thinking about Justin Timberlake in those jeans. One night he called up Justin Timberlake out of desperation. To Snickerdoodle�s surprise, Justin immediately said to him � your voice sounds SO hot, I just want to stick my fat, hot, slippery, throbbing, big, huge, immense, round, fat, veiny cock into your mouth EVERY night.�
Snickerdoodle was aroused by this immediately, so he went over to Justin timberlake�s house and they had a �rousing� good time, if you know what I mean. *wink* Here are the events that took place :
Snickerdoodle knocked on the door. As soon as Justin answered, he threw his naked bod into his arms and began to hump him in random places. Justin pushed him off. �Whoa, hold off there buddy. Let me get my duds off and then we can have all the fun we want.� And they did. Justin put on some country music, �I�m a Redneck Woman� and they got it ON. Justin pushed his cock past Snickerdoodles resisting lips time and time again. And they screamed. And screamed. And finally, Snickerdoodle shoved a large croissant into Justin�s anus. This caused Justin�s spinal cord to rupture, and he died instantly. But Snickerdoodle continued to shove random objects and his cock into Justin�s anus. And then Justin rotted. But Snick� just kept on doin him till he died of sleep deprivation. The End.
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John
There once was this like MOFO bitch. Yeah. No, that sucks. Wait�����Okay. There once was this girl. Her name was, like, Britney Spears. So, yeah. She was like a virgin. Well, she WAS in till freekin Justin weaseled his penis into her, like, um���..Thing between her legs����that one thing, you know. Its like pink and (unzips pants) and wet (puts hand down pants and starts moving hand up an down) and juicy! And sweet! And sour! And Sometime hairy! And , And�..OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!��������Yeah. I think its called like a cajina or something. Anyways, that bitch Justin ( As mentioned earlier) got his cock all up in there. Man, she was pretty good looking too. And that ass!�..(puts hand in pants) It�s so round! And plump! And full of Justin�s seamen! ��.. (vomits, takes hand out) any ways, then she was like � I FUCKED JUSTIN!!!! I LOVE HIM!!� then they break up. Yeah. She was pretty good looking too. And that ass! Oh wait. I said that didn�t I? Okay anyways, then came that one guy. But back to the Timberlake fellow. He was like � After I had you in the butt you got old. I�m cheating on you for Chris (only N�SYNC fans such as me would know who im talking about) His pee pee is much larger than yours!� Yeah. He is an ass. Half the guys in the world would bite off there dick to screw Britney! Even though that kind of deafeats the purpose, they would still do it. Yeah. Then there was that one guy. He was an ass to cause he gave up Britney. Then some other ppl, blah blah, blah. By the way, did you know she made a song about mastrabation!? I know, hot right?! I WANNA SEE THAT VIDEO!!! Hehehe!! Any ways, then there was fetter line. Cant remember his first name. Anyways, she like walked around bare foot with him! OMG!! He is like a �bad boy�. Please, I could take his candy ass. I takes a real man to take care of a woman like that. I don�t need to act like im all big and bad to confinsate for having a small peeny. Colin Ferrel? Tiny balls. Anyways, they are married, and they fuck probably. What ever. I like britney spears songs. Speacially that one about mastribation!! If you know what I mean!! TOTALLY!! Quote from song: � I�ll do it with a HOT DOG. Do it with BANANNA!! I�ll do it to Justin MOWIN! What ever will git my juices FLOWIN!� Yeah. Gay lyrics, but still sexy. Yeah. I just wrote like a novel about britney spears. Sad. I hardly know any thing about her. Well actually, there was this on time�(Computer blows up and kills the guy that is typing)
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Jason
�Don�t know how to act, she�s workin� that back, slow motion fo me! Slow motion fo me!� Justin Timberlake couldn�t get that song out of his head. It made him real horny. Finally, he couldn�t stand it anymore. He was having a party, so he got up on stage and he was like, �Like, I gotta like, go, like, to the, like, bathroom!� and everyone was cool with that. So he went to the bathroom and looked around frantically for a good lubricant. It was a girl�s house, and she wasn�t into masturbating so she didn�t have any �real� lubricant. But he spotted some Herbal Essences intensive care lotion. The warning said: This is real strong lotion. Don�t let it come into contact with skin� But Justin was too busy being horny to read the warning. So he quickly pumped a few squirts into his hand and made sure his whole hand was lathered up, including the skin between the forefinger and the thumb (because it needs to be really slick there, so the cock can slide through smoothly) and hopped on the toilet with his pants down and began pumping like mad. A few seconds later an intense pleasure crept up his body. He went kind of numb and started twitching, as many do when they masturbate. The clear cum began to ooze out of the tip of his cock. With one final, powerful pump, the sperm shot out and landed on the floor near him. He got down on his hands and knees and began frantically licking up the clear, gooey liquid. Then, being the flexible person he was, he got down on his hands and knees and began to suck his own cock, pushing it in past his lips and into his mouth time and time again. It pulsated with sperm, and soon his whole mouth was full of it and he had it all over his face. At this time, Britney spear�s walked in. (It was her party) and gasped. Then she made a low growling sound and took off her pants. She shoved Justin�s face into her pussy, where he began to lick frantically. Soon each of their mouths was full with the others� sperm, and they began to make out passionately. Then the lotion that Justin used took effect and his dick fell off. The end.
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John
There once was a very hot girl. She was very hot and very a girl. She was also nice and funny, and wasn�t a whore, and didn�t sleep with everyone. She was also a virgin and stuff. One day she was like so hot and stuff she got on TV. She was miss Idaho. Justin Timberlake happened to be eating at CC�s pizza and look over at the TV. He saw the hot chick on the screen. He was like � I need to have sex with her! She is pretty hot!� So that night he went to Idaho in his private jet and when into her bedroom while she was asleep. He slowly pulled the blanket off of her (so she wouldn�t wake) and put his hand down between her legs. �By the firm texture of he vagina, id judge she was a virgin! Awsome! Fresh meat!� So he took off all his clothes exept his panties and stood there, so hot he couldn�t think strait. Should I lick her bell first? Her thought . Or should I just dive in? Then the girl woke up. She couldn�t tell it was Justin Timberlake. She thought it was her dad. � Dad,� she said � I told you I don�t want to have sex with you.� Justin decided to play along. � Oh.� he said. �I�ve told you like 20 times. The only reason I suck your penis was because we were stranded out in the desert and I was thirsty. Oh, and I only did fingered your butt hole that one tie because you couldn�t poop right. Yes, and that other time too. I only played with your nipples because you said they itched!� Justin was in awe. � Um. Have I asked you to have sex with me before?� said Justin. � Dad!,� she retorted � Don�t play dumb you try to get me in bed every night! And I tell you time and time again I can�t do that! I don�t believe in sex before marriage! When that old bat mom dies ill think about it! I know you�re my dad, but it did make me super horny when I sucked your large meat!� �Um,� said Justin. �And besides,� she interrupted � I told you I don�t like guys. I like women!� �But you said you like my large meat?� �you got me. I�m by.� �okay� �yeah, I like both puss and worm.� Then Justin couldn�t take it anymore. He Jumped on top of her and rammed it in her hole ( the one in the front) and pumped. She screamed. She screamed a scream that you couldn�t imagine. I scream like she had wanted her dad for a very long time. After Justin emptyed his balls he said � I think I should be going. I need to catch a plane, I mean, take a dump.� He walked towards the door. Then the girl droped her panties on the floor. � Opps!� She said as she turned on the lamp. � O Mah God!! Your not my dad!!� Justin turned around � Oh my God!! Your not that hot chick!� Justin found him self peering in to the eyes of non other that Richard Simons. Justin had not only had his way with a man, he had had his way with a hermaphrodite! Justin screamed and jumped out the window and plumited 5 stories to his death. His blood splashed the garage door and stained the front of Richards car. His guts and bones and organs were scattered all over the yard. Justin was dead. Forever. He would never be written about again. Ever. THE END.
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Jason
Okay, the guy behind me lied. There�s going to be one more story about Justin then he�s gone for good. Maybe. Probably not, but still. Here goes:
THE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE ANTHOLOGY - RESSURECTION
People crowded around Justin Timberlake�s crushed, yet really hot, body.
�Oh god,� one woman moaned, �I want to fuck him so bad!� She then came down on Justin Timberlake�s lifeless corpse and rode him like sea biscuit for several lust-filled minutes. Unknown to her, her juices contained a special chemical that brought people back from the dead. So when she was satisfied, she got up, put her pants back on, and walked off.
TWO HOURS LATER
Justin Timberlake�s body was now at the N.Y. Morgue getting ready to get an autopsy. He moaned. His dick was swelled to a humongous size and it hurt pretty bad. The coroner widened her eyes in terror, then narrowed them in lust. She then violently raped Justin. After this Justin was fully recovered, and he got up and walked off.
Bob Dole. He set his sites on him as he walked down the sidewalk. Justin came up beside him and shoved him off the street into the alleyway. He then began to violently rip their clothes off, and shoved bob dole�s hot, throbbing dick into his mouth, and deep throated it and stuff. The end. Oh yeah. The lady like masturbated with his cock cause Justin was in pieces. His body reformed. And he also stole bob doles hair and glued it to his face. W0rd and stuff.
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John
This is the ballad. Not a Ballad. The Ballad. The Ballad of Poof Daddy. You know why? Cause Poof Daddy is the pimp, yah. One time Poof was out side. He was watering his lawn. He was drinking some soda water and stuff. So naturally, he had to pees. He had to pees real bad!!! LIKE MOTHER FUCKING BAD, SON! So, since it�s the 21 century, he thought he would multi task. He like got on the roof and pissed on his lawn so he would water it and go pee pee at the same time. At that exact time the mail man walked by. He got peed on. So, he was mad. He look up at poof. Poof looked at him. The mail man�s face was covered in hair. He was really scary. The mail man like jumped really high in the air and landed on the roof. The fight for an hour or so and the Poof has to pee again so he gets out his shlong and pees. This makes the MM made so he bites off his dick!!
When the mail man is bending down, his shirt and hair on his face fall off!! Of course you think its JT, but its not. It is a creepy little man with a shirt that says � I heart JT�. He is non other than Richard simons!! Then he jumps off the roof and dies. Then poof picks up his severed cock and sews it back on. He can�t pee or have sex any more. He has a bladder problem so this sucks. So he jumps off the roof and dies too. THE END.
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