November Rain Title: November Rain Author: blackrose Summary: Duo is going to do something very irriversible Rating: NC-17 Warnings: angst, blood, tissue warning, shounen-ai Pairings: 2+1 Additional Info: songfic, //denotes lyrics//, *denotes thought* Status: Finished Feedback: Please [eternal_blackrose@yahoo.com] Duo looked out of the window, his breath clouding the glass panes. The rain pattered softly but steadily against the window. Outside, the sky was gray and the water pelted down on the trees. The earth itself seemed to be shivering, the angels in the sky crying an endless stream of tears. //When I look into your eyes, I can see a love restrained Darling when I hold you, don’t you know I feel the same// Duo sighed, shifting his sad gaze up to the skies. No ray of light could shine through the dense dark clouds. Warmth and happiness were miles away. //Nothing lasts for ever, and we both know hearts can change// *Wonder where he is.* He brushed away from his pale face an errand strand of hair and moved towards the fireplace. He sank to his knees on the soft lush fur carpet and hugged himself. The merry flames crackled away, and yet, nothing seemed to warm him. //Its hard to hold a candle, in this cold November rain// One crystal tear made its way down his cheek. His heart clenched painfully and his breath was caught in his breast. Mind numbing pain seared through his heart as cried out softy… “Heero...” //We’ve been through this such a long long time, just trying to kill the pain// He reached out behind his back and untied his braid. He shook the thick mane free and let the long curls encase him in their protective embrace. He muttered his lover’s name over and over again like a mantra, as if it would protect him from the pain. //Lovers are always coming, lovers are always going No one’s really sure who’s letting go today Walking away// It had been so hard, so hard to let go. But after all, he had loved him too much to keep him against his wishes. Duo shuddered and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He looked haggard, weary and emotionally exhausted. His big violet eyes were void of any emotion. For it was always when he was finally alone, that he dropped the joker’s façade, to reveal the empty cankered shell he had become. The shell he had become after Heero had walked away. //All I can do is lay down my head knowing that at least you once were mine// The pain was eating away at him from the inside. And the more time passed, the worse he had begun to feel. The longhaired boy fumbled with his trousers’ pocket and took out a small object. The firelight flickered on the steel blade. A red crust marred the blade’s sharp edge. Duo flicked the dried blood away with his fingernails. He surveyed the blade attentively, turning the object around slowly in his hand. //If you want to love me Then darling don’t refrain// Duo turned his attention to his left arm, and proceeded to unbutton the cuff and roll up the sleeve slowly to his elbow. Each centimeter of skin he uncovered was covered in scars…pinkish white angry flesh that had been cut over and over again. Some were more recent than others. A pretty nasty one started from his elbow, half way down to his hand. It hadn’t healed yet. //Its hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain// Duo inspected his wrist. Without a second thought, he placed the cold steel against it. The bitter blade bit at the skin. He felt no pain. His mind was numb. The gash grew larger as he drove the blade deeper and further across his wrist. //Nothing remains Nothing but the pain// The life giving blood poured forth from his wrist. Duo looked straight into the flames. “No more pain…no more,” he muttered softly. His eyes started misting over as he got weaker and weaker. He moved to lie down on the carpet. A warmth spread throughout his weak body. Blood was all over him. His beautiful hair was spread around him like a halo. An angel. The angel of death. Someone was shaking him. Someone was talking to him. The voice was so far away…the beautiful and peaceful embrace of darkness was within reach. His heart beat softly at a sad staccato. Opening his eyes one last time, the violet orbs met twin blue oceans. Then the darkness. //Nothing lasts for ever Not even cold November rain// Heero screamed as he held a dying Duo in his eyes. The one last look he got out of his lover was one of utter love and forgiveness. Duo’s scent was invading Heero’s senses…his mind…his soul. His lover’s blood coated his arms and chest. It burnt him straight to the core. He screamed. "Duo. Duo. Whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy?" The rain pattered more softly against the window-panes. The clouds thinned out and a single ray of light streamed steadily down onto the drowned world. ::Owari::