::Memories::


Title:  Memories
Author:  blackrose
Summary:  Someone is remembering
Rating:   NC-17
Warnings:  angst, blood, tissue warning, shounen-ai
Pairings:  2+1
Additional Info:  POV fic, ***denote beginning and end of memory flashback***
Status:  Finished
Feedback:  Yes please [eternal_blackrose@yahoo.com]


I made my way slowly downstairs, carefully placing my feet on each marble step.  Didn't bother
with the lights.  Who needs the light?  Its not as if I don't know the way round my own place.
Its not that there's anyone else in the house.

I paced softly to the kitchen in pitch darkenss, unconsiously avoiding the pieces of furniture in the corridor.  
I went through the always open doorway and turned left, groping around for the refrigirator's door
handle. Once found, I pulled the door open.  The dim light of the refrigerator bulb lit the interior,
enabling me to look for possible sustenance.  Several cans of beer stood cluttered on the various shelves
amongst some sorry looking vegetables and a stale loaf of bread.  I sniffed at a pizza left over and 
turned up my nose, disgusted.
I moved the stale loaf to the side, peering behind it.  
A small glass bowl, half filled with ripe red strawberries looked promising enough amongst the 
otherwise unedible occupants of the fridge.  
I looked for a cream spray can I knew I had, and found it buried underneath what had been a lettuce.  
I took up the can in my hand.  
It was unopened.

*"Remember to buy the cream koi.  I want to devour you when I get back."
Smile.
"I won't forget.  Get your ass to work now."
"Love you too."
Chuckle.*

I took out the glass bowl containing the ripe red fruits as well as the can.  
I nudged the door of the refrigirator shut with one sway of my hips and moved slowly towards 
where I thought stood the table.  I bumped into the said object with my tighs and placed the bowl
and can on it.  I reflected for a moment, then decided that a little light would not hurt at all.
I mechanically reached behind me to touch the wall and groped around till I found the switch.
One flick and the kitchen was flooded with a soft yellow light.  I picked up the can of cream,
shook it vigorously, twisted off the seal, and sprayed a generous amount of cream on the fruit.  
I selected one plump strawberry, thoroughly coated with cream and placed it slowly in my mouth.
  
The sugar was the first taste to hit my senses, then the fullness of the cream and the unmistakable
tange of the strawberry.  I bit into the fruit, its juice flooding my mouth.  The sensation
was overwhelming.  The fruit had all the flavour a strawberry in its perfection should have;
that hint of sour citric acid blending perfectly with the sweetness of the cream.
Memories hit my senses.
The taste of the strawberry was just to much.

I started choking, pushing back the revolting feeling in my stomach.
The strawberry worked upon my senses.
*He tasted like strawberries.*
The cream was so smooth.
*His skin was perfect.*
I doubled over in pain.
*Flawless, flawless.*
The light, the light.  Turn it off, quick.

Make way to the bathroom.
I rushed into the bathroom, blindly, reaching out with my hands in front of me.  I smacked my
elbow hard against a cold surface, but I was too numb to care about the physical pain.  
I tripped over a rug and fell to my knees, hitting the ceramic toilet seat with my forhead.  
I reached out and lifted the toilet seat, just in time for me to throw up.
Threw up what was left of the strawberry and cream.
Threw up the alcohol and acid I had in the pit of my stomach.
Threw up the coagulated blood that accumulated continuously from the lacerations in my throat.
I dry heaved again, spluttering into the toilet, my chest heaving, my breath ragged.

I gathered myself up and flushed the toilet.
What little strength I had, I used to make my way towards the sink.  I ran the icy cold water 
over my hands and splashed it over my face.  I gazed in front of me towards where the mirror
would be hanging.  I thanked the darkness...thanked it for not letting me see my own refelction.
I felt like shit, and probably looked even worse.
The mirror.
The mirror.

*"Look into the mirror love.  What do you see?"
"I see you, holding me, making love to me.  You are so beautiful...so beautiful it hurts."
"Wrong."
"Why love?"
"You are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me..."
"Please lover, don't tease."
"I want to hear you scream my name."*

"Noooooooooooooooooooooo!"  I screamed.
I punched the mirror, hard.
My arm recoiled with the impact and the pain.  I was showered with the shards.  My hand felt wet.
Brought it too my lips.  The unmistakable coppery taste of blood.
I trust it visiously underneath the still running water and hissed in pain.
Pain.
Pain.
It makes the memories go away.

But the memories sufraced back, no matter how hard I tried to push them down.  I collapsed onto
the floor, bracing myself.  The worse was yet to come.

*Two lovers collapsed onto the soft carpet of the bathroom.  The long haired one was glistening
with crystal drops of water, evidence that he had been washing.  The taller one devoured him
with his eyes.
"You are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me..."
Mouths met and lips clashed.  Tongues battled in a duel none would win.  
Hands roamed over skin, one pale like ivory and the other like a bronzed sculpted god.*

I clutched my head.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo, please don't. Go away, go away go away go away..."
The pain came crashing like a freight train.
It started at the heart and spread through like wildfire, into all of my blood vassels, burning
its way mercilessly into my very core.

*The cobalt eyed lover laid his long haired partner onto the soft lush carpet.  
He lowered down his head and nibbled at the other's throat.  Violet eyes fluttered and a moan 
escaped Duo's lips.
"Please lover, don't tease."
Heero did not stop his assult on Duo 's skin, and proceeded to licka dn bite hsi way down the 
still moist ivory skin.  
He inhaled the scent that was uniquely Duo's...peaches.  Fresh juicy peaches.  
Duo smelled like peaches and vanilla, laughter and the sun.  
Heero groaned as the scent inflamed his senses, his organ throbbing with need.
Duo wove his fingers in hsi lover's messy hair and pulled him up for another searing kiss.  
Heero's tongue rimmed his lips and Duo complied, opening his lips, admitting Heero into his moist cavern.
Heero tore his mouth from the beauty lying beneath him.
"I want to hear you scream my name."
And with that, Heero brought two fingers to his mouth ucked on them momentarily, 
eliciting another groan from Duo, and then proceeded to insert first one, then the other 
into his lover's tight passage, preparing him.
"Need you...now!"  Duo panted.
Reagrding him ready enough, Heero positioned him at the entrance, and impaled him in one swift movement.
He lowered himself onto Duo and breathed into his ear.
"Look into the mirror."*

"Heero noooooooooooooooooooo."
I wailed while rocking myself on my heels.  The memories were just too much.  
Too vivid.  
I wanted to drown.  
I wanted to die.
I raked my nails over the carpet.
The same carpet.

*Duo held fast to the carpet, eyes locked into the mirror, riding on the peak with Heero's 
constant plunging into him, the senses hightened by watching their same love seen refected
on the bathroom mirror.
He screamed once, his seed covering his chest.
Watching the celestial look of pleasure on his lover's face was too much for Heero, and with 
one final powerful thrust, he emptied himself into his lover, joining him in a sublime heaven with 
one cry on his lips.
"Love you."*

"Love you, love you, love you, love you," I sobbed, declaring my feelings over and over again 
like a mantra for protection.  My heart felt as if it was going to break yet again.  My cheeks 
burned as the salty tears made their way fearlessly down my cheeks.  My soul wailed.
And yet I embraced the memories.
For memories is all I have left.
Just memories.
Memories.


::Owari::