As I sit in the lonely room A confused and trapped abandoned soul Tryin so hard to capture a moment But tonight I don't really know With a pen as my mediator And this bottle as my only friend I count the falling tears as they fall before my eyes Estranged am I Talking to myself when nobody's home While this bottle of vodka's still lodged in my head I'm edging and creeping to get myself out of bed As I turn the page to carry on the epic tales of life I'm still stuck in the words of the last chapter I guess everyone has something they never wanted to leave behind And sometimes it's the one regret that grows with the passing of time Each night as I go to bed I keep thinking about love The truth and what you mean to me And the truth is I never wanted the stars I never shot for the moon I like them right where they are All I ever wanted was you Now I look in the mirror And all I see Is a yound old man With only a dream I keep trying to figure out How , when , where and why love keeps going away Trying so hard to demolish every thought of you But the thing is I keep hearing you talkin softly It seems I can't escape the ghost of you It just makes me so mad cause I wanted it bad for us baby And now it's so sad that whatever little we had Sometimes feel like it just ain't worth savin Since the last time I saw you I've been wishing for one more day or one more night with you Just one more chance to see your face under the moonlight And now that you're gone , I can't cry hard enough Nor can I find the words to say That I still think about you each day Last night with a tightly clenched fist I gently french kissed the night as I lay myself to sleep in this bed alone That night the craziest dream crept it's way into my sub-concious I was being granted a wish for anything I didn't ask for diamonds or gold Cause i kept thinking of how much I wanted you to hold I didn't ask for a covergirl from California or Malibu All I asked was for one more day with you Just one sunset to get lost in your eyes Or just one night to run my fingers through your hair To embrace your lips and hold you near But then again all that would do Is make me wish for one more day with you All of this is just a dream within a dream For I have looked beyond the horizions of my mind And another day of being with you can't be seen Maybe when the snow comes down in June Or maybe if ever the sun orbits the moon Might be the next time I see you Somehow those sweet words you whispered didn't mean a thing I guess our song was over before we began to sing My life is an enigma in which no one can decipher But somehow your shimmering light traveled to depths of the dark abyss of my heart And encrypted into it , memories that time just won't fade Now you've left me And I have nothing , not even a photograph I should've seen it when the roses died I should've seen the end of my summer in your eyes Should've known when you said see yah around You really meant goodbye Now this candle I hold is flickering to out But extinguishing it's flame is filled with doubt Wondering if to keep my love lit and shining bright It's a painful battle , it's a painful fight Sometimes moving on can feel so wrong Because sometimes when you truly love you have to hold on But sometimes to truly love , you have to let go and let be For knowing you are happy where you are Means the world to me Now I must finish battling my inner demons The ones that let me hold on to something that is not Now as my broken heart lies bleeding I realise true love is suicide I'm going to have to make it throuhg With or without you Now as I turn away and close my eyes Cause I can't face the truth staring at me As I leave without a prayer or a hope for a kiss goodbye I whisper in a silent sigh I never wanted it to die by Emile Joseph |
| Estranged |
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