Social Instinctual Subtypes fitting me
Type One. Inadaptability/inflexibility
In the social domain, you channel your rightness and associated tension and anger into correct positions. You have standards, codes, positions that you must adhere to, voice, fight for. You make the system better, right according to absolute standards. Where these are concerned, you are inadaptable or inflexible so evidence contrary to your fervent position gets screened out. You not only find what is wrong with other groups, causes, convictions, but also of necessity you take exception to what is wrong about your own group. There is one right way and you must support it. You are temporarily comfortable with a secure social role and clear set of rules. And you naturally first resent and then are driven to correct "deviance" from what the correct standards are. At your worst, you can become possessed by righteous anger and dominated by black-white thinking characterized by an inability to see differing viewpoints.
Type Four. Shame/counter-shame
In the social domain you can easily feel shame. You feel that your protective cover is removed and that your defects, deficiencies, shortcomings will be exposed publicly in the social situation. You don't measure up; you may feel yourself to be a misfit. Shame makes you want to hide your defects, cover up your deficiencies, keep your fatal flaws from being detected, avoid disgrace. Still, shame serves to make you feel or keep a connection to others: "They notice me and my deficiencies and it matters to them." This makes you count; it tells you that you matter in the eyes of others, "I'm not a nobody-nothing." And shame motivates you to do better -- create an elegant image, produce pride of elitism, look unique and special -- in short develop counter-shame. You may become an emotional truth teller in the group. In these ways envy is channeled. But, at your worst, shame can lead to retraction into self-absorption, depression, and even despair.
Type Five. Totems
We all need to belong, manifest our social instinct. As an Observer with avarice for knowledge, time, and energy this is no easy matter. You cleave to totems, the representation of things that a group shares, but one-step removed from ordinary involvement. You just need a role that buffers you from direct access. You find yourself attracted to groups that share special knowledge -- a field of study, a shared intellectual pursuit, systems. You have avarice for and affiliate with people or groups who influence culture, events, and seek greater knowing through the power of the mind. You align in the mental domain with leaders, movements, and systems where knowledge is valued and shared -- in history and philosophy groups, scientific and technical endeavors, and literary or art interests. Here you feel needed, comfortable, a part of things. You attempt to obtain sufficiency through knowledge that befits the group you share it with. At your worst, you substitute totems, whatever they might be, for heartfelt human contact, paradoxically isolating yourself from others.
Type Seven. Sacrifice
In the social area the gluttony for interesting ideas, plans, and projects and for stimulating experiences must get curbed or reigned in. Functioning in the group requires you, the Epicure, to sacrifice some of your own desires, limiting them for the higher social cause. By idealizing situations you can willingly postpone your own gratification and accept limitation in order to achieve group ideals or carry out a worthy endeavor with which you identify and enjoy. You participate with others who mirror your philosophy and interests. Often the hardest part of adhering to the norms and requirements of the group is dealing with the authority structure. You don't want to be told what to do or waste time in routine tasks. In this instance sacrifice acquires a martyr flavoring. You accept suffering for the sake of the larger cause, all the while imagining an idealized future that equalizes authority. And you feel good about the sacrifices you make for family and valued choices. At your worst, you get overbooked with a variety of social interests and activities making it difficult to commit.
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Type Four. Competition/hate
In one-to-one relationships envy and longing drive you to compete for the special position, partner, mentor. It's an invigorating energy. Through competition, "I'll show you, I'll get the connection I deserve." You use competition with others to overcome feelings of inner deficiency. You fight for what is noteworthy, exquisite, and elegant. This makes you a worthy somebody, "I'm deserving." You go for the very best. If necessary, you slam your imagined or actual opponents; a hateful streak can emerge. You compete not so much to win but not to lose. And your own sense of esteem tends to rise and fall in your comparing yourself with others. Rather than lose and fall into lacking and deficiency, you may reject the person or situation before you can be rejected. Better to abandon than be abandoned. In this way you combat the envy, control the situation, and keep your specialness. At your worst, you may end up destroying vital relationships, paradoxically trying to win the ultimate connection.
Type Five. Confidence
You, as an Observer, bond to special others by sharing confidential information, private knowledge, your energy and even feelings with these special others. These are the sacred, necessary relationships. In these relationships you don't have to hide or guard your boundaries. Your avarice shows. And you can still move back within yourself when you need replenishment and treasure the feelings and sharing in your mind and memory. Your boundaries of privacy are released in intense, often physical encounters where key disclosures are made and treasured for a "lifetime" when recreated in your imagination. And these shared confidences assuage the loneliness that can ensue from the more general isolation from feelings. You try to assure sufficiency through these special reliable resources. At your worst, the intense one-to-one sharing can operate like an on off switch to the dismay of special others.
Type Seven. Fascination/suggestible
When your upbeat energy and active imagination manifest themselves in the one-to-one relationship, you connect through finding what is fascinating and interesting to you. Your attention and energy go to what in the other sparks your interest and imagination. You feel magnetized to the person of interest and begin to idealize her. You find ways in which her story fits into your dreams. You are suggestible. You are likable and charming and disarming. Your "special" other can feel caught up in the rush of your ideas, plans, and possibilities. She basks in your energy. When you lose some interest in the relationship or the spark cools, someone else naturally catches your eye. You find a way out, not realizing you are breaking promises that, from your standpoint, you never really made. Or you stick with it, ironically finding ways through fascination and suggestibility to keep the vision of a positive future going, even when the situation may be disastrous. You just don't see the negatives. But at your worst, you can rationalize your way out of a seemingly committed relationship when it loses its thrill, seems confining, and ceases to be self-serving.
Type Eight. Possession/surrender
As a Protector, your passionate over-riding energy wants to possess your intimate relationships. You want to know everything about them -- mind, body, and soul. You want to be consulted in significant matters and protect them. You wouldn't call your control and impact domination, just your taking charge and caring for your special others who depend upon you, even to the point of being unable to adapt. Your vitality and verve infuse every molecule of your intimates. You can be highly physical. In business, verve and vitality take the form of commanding presence, relentless competition, and the power to do battle as necessary. Control struggles let you know what you can count on. Thus, possession and potency with others verifies your power, strength, and efficacy. When you have tested your intimates fettle and commitment, you can go to the polar opposite in your all or nothing style of attending -- to surrender of control, trusting that you won't be betrayed. But at your worst, your intense energetic focus can lead to dominating and controlling relationships with the "my way or the highway" approach to life - an outcome you actually deplore.
Type Nine. Union
In the one-to-one arena, comfort is sought through the special other. Your inertia is manifested through absorbing the other into yourself -- her point of view, her agenda, her feelings. You feel safe, whole in this union with her, or with nature or the divine. Your experience of being overlooked or disregarded evaporates as your identity merges into the other, nature, or the divine. You are swept along feeling, "I gain belonging, importance, love through union." Since there is a you inside, at your worst, you can get lost in the other and then become quit resistive, passive-aggressive, and even counter-merging all the while just not being present to yourself or the special other.