| Pagan Degrees Pecking Order Explained |
Wonder what all those *degrees* and *titles* are for? Here's your answer!
- High Priest: Leaps tall buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water and dictates policy to God.
- 3rd Degree Initiate: Leaps short buildings in a single bound, more poweful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water...if the sea is calm and talks to God.
- 2nd Degree Initiate: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds, is faster than a BB, more powerful than a railroad hand-car, walks on water in a swimming pool and talks to God... if a special request is approved.
- 1st Degree Initiate: Clears a small hut, loses the race with a locomotive, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well and is occasionally addressed by God.
- Neophyte: Runs into small buildings, recognizes a locomotive two out of three times, frequently wets self with a water pistol, can do the doggy paddle and mostly mumbles to animals.
- High Priestess: Lifts tall buildings to walk under them, kicks locomotives off the track, catches speeding bullets in her teeth and freezes water with a single glance. SHE *IS* GOD.
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