That Old Time Religion

  1. Gimme that real old time religion
    Gimme that real old time religion
    Gimme that real old time religion
    That's good enough for me!

  2. It was good enough for Granny
    She could throw a double-whammy
    That would knock you on your fanny
    And she's good enough for me!

  3. With the aid of my athame
    I can throw a "double-whammy"
    (And can slice and dice salami!)
    So it's good enough for me!

  4. There will be a lot of lovin'
    When we're meetin in our Coven
    Quit yer pushin and yer shovin'
    So there's room enough for me!

  5. Some folks worship all of Nature
    Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher
    They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher
    And they're good enough for me!

  6. Our High Priestess is a doll
    But she's fond of alcohol
    Carlo Rossi she'll extoll
    But she's good enough for me!

  7. Our Coven is a bunch
    But I have a sneaking hunch
    That their brains are out-to-lunch
    But they're good enough for me!

  8. Our Coven has a charter
    They recieved from some old farter
    And they gave him one in barter
    But it's good enough for me!

  9. Our Familiar is black
    With a white stripe down his back
    When his tail goes up, make tracks,
    'Cause it ain't perfumery!

  10. When the full Moon's in the sky
    And the witching hour is nigh
    Flying ointment we'll apply
    And that's very good for me!

  11. Our Bard is macrophonic
    And he thinks he's so harmonic
    But he's more like cacophonic
    And he plays a mile off-key!

  12. Outdoor skyclad is for weirdos
    Who forget about mosquitoes
    And they zap you like torpedos
    That ain't good enough for me!

  13. I inherited from Mommy
    I inherited from Mommy
    My big, black, switch-blade athame
    And it's ba-a-a-d enough for me!

  14. It was Gerald wrote the ditty
    And Al Crowley made it pretty
    Ain't traditional one bitty
    But it's good enough for me!

  15. We will follow Gerald Gardner
    In our faith he is our partner
    All that scourgin' makes it harder
    But it's good enough for me!

  16. It's those good old connotations
    Which make grow the Pagan nations
    Leading us to conjugations
    And that's good enough for me!

  17. Oh my grandpa prays to Suna
    And my grandma worships Luna
    They've disowned me, I'm Kahuna
    But that's good enough for me

  18. It's the fruit of all my training
    And it don't need no explaining
    Now if it would just stop raining
    It's good enough for me

  19. Rowan Moonstone is a beauty
    And Pattalee's a cutie
    Holy Moly! Rootie-tootie!
    And it's good enough for me!

  20. Let's go skyclad all together
    Dance the Circle round the heather
    Never mind the freezing weather
    And that's good enough for me!

  21. We will worship with the witches
    'Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches
    And they scratch us where it itches
    And that's good enough for me!

  22. We will gather at our saunas
    When the spirit comes upon us
    To perform the Rites of Faunus
    And that's good enough for me!

  23. Perfect love and perfect trust
    We shall rise up from the dust
    And become the upper crust
    And that's good enough for me!

  24. When the red-necks say we're sinning
    I don't care, 'cause we are winning
    And this is only the beginning
    And that's good enough for me!

  25. Our Witch-Queen has a tushie
    Which is big and wide and plushy
    Altars under her go sqooshy
    What e're the carpentry!

  26. Our First-Degree has curves
    That give all men the swerves
    It gets on the ladies' nerves
    But she's good enough for me!

  27. Always be polite to witches
    Always be polite to witches
    If you cross them they are bitches
    And they throw some nasty spells!

  28. Up the chimney, down the street
    Flying at ten thousand feet
    Hey, Pan Am, we gotcha beat
    And it's good enough for me!

  29. Our chalice holds six quart
    And our wine -- it sure ain't port!
    It's distilled in a retort
    But it'sh good enough f'me!

  30. Our rituals are diverse
    Every week a different curse
    Goddess! What if they reverse?
    It won't be good enough for me!

  31. We were told in Pagan class
    That leaping cauldrons is a gas
    But I got a roasted...pentacle
    And I can't sit down for tea!

  32. When a witch says "wackawacka"
    You must kiss her "smackasmacka"
    And recieve one "backabacka"
    And that's good enough for me!

  33. When I first became a pagan
    It was daring and outragin'
    Now my Circle's started agin'
    But they're good enough for me!

  34. We go skyclad for the Goddess
    So we wear no shirt or bodice
    And it isn't very modest
    But it's good enough for me!

  35. We will gather come the Lammas
    It is writ in Nostradamus
    We will take off our pyjamas
    We'll make merry, She'll be pleased!

  36. I'm full mooning evil spirits
    Throwing wild derriere fits
    And on me they can't lay their mitts
    'Cause my charm's protecting me!

  37. We will worship Frey and Freya
    Yao and Vesta, Lugh and Gaia
    Any more? Perun! and Maia!
    That's still not enough for me!

  38. We will jump the old bonfire
    Tho the flames are roaring higher
    If you miss you join the pyre
    And that's good enough for me!

  39. They say that Wicca makes you fertile
    As a horny little turtle
    And your glands they all will spurt'l
    And that's good enough for me!

  40. Oh my neighbor is a Buddhist
    And my roommate is Voodooist
    Me, I'm just a nudist!
    But that's good enough for me!

  41. If you think that you're a Bard
    Go and practice in the yard
    Annoy the neighbors till you're tarred
    And feathered, but don't mention me!

  42. When you go to California
    Pagans there'll jump upon ya
    Well don't say I didn't warn ya
    You heard it first from me.

  43. We will all join in with Wicca
    With the Goddess we will dickah
    We will argue, fight and bickah
    In a happy anarchy!

  44. Mother Nature doth attract us
    With her fascinatin' cactus
    Now Her plants have all attacked us!
    So I'll go and hug a tree!

  45. We will sing a verse for Loki
    He's the old Norse god of Chaos
    Which is why this verse don't rhyme or scan or nothin'
    But it's good enough for me...

  46. To Prometheus let us hark
    In bringing fire, he made his mark
    Or we'd be dancing in the dark
    And that's not good enough for me!

  47. I asked questions of the Sybil
    And she gave me back a riddle
    And she left me in a muddle
    But that's good enough for me!

  48. If you plan to court Medusa
    At her place in Syracusa
    Take a mirror; what's the use-a
    Getting stoned before your spree?

  49. We will all see Aphrodite
    Though she's pretty wild and flighty
    She will meet us in her nightie
    And she's good enough for me!

  50. We will frolic with old Bacchus
    We don't care if some folks mock us
    'Cause his rites are rather raucous
    And they're good enough for me!

  51. All the hunters start convergin'
    When Diana is emergin'
    It's too bad she's still a virgin
    But there's still hope left for me!

  52. Oh we will go and worship Pan,
    'Cause he just don't give a damn!
    Grab a woman or a man,
    And that's good enough for me!

  53. We've neglected Father Zeus
    Tho it seems a bit obtuse
    We think more of Mother Goose
    But he's good enough for me!

  54. Now there was this wizard, Merlin,
    Really kept the world a-twirlin'
    'Til he got mixed up in girlin'
    But he's good enough for me!

  55. In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome
    But he's not at home too often
    Spends all his time in Annwyfn
    And that's good enough for me!

  56. We will sing a verse for Rhiannon
    Who the Celts had had a handle on
    When she took their kilted men on
    And she's good enough for me!

  57. We all will worship Bridget
    'Cause She never will be frigit
    She takes giants, men and midgits
    And She's good enough for me!

  58. If you like aggressive women
    Morrigan with tricks is brimmin'
    Do you groove on S&M-in'?
    Then she's just the one for you!


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