THE GOD OF THE MONTH CLUB

 Nan....Isis....Blog....Grandmother-Spider....Jehovah....Bob....Lugh....
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 .              FRIENDS, "How do you stand with the Lord?"             .
 .                 "what do you mean, `which one?' ?!"                 .
 C   For those of you who are unsure about your current faith or       H
 o   belief system, we offer a viable alternative. We would like       u
 y   to introduce the newest breakthrough in contemporary religion     b
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 t                      THE GOD OF THE MONTH CLUB                      a
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 .   Included in this fantastic offer: Each month you will receive     d
 .   complete rituals of the current God &/or Goddess of the month     .
 A   including what (or whom) to sacrifice. (All monetary sacrifices   .
 l   should be sent to our Board of Directors.)                        H
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 a       Yes--we are looking for people who like to pray. READ ON.     c
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 .   Each monthly package will include: 1. A lavishly illustrated      t
 .   booklet of appropriate prayers and rituals. 2. Necessary tools    e
 M   and instructions for all prayers and rituals. 3. Where needed     .
 a   plastic injected graven images are also included.                 .
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 m   "But what will all this cost?"  Mere pennies! and we guarantee    h
 o   results!  Are you worried about tithing to the wrong faith?       a
 n   With God of the Month Club, you'll cover them all! Be in good     n
 .   with ALL deities! Any you can't manage for yourself--(for a small g
 .   extra fee) our certified and bonded professionals will do your    h
 B   praying for you. (if you should end up in Hell or some other      T
 r   such region, merely send us a postcard,[sorry, no channeling] and i
 i   we will cheerfully refund ALL of your money back.                 .
 g   REMEMBER: The God of the Month Club will bring variety to your    .
 i   life, Celibacy one month, Orgies the next...A chance to travel    D
 t   to sacred shrines...companionship with like-minded members...AND  a
 .   Free Deprogramming!!!!!                                           g
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 .                     DON'T DELAY! CALL TODAY!                        n
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 The Great Carrot....Cthulhu....Quetzalcoatl....Joseph Smith....Kali....
 

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