"Siren, where did you bring us?" I ask Siren, forcing my voice to be gentle. Still, the frustration seeps through into my tone. She told me that today we would be using the teleporting phone booth for something other than capturing Star Seeds.
"Only the best place on this entire backwater planet!!" Siren-chan nearly screams in my ear with excitement. She extends her arm to the display in front of me. "Welcome to ISLANDS OF ADVENTURE!!!!"
I can feel one of the biggest sweatdrops I've ever had in my life form on the back of my head.
She says this is what humans call a "theme park." It's basically where people go to scare themselves senseless with mindbendingly outlandish devices only evil masterminds could create (no offense to Galaxia-sama.) Siren has already paid the ridiculous fee to get inside and she is dragging me into the midst of it all.
"What do you want to do first Crow-sama?" Siren gushes excitedly, practically hanging off my arm like a two year old.
One look at all the weird things around here makes me blurt out my answer immediately, "Nothing at all!"
"But Crow-sama!!! The roller coasters are soooooooooo fun!!!!!!!!!!" Siren whines.
"No!" I protest. She's beginning to cut off the circulation in my arm...
"Pretty please?"
"No!"
"Pretty please with a chocolate covered me on top?"
"Yum...chocolate covered Siren-chan... um, I mean 'No!'"
She gives me those puppy dog eyes that I hate so much. "*sigh* Okay, okay. ONE 'roller coaster' as you call it!" I say, holding up my index finger to emphasize the number 1. There's no way in the world my lover can fail to get her way with her puppy face.
"Yippee!" Siren exclaims glomping me promptly. I squirm trying to get out of her iron grip. When I finally emerge from Siren's arms, I shoot off the stares that we're receiving and all those humans go back to what they were doing right away.
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Siren-chan finally decides on one of the theme park's more unique coasters, which she says is called "Dueling Dragons." The entrance is guarded by two stone dragons, one red, the other blue. Past this outside display, we walk across the drawbridge of a castle-type building. After passing the drawbridge and the battle courtyard, we enter a stained glass room. When we enter with the group of people with us, a voice begins speaking from nowhere (AN: nowhere being a stereo system set up all around us in well hidden places. But Crow don't know that, do she?)
"What is now hollowed and ruined was, in distant days past, a castle, so fair beyond words that a
sorcerer of great renown had settled, to pass in peace the twilight of his years
Until they came
Descending like a wicked curse a winged plaque of demonic dragons - the king's army quickly fell and
then, in desperation, the entire kingdom turned to the sorcerer
Alas - he was too old to long oppose fiends so fierce and powerful
And so the castle fell. It's riches plundered, it's land scorched, and it's people scattered like ash upon
the wind.
To this day the dragons remain - and so too the sorcerer - to discourage foolish knaves such as
yourself, yearning for a chivalrous challenge..
Such as a ride upon a dueling dragon
And how do I come to tell this tale?
My name is Merlin."
"Well this beats the usual wait line, doesn't it Crow-sama?" Siren smiles, turning to me. I have to admit, it is an interesting back story. But I still don't know what this 'roller coaster' is supposed to do or what it has to do with the dueling dragons.
Deeper into the castle, we pass several gruesome sights. Some include frozen victims of the Ice Dragon hanging from the ceiling, warnings spelled out in human bones (AN: plastic ones. But again, Crow don't know that), and skeletons hanging from the walls. Finally, we see a large sign depicting the two dragons: the Fire Dragon and the Ice Dragon. A circle between them holds the message: "Choose thy fate." Arrows point off down two different corridors, which I assume lead to the individual dragons. Siren heads down the path of the Fire Dragon. I begin to follow, but she puts a hand on my shoulder to stop me.
"Since you've never been before, you'll be better off on the Ice Dragon. I've ridden both before and I like the Fire Dragon better! So go have fun! Bye!" Siren says, running off down the Fire Dragon passage, squealing with delight.
"Wait! What do I do?!" I call after her.
"Try and grab a good seat!" are her last words before she is out of hearing range. A seat? Do dragons have seats? I shrug my shoulders and head off all alone down the path of the Ice Dragon. I think to myself, Siren, we'd better be getting it on after this or there'll be hell to pay!
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It wasn't a real dragon after all. Just a vehicle with a lot of seats that looks like a blue dragon. The other seats are already taken, so I reluctantly take a seat in the very front. I feel my stomach lurch as the car starts and we move forward up a chainlift. As we go up, I can see Siren sitting in the back of the Fire Dragon. She sees me looking at her and waves cheerfully. Soon we're almost at the top of the hill: 125 ft. high! I gulp.
There are few things in the galaxy that scare me. One is seeing Siren get hurt. Another is falling from VERY HIGH PLACES!!! At the top of the hill the dragon car plunges downward. I can hear myself and everyone else screaming, except they are screaming in ecstasy. I scream in fear! How can this be pleasurable?! I'm too scared to keep track of the first few seconds of the ride. But there are a bunch of complicated turns and before I know it we're headed for the red track of the Fire Dragon!
"Ah!!! We'll crash!!!!!!" I holler at the top of my lungs. My hands rush to my face to cover my eyes, but before they get there, the Fire Dragon goes into a camel back hill just as we on the Ice Dragon pass under it. The two dragons were almost touching! Now I know why it's called Dueling Dragons: it was as if the two cars were trying to fight each other during that pass-by. I think my heart is racing over 100 mph!
All too soon another collision seems to be coming! We're gonna hit the wall of that castle we came in through!! Another close call as the track pulls the car away from the castle and into (what Siren later informs me to be) a cobra roll. I feel the blood rush to my head as part of the roll turns us upside-down! After we come out of the roll, I can see the Fire Dragon going through an inversion at an insanely high speed. It's very faint, but I almost swear I can hear Siren screaming, "Having fun Crow-sama?!"
More twists and turns. We're still going WAY too fast, but we have slowed somewhat and I have a nice view of the park and of the Fire Dragon going through its paces. At least until our two cars come at each other again. This time I do cover my eyes. When I know the end is about to come, the liquids in my stomach lurch upwards and around. My hands fly off my face in surprise. The two dragons have just each performed vertical loops in perfect synchronization to avoid hitting each other (Siren tells me later the cars came within 12 inches of each other!) I need to barf badly, but the g-forces are keeping the puke bottled up in my throat.
After a tight turn-around, the two dragons go into interlocked flatline spins. Then it becomes a race to the finish to see which dragon is triumphant!
After puking on the ground (I missed the barf bag *sweatdrop*!) I turn to a smiling Siren.
"Wasn't that great?!" she gushes.
I take one look at her and fall into her arms, too exhausted for words. When I finally get words out, I tell her, "I only have one thing to ask you."
"What Crow-sama? Is it 'Can we go right now?' 'No sex tonight'? Spill Crow-sama!"
My eyes suddenly go all starry.
"Can I try the Fire Dragon next?"