Disclaimer/Warnings:

Esh: Yeah, Um, this story is mine!  But, I do not own The Once and Future King, the Mews, or Weiß Kreuz.
Nagi: Yeah, too bad.
Esh: ...
Nagi: ::stares with scary too large eyes::
Esh: Ah, kowai!  Anyways, I DO own my version of the Schwarz house, Schu and Crawford's bed, Schu's bunny boxers, Farfie's random knife, the millions of coffee that Crawford stockpiles for the war, and Crawford's miscellaneous OOC genki-ness.
Schu: Hey, *you* do not own my nifty bunny boxers.  Bradley bought them for me.
Esh: Um, no.
Crawford: Actually, I bought them for myself, but one night, when Schu took them off of me, he decided that he wanted them.
Esh: Oh my god!  I really didn't need to know about that.
Schu: Well, actually...
Esh: I really do *not* care about your hentai ways, Schu.
Schu: If you were *only* a man...
Esh: Please, Kami-sama, save me from this scary place you call "serious" anime!
Random Chiaki: *MY* show isn't serious.
Esh: Yea! ::glomps onto her fav bishonen::  Crap, I can't leave yet!  I forgot to do the warnings!
Chiaki: ::puts Esh down:: then hurry up!
Esh: Um, if you are unable to comprehend the Mews, don't read this.  If you have massive problems (aka nosebleeds) with yaoi or nudity, don't read this.  If you cannot in your heart, forget that Schwarz is really OOC in this fic, don't read it.  Otherwise, doooooo it!  Oh, and if you happen to like barn owls, don't read this either. ::runs back to Chiaki and gets on a random horse with him and rides off into the sunset::

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was a strange day in the Schwarz household.  It was... quiet.  What was everyone doing, you may wonder.

Nagi was sitting on the couch, reading "The Once and Future King" for his English literature class.  Schuldig was laying in his and Crawford's bed, wearing nothing but boxers with cute little bunnies all over them.  He was sleeping, and murmuring things in his deathlike slumber, like "No, Bradley, don't do that!" or "Farfie, I am NOT showering with you!"  Farfie was sitting in his room licking a knife contentedly.

But what about Crawford, the oh-so-humble leader?  He was out at the food store, stockpiling his coffee supplies.  Yes, it was a quiet day in the house.

Suddenly, Nagi burst out laughing.  "The Mews!  Yes, I love the Mews!!!!!!!!"  Farfie, hearing this outburst and wondering what all the commotion was about and if was going to hurt God, came out of his room.

"What are you talking about, Nagi?" he asked, walking out into the living room, knife in hand.

"The Mews!  I loooooooooove the Mews!" Nagi exclaimed, waving his book in the air, while dancing on the coffee table.

"And they call me the insane one..." Farfie murmured, then walked away.  But then, in an epiphany, he turned around.  "Do the Mews hurt God?"

"Of course!  Now, do you love the Mews too?" Nagi asked, a maniacal gleam in his too-large eyes.

"Yes!  The Mews hurt God!" Farfie shouted, waving his knife around and then jumping onto the coffee table along side Nagi, began to shout along with Nagi about the Mews.

Schuldig woke up.  'What the hell is going on?' he thought, as he dragged himself out of his comatose state to figure what the noise was about and if it was going to get him laid.  He walked out into the living room to see Farf and Nagi dancing like horny teenagers at a school dance, and screaming about the Mews.

"Um, whatever you are doing, does it involve sex?" Schu inquired.

Nagi and Farfie stopped dancing.  "Excuse me?" Nagi asked, feeling a little confused.

"I want sex!  Are you going to be having sex?" Schu asked again.

Nagi and Farfie looked at other, shrugged, then proceeded to glomp into Schu.  "So, I guess this means I'm getting laid?" he asked.  The two other Schwarz members nodded.  "Yea!"

At that very moment, Crawford walked into the house, carrying two bags full of different flavors of coffee.  All he saw was his boyfriend being "molested" by the other two assassins.  "Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed like a small child.

The three people groping each other in the floor looked up and realized that strange high-pitched noise was Crawford.  Schu quickly squirmed out from underneath Farf and Nagi and ran to his man.  "Stop screaming, Bradley!" he said.

"What the hell were they *doing* to you?" the very angry, very frightened leader asked.

"We were bored, and I wanted sex, so we *about* to have sex, when you walked in.  Why, do want to join in, honey?" Schu said, not fully understanding Crawford.

Crawford, realizing that it was all a big mistake, looked at the barely clad Schu, the wild-eyed Nagi (who was still holding the book, mind you), and the um, well, insane Farfie.  He then looked at the barely-clad Schu again.  "Um, yeah, actually!"  Crawford said, with very OOC genki-ness.  The other three looked at each other, sweat dropped, and then realizing this may never *ever* happen again, grabbed Crawford and pulled him to the floor.

*three hours later*

Crawford woke up and realized he didn't have any clothes on and neither did his other teammates.  He blinked, then blinked again.  'Oh my god, I had sex with Farf and Nagi.'  he thought.

Nagi woke up, saw Crawford with the confused look on his face, and yelled "I loooooooooooove the Mews!!!!!"

Outside, a very scary barn owl hooted.

~*~*~*~*~

Esh: Um, yeah.  I was bored.  Please, if you have NO idea what the Mews is, I suggest you look it up.
Omi: I know what they are!  I had to read that book, just like Nagi-kun.
Esh: Omi-kun.  I'm so proud?
Omi: You should be.
Youji: Hey Omi, you wanna go have sex in the Mews?
Omi: That's dirty!
Esh: Ewwwwwww, dirty uncle Youji.
Youji: ...
Random Heero: hn.
Random Trowa: ...
Random Heero: hn.
Esh: WTF?????