Motivators
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical con= dition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so onfiltered of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know ther= e are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, = have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer= your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Things Never To Say To a Cop
9-11 poem
I'm lying here slowly dying My heart is losing it's beat I'm burning up i feel the heat My breaths are getting shorter My vision is getting worse The pain is taking over as i cry out in short burts i can't tell you how i feel how much i love you i just lie here slowly dying thinking of you hot tears streaking down my face burnning up my cheeks now my life is being cut short i keep thinking of this past week all the time we spent together all the memories that we hold they to are slowly dying they were my pot of gold my good luck my reason of being with you but now i just lie here alone on the dark screaming in pain and slowly leaving a mark a mark in your memory only one you can see only one you can touch i hope i bring you glee even though i am leaving you never to return i know we'll meet again because love never burns
Girl Poem
Girl Poem A poem for us.... I shave my legs, I sit down to pee. And I can justify any shopping spree. Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon. I can get a massage without a hard-on. I can balance the checkbook, I can pump my own gas. Can talk to my friends, about the size of my ass. My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long. At least I can admit, to others when I'm wrong. I don't drive in circles, at any cost. And I don't have a problem, admitting I'm lost. I never forget, an important date. You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late. I don't watch movies, with lots of gore. Don't need instant replay, to remember the score. I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch. And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a bitch. Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her. In your dreams, my dear, I can do better! Flowers are okay, But jewelry's best. Look at me you idiot... Not at my chest???? I don't have a problem, With expressing my feelings. I know when you're lying, You look at the ceiling. DON'T call me a GIRL , a BABE or a CHICK . I am a WOMAN. Get it?, you DICK!?!
