The Mind ¡V a Place of Control and the Unknown
My mind is a mystery. I want to discuss my ¡§own personal place.¡¨ Never in the world have I found someone that is so close up to myself, at least, I am sure that not many people in Earth know the ¡§real me,¡¨ however.
My brain is a unique place that belongs to me. My motions, emotions; knowledge or conscience is controlled, as does everyone else in the world. So what makes it so special to me? In this densely populated area, it constitutes my past, my being and my future.
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I am a shy person. Remember when Newf and Jen were demonstration the lip sync competition in the stage? I reckon I can never do it. Why? I don¡¦t know. Physically, when I am in a situation where I have something I don¡¦t want to do, or someone I really want to see, my heart keeps pumping; my body heats up, my brain keeps giving me the signal ¡§I can¡¦t do it,¡¨ and I will be paralyzed for at least 2 seconds. Most of the time, It is not like I don¡¦t want to ¡§share¡¨ my emotions; I am not able to , for whatever reasons. Why do I behave like that? The majority of the problem lies in the brain, because it is the place that controls my ¡§emotions.¡¨ What can I do to change that? If I were braver, it would solve the problem. But how can I Reach this status? I t is not merely a lesson in class ¡V it is an experience, an educational experience. There exists a major difference between me and other people, as a result of my ¡§unique¡¨ brain.
I am never a smart person. People here always misunderstand the concept of smart and hardworking. To be smart, one must be like a genius, well, I mean you can do all calculations in head, or memorize a book with ease. This, obviously, has to do with the brain¡¦s capacity. But one cannot control this, not to my knowledge. Whatever brain you are born with will carry throughout your life. I wish I am like that, but people mistake about me. They think I am smart merely because I have good grades. Wrong, the academic success is part of the hard work, which is part of my conscience. As for my ¡§brain power,¡¨ it is limited. I cannot do a calculus problem in my head, nor am I able to memorize a single book. Maybe I make a ¡§smart¡¨ decision, but this doesn¡¦t have anything to do with the activeness of the brain.
I am a hypocrite. I don¡¦t think I am a nice person, yet here I am, helping people unconditionally. I am not a diligent person, yet I am ¡§working hard¡¨ in Berkshire. I am a nonentity, yet I am trying to establish myself. Hwy do I do the exact opposite of my feelings, or my natural instinct tells me? This is a question with no answer. Perhaps this is when my sub-conscious part of my brain kicks in. It is always, for example, a good thing to help people; but not being a nice person, I shouldn¡¦t have done it, after all. Yet week after week I am helping people, in all fields of academics, as best as I can. Why don¡¦t I reveal my true identity? Perhaps I don¡¦t¡¦ want people to know how vulnerable I am. How do I manage to do that? The bottom line is, I do want to share my true identity to people, but as with the case of ¡§emotion,¡¨ I am not abou because I am shy. As a matter of fact, I really want to share my ¡§true identity¡¨ to people, yet I am hiding myself. They hypocrisy constitutes my presence, at least, at Berkshire.
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What do people think about me? Will I get the same answers as above? Probably not, because they have no idea of my true identity. But there are elements that constitute my past, my presence and my future. Will it change over time? Probably, because I will have more experiment in the future. I might be able to share my feelings, or I will still be close to myself. What will my next brain signal be I don¡¦t¡¦ know.
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Whatever strength I possess, or weakness that I have, it still comes from the same place, and as a matter of fact, everything in one¡¦s mind, just like the heart is to living organism, comes from the brain.