Acrostic poems are poems in which the first letter of each line spells out a word. I've bolded these letters in order to make it more apparent. Funny how I got started on these.... Doug Wilson approached me in Tech Ed one day, crying that he needed an original poem for his english class. Being in a pretty bad writers' block myself, I decided to try something in this seemingly simplistic form. I scrawled out PENCIL in about 7 minutes, then decided that it was actually WORTH keeping and putting my own name on it (I then pulled something trite out of my ass and gave it to Doug for his assignment).
Since that day, I've tried to stick to the same basic format. I've try as best I can to quickly capture the "essence", if you will, of my subjects. These are all written very quickly (most under 2 minutes), minorly revised once or twice, then published (either here or in my blue journal). All in all, there's about 35 or so of these suckers floating around. Give or take. And counting.
For some of these,
I've provided explainations.
PENCIL
| MOJINATION | VIAGRA |
CAFFEINE | WAGNER | BALLOON
| BONDAGE | MASOCHISM |
PENIS | LAID | CROMWELL
| DAMIEN | DANIEL | LIPSTICK
| TURTLE | PLATE | DOUG
WILSON | WINDOW | CLOCK
| JAGERMEISTER | SUICIDE
| TIPSY | STAGE | RESEARCH
| IMPROMPTU | VALENTINE
| MOO COW | ROSE | INTERNET
| COMPUTER | DOOMSDAY |
I THINK I'M IN LOVE
PENCIL was the first of the acrostic (see explaination at top). Its simplistic, rhyming, and sing-songy. I don't do that anymore, though, it would've driven me nuts.
Put
it in your pencil case,
Eat the soft
pink end,
Nibble on the
yellow paint,
Crack the pointed
lead,
Insert in the
sharpener, or
Learn to use
a pen!
This is based on Austin Powers: "So I got my mojo to counter their mojo, we got cross-mojination and their heads popped off!"
Man,
am I horny!
Oh to have
been a swinger,
Just carefree
times
Into the vibes
of casual sex.
Nothing compares
to the heat of her thighs...
Aroused, I
stand at attention
To release
my soldiers into the wild frontier.
Ignorant of
the harm it causes
Onward toward
the fleeting goal...
Now I'll have
a cigarette.
Vegetable
willies,
Ignite in passionate
flames!
Age is suspended,
Geriatric problems,
gone!
Rejuvination
is temporary,
Again, it is
flaccid.
Coffee,
coke, and No-Doz, too.
All I savor
is the drug.
Fighting against
a no sleep night,
Finding it's
an uphill fight.
Effect is slowly
wearing off...
I think I need
a nap
Nighty-night,
Everything
is perky
Mr. Wagner was my history teacher last year, and one of my SHB teachers this year. He's got superhiman powers, he made me actually appreciate US history. Plus he can pun with the best (worst) of 'em.
Wit's
lightning fast.
Alert your
pun shields, for
God awful jokes
Never cease
from his mind.
Everyone hide!
he's on a
Roll today!
This was inspired by my first job as the Balloon Nazi at Factory Card Outlet
Big,
bright, colorful globes
Alive and vibrant.
Loftily floating
on the wind,
Lazily drifting
on the breeze.
Oh, to see
the look on the face of a child;
Oxygen overtaken
by heilium
Never again
returning to the ground.
Uhh.... the next 4 were written on a paper napkin in a hotel restauraunt in Austria. It was slow service that night, and most of the words were suggested by the one and only Doug Wilson.
Breath
held deep within, as
Oiled leather
binds the skin.
Now he shall
learn his
Desire can
only be
Aptly contained
by the
Grazing straps
Enticing his
arousal.
Moans
from the basement
As "Tiger"
works her charms.
Sensually,
her claws
Open wounds
of paranoia and desire.
Cracking her
whip across
His trembling
back, she
Intimidates
her prey,
Seducing him
to a
Most excruciating
climax.
Perpetually
aroused,
Erect to it's
fullest, yet
Never touched
by a woman.
Instead, it
hangs,
Slightly to
the left.
Lavishly
enjoying a cigarette
Arms haging
off the sides of the bed
In harmony
with the world....
Damn, that
was good.
Mike Cromwell and I got to know each other on the AMA 99 tour. A combination of close quarters and lack of options lead me to, uh, pose that question upon myself. He found out, and refused to let me live it down :-P.
Could
a real
Relationship
ever exist
Outside these
bus walls?
Maybe it's
best to
Write of my
plight...
Elaborating
to myself, and
Lamenting the
Loss of my
dignity.
These next two were written on the busride up to Hagerstowne for the Mummer's Parade. Again, their reflections on a past AMA tour member.
Devilish
grin
Attacks to
the core of
My heart.
I find myself
Enthralled
by his very
Nature.
Dare
I open my mouth
And confess
my feelings?
No, it cannot
be.
I only prize
him for his
Ease with a
crystal ball.
Love has no
place there.
This was based on
a brief morning dispute with my brother:
Ben: Why do you
insist on taking so much time putting on makeup?
Me (sarcastically):
So the boys will like me better!
"Luscious
Lavender" or
"Indigo Dream"
Plastered across
her face.
Such is the
way of the
Teenage girl,
If she wants
all those
Cool boys to
Keep liking
her.
The next two poems were based on the premise of "Quick, give me a word...."
Trodding
along the highway
Unfazed by
the cars
Roaring overhead.
Too slow is
our poor shelled friend.
Lincoln Town
Car didn't
Even see him....
CRUNCH
Piled
high with mashed potatoes
Liquified by
butter.
Applesauce
on the side of a
T-bone steak.
Eat it up while
it's hot!
The one and only, my co-conspirator and inspiration...
Did
anything
Out of his
mind
Used to be
Good and
Wholesome?
I'm beginning
to fear his
Lusty,
Suggestive
poem topics,
Of which most
bear my
Name.
Watching
the world from
Inside the
comforts of home.
No interaction,
no communication. Looking
Down on the
world is
Only a fraction
as satisfying as
Working right
in it.
I wrote this during SHB. I'm not all that proud of it.
Circle
on the wall,
Looming overhead,
Ominously marching
onward, as
Class slows
to a
Krawl.
Back to more AMA stuff. Cromwell got drunk on jagermeister without me :-(. So in order to get back, I wrote a poem from his point of view.
Just
a cold, cloudly
Austrian day...
Grabbed my
buddies for an
Expedition
through the
Rain to the
top of the
Mountain.
Eagerly,
I raise the
Strong brew
To my lips.
Erin probably
Really wishes
she was here.
I wasn't even depressed when I wrote this, I just figured it was a typical poetry topic, and I should probably touch on it.
So
cruel can life be, so
Unresponsive
to suffering,
I feel I
Can no longer
go on.
If only I knew
for sure that
Death was the
answer to
Everything.
More AMA. "Tipsy" became my nickname over in Europe, mainly because I was the only one who would feel the effects of one German beer at dinnertime. And by "effects", I mean that I couldn't stop giggling stupidly.
The
beer is getting to me.
I think I should
Probably stop
Singing so
damn loud.
You're so @#%$in'
funny!!
Written while watching a rehearsal of "The Importance of Being Earnest". Blame Oscar Wilde for his pompous characters.
Standing
in the spotlight
Taking in all
the
Applause I've
earned.
Get back before
my
Ego explodes.
Written in the Hotel du BCPL (the public library) while working on my senior paper. I had run out of sources/notecards/patience, and this is all I could come up with. Better than my actual paper, thats for damn sure.
Racking
our brains, pouring
Every availible
hour into
Searching through
Endless volumes
of
Articles, criticisms,
and
Reviews of
books.
Couldn't you
get off our backs?
Havent we suffered
enough?
"Impromptu" by Tad Mosel is one of the one-act plays that we're putting on this year. The cast had a hell of a time trying to figure out what it all meant. So during the rehearsal, amidst discussing interpretation, we all wrote poems and such on the dry erase boards.
Is
it really blasphemy?
More like a
headache.
Papke musta
not
Really been
with it
On the day
he chose this
Mindbogglingly
deep
Play.
Too bad this'll
go
Uninterpreted
by the masses
This was written on THE actual day. My personal (cynical, I might add) situation pokes its head through a little in this one.
Voice
your heart
And confess
to the
Love of your
life how
Enamored you
are.
Not that it'll
work, but
Then again,
unrequited love
Is a great
topic for
Nauseous poetry
and
Endlessly trite
verse.
Oom. I'm a dyslexic cow. If you frequent the bandroom, you've probably seen the moo cow drawn on the board a few times.
Majestic
creature
Of the pasture
Offers her
gift of
Calcium goodness.
Oh, where would
we be
Without the
cow?
More V-day drivel. The last line was given to me by Laurie Needer. As cornball as she thought it was, it seemed to flow nicely, so I kept it. Thanks Laurie!
Ruby
red blossom.
Only a flower,
but
So much more:
Exquisite beauty.
I want to expand this to a monologue, much like the Hacker's Manifesto.
I
stand a prisoner of the 'net.
Nothing else
gives me more pleasure
Than searching
the web and
Expanding my
knowledge by avoiding
Reality and
human interaction.
No wonder I'm
miserable. My
Existance has
dwindled
To only a handful
of 1's and 0's.
Contraption
of addiction
Only slightly
better than television. It
Makes mush
out of
People's minds.
The
Unfeeling code
Tempts us into
Engaging in
chat sessions instead of
Real life communication.
This is based on the Doomsday Machine in Dr. Strangelove. The VERY basic premise of the movie is that a nuclear strike has been launched on Russia, but they posses this Doomsday Machine which will destroy the world if Russia is ever under nuclear attack. I scrawled in on my extra sheet of paper after writing a timed essay for SHB. When I showed it to Wagner, he stapled it to the rest of my essay =-0.
Drop
of a bomb's all it takes,
Only one violation
and
Our invention
is triggered.
Mechanical,
inhuman, unfazed by
Suggestions
of rational thought, it
Deploys without
human intervention,
Assuring total
destruction.
You better
get your kicks in now...
In searching other Geocities pages, I came across a few dedicated to acrostic poetry, much like this one here. Several of them dealt with acrostic sentances, rather that just words. I figured it was worth a shot. With this one, I try to capture the "love-hate" relationships of grade school recess.
The one who
eats paste,
He thinks he's
so cool.
I dont't see
why, he
Never behaves
himself and barely
Knows what's
going on.
I think he's
retarded, or
Maybe he was
dropped on his head when he was an
Infant.
I mean
No one would
ever go out with such a
Loser!
What poor fool would
Offer to be
his
Valentine?
Certainly, it'd never
EVER be me!