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IN
ALL A LESSON Elissa
has passed away, at twelve years of age, at her span of life... I had the
feeling to write about the experience I had during the last seven months of
life of my daughter and the LESSONS obtained of it. In
November 2001 my daughter went through a test for the Colegio
Militar de Salvador (Military College of
Salvador/Brazil), which she approved. She begun having headaches, in the nape
of the neck; we thought it would be due to the great mental effort in her
studies. But on the 19th of November my wife called me by phone to
my work, informing that the child was going to get mad of pain, and that even
water would her have to vomit. I met
with both at the The
chemotherapy and radiotherapy would be important for the complete destruction
of the cancer cells, not visible, by bare sight, during surgery. That kind of
cancer (Medulo Blastoma
of Cerebellum) responds quite well to treatment. However, the cells seen,
through the microscope, had nucleus with odd forms... After
five months of chemotherapy, and already having started the radiotherapy, in
April 2002 the symptoms returned; new resonance; another surgery. Then,
through the inmunohistochemic survey, made in CICAP
(Inmunohistochemic, Citopathologic
and Anatomic Pathology Centre) in the state of Sao Paulo/Brazil it was
stated: DEMOPLASTIC MEDULOBLASTOMA of cerebellum with RABDOID cells. In the
whole world, up today, there are only three registered cases of Demoplastic Meduloblastoma: http://bvs.sld.cu/revistas/onc/vol11_2_95/onc05295.htm
- and Meduloblastoma with rabdoide
cells there is only one case registered: http://www.conganat.org/icongreso/comunic/com063/titulo.htm
- However, there is no registration of any tumour
with both of those characteristics together. Demoplastic
tumours, standing by their own, are extremely
aggressive and of almost impossible treatment; regarding the Rabdoidic cells, although seldom, are more common in
happening in the Wilms Tumour
(a kind of cancer, which happens in the kidneys), but, there is just no known
treatment for that kind of cell. The rabdoid tumour is considered to
be the mayor challenge of Oncology, since it does not respond to any kind of
treatment, and it has the power of growth of embryonic cells (geometric
progression: to the square). Due to
backsliding, my daughter was operated the second time in April. Immediately
one proceeded with radiotherapy. But, one month later appeared a third tumour (they came back every time because, in spite to
being withdrawn by surgery, evidenced fact by post-surgical tomography, the
chemotherapy associated with radiotherapy did not achieve to break the
residual rabdoide cells), not existing indication
of another surgery, since it would not help (it would only increase the
suffering), she was, however, put under surgery for a third time in order to
install a peritoneal derivation valve to bring relieve to the headache, which
associated wit analgesics would lessen her suffering, estimating 30 days of
life, but she lived only 20 more days. Those were 20 days of suffering,
because even up to the installation of the valve she had to wait the
necessary level of plackets in the blood, a transfusion of these being
necessary, it was only achieved after controlling the high fever due to the
edema in the brain; the fever was controlled only the fifth day, receiving
immediately a plackets transfusion, which are responsible for the clogging of
the blood, she then was operated On the
tenth day the vital signs were week, and one had to do a fourth surgery to
extract a vein in the arm (the ideal would be a catheter installed directly
in the vein of access to the heart, but this would risk an inner haemorrhage due to the lowering of plackets; neither
could she get general anaesthesia), without being
able to get general anaesthesia, not even a
sedative to sleep, local anaesthesia was applied,
having to perform all the surgical procedure with the girl awake. But, to our
surprise, she returned smiling; she told us that, while entering in the
Surgical Centre she saw the Lord Jesus, she did not she the face, but she
knew that it was Jesus, He was with white and glittering clothes, that He led
the stretcher in a cloud and fondled her face. We came
to know that this was not the first time, neither the last of her having
visions of Jesus coming to comfort her in the moments of her suffering. Then
we realised that there was little time left... I have
restricted myself to talk in a technical manner, but if you put yourself in
my place and could see your daughter coming in and getting out of hospital
during seven months, even having to use morphine for the pain; sometimes, in
the interval of 3 hours, to vomit 14 times, and having cramps through the whole
body due to the low potassium and other electrolyte, having headaches due to
the pressing of the tumour directly on the nervous
centre of the body: the brain; and if you think that is all... I have to tear
my heart in order to write. In all,
we were greatly impressed by the peace and joy she had. During the last week
she said to God: "Lord, I am not afraid, I know that if I die, I shall
be with Jesus!". And she died at 09:15 hours of
June 11th 2002 (Tuesday). Elissa
parted to be with the Lord, whom she loved in all her life. Her mother always
told her that already in her womb she consecrated her, and as soon as she
gave birth to her she reiterated the votes. She grew up developing such a
fondness, that it was impossible not to be captivated by her joy. She used to
say that when we talk and express Christ, we gain little star in our crown. I
do not know where she got that ideas from, but, even after her departure,
wherever this my report shall sencibilize people by
the testimony of life of my daughter, may there many little stars be credited
to his crown... The pain
during the last 48 hours escapes the comprehension of human reasoning. The tumour entered in a phase of extreme violence; with its
growth, in the part of the brain with more force, one part of the body would
loose its function (many of her organs became disabled). I stayed three days
and three nights holding her little hand, talking to her that in short her
suffering would come to an end... Initially
she lost control of the left side arm and leg, followed by the co-ordination
of the left eye, so that she would see everything twofold, leaving her
foolish; she would no more open the mouth... She had stomach haemorrhage; she went loosing the kidneys, intestines;
and at last the lungs... The last
night was terrible. We were I and my wife on her side all the time, were we
witnessed three respiratory halts during dawn, being reanimated by the
medical staff. A
respiratory halt is something that causes a severe shock wen
you see it (I thought I was having a collapse because I myself was breathing
wit difficulty as I saw my little one suffering so much, my wife was
shouting: Lord Jesus, have mercy): among other reaction, which impresses most
are the strong spasms and convulsions; I cannot go on... On the
last respiratory halt I asked my wife not to implore anymore for a miracle
(there are moments in which we have to be quite clear about the divine
intentions) and I cried to God aloud, in front of all who were there; I asked
Him that He should not let part the girl in that manner because it was most
painful. She went into coma and the respiration went dropping down, reaching
11% of oxygenation, and the day was beginning. The
oncologist of the girl arrived early and started to monitor her last moments.
Dr. Dolores was impressed that the heart continued beating (normally the
heart stops at 50% of oxygenation). Then she, the physician, asked about the
brothers of the girl (my two sons – Valter Neto who will be 17 years of age; Felipe: he is 15 years
old), and I answered that my father, their grandfather, went to fetch them at
school. As the
boys arrived they kissed her, saying: "Oh, little sister of mine, I love
you!", it was so spontaneous... I remembered
when the girl entered in coma one of the physicians prevented us that she was
maintaining conscience, so that we should be careful talking near her. In
fact, at hearing the voice of her brothers, tears came out of the eyes of Elissa. The apparatus was not able to register the
oxygenation anymore; and at auscultating the
physician exclaimed: "Something is bothering this girl!", since the heart continued beating, lowering and
rising the rhythm. As by a
divine inspiration, I approached her, having my wife at my side; and, holding
the little and frigid hand of the girl, I said: "Elissa,
my daughter!". I cannot explain, but she did
come out of coma, and looked at me. I continued: "My little one, I never
lied to you, and this is the last time I speak to you: I shall look after your
mother, loving and respecting her, I shall treat her with dignity all days of
my life; please excuse me for any fault; I shall live in a way, that with the
grace of God, we shall meet again in the millennium. Leave in peace, my
daughter; on burying you, I shall be burying an old father and husband as
well, I shall be a new father for your brothers and a new husband to your
mother. Go now, my little daughter, go into the arms of Jesus, since He is
waiting for you with open arms to receive you". The girl
closed her eyes and expired... The physician put the stethoscope on her chest
and registered the time (09:15 hours). Dear
brothers, I learned that the best present a father can give to his children
is to love the mother of them, and vice versa. I could
also see that it was not necessary that certain parts of my daughter’s body
would be with problems, it was just that the brain would stop sending
messages to these parts, being left useless. With it, I realised
that we need to learn to use the anointing, mainly in the meetings of the
Church. Regarding
the sanguineous problems, I saw that we are in a continuous war; and any
lowering (leukocytes, hemathies or plackets, from
among many components) we are subject of many illnesses. In the same way we
need to be praying and watching always so that we may not have spiritual
losses, many times even unreversible. When the
body of my daughter was lowered into the sepulture, I told the people
present: "The name Elissa means joy, and up to
the end she said to be happy. And even in sight of dead, she was thinking in
the well-being of those she loved so much, but whom she would have to leave
behind. Today people, because of watching novels so much, they are
separating, and they call that incompatibility of temperament. I am
burying somebody so young, but so full of maturesness,
who in his final moments showed to be in fact an overcomer. I have no
insurrection against God, in spite of having nursed strong hopes regarding
the cure of Elissa. If I believed in God before,
today I believe much more, even if my daughter is dead; if I loved Him, now I
love Him much more. Because all that time He was pretty near to my daughter.
And now she will be close to Him forever"... Brethren,
in November 2001, after the first surgery, when I became to know that my
daughter had cancer, seeing her there all over with tubes in the UTI
(Intensive Therapy Unit), weeping I approached God; closed my eyes and
bending my arms, as if I were carrying her, I put her on the altar and said:
"She is much more your daughter than mine; Lord, if it is Your will to
take her with You, I lift my hand of all fondness towards her; I only ask You
to give me the strength to bear the nostalgia and the lack of her". God
accepted my offer; and in spite of the many opinions I was confronted with in
these last months, I have the assurance that that was His will. My daughter
finished the race, and I and my house need to go on, and finish our race too.
More convinced that in us was started a good work, and he who started it is powerful
to fulfil it, leading us at all moments... In the
great loss I suffered – I was meditating on these two verses of the Bible:
"Then Zipporah took a sharp
stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and
said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me."
(Exodus 4:25); and: "And it came to pass on the
third day, when they were sore [due to the circumcision]..."
(Genesis 34:25) – Surely the sore of the cut is very big, but we have to realise that on establishment of this cut, it follows:
"I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou
perfect" (Genesis 17:1)... It is
difficult to measure the pain that now bears in my bosom; on the other hand,
it is also not difficult to realise the fruit it
has generated in me. Today I see life under a new aspect. Recently, I looked
in the eyes of my wife, and I remembered how the girl, hugging her, used to
say: "I love you so much, mom!", and she kissed her... I was
touched by such a simple love and peace. I have learned, though with some
moderation, to make manifest my feelings of fondness to the people who
surround me; I think that is what God expects from us, that we may be genuine
in expressing His person in us... During
all that time Elissa never murmured of the
sufferings; in everything she would find reasons to express the joy that she
had of living; having loved Jesus, she loved Him until the end! Amen! Erivalter Moreno de Moura - June
2002 Site of Elissa: http://geocities.yahoo.com.br/erivalter2m/elissa.htm Thanks for the prayers. God is sovereign! One message over the peace I realised in the girl: " Something
I learned with Elissa", and two Photos of her
(one prior to the cancer, and the other taken on new year, where she was hospitalised to take chemotherapy). ______________________________ Translated by ERNESTO RÜDE F. |
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