This page will house thoughts of a poetic nature. Mine own are in color, others works are in black.
Home          Journal          Chatterbox
Change

I am lost in the see-thru
I think you lost yourself too
Throughout all of this confusion
I hope I somehow get to you
I practiced all the things I'd say
To tell you how I feel
And when I finally get my chance
It all seems so surreal
'Cause from the first time I saw you
I only thought about you
I didn't know you
I wanted to hold onto
The things you'd never say to me
'Cause you said

You can't change the way you feel
I could never do that, I could never do that
But you can't tell me this ain't real
'Cause this is real
And you would see right through that
In the end it's all I've got
So I'm gonna hold onto that

Now you've got me watching your eyes
Got me waiting just to see
If it goes the way it never will
Your eyes are watching me
And now you've got me thinking 'bout
The first time that I met you
Standing in a crowded room
But I could only see you
And I hope my words will get through
'Cause now I can't forget you
I want to tell you
If I could only reach you
And make you feel this way
But you said

You can't change the way you feel
I could never do that, I could never do that
But you can't tell me this ain't real
'Cause this is real
And you would see right through that
In the end it's all I've got
So I'm gonna hold onto that

Good Charlotte
Going Down in Flames

Don't tell me what to think
'Cause I don't care this time
Don't tell me what you believe
'Cause you won't be there
To catch me when I fall
But you'll need me when I'm not here at all
Miss me when I'm gone again
I'm going down in flames
I'm falling into this again

Don't tell me how life is
'Cause I don't really even want to know
Don't tell me how this game ends
'Cause we'll just see how it goes
Catch me when I fall
Or you'll need me when I'm not here at all
Miss me when I'm gone again
I'm going down in flames
I'm falling into this again

Three Doors Down
Sweet Misery

Dear sweet misery
It turns my life to insanity
I lost my mind just the other day
I'm waiting 'round to find my way

Oh sweet misery
Can't you see the way you're treating me
It doesn't matter what I pray
'Cause your pain is here to stay

My sweet misery
Why must you do this to me
The price I can't afford to pay
What is left for me to say

02-03-04

Desolation Complex

So much pain, so much despair
Who would have thought one body could
Be put through so much
And still continue to live on

Everyday is a journey
Into the desolate depths of Hades
Bringing with it more affliction and thoughts
Of ending it all and starting anew

If a heart knows one way and a brain another
Why is there such a lapse in relay
Causeing torment, misery, anguish, torture
Lasting though the day and into the night

01-27-04

Food!

Food is nice
Especially with spice
Apples, bananas, chocolate and more
Food can never be a snore

I eat food everyday
I eat food in every way
Tacos, sausage, bread and cheese
Can I have some more food please?


How I Feel Inside

I will always love you
Even though you've changed your mind
I wish I could have done better
But I guess I was blind

I knew exactly how I felt
I wish I could have shown you
But something kept me from it
Of what, I don't have a clue

I guess that's why you're tired
I guess I have to understand
But believe me I don't want to
Now I know heartbreak firsthand

Why couldn't I have just done more
Given you a compliment or played with your hair
I've made the biggest mistake of my life
By not showing how much I care


How I Feel Inside (Part II)

I should have said I love you
Ten thousand time each day
I should have done better
To make you want to stay

I should have written you poems
Explaining how I feel
I should have made it my goal
To prove my love was real

If I could do it all over
I'd be your perfect mate
I love you more than anything
But right now it's me I hate


Departure

sinking falling
emotionless crawling
despair longing
happiness stalling
these are the thoughts
which fill my head
when will they cease
perhaps when im dead


Freedom

The winds have changed direction
I shall change with them
It's high time I listen
To the little voices inside
Attempting to set me free

Worries obscure my ever-changing mind
As to if I'm making a correct decision
But this life is not working
And amendments must be made
And modifications we shall see
Walk Away

What do you do
when you know something's bad for you
and you still can't let go

I was naive, your love was like candy
Artifically sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping
Got caught in your web and I learned how to bleed
I was prey in your bed and devoured completely

And it hurts my soul cause I can't let go
All these walls are cavin' in I can't stop my sufferin'
I hate to show I've lost control
Cause I keep goin' right back to the one thing that I need
To walk away from

I should have known that I was used for amusement
Couldn't see through the smoke, it was all an illusion
Now I've been lickin' my wounds but the venom seeps deeper
We both can seduce, but darlin' you hold me prisoner

Oh I'm about to break I can't stop this ache
I'm addicted to your allure and I'm fiendin' for a cure
Every step I take leads to one mistake
I keep goin' right back to the one thing that I need
To walk away from
I'm about to break and can't stop this ache
Getting nothing in return what did I do to deserve
The pain of this slow burn and everywhere I turn
I keep goin' right back to the one thing that I need
To walk away from

Every time I try to grasp for air I am smothered in despair
It's never over, over
Seems I'll never wake from this nighmare
I let out a silent prayer let it be over, over

Inside I'm screaming, begging, pleading
Now what to do my heart has been bruised
So sad but it's true each beat reminds me of you

It hurts my sould cause I can't let go
All these wall are cavin' in I can't stop my sufferin
I hate to show that I lost control
Cause I keep goin' right back to the one think that I need

Oh, I'm about to break and I can't stop this ache
I'm addicted to your allure and I'm fiendin' for a cure
Every step I take leads to one mistake
I keep going right back to the one thing that I need
I can't mend this torn state I'm in
Getting nothing in return what did I do to deserve
The pain of this slow burn and everywhere I turn
I keep going back to the one thing that I need
To walk away from

Christina Aguilera
The Dance

strong arms enfold
scent of musk
touch of silk
cheek to cheek
time stops
only two left
bodies become one
only sweet music
emotion in motion
colors swirl
consumed by desire
wanting so much more
truth be told
all is seen
everything is right

03-28-04

Memories

spurred by a scent
a look, a color
feeling a touch
reliving a day
two, three
relishing moments
spun to ecstast
brings in pain
driven to want
past days dream
nonetheless enchanted

03-28-04

Alone

When I want to cry, but can't
When I need a hug, but it just doesn't happen
When I need to ven, but no one is there
When I need to talk, but there's no one to listen
When I'm at my end., but no one cares
The world sucks, but if it diddn't, we'd all fall off


10 Things I Hate About You

I hate you more than anything
And how this feels like spite
I hate the way you make me cry
And weep all though the night
I hate the way I scream and yell
And want to rip you apart
I hate the way you make me feel
And the way you broke my heart
I hate that you wouldn't retry
And now you have withdrawn
I ahte that you don't want me now
But instead want me gone
I hate the way I feel right now
And how I want to die
I hate the way you left me
And didn't say goodbye
I hate the way you look at me
And the pity in your eyes
I hate the way I hate you
When the hate is just a disguise


How

How can I find the words to say
when you're always on my mind
How can I say how I truly feel
when my love makes me blind

How can I find the strength
to get me through the day
How can I find the path
that will light my way

How can the world go round
if we are still apart
How can I live this life
if I don't have your heart

How can I win your heart
if I don't have the guts
How can I live my life without you
and not go completely nuts

How can I live my life
when you're not by my side
How can I go on living
knowing I never tried

How can I find the words to say
when you're always on my mind
How can I say how I really feel
when my love makes me blind

Amanda

Thunderstorms never cloud her mind
Blue skies are always around
Rivers don't flow from her eyes
She's like a flower from the ground

She loves Christmas
And Easter too
She loves all of her family
For them there's nothing she won't do

She loves animals
Every different type
Cars and houses don't mean much
Amanda is never one to gripe
I Am Nothing

I am nothing
Nothing to nobody
Nobody's savior
Saving not even myself

I am nothing
Nothing to live for
Forgotten by most
Mostly alone

???I am nothing
Nothing of worth
Worthless and forgotten
Getting nowhere in life

I am  nothing
Nothing at all
Almost gone
Going nowhere

Falling

they start to fall
endless streams of them
soaking me through

its good for you
release the pain
harboring emotions wont help

dont show pain
bottle it up
dont be so weak

i believe no one
but yet, they fall
in endless streams


Decisions

destructive denial
emotions uncontrolled
abundant tears
thoughts overwhelming
healing inconceivable

cancerous nerves
open veins
memories deceive
energy fades

quitely lingering
untamed anger
incessant fears
calloused heart
knowing pain


Untitled VI

Feeling so lost
Seeming so alone
In a big world
Full of craziness and insanity

To make a decision
Or to not do so
Why should it be so hard
Answers should be easy to find

To look above
And gain that freedom
Eternal sunshine and bliss
And maybe a spotless mind

Too much to ask, you say
Who decides too much
What about too little
Why not just enough

When will it be my turn
Where is my parade
Forever freedom
When will it be

Emotions

the color of the walls makes me sad
the lies in your heart make me mad
all of your lies breed deceit
and one day someone will conquer and defeat
all of the hate in your mind
and all the anger she can find
i stare emotionlessly out the window open
because of the promises made you have broken


Life

Days and lights and fun
Come and go and are
Nights and stars and romance
Here and close and far

Perfection

Everyone wants to reach it
But no one truly can
Lots of people strive for it
And it's expected of me

I just want you all to know
That it's not going to happen
You'll just have to get used
To the way I really am

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1