Courage


Part 12.

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"Courage, my word, it didn't come, it doesn't matter. Courage, it couldn't come at a worse time"

-Courage. THE TRAGICALLY HIP.

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� �

"I'll find her for you, Dave. Don't worry." Carter smiled uneasily and squirmed in his chair.

"Thanks man.. I really appre-" Dave's tired whisper was cut short by the beeper on Carter's belt.

"Sorry Dave." Carter murmured as he unclipped the pager and stared at it, throwing worried glances at the expectant Dave. 'It's the ER.. I'll be back though... I promise."

"Go ahead Carter... I'll be okay. I'm a little tired anyway."

Carter nodded. "Okay.. I'll be back though."

"Will you just get out of here already? You're creeping me out with all the pacing." Dave grumbled goodnaturedly.

"Sorry.. It's just..."

"Lucy.. I know.. and if I wasn't stuck in bed.. I'd pace too.. I.. Anspaugh.. He told me.. There's a good chance.." Dave sighed. "They had a hematoma they had to tie off.. I can't feel anything below my waist.. I mean.. I guess I'm grateful that I'm not dead. I should be grateful for that.. I should be grateful, right?" Dave said, his voice strained and full of fear.

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm sorry I did this. I'm sorry I sent you after her. I'm sorry I was so hard on you about Lucy." Carter groaned angrily as his pager went off, ripping it from his belt and throwing it against the wall.

Dave winced, expecting it to obliterate into a million pieces, but it bounced harmlessly off the wall and clattered to the floor. It had finally stopped beeping.

"It's my fault Carter. Not yours. I should have listened to her. I should have stayed put and not fought back. If I'd done that.. I might not have crippled myself. It's my fault." He sighed. "I. If I'd listened to her.. If I'd listened to that maniac when he told me not to move.. I'd be eating a cheese burger instead of getting my four square meals from a tube in my stomach. I didn't listen when it was most important.. That's my own fault.. Not yours."

*******

Kerry Weaver had been heading to see Malucci after running into Don Anspaugh on her journey to track down Carter. Now Malucci had become a more important task. Anspaugh had been quite frank with her about the young colleague's condition and as she stood outside and listened to the conversation between the two men, Kerry realized that he'd used that same frankness with Dave. She crept into the room and stood watching before she coughed slightly and let herself be known.
"Carter.. I've been paging you downstairs.. Do you make it a habit of ignoring your pages?" She eyed the pager on the floor and walked across the room, stooping to pick it up.

"No... I.. I wasn't ignoring the pages.." Carter stammered uneasily.

Kerry nodded. "Okay then. As long as you weren't ignoring them. The post-op scans are back on your patient. The cast-iron stomach. I was right.. My watch doesn't keep time anymore."

She walked to Dave as she started to fish around in her pocket. "I believe these are yours." Kerr smiled warmly, wrapping his bandaged fingers around the rings.

Dave smiled tiredly in return, staring at his hand. "My rings!" He whispered in soft disbelief. "Where were they?"

Carter reddened "Inside my patient.. He.. uh.. swallowed them."

Dave grinned, fingering the rings. "Oh.. I.. I was looking for them. Figured I'd lost them.. Like in the bathroom or something.."

"I guess you could have left them in the bathroom.. Carter's patient was a bit of a wanderer.." - Just like Sobriki.. Kerry thought to herself, shuddering slightly as she smiled for Dave. "He should have been restrained." - SOBRIKI!!!! Her thoughts screamed. "But your rings seem okay.. A little tarnished.. But no worse for wear." - He was split open like a melon..

"Chief?" Carter and Dave looked at her worried and Kerry looked up from the floor, smiling weakly.

"Carter. The police want you to make a statment.." Her voice caught. "Go.... Please.."

Carter bit his lip, with a small nod, he left the room.

*****

"Chief...." Dave's pallor had worsened and he slipped the 02 mask over his face.

"She's in a coma Dave.." Kerry bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. Her lip quivered and she bit harder, welling blood in her mouth as the tears burned her eyes.

"How bad.. How bad is it?" He murmured, his throat tightening as he swallowed.

"She.. She's stroked out.. There was a clot they didn't catch in time. She's... Gone.. Brain-dead.." Kerry blinked, letting the tears fall as she turned her head away. "They're keeping her on support till her family gets here." She said sadly as she pulled up a chair to rest her leg.

"Can I see her?" Dave said hopefully.

�"Dave.. I don't th-" She protested.

"You'll have to move me anyway.. Take me by there.." He said, his words thick and sluggish with the drugs dripping from the pole.

"Dave.. I-"

"Please.. Chief.. I.. I have to see her.. I have to say goodbye.. I have to say I'm sorry.." Dave shuddered, closing his eyes. The only noise in the room was the quiet hush of the oxygen tank and the beeping of the machines that surrounded him like a mechanical fanclub.

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