My name is Dana and the events you have just witnessed are a part of my every day life, except for the whole sex part. That's only once a week.
In case you haven't been able to pick up on it yet, I'm gay. I've been openly gay with my friends since halfway through my sophomore year. Do they care? No. It was a very confusing decision to make. All those feelings stored up inside of me and no way to express them properly.
I hadn't planned on telling my parents until I started university, and that wasn't even a sure thing. Why? I love my mom and I didn't want to disappoint or upset her.
My whole life I've been a tomboy and a rebel. As hard as she may have tried, my mother could not change the utter loathing I have towards fashion, make up, and "girly" things. Give me a good pair of jeans and a t-shirt any day.
The fact that I had no interest in the "girlier" aspects of life disappointed my mother greatly. She had told me many times before she found out about my homosexuality that she just wanted a normal daughter. So I didn't tell her. I knew it would only make things worse. And it did.
My father, who was around a lot more back then, chose to read my journal, which I had left open on my pillow while I made a quick trip to the bathroom. Unfortunately I had written several statements that made it blatantly obvious that my sexuality was not "normal."
He told my mother, and, well, it went downhill from there.
The sudden suspicion that my parents suddenly had concerning me depressed me again. Since about 4th grade I'd been attempting to deal with a rather severe case of clinical depression by myself. In 9th grade I finally turned to my friends after trying to slash my wrists. They turned me in. The therapists put me on Prozac. I rebelled.
The only good thing that happened in ninth grade was Ashley. I met her in the spring during soccer season. My feelings intensified in 10th grade, and at the beginning of my junior year - her senior year - we began dating, awkwardly at first.
It was sort of an accident that she found out, but thankfully - and boy do I mean thankfully - she felt the same way about me. One of our mutual friends had listened to both of us moan about each other for at least a year now, and I think she eventually got sick of it, so she told Ashley that I liked her knowing that Ashley would approach me. I mean, the girl is fearless. No matter how cliche this next part is, the rest is history.
From that point on I was constantly persecuted by my mother and ignored by my father. Josh and I have never been close so his dislike of me didn't hurt that much.
To deal with the stress I either write poetry or drive. Until my relationship with Ashley progressed I had no human to turn to in times of need. My friends were always there, but they just don't understand these things the way Ashley does.
And that's my life story. The important parts anyway. I could bore you with "I'm a good student," or "I'm a complete non-conformist," but facts like that aren't important.
Come to think of it, nothing is...
chapter 6