returning again
to an age old
belief
that love does
not exist
the brief flicker
of wonder
passes by me.
'what would it have been like?'
there i go again
abandoning my dreams
settling for something
less than what i'd
prayed for.
making me think.
'some wishes weren't meant to come true.'
the pain returns again
i have no distraction
i gave up my love
i gave in
the hollowness inside
i've experience before
i lived through before
before i found her.
'she'll never return my love. i don't believe in love.'
the hollowness returns again
my old belief returns again
the scars resurface
the doubt, self-hatred
the tears i was afraid to cry
all come back without love
but who cares?
'i don't believe in love.'
~erika boal