Women Love Them, Men Want to be Them
Bluefield is blessed to have a wonderful
establishment for the gathering of friends and, uh, people who aren't friends. Yeah. Its Macado's,
a restaurant/bar place that has great food and an atmosphere that reminds me of Christopher Lloyd's
apartment in Taxi, a combination that's pretty dang hard to beat, if you ask me. Which, of
course, you didn't. Well, all of that has nothing to do with the picture shown here, except that
it was taken there by a waitress who, if I were a betting man, I would bet was over-stressed and
under-tipped by the subjects. On the far left one may note Kooter (known to people who like him
as "Eric Bolton") attempting to lick the ears of Robert Jones, Master Auctioneer. I do not know
why. Then, behind Bob you see a dashing gentleman with glasses and a green shirt. That sexy
man is, ahem, me (yeah, well, it is. . .). Beside of me is Jimmy Adkins. Jimmy is a Marine, and
in his off hours likes to get tattooed, work out, and purchase shirts that are two sizes too small
(in order to make his already hulking body look even bigger, thereby eliminating any chance any
of his peers would have otherwise had of actually meeting girls). Beside of him is John "Horse"
Gunter. John enjoys shooting animals and hitting people with sticks. That's right, he's in the
Virginia Special Police. Finally, we have Michael "Irish" Christian. Irish likes to scream really
loudly for fun. That's it. He's in Britain right now, chillin' like a villian and guarding BDPs
(Big Damn Planes).
And So Graham Mourned the Loss of Her Greatest Champions. . .
In the One Thousand Nine-Hundred and Ninety-Fourth Year of Our Lord some One Hundred and Ten individuals Graduated from the scholastic institution known as Graham High School in the Town of Bluefield, a Municipality of the Commonwealth of Virginia, a State the United States of America. Of these persons, some Five men stand out as having achieved the absolute Finest in Academic and Social Accolades. From Left to Right in this Mechanically Reproduced Print one may find Mr. Carl Harry Riley, III (master of the Biological and Pharmaceutical Sciences), Mr. Jonathon Gary Gunter, Jr. (an expert in the Sciences of Criminology and Shooting Things), Mr. Joseph Earl Lee (Lord High Overseer of the Power Grid of the State of Kentucky and expert in the Arts and Sciences of Pyrotechnics), Mr. Christopher Dale Woodrum (Another Brillant Biologist Whose Expertise Tends to Lean Towards the Botanical Sciences), and myself (a mere social scientist and artist).
Upon His Dismissal From the Foreign Legion, Trevor Found Himself to Be Lost and Dismayed
When my brother Trevor Dangerfield Smith was only 13 years old he entered a stage of rebellion common to all early teenagers. Trevor decided that he would prove his personal independence by joining the French Foreign Legion. He did, and was soon well on his way to service in the distant Sahara desert. After four years of service Trevor applied for an early discharge from the the Legion (he had originially signed on for twenty years), which was granted on the condition that he never mention the incident involving his fort's general, a gallon of turpentine, a toliet brush, and a bull camel named Pierre. Trevor was lost upon his return to civilzation and would often wander Bluefield aimless and drunk on anti-freeze. It was then that he met Miss Kim Long. Kim helped Trevor to find his way and rebuild his life in the Appalachians. Yes, Kim Long showed my little brother where his house was. Okay, this is all a lie. Sorry.
The Lee Family: Typical Americans or Pyromaniacs?
So, your tiny little attention span already lettin' you down, eh? Okay, dig. . . here you got three choices. . . choice numero uno: go Home. Choice numero dos: make for the beginning of the Post-Modern Version, and choice numero tres (pay attention, slacker), head right on the beginning of this here 'People' section. . . You got all that? Alright then. . . make for the Motherland, pooner (yeah Krishna, that one, that one is for you. . .). . .
Bluefield is blessed to have a wonderful
establishment for the gathering of friends and, uh, people who aren't friends. Yeah. Its Macado's,
a restaurant/bar place that has great food and an atmosphere that reminds me of Christopher Lloyd's
apartment in Taxi, a combination that's pretty dang hard to beat, if you ask me. Which, of
course, you didn't. Well, all of that has nothing to do with the picture shown here, except that
it was taken there by a waitress who, if I were a betting man, I would bet was over-stressed and
under-tipped by the subjects. On the far left one may note Kooter (known to people who like him
as "Eric Bolton") attempting to lick the ears of Robert Jones, Master Auctioneer. I do not know
why. Then, behind Bob you see a dashing gentleman with glasses and a green shirt. That sexy
man is, ahem, me (yeah, well, it is. . .). Beside of me is Jimmy Adkins. Jimmy is a Marine, and
in his off hours likes to get tattooed, work out, and purchase shirts that are two sizes too small
(in order to make his already hulking body look even bigger, thereby eliminating any chance any
of his peers would have otherwise had of actually meeting girls). Beside of him is John "Horse"
Gunter. John enjoys shooting animals and hitting people with sticks. That's right, he's in the
Virginia Special Police. Finally, we have Michael "Irish" Christian. Irish likes to scream really
loudly for fun. That's it. He's in Britain right now, chillin' like a villian and guarding BDPs
(Big Damn Planes).
In the One Thousand Nine-Hundred and Ninety-Fourth Year of Our Lord some One Hundred and Ten individuals Graduated from the scholastic institution known as Graham High School in the Town of Bluefield, a Municipality of the Commonwealth of Virginia, a State the United States of America. Of these persons, some Five men stand out as having achieved the absolute Finest in Academic and Social Accolades. From Left to Right in this Mechanically Reproduced Print one may find 
When my brother Trevor Dangerfield Smith was only 13 years old he entered a stage of rebellion common to all early teenagers. Trevor decided that he would prove his personal independence by joining the French Foreign Legion. He did, and was soon well on his way to service in the distant Sahara desert. After four years of service Trevor applied for an early discharge from the the Legion (he had originially signed on for twenty years), which was granted on the condition that he never mention the incident involving his fort's general, a gallon of turpentine, a toliet brush, and a bull camel named Pierre. Trevor was lost upon his return to civilzation and would often wander Bluefield aimless and drunk on anti-freeze. It was then that he met Miss Kim Long. Kim helped Trevor to find his way and rebuild his life in the Appalachians. Yes, Kim Long showed my little brother where his house was. Okay, this is all a lie. Sorry.
So, your tiny little attention span already lettin' you down, eh? Okay, dig. . . here you got three choices. . . choice numero uno: go 