A.K.A. Cheap and Easy
That's a phrase we hear from Amanda much too often.
Remember once again. This is all in fun and if it sounds fake, that part probably is.
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| Amanda J. G. Renquist A.K.A. Cheap and Easy |
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| Amanda is the 19-year-old team member who has left an indelible mark on all of our lives, not to be confused with Amanda #1. Whether by cheering us up by sharing the misery and gloom of her world or by simply giving us one of those trademark quips that we�ve come to enjoy, Amanda has made an impression. Amanda is a cruel, sick, and demented young lady. She makes babies cry, children wet themselves, and small woodland creatures seek refuge deep in the forest. For instance, she enjoys pulling the wings off butterflies and poking mighty pill bugs with safety pins �to hear them scream.� Perhaps her cruelty stems from the X-Files. At age 15 she has claimed to have been abducted and violated by twelve-inch gnomes, or very short Asian men. Accordingly, these gnomes or Asians were working in a shampoo camp just south of Egypt. At any rate, these creatures started and helped feed her addiction. Unfortunately Amanda has spent four years of her life popping tic-tacs and snorting pixie sticks. When Amanda is not torturing insects and short Asian men, she is found exploring her sexual side, which she claims, is �very much active.� Often she is watching kinky films by her favorite star, Ron Jeremy, while eating pistachio nut ice cream. This cynical sister doesn�t have a favorite restaurant. �It depends on my cravings� she told us, �For instance when I�m pregnant with a girl, I want to eat at Chili�s. About two years ago when I was pregnant with a boy, I was really in the mood for TGI Fridays. Right now, I think I�m having twins, so I�ve really been eating a lot of Double Mint Gum, not chewing, usually swallowing it.� That's a phrase we hear from Amanda much too often. |
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| **The author of these biographies can be contacted for the writing of term papers and other assorted schoolwork from the hours of midnight until precisely two thirty seven in the morning, inside the second stall of the men�s bathroom of the Denny�s restaurant on Lebanon Church Road. Simply rap three times on the door and slide an unmarked brown paper bag containing the paper�s topic and three hundred dollars in small bills underneath the door. Return in one week�s time for your finished report.** Remember once again. This is all in fun and if it sounds fake, that part probably is. |
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