Remember once again. This is all in fun and if it sounds fake, that part probably is.
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| Michael McElhinny | |||||||||
| A 19-year-old park employee who has been at the same location for almost three years, Mike has been a loyal park employee. Born in 1984, Mike has never fully been able to leave the eighties. He grew up wearing parachute pants and jamming to MC Hammer�s groove. In his youth, Mike actually had his name buzzed on the back of his head and sported a trademark eighties box top hairstyle. He also had his very own Mr. T starter set�which included 14 gold plated chains, bracelets, and rings. By the time he stopped these obscene practices the year was 1998. The end of the extreme eighties worship came only after a serious intervention held by Mike�s closest family and friends. Says brother Jeff �We were all really worried about poor little Mikesy-wikesy, his bed wetting was becoming a bit to extreme and the urine smell was beginning to linger all throughout the house�oops wrong intervention.� His good friend and coworker Ryan also commented on this grave situation, �Michael, Michael Motorcycle, Turn the key and watch him pee.� Presently, Mike is still trapped in this time warp, though not to the extremes as noted in 1998. In actuality, his favorite literary work is 1984 by George Orwell and his favorite radio station is WDVE, particularly the eighties rock. While Mike seems to have overcome this terrible struggle, he still ends up locking the door to his room every night and playing his Journey tape for hours on end before climbing into his �Depends� for a dry night. | |||||||||
| **The author of these biographies can be contacted for the writing of term papers and other assorted schoolwork from the hours of midnight until precisely two thirty seven in the morning, inside the second stall of the men�s bathroom of the Denny�s restaurant on Lebanon Church Road. Simply rap three times on the door and slide an unmarked brown paper bag containing the paper�s topic and three hundred dollars in small bills underneath the door. Return in one week�s time for your finished report.** Remember once again. This is all in fun and if it sounds fake, that part probably is. |
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