Remember once again. This is all in fun and if it sounds fake, that part probably is.
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| Emily Sapp | |||||||||
| The Turnpike�s very own innocent sweetheart whom everyone loves. Emily is the embodiment of prim and properness. She spends her Sunday�s with her "lady friends" sipping tea and eating scones in pale pink polyester skirt suits. After which, Emily and the ladies indulge in a very calm and ladylike croquet game. During these croquet games, Emily admires nature and takes a particular interest in butterflies, which she captures and adds to her collection. During the rest of week, Emily sometimes indulges to momentarily take a keen ear to 96.1 KISS FM. Recently, she was appalled by the lyrics in one of songs she heard. "It�s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. My dear, I certainly would hope that no one would listen to that rubbish and remove their clothing just because of the heat. I know that I would rather perspire slightly than remove my pale pink leisure suit." Emily envisions life as a fairy tale, like Cinderella. One day she hopes to marry a good wholesome boy with good economical and moral values and ideals, similar to Matt Damon. In addition, she also hopes to be an educator, molding the minds of America�s youth and helping end the moral decline. Emily is wished much luck in this area. | |||||||||
| **The author of these biographies can be contacted for the writing of term papers and other assorted schoolwork from the hours of midnight until precisely two thirty seven in the morning, inside the second stall of the men�s bathroom of the Denny�s restaurant on Lebanon Church Road. Simply rap three times on the door and slide an unmarked brown paper bag containing the paper�s topic and three hundred dollars in small bills underneath the door. Return in one week�s time for your finished report.** Remember once again. This is all in fun and if it sounds fake, that part probably is. |
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