Author’s Note: Although Tolkien stated in his books that Elrond’s children had to take ship with him if they were to be of Elfkind, he also wrote: "The end of his sons, Elladan and Elrohir, is not told; they delay their choice, and remain for a while." Letters, #153. His intentions regarding Elladan and Elrohir’s ultimate fates are unknown and it is not clear how he proposed to get around the condition he set pertaining to their choices. But this indicates that there was a chance the twins did not become mortal as their sister did when they decided to linger in Middle-earth after Elrond’s departure. I have taken this literary loophole and used it for my own purposes.
Chapter I
Imladris, Ringarë TA 3018
The hobbits had been nearly two months in the House of Elrond, and November had gone by with the last shreds of autumn, and December was passing, when the scouts began to return. Some had gone north beyond the springs of the Hoarwell into the Ettenmoors; and others had gone west, and with the help of Aragorn and the Rangers had searched the lands far down the Greyflood, as far as Tharbad, where the old North Road crossed the river by a ruined town. Many had gone east and south; and some of these had crossed the Mountains and entered Mirkwood, while others had climbed the pass at the source of the Gladden River, and had come down into Wilderland and over the Gladden Fields and so at length had reached the old home of Radagast at Rhosgobel. Radagast was not there and they had returned over the high pass that was called the Dimrill Stair. The sons of Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir, were the last to return; they had made a great journey, passing down the Silverlode into a strange country, but of their errand they would not speak to any save Elrond.***
Thus, none saw them when they emerged from their father’s study. None witnessed the grim countenance of Elrohir as he nearly stormed down the hall, fists clenched in anger. Close behind him strode Elladan, his expression more anxious than enraged. He spoke urgently to his brother, grasping at his arm to slow him down. But the younger twin would not be dissuaded and purposefully walked on.
Legolas sat up with a start when Elrohir entered his room without preamble, almost slamming the door against the wall in his agitation. Elladan followed in his wake and just managed to grab the door before it did damage to the wall. The prince had been reclining on his bed, reading a book, but now he put it aside and rose swiftly, puzzled by the younger twin’s demeanor.
“Father says you offered to accompany the Hobbit on this Quest,” Elrohir said before the archer could speak. “Is this true?”
Legolas was taken aback by the Elf-knight’s hard tone. “Aye, I did,” he replied.
“Why, Legolas?” the twin demanded. “How could you do this without asking us first? How could you even think to go on so perilous a journey by yourself?”
Taking rare exception to Elrohir’s manner, Legolas felt his ire flare up and he snapped back. “I had not realized I was required to secure your permission to do anything! And I can take care of myself, Elrohir. I am a warrior, not an Elfling in need of guardians!”
Elrohir stared at him, eyes darkening with indefinable emotion. He flushed and his mouth tightened. Without a word, he turned on his heel and would have left but for Elladan’s refusal to move out of the way.
“Nay, muindor”—brother—“do not go,” Elladan softly said. “Legolas does not realize how hard it is for you to let him risk such danger and not be at his side.” He glared at the prince pointedly.
Legolas paled at Elladan’s words. Comprehension came to him and he swiftly repented of his sharp retort to the Elf-knight. Of course Elrohir was upset. He was deeply protective of those he cared for. He reached out to clap a hand on the warrior’s shoulder.
“Forgive me, gwador”—sworn brother—he said regretfully. “I did not mean to speak to you that way.”
When the younger twin declined to turn around or even look at him, a hurt expression flickered across the prince’s face. He glanced at Elladan imploringly.
Seeing the archer’s distress, the older twin murmured something to his brother. At length, Elrohir nodded and turned to face his friend. He had managed to school his features but Legolas could still glimpse a trace of the turmoil in the twilight eyes and he wondered at it. Elladan saw his curiosity and moved to blunt it.
“Why did you make the offer, Legolas?” he asked. “There are so many other Elves for Adar to choose from.”
Distracted by the older twin’s query, Legolas turned his attention to the question. “There isn’t just one reason, Elladan,” he said. “Frodo is the main reason, of course. I want to help him even if ‘tis just for part of the journey.”
“Part of the journey?”
“I told Lord Elrond I was willing to go as far as the passes of the mountains. Mayhap a little further beyond if need be.”
Elladan frowned. “You may be required to go more than just a little further beyond in this Quest. This enterprise is fraught with uncertainty at best. Would you brave Mordor itself?”
Legolas bit his lip. “I do not know,” he admitted. “But I do wish to be of service to Frodo. I cannot bear the thought of that little one going into peril with scarcely any help.” He glanced at Elrohir who had thus remained silent so far. “And I cannot deny that I am drawn by the chance to see more of Middle-earth.”
He caught the Elf-knight’s gaze and held it pleadingly. “You have seen and done so much in your lives. You have sojourned in Lothlórien, ridden in secret with the Rohirrim in the Riddermark, served your kin unrecognized in Gondor and even sailed along the distant shores of Belfalas in Dol Amroth. These places are but names to me yet you know them well, have dwelt amongst the people who call them home. I know this Quest is perilous but it calls to me even as you have been called to errantry to avenge your mother’s torment.” He anxiously studied the silvery pools that gazed back at him steadily. Seeing them soften just the slightest bit, he pressed on. “Should your father choose me to go on this journey, I would dearly wish to do so with your blessings.”
Elrohir held his gaze, making him inexplicably uneasy. “Your explanation does not completely ring true,” the younger twin said at length. At Legolas’ start of surprise, he continued quietly. “Are you certain ‘tis not also because you feel responsible for Gollum’s escape from Mirkwood?”
Now even Elladan stared at him when the latter noted the flush that stained the archer’s cheeks.
“‘Twas you who guarded the creature?” the older twin asked in disbelief. At the prince’s shamefaced nod, he added: “And did your father blame you for his escape?”
Legolas hesitated then shook his head. “Nay, he did not. Nor did he desire for me to bear the news to the council. ‘Twas my decision.” He let out a frustrated exhalation then looked ruefully at Elrohir “You know me too well. Adar put me in charge of guarding Gollum and like a fool I let him escape to do his mischief.”
“You did not let him do anything,” Elrohir demurred firmly. “The forces that threaten our peace are far more powerful and treacherous than anything we have previously known. Please, Calenlass, do not blame yourself when your own father does not.”
Legolas gave him a wan smile. “You balm my wounded pride and sore heart, Elrohir,” he answered gratefully. “Yet what I said earlier was also true. I still would go with the Company and lend aid if I may. I know I am not as formidable a warrior as either of you but I would like to help in this undertaking if only for the honor of the Woodland Realm.”
Elrohir regarded him a little longer then sighed in resignation. “I do not belittle your abilities, Legolas. You are a warrior without peer and I would take umbrage at anyone who would suggest otherwise.” He smiled slightly at the bright gleam of pleasure in the archer’s eyes. “If I was upset, ‘tis because Father refused our request to join the Company as well.” He drew a pensive breath. “If I could not go with you, then I did not want you to go at all.”
Legolas swallowed hard, moved by this evidence of Elrohir’s deep regard for him. “Why did Lord Elrond turn you down?” he asked. “Your presence on this Quest would be most valuable not only to the Ring-bearer but to Mithrandir and Aragorn as well. As I said, you have already seen and done so much. Surely your vast experience would be welcome to all.”
“He turned us down precisely because of all we have seen and done,” Elladan quietly explained. At Legolas’ perplexed reaction, he said: “We are too much Estel and Mithrandir’s equals. Even were Elrohir and I to keep our peace and submit to their every command, there would always be the feeling that we may know more or better and that might lead to dissension amongst the Company. Estel, in particular, would be hindered by this and he should not be if he is to fulfill his destiny.”
He gave Legolas a look that was equal parts fondness and envy. “You, on the other hand, for all your years, are still an innocent compared even to our foster brother. You would not question his or Mithrandir’s decisions, would not make them feel inadequate or unsure of their choices. And you would not unwittingly cause others to question their judgment as we might. Yet you are also their friend and would not blindly follow them into ruin but reach out and hold them back if need be.”
Legolas fell silent for a space as he considered Elladan’s words. He glanced at Elrohir surreptitiously and caught the raw pain in the other’s eyes before he could veil them. He caught his breath at the sight and felt the hurt resound in his own heart though he did not understand why. He turned to the younger twin and took his hands in his, savoring the barely restrained power in the deceptively slender fingers.
“There is no surety that Lord Elrond will choose me,” he said softly. “But if he does, know that ‘tis from you that I will find the wherewithal to endure whatever comes my way. Ever have you been a source of strength and courage to me, Elf-knight. I cannot conceive of life deprived of your presence.”
Elrohir visibly trembled at the heartfelt utterance. He did not speak at once, not trusting his voice to see him through, but when he finally did, he murmured, “Nor can I.” He ignored Elladan’s sharp glance at him and added, “I will not stand in your way, Legolas, if this is your desire.”
The smile that lit up the archer’s face was small comfort under the circumstances but comfort nevertheless and the younger twin managed a smile of his own. He did not let it falter until Legolas swept him into a grateful hug. Elladan saw his eyes then, the windows of his soul, and shivered at the darkness and sorrow in the pewter depths.
******
Sitting up in bed, he held in his hand Nimeithel’s precious letter delivered to him by Legolas upon his arrival two months ago. He had not had the chance to read it until now what with his and Elrohir’s sudden journey to the Golden Wood. Upon their return, he had read and re-read it, savoring the love and succor he found in her tender message.
But even the letter could not dispel the feeling of impending loss that raced through his veins ever so often. He sighed.
For several years after the near demise of his friendship with Legolas and their subsequent reconciliation, Elrohir had seemed content enough, even happy with the way things were. Elladan was well aware of the reason behind his brother’s blitheness. How could he not be when he’d learned that his desire at least was returned?
But then Legolas had backed away once more, discomposed by his strong physical attraction to his best friend and his undeniable need for his continued regard. It was as if his confession had triggered anew the fears and doubts he’d always harbored when faced with anything that invited his heart’s involvement. And there was no denying that his last encounter with Elrohir had verged on that.
Despite his admission, he had shied from further intimacy with Elrohir. Had shown every sign of discomfort at the memory of their last coupling. Had even gone to the extent of avoiding any allusion to it, leading the brethren to conclude that he would rather put it behind him if he could.
It was no wonder his twin had not told the prince the truth about his feelings. With Legolas so skittish about the matter, who knew how he would react? Mindful as ever of the archer’s feelings, Elrohir had quietly veiled his and retreated once more behind the walls of pretence.
Elladan understood the need for silence. Still, there were times when he wished his brother would cast prudence by the wayside and declare his love. And almost immediately after worry about the consequences of such a declaration.
Not that Elrohir would heed him. He had already resigned himself to his fate, bleak and hopeless as it was. And there lay the source of Elladan’s fears.
They had been allayed for a brief while during the twins’ stay in Lórien but now, faced once more with Elrohir’s unremitting sorrow, Elladan could not set them aside so easily. Particularly when certain choices were now at hand and his brother’s decisions could all be too easily influenced by his despair.
With a frustrated growl, he rose from his bed and, laying Nimeithel’s letter on his bedside table, strode out to seek peace elsewhere. In the garden mayhap, under the balming light of his grandsire’s starry gaze.
Which was where Gandalf found him an hour later. The wizard, too, had found sleep elusive and had slipped out for a late night stroll. Discovering Elrond’s older son seated on one of the stone benches around the garden’s perimeter, he immediately discerned that more than sleeplessness had driven Elladan out into the chill night. He sauntered to the warrior.
“Having trouble sleeping?” he softly inquired when Elladan looked up at his approach.
The older twin smiled wanly and nodded. “And you, Mithrandir? Does the same dilemma bring you out here?”
Gandalf chuckled, a trace of weariness limning his mirth. “The dilemma is the same but not the cause. I worry about a most intrepid hobbit.”
Elladan had to grin. “A valiant little one, the young Baggins,” he agreed. “I can see why Bilbo favored him amongst all his kin. They are much alike.”
“As you and Elrohir are alike,” Gandalf mused. “Yet your fates may yet differ.” At Elladan’s startled expression, he gently added: “For that is the reason for your present anxiety, is it not?”
Elladan shook his head. “How you know this things...” He looked at the Istar gravely then patted the space beside him. Gandalf sank down on the proffered spot and returned his gaze. Elladan said: “The time draws near when we must choose our path. To leave Middle-earth with Father or be as Arwen and cleave to mortal-kind.”
Gandalf nodded knowingly. “And have you made your decision?” he asked with the tone of one who already knew the answer.
“I have.”
The wizard smiled approvingly. “Good. That should keep Thranduil from calling out your father on account of his daughter’s honor,” he remarked.
Elladan stared at him, startled. “I had not thought that he disapproved of our relationship,” he said with a frown.
Gandalf smiled. “He does not. But neither can he bear to see his only daughter love in vain.” He looked pointedly at the older twin. “When next you set foot in the Woodland Realm, I suggest you have a proposal ready. Thranduil will not stand for any delays once he learns of your choice!”
Elladan laughed softly. “If the shadow does not overtake us,” he murmured, “I will try to appease him.”
Gandalf’s smile saddened. “Yet another reason holds you back from joining with Nimeithel,” he commented. “You are torn between fulfilling your desire and protecting your brother.”
Elladan bit his lip. “Neither of us wishes to depart Middle-earth with Adar if it is too soon in the future. This is our home, the land of our birth and joys and suffering. But if we must to be of Elf-kind...” He sighed with even greater melancholy. “Nimeithel is not ready to leave either and I would not force her. She has even less reason to forsake Middle-earth for a place she only knows as legend. But if we were to be bound before I must go, we could bear the parting. Our hearts would hold us steady while we awaited our reunion in Aman. But Elrohir...”
Gandalf said nothing but looked at him encouragingly. And so he continued.
“You know of his love?”
“I have long suspected it.”
“Then you also know why he might choose the Gift of Men.”
“Aye, that is quite apparent.”
Elladan stared into the shadows of the thick shrubbery that edged the garden where moon and starlight did not penetrate.
“Our twinship keeps him from waning,” he said quietly. “I have kept his flame burning with my love and support since I first suspected his passion. But with my heart more and more in Nimeithel’s keeping, I cannot lend him as much strength as before. Already our bond is less than what it once was.” He looked at Gandalf sorrowfully. “He is valorous, more than any Elf that now lives I wager, but even he cannot stave off the failing of his spirit indefinitely.”
“He might find peace and healing in Valinor,” Gandalf said.
“Nay, he will not. He has turned inward to his own steadfast heart for strength and forbearance.” Elladan swallowed hard. “Should I wed Nimeithel, ‘twill be that alone that will sustain him,” he said painfully. “He will live by the sheer force of the knowledge that in friendship at least he may call Legolas his. Were they to be parted for Elbereth knows how long and with no certitude of reunion, if he were to no longer feel their bond of brotherhood... that would be as exile to him. He would fade even in the Blessed Realm.”
Gandalf let out a heavy sigh. He had wondered about Elrohir’s endurance, had guessed at what had sustained him all these centuries in the face of unrequited love. But he had not realized how deep the younger twin’s feelings ran or how great his despair had grown in recent years. Elladan’s grief was understandable. Either his twin would fade or he would choose as his sister and die a mortal death.
Long had he guarded the Powers’ latest decree regarding the Peredhil, unwilling to let it influence and mayhap change for the worse what had been foretold in ages past. But now that Aragorn and Arwen were promised to each other...
“There will be no need to take ship with your father if ‘tis not yet your desire,” he said.
Elladan started then stared at him. “What do you mean?” he asked sharply.
Gandalf gently explained: “‘Your heart’s desire, your spirit’s yearning will hold you to your chosen fate. Just as your sister will become of Mortal-kind by cleaving to Aragorn so may you linger in Middle-earth and still be of Elfkind by binding yourself to one of your kindred. There will be no need for the formality of the vows of espousal to seal your choice for the Powers already know your heart. All that is required is a declaration before them to sanctify it.”
He paused to allow Elladan to draw much needed breath then pressed on. “They to whom you pledge your hearts and spirits will stand in your father’s stead and so long as they abide in Middle-earth, you will have the youth of the Eldar. And when they depart you will perforce take ship with them to make your eternal abodes in Elvenhome.”
Elladan was rendered speechless for the longest while. When he did find his tongue, it was all he could do not to grab the wizard by his beard in his agitation.
“You knew this all these centuries!” he exclaimed. “Why did you not tell us? Arwen—!”
“Had to fulfill her destiny,” Gandalf finished softly. “Think you she would have changed her mind once her heart made its choice?”
Elladan’s anger dissipated. “But you feared we would force our wishes upon her,” he said.
The Istar nodded. “I had to choose between the grief of one family and the destiny of an entire kingdom of Men. ‘Twas not a simple thing to hold my tongue on this matter. Elrond...”
He left it at that. But Elladan understood. His father, for all his wisdom, might have set it aside in the compulsion to keep his children from treading his brother’s path.
“I will take care of telling Adar after you leave,” he quietly offered.
Gandalf’s tired features lit up in gratitude. Meanwhile, Elladan had cause to smile in elation.
“Nimeithel and I need not part!” he said happily. But just as swiftly, his joy dwindled as he recalled his twin. He shook his head in renewed sorrow. “I may still dissuade him from making our sister’s choice. But if what you have told me is the means by which Elrohir may remain in these lands past Father’s leaving, then ‘tis of no matter. Legolas may never be ready to bind himself to anyone, much less another ellon.”— male Elf. “My brother will be doomed either way and we will lose him.”
Gandalf pursed his lips. “I did not say that Legolas must bind to him as well,” he gently reminded the other.
Elladan gaped at the wizard. “Are you saying that... he may pledge himself... even without Legolas’ knowledge?” he demanded disbelievingly.
Gandalf nodded. “‘Tis the choice of his heart that will seal his fate.”
Elladan blew his breath out. “That is a most difficult choice,” he said. “The uncertainty...”
“Means he still may hope,” the wizard concluded. “None of us can know for certain what the future holds. Time and destiny are much too fluid. But ‘tis hope that will help us persevere even in the darkest of days. Your brother is strong of heart, Elladan. Indeed, stronger than any I have yet known in all my long years. ‘Tis a virtue worthy of great reward.”
Elladan regarded him gravely. “And will he receive his reward?” he mused. “Do the Powers take notice of mere matters of the heart?”
Gandalf smiled. “They take notice,” he answered. “For the matters of the heart have dictated the course of history far more often than any choices of conscious thought.”
*************
Glossary:
Ringarë – Quenya for December
***Quoted from LoTR: Fellowship of the Ring, Book 2, Chapter 3: The Ring Goes South.