The Unofficial Smilie Dictionary

 :-)   Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or
       joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
 ;-)   Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark.
       More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.
 :-(   Frowning smilie. User did not like that last statement or is upset
       or depressed about something.
 :-I   Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as
       good as a happy smilie
 :->   User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
 >:->  User just made a really devilish remark.
 >;->  Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.
 
 Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:
 
 :-)X  Upper crusty (he wears a tie)
 (-:   User is left handed
 %-)   User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
 :*)   User is drunk
 [:]   User is a robot
 8-)   User is wearing sunglasses
 B:-)  Sunglasses on head
 ::-)  User wears normal glasses
 B-)   User wears horn-rimmed glasses
 8:-)  User is a little girl
 :-)-8 User is a Big girl
 :-{)  User has a mustache
 :-{}  User wears lipstick
 {:-)  User wears a toupee
 }:-(  Toupee in an updraft
 :-[   User is a Vampire
 :-E   Bucktoothed vampire
 :-F   Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
 :-7   User juust made a wry statement
 :-*   User just ate something sour
 :-)~  User drools
 :-~)  User has a cold
 :'-(  User is crying
 :'-)  User is so happy, s/he is crying
 :-@   User is screaming
 :-#   User wears braces
 :^)   User has a broken nose
 :v)   User has a broken nose, but it's the other way
 :<)   User is from an Ivy League School
 :-&   User is tongue tied.
 =:-)  User is a hosehead
 --:-) User is a punk rocker
 --:-( Real punk rockers don't smile
 --O)  Happy punk rock robot
 --O(  Unhappy punk rock robot
 :=)   User has two noses
 +-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
 `:-)  User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
 ,:-)  Same thing...other side
 |-I   User is asleep
 |-O   User is yawning/snoring
 :-Q   User is a smoker
 :-?   User smokes a pipe
 o-)   Cyclops
 x-)   Dead Cyclops
 /-)   Winking Cyclops
 c-)   Same thing other way
 |-)   Sleeping Cyclops
 *-)   Blindfolded Cyclops
 o-)8  Lady Cyclops
 O-)   Megaton Man On Patrol!  (or else, user is a scuba diver)
 !|    Help! The Cylons are coming!!! (thanks, Doug)
 =>:>  Horny Devil
 O :-) User is an angel (at heart, at least)
 :-P   Nyahhhh!
 :-S   User just made an incoherent statement
 :-D   User is laughing (at you!)
 :-X   User's lips are sealed
 :-C   User is reaally bummed
 <|-)  User is Chinese
 <|-(  User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
 :-/   User is skeptical
 C=:-) User is a chef
 @=    User is pro-nuclear war
 :-o   Uh oh!
 (8-o  It's Mr. Bill!
 *:o)  And Bozo the Clown!
 3:]   Pet smilie
 3:[   Mean Pet smilie
 E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator
 :-9   User is licking his/her lips
 %-6   User is braindead
 [:-)  User is wearing a walkman
 (:I   User is an egghead
 <:-I  User is a dunce
 @:-)  User is wearing a turban
 :-0   No Yelling!  (Quiet Lab)
 :-:   Mutant Smilie
 .-)   User only has one eye
 ,-)   Ditto...but he's winking
 X-(   User just died
 8 :-) User is a wizard
 C=}>;*{))  Mega-Smilie... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in 
        an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin
 
 Note: A lot of these can be typed without noses to make midget smilies.

 :)  Midget smilie
 :]  Gleep...a friendly midget smilie who will gladly be your friend

This page is written at April 19, 1996.