TITLE: A Friend   

AUTHOR: Eral C.

CATEGORY: MSR, Scully angst. Another S9 absent Mulder 
story. It's all that I seem to be churning out right now. 

DISCLAIMER:I wish they were mine - I'd make them *so* happy - 
but sadly, I can claim no ownership. 

SUMMARY: Scully gets a visitor.

COMMENTS: Again, I find myself drawn to the possible misery of
S9, even though I'm not watching. This one is Monica POV- never 
done that before, didn't really intend to do it this time, it 
just happened.

FEEDBACK: Yes, please to eral_c@hotmail.com
This story and all my others can be found co-habiting at
http://www.geocities.com/eral_c


A Friend by Eral C.


I'm standing outside in her hallway wondering what on 
earth compelled me to come here tonight. I may have 
been on hand to witness her miracle almost a month ago 
but we're hardly at the point where I'd refer to us as 
friends. The few times I met her before then, she never 
seemed to need any friends, never seemed receptive to 
opening herself up to anyone new. I don't mean that she's 
rude or cold or any of the other things that I know people 
say about her. It's just that I truly think that she had 
everything she could possibly need in one package - 
friendship, companionship, love - and although I don't 
know where or why, I *do* know that he's gone. 

I've seen her only once since we returned from Georgia, 
Agent Doggett and I brought a gift for the baby a couple 
of days after he was born. We stayed a little while, 
made small talk and cooed over the baby, who slept in 
his father's arms the whole time. That was the last time 
I saw her.

Until today. I saw her today at Quantico - she didn't see 
me, in fact I don't think she saw anyone, she was standing 
in the parking lot, in the pouring rain and I have never 
seen anyone look so lost, so totally lonely. I could almost 
sense her sadness, it was like looking at half a person, and 
it just about broke my heart. *That* is why I'm knocking on 
her door, it was that image of her that brought me here. I 
doubt she'll admit it but I think she needs a friend.

She answers the door and her eyebrows raise just slightly,

"Agent Reyes."

"Hi. I'm not disturbing you, am I?"

She takes a step back, opening the door a little wider as 
she shakes her head.

"No, not at all. Um, come on in."

"Thanks."

I step inside and, without turning around, I hear her close 
the door behind me. I am deciding what to say, whether to 
explain to her why I'm here, when she speaks,

"I was just about to make myself some tea. Would you like 
some? Or coffee maybe?"

"Tea would be great, thanks."

As she brushes past me and heads for the kitchen, I notice 
for the first time how tiny she is, how different she looks 
in casual clothes. I guess I must have known she was only 
small but she has such a presence at work, such an air of 
confidence, that it didn't really register until now. Tonight 
though, dressed in a fitted white t-shirt and a pair of black 
pants that look just slightly too big, she looks very small 
and much thinner than I would expect a brand new mother to 
look.

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing here."

She looks up from her task and gives me a small questioning 
smile, although she says nothing. So, I go on,

"I saw you at Quantico today, Dana."

"Oh? You should have come up and said hi."

"You didn't see me. I was just coming into the parking lot 
and you were on your way out, I think."

She nods her acknowledgement as she walks towards me with 
two steaming mugs of tea. I follow her into the living room 
and we sit down. I notice the baby monitor on the table behind 
the couch so I assume he is sleeping.

"How's William?"

Ah, this gets me a smile, a real one this time,

"He's great, he's doing really well."

"Good, that's good. How are *you*, Dana?"

The smile is gone as quickly as it arrived and she looks 
down into her mug as though it holds all of life's secrets. 
For a few long seconds, I don't think she's going to answer me 
but then she looks up, her intense blue eyes somehow appearing 
bigger than usual, if that were at all possible. 

"I'm fine, I guess. I mean..."

She drifts off mid sentence and stares off in front of her, 
a far away look in her eyes. I pull my eyes away from her and 
as I take a sip of my drink, the phone rings, startling us 
both. She lunges for it and I marvel at how she manages to 
avoid spilling hot tea everywhere.

"Hello?...hold on a second."

She stands and turns to me, "Sorry, I'll just be a few minutes."

I nod and she heads into what is presumably her bedroom and 
closes the door behind her. I hear her voice, softly say 
"Hey" and I'm thrown momentarily until I realise that the 
baby monitor is still switched on. I should probably turn it 
off but I can't bring myself to do it, I don't know why but 
I just can't. So I listen - guiltily - but I listen, 
nonetheless. 

"Agent Reyes is here...."

"I don't know really, she just stopped by...."

"I'm ok, Mulder...."

It *is* him! I thought as much by the way she couldn't grab 
the phone quickly enough then looked sheepishly at me as she 
crept into the bedroom. So, if he's still calling, it can't 
have been an acrimonious parting, there has to be more to it 
than a simple break up. Not that it's any of my business, of 
course. I try not to listen but I keep hearing snatches of the 
conversation - one sided obviously but I can pretty much fill 
in the blanks.

"He's good, really good...."

"He snores sometimes...."

"Well, he doesn't get it from me!...."

"I know, I miss you too...."

"I'm not crying...."

She's not being entirely truthful here but she's trying hard, 
she really is. Even without seeing her face, I can tell by the 
sound of her voice that she is desperately trying to hold it 
together.

"Already?...."

"I will. I promise...."

"I love you too."

I concentrate again on my tea and it's a minute or two before 
I hear the door close softly and see her come back into the 
room and put the phone back onto it's cradle. She's definitely 
been crying but she forces a small smile,

"Sorry. My mom."

I'm not going to say a thing. I don't need to because the 
first time William makes a sound she's going to be aware that 
I know it wasn't her mother on the phone.

"So, how does it feel to be back at work?"

"You know, it's strange. It feels so different. I guess 
nothing feels the same anymore..."

For the second time since I arrived, she fails to complete 
her sentence, leaving me to wonder how on earth she's coping 
back at work with a concentration span that seems to have all 
but deserted her. At that point, it happens. William starts to 
do exactly what she was telling his father about just a few 
minutes earlier - he begins to snore, a loud snore for one so 
small. She sighs and closes her eyes for a split second, 

"I guess you know that wasn't my mom on the phone."

"I guess so."

She interrupts me,

"He didn't leave because he wanted to, it was the last thing 
he wanted to do. There were...threats and it seemed like the 
best thing for a while."

"I'm sorry."

She nods but doesn't look at me, so I go on,

"Do you know where he is, Dana?"

She shakes her head and tugs at her bottom lip with her teeth,

"I have no idea."

She pauses but just for a second, when she starts to speak 
again her voice is small, she sounds like a lost child.

"I miss him." 

I don't know what to say, what to do, I feel completely 
helpless. She needs the one person she doesn't have and 
although I can't make things any better, I have to try, 
I can't just sit here while her heart breaks right next to 
me. I reach over and rest my hand on her arm and although 
she stiffens slightly, she doesn't pull away. It surprises 
me somehow when she starts to speak again, 

"I miss his eyes, his hands, his voice, I even miss arguing 
with him. I miss seeing him hold his son. It's not fair, 
it shouldn't have to be this way."

There is nothing I can say to her, nothing I can do to lift 
the cloud of despair that suddenly seems to sit heavy on her 
shoulders so for a couple of minutes, we both sit in silence, 
until a cry comes from the baby monitor and jolts us back into 
the moment. We both stand at the same time and I take the empty 
mug from her hands,

"You get him settled, I'll take these to the kitchen on my way
out."

I put both our mugs into the sink and head for the door. I 
hear her behind me, so I pause, sensing she has something to 
say.

"Agent Reyes-"

I cut her off, 

"Please Dana, it's Monica. OK?"

She smiles slightly before she speaks again,

"Monica?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

The smile she gives me seems to carry a tiny flicker of hope 
or certainly the closest thing to it I've seen all night. I 
step out into the hallway and close the door behind me, leaning 
back against the cool wood as I make a declaration to myself that 
whether Dana Scully thinks she needs a friend or not, she's got 
one.


END