The best-selling autotheography by the deity Him/Herself
Excerpt from the back cover:
Even as a godling, I knew I was different. I just never felt as comfortable in my divine skin as the other gods. I simply could not content myself with being the goddess of women, fertility, the sky and love. Yes, those are all very nice in small quantities, but I wanted more. I wanted more power, greater freedom, from the intolerable restrictions placed on women. Yes, I was of course a goddess, but I was still above all a female, and it would never have done for me to indulge in all my desires. I admit it, I had these wild cravings for blood I could not control. Re got to slay evil serpents, Horus slew his own uncle, and even Isis got to kill the odd scopion, but every time I tried to kill something they said no, Hathor, you're supposed to be the gentle goddess. I think what really tipped me off to my true nature were my feelings for Bastet. Finally, I just got sick of it. I said to myself, Hathor, You're a divine for cryin' out loud, if You're not happy, do something about it. So I changed Myself into a male god and moved to Iceland. Granted, it's not the Nile, but there's some nice scenery, and I'm finally happy. I'm much more respected as a god than I ever was as some namby-pamby goddess, and they let me smash skulls with this nifty hammer. It's really great. Now worship me, you filthy mortal, or at least buy the book now that you've gotten it all nasty and grubby.
Good god! A practical guide to placating the wrathful demigods and deities in your life
by Melinda Nowal
Offended any daemons lately? You poor schmuck! This book has everything you ever needed to know to appease even the most irked deity (WARNING: may not work on manifestations of pure evil). Special techniques on incense use, blood sacrifice (human and otherwise), shrine maintenance, ritual chants, and much more are described in easy-to-follow detail, with full color illustrations.
My god! A practical guide for the mortal women of lesser gods
by Melinda Nowal
Whether you're a nubile warrior maiden or just a princess locked in a high tower, this book is for you. This is a must-have for any girl who has ever wanted to be ravished by an immortal. Special tips for catching His eye, dealing with angry kinsmen, and rapid transformations into inanimate objects should you change your mind. New this edition: "Cassandra Speaks: Birth Control: Don't Even Try It."
Invisibility and You: Complete Transparency in Three Easy Steps with Common Household Ingredients
by Darrien Fawkes
Have you ever had one of those days when you just want to disappear? Now you can! Attain the magical state of invisibilty after a crummy day at work or school and cheer yourself up with a free trip to the movies, an amusement park, or the locker room of your choice. Includes a bonus CD with such classic invisble hits as "Mr. Cellophane,"
Cookbook of the Second Coming
by Nick Ragnarok
Imagine the world has come to an end. Nothing is left on the planet but molten rock and cockroaches. What would you eat? This handy book tells you how to subsist on nothing but your wits and energy particles captured by a subspace frequency modulator. Includes recipes based on the cuisines of Mexico, China, Canada, and outer Mongolia. Atkins-friendly.
Grow Your Own Frost Giants
by Barry Fjord
Create new life from the beautiful Icelandic landscape, then set them to battle against one another! Hours of fun for the whole family. The author accepts no responsibility for personal harm, property damage, or international conflicts caused by improper use of this product, and urges you to practice responsible warfare.
The Yellow Brick Road of Tao
by Carma Sett
Follow the Path to the Wonderful Wizard and find your heart's desire. This handy reference book will tell you everything you need to know to achieve oneness with yourself and the Universe around you, as well as useful hints on melting any evil witches that get in your way. Follow, follow, follow, follow . . .
