Elizabeth Pomerantz                                1/10/03
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter Task III Essay

As people grow older, they change and develop, especially children. Inevitably, the relationships children have with their parents either strengthen or retrogress depending on how much both the child and the parents are willing to work towards their kinship. The novel, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, by Carson McCullers and the essay, "No More Lollipops," by Debra Adams, both explore the father- daughter relationships of two girls and how these relationships change as the girls mature into young women. Each piece gives a different insight into the relationships, while in The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, the daughter, Mick, begins to develop an intimate relationship with her father as she matures, and Debra, the woman who wrote "No More Lollipops," reverts in a relationship with her father as she grows older.
    The connection between Debra and her father disintegrate as time progresses. As a young girl, she loves to spend time with her father and feel his care and protection. Debra described her strong love for her father when she said, "And it seemed like nothing pleased me more that that ride on my father’s shoulders, night after night." Not only is Debra close to her father as a young girl but she also feels she has a relationship with him that neither one of them could have with anyone else. She portrayed their profound feelings for each other in the following passage, "And I would try to laugh, and he would give me a little grin that meant this was our little secret." The fact that Debra holds something in confidence with her father, displays the idea that they share an extraordinary bond. As part of growing up, Debra faces the challenge of taking care of herself. She feels the lack of her father's shelter and as she did not need her father to care for her any longer, she felt the drifting of their bond. She exhibits her dramatic feelings when she wrote, "I don’t know when it stopped. It seems I just woke up one morning and I was no longer my daddy’s little girl." Debra feels even more insecure about their current weak kinship because she was not expecting it. While she realizes her development into a young woman, she also contemplates what is expected of her. She describes how she now is responsible for herself and can no longer have her father take care of her the way he did when she was young. She feels as though she has experienced a great loss and writes, "And now if I am hurt, if I need to cry, there is no more little girl left in me to run to daddy." Debra experiences a feeling of insecurity and confusion concerning her future without her father's protection.
    Although "No More Lollipops" and The Heart is a Lonely Hunter are similar in that they both discuss the relationship between fathers and daughters as the daughters develop into adults, the relationships in each piece of literature take a different course. Both the daughters, in the two pieces of literary works, at some point, struggle in their relationship with their father. Debra feels that as she grows into an adult, they become more distant, because she cannot depend on her father any longer. Mick also undergoes a battle with her bond with her father when she is young and cannot comprehend her father and what he wants from Mick.

While Mick and Debra both face a struggle, they struggle for different reasons. Mick fails to understand her father as a young girl because she does not consider what he wants but as she grows older, she realizes what she must do to aid in the development of their relationship by catering to his needs. Mick learns of her father's loneliness and responds to it by remaining in his presence when he calls her name. She displays her patience in the following passage, "Now she just suddenly knew that she knew about her dad. He was lonesome and he was an old man…She stayed with him a good while that night." (p 85-86) Mick learns that she must sacrifice her time to better their relationship.

Debra, in contrast to Mick, does not once consider her father's feelings but only considers her wants and how as she loses her father's security with time. She has a great yearning for her childhood protection from her father, which makes their relationship decline. Debra presents her feeling of misfortune when she wrote, "From him, no more hugs, no more kisses, no more pride in his voice when he introduced me to clients or temple members while I shyly hid behind a leg." Although Debra recognizes her feelings towards their relationship she never takes into consideration her father’s perception of the change.

Despite the fact that at some point in both of the girls’ lives they possess strong kinships with their fathers, they experience different types of relationships. Debra experiences a more playful type of attachment. Debra and her father most often communicate through fun and games, as most young children do with their parents. She portrays this idea when she stated, "He would add that I must have flown down those stairs because he couldn’t figure out how else I could have reached the couch without his knowing. And it seemed like nothing pleased me more than to ride on my father’s shoulders, night after night." Debra’s father would joke with Debra and give her thrills, which became the basis of their relationship. Mick’s connection to her father, in contrast to the one between Debra and Debra’s father, developed on the basis of intellectual discussion. Mick discusses the first account in which she really feels that she understands her father in the following passage when the author stated,

Mick’s father feels lonesome and needs the security of another person’s company. Mick listens to her father and from then on she begins to feel a stronger attachment towards him. She even considers sharing her inner thoughts with him, evidence that they have developed a stronger connection.

Although some people may fear change and others may embrace it, inevitably, change occurs. In order to benefit oneself to the greatest extent, one must adapt to current situations that come their way. When great deals of children develop into young adults, their relationships with their parents change because they become more independent. If both parents and their children adjust their wants so that they make accommodations, like Mick, the relationship will only grow stronger; however, if one side fails to make adjustments, then the relationship will recede, just as Debra’s relationship with her father regressed.