Triad Pleasures and Problems
"Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity." -- George Bernard Shaw
Like traditional relationships, each one of our triads has been different. A couple of them were with women who were waiting for the right man to get involved with in a traditional dyad. (“I want my own George,” the last one said.) We have never lived full-time with a woman. Our first girlfriend spent most weekends with us for about 6 months, and we spent some delicious weeks at the beach together. We’ve always all slept in the same bed – we have a “California King” which is as wide as a standard king but longer, so we can all fit comfortably. Sometimes Gracie goes elsewhere to sleep because it’s just too stimulating to be next to two lovers at once. We have a tub that’s large enough for all of us, too.
The problems have been pretty much the same ones as in any relationship – communicating enough to avoid misunderstandings, jealousy, and differing needs for alone time. (Gracie needs a fair amount of time alone, and will reliably need a few-hours break from the rest of us after about a day and a half of full engagement. George needs about an hour a week.)
The pleasures? They’re many. Gracie relishes being around female energy, being able to communicate in that unique way women do. She also likes to be cooked for. She enjoys pampering a girlfriend the way she’s always wanted to be pampered – gifts, poems, surprises, lingerie, unexpected extra sweetness. George likes to say she plays at being a boy. She does love having a best girlfriend on the premises daily. George loves getting and giving extra attention.
Our partners love our lifestyle, which you could call sophisticated and elegant. We love being out in public as a threesome, radiating a joy, a liveliness, and a sexiness that you can just feel makes the people around us wonder. (Gracie loves being publicly affectionate with her lovers.) We love the dynamics among three people. Gracie says that we all behave more civilized, because there’s almost always an audience for any little confrontations.
We’ve always included our lovers in our family events. We like small dinner parties, but for Thanksgiving, Easter, Passover, and the occasional birthday we’ll have 10-15 people around the table, and our gatherings are usually fascinating.
And, yes, we love the sex. The simple joys
of a three-way kiss with tongues make Gracie swoon. George is an artist at
lovemaking, and makes full use of the extra canvas a second lover provides.
Many weekend days we’d regret that there’s no place to get breakfast in our
town at
In summary, as we say elsewhere in these
pages, the pleasures and problems with a triad are like those with a marriage,
only more so. As with a dyadic relationship, if the good stuff outweighs the
bad stuff once the "love mania" stage is past, and if all involved
are committed to integrity and personal growth, the relationship can last a
happy lifetime (or three).
