The Ringwraiths

THE

USICAL

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The Ringwraiths...

The Witch-King of Angmar:
     The other Ringwraith's boss. He's a mean, nasty, grouchy old man with gout and a permanent migraine who just wants to catch those damn Hobbits so he can go back to bed. Unfortunately for him, he gets killed.

Ringwraith #1 (Joe):
     The "class clown" who never really fits in and doesn't even like his job very much. He doesn't really know why he works for Sauron. His greatest ambition is to run away and join the circus. Preferably as a trapeeze artist.

Ringwraith #2 (Bob):
     He hates his life and his job so much that he's constantly drunk. Not good for more than a word or two here and there. And he's usually unconscious by the time the other Ringwraiths head out to hunt Hobbits, so what does he have to complain about? Although if Sauron ever decides to cut someone from the payroll, he'll be the first to go.

Ringwraith #3 (Frank):
     The misfit. He likes his job. He thinks it's the best thing ever to happen to him. Working for Sauron broadens his horizons and boosts his self-esteem. None of the other Ringwraiths like him very much, except possibly the Witch-King.

Ringwraith #4 (Randy):
     The plant-lover who just wants to redecorate Minas Morgul. He'd love his job, if only Sauron had some fashion sense. He was destined to be an interior decorator but wound up being a Nazgul instead. Poor fellow. If only he'd gone to college...

Ringwraith #5 (Arnie):
     He's the mean one. He doesn't like orcs, he doesn't like Uruk-Hai, he doesn't like wizards, and he definitely hates elves. Not the sharpest crayon in the box, either. The others tread around him carefully, but he's sort of taken Ringwraith #1 under his wing as a protegee. Almost rivals the Witch-King in grouchy-old-man-ness.

Ringwraith #6 (Harry):
     The old gossip. Nothing gets past him. An orc gets a tattoo, he'll know the exact longitude and latitude of it within half an hour. He's especially up-to-date on his fellow Ringwraiths, and is therefore avoided like the plague. None of them really like him knowing who they're dating etc. His favorite target is Ringwriath #7.

Ringwraith #7 (Stan):
     The follower. Special talent: obeying every order to the letter. He's a sort of ambiguous chap; no one really knows whether or not he likes his job, so no one really knows how to talk to him. Very quiet and shy, and would never hurt a fly. His one interesting aspect is that he thinks Sauron should give the Ringwraiths Christmas bonuses..

Ringwraith #8 (Fred):
     You'll never hear this one say anything; he's too busy staring at the Witch-King, with whom he is madly in love. Pretty much incompetent because he's so lovesick and obsessed.