buckle statuette beside the back left part of the stage. The statuette is of a ringpost with 3 turnbuckles on it, with the ropes jutting out from each side. To the back right is a large video screen, still playing the opening montage. The stage looks very similar to the one used by the WWF for the Slammies. It is surrounded by ropes on three sides, with a podium at the front, and a set of steps leading up to the stage. The IWF/WOW logo is on the front of the podium. To the left side of the stage is a small jazz band. There are 8 members of the band, all holding instruments, except for the drummer. On the front of the bass drum reads "The Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet". All of the band members are in tuxedos. There are 6 men, and two woman, 7 of them look to be in their mid to late twenties. The other looks around 40 or so, with thick glasses, and is the only one wearing a white tux. There is a white card attached to the bottom of his saxophone that reads "Squeaky". In front of the stage is where the tables are set up. All of the IWF/WOW roster is in attendance, and almost all of them are in tuxedos.] Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome your host for tonight's festivities, Mr Anthony Edwards!!! [Edwards comes out from behind a curtain to the right of the stage. He is dressed in a black tuxedo, with a red bowtie and red cumberbund, and his dark blond hair is neatly styled. Edwards walks up behind the podium and grabs the microphone.] Anthony Edwards: Welcome everyone to the 2001 IWF/WOW GOLDEN TURNBUCKLES!!!! [The crowd cheers] Anthony Edwards: The Golden Turnbuckles are awarded based on balloting done with the entire IWF/WOW staff, the wrestlers, and independant media. Tonight, as we do each year, we will be presenting awards for Wrestler of the Year, The Most Popular Wrestler, The Most Hated, The Tag Team of the Year, The Match of the Year, The Feud of the Year, The Sexiest Female of the Year [cat calls from the crowd], The Pay Per View Event of the Year, and we will also be inducting a new member into the IWF/WOW Hall of Fame. [The crowd cheer as Edwards pauses.] Anthony Edwards: Now for the part of this show, that I, and most of you dread. As is customary, I will be doing an opening musical number to kick off the show... Crowd [Including Wrestlers]: TO-NY!! TO-NY!! TO-NY!! TO-NY!! [Edwards looks pleasantly surprised, and then a look of confidence comes over him as he turns to Squeaky McQueen and gives him a signal to begin. With the signal, the Jazz Octet begin to play the music to "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang. Most of the crowd begin to clap along. The background vocals are done by three members of the jazz octet, who do not play wind instruments.] Yahoo! Sunday is Summer Explosion Yahoo! Sunday is Summer Explosion Celebrate good times, come on! (It's time to fight) Celebrate good times, come on! (It's time to fight) There's a party goin' on right here The I/W's Birthday, we've been around five years St Clair's the champion, and he'll defend it soon Arcola and Travers want to take him down on Pay-Per-View Come on now Summer Explosion Let's all watch them fight for glory and pride Summer Explosion We gonna enjoy watchin' them put it all on the line. Lumski and Fleur will fight together Against Xile, Go Star Crossed Lovers!! Everyone around the world Come on! Yahoo! It's time for Summer Explosion Yahoo! R... R... J... fights d'Artois, come on! It's at Summer Explosion Maverick, Nate and Christopher, come on! The UWC We're gonna see a strange one Sunday night Prophet, Dan and Idol, will all fight. They're in a Triple Threat that has me geeked. Cuz The Idol reeks, and has for weeks. Baby... We're finally gonna see Reason fight (Summer Explosion) Against Billy Rock, it'll be a long night We're gonna see them fight in a cell (Summer Explosion) I bet for Reason, the night is hell Yahoo! Yahoo! Gold-en Turn-bu-ckles, come on! (Let's celebrate) Gold-en Turn-bu-ckles, come on! It's an awards presentation! Gold-en Turn-bu-ckles, come on! (Let's celebrate) Come on and celebrate, good times, tonight (Celebrate good times, come on!) 'Cause everything's gonna be all right Let's celebrate (Celebrate good times, come on) (Let's celebrate)... [The capacity crowd of around 1000 cheer wildly, as Edwards bows. He then points to the Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet, who also bow. The wrestlers sitting in the seats are shown, some are shaking their heads in disbelief and cheering, the rest are snickering.] Anthony Edwards: [Out of Breath] Thank you... Phew! We'll be right back with our first Golden Turnbuckle presentation, for Pay-Per-View of the Year. [The screen fades to commercials.] [The screen fades back in from commercials with a high view of most of the crowd in the background, and the Golden Turnbuckles logo in the forefront. The screen the switches to Anthony Edwards at the podium.] Anthony Edwards: Here to award this years Golden Turnbuckle for Pay Per View of the Year, are our esteemed commentary team of play by play man Jim Robson, and Colour Analyst Jack Anderson. [There is some polite applause as Robson and Anderson walk out from backstage. The camera shows the front row, where the upper management are sitting, including Chad Ishikawa making a rare public appearance. Ishikawa and Jurkschat are as far apart as possible, with Vice President Thompson seated beside Ishikawa. The camera returns to the podium where Anderson and Robson stand, dressed in black tuxedos.] Jim Robson: The IWF/WOW puts on five to six pay per view events during a calendar year, depending on whether or not WrestleWar takes place in October. Jack Anderson: I think Chris stopped having WrestleWars because it was Ishikawa's favorite event. Jim Robson: I wouldn't be surprised. All six of this year's pay per view events were outstanding, but only one can be singled out as the best of them all. The nominees for Pay Per View of the Year are... Jack Anderson: Egos & Icons 2001!! ======================================================================== IWF/WOW EGOS & ICONS: New Era | LIVE! From Ottawa, Ontario, Canada ======================================================================== ______ | ____| [MAIN EVENT #1 - STEEL CAGE - IWF/WOW WORLD TITLE MATCH!] | |__ "Epic" Eric Travers vs Shane St. Clair | __| | |____ [MAIN EVENT #2 - TOWEL MATCH - IWF/WOW IC TITLE MATCH!] |______| Justin Arcola vs "Serial Thriller" Billy Rock ___ [w/ to be announced] [w/ Nate McMannis] ( _ ) / _ \/\ [ULTIMATE WRESTLING CHALLENGE - STREET FIGHT!] | (_> < Razor Ron Jeremy vs Robert d'Artois \___/\/ _____ [GRUDGE MATCH!] |_ _| Damian Malcolm vs co-President Jurkschat | | | | [WINNERS EARN WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES SHOT!] _| |_ The Ewiak Brothers vs the Boston Bad Boys |_____| [NORTH AMERICAN TITLE MATCH - GAVEL ON A POLE MATCH!] DAY 1 "Suicidal" Nate McMannis vs the Idol ======================================================================== IWF/WOW EGOS & ICONS: New Era | LIVE! From Ottawa, Ontario, Canada ======================================================================== ======================================================================== IWF/WOW EGOS & ICONS: Independence Day Rumble LIVE! From Washington, DC ======================================================================== ______ | ____| [MAIN EVENT! TWENTY MAN INDEPENDENCE DAY RUMBLE] | |__ Billy Rock, Cooper Concrete, Nate McMannis, Brett Young, | __| Sean Christopher, Jeremy Thranton, Fusion, Mickey Charmer, | |____ Scott Richards, Damian Malcolm, Maverick, the Giant Redneck, |______| Razor Ron Jeremy, Justin Arcola, the Desert Scorpion, the Prophet, Carl Lumski, the Idol, Robert d'Artois, Matthew ___ Reason ( _ ) / _ \/\ [WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH!] | (_> < Sloan/Van Steele vs the Ewiak Brothers vs Team 3B \___/\/ _____ [TRIPLE THREAT GRUDGE MATCH!] |_ _| Jeremy Thranton vs the Prophet vs Desert Scorpion | | | | [6-PERSON ELMINATION MATCH!] _| |_ Lumski/Fleur/Rogan vs Pain/Suffering/Hellraiser |_____| [SURPRISE MAIN EVENT #2 - IWF/WOW WORLD TITLE MATCH!] DAY 2 Shane St. Clair vs "Epic Eric Travers ======================================================================== IWF/WOW EGOS & ICONS: Independence Day Rumble LIVE! From Washington, DC ======================================================================== Jack Anderson: End of the World 5!! ======================================================================== ========= ______ __ _ __ ============= ========= / ____/ ____ / /_ | | / / ============= ========= / __/ / __ \ / __/ | | /| / / ============= ========= / /___ / /_/ / / /_ | |/ |/ / ============= ========= /_____/ N D \____/ F \__/ H E |__/|__/ O R L D ============= ======================================================================== =========== LIVE! On PPV From Vancouver, British Columbia ============== ======================= Sunday May 13th, 2001 ========================== ================== http://members.home.net/iwfwow ====================== ======================================================================== !!! MAIN EVENT !!! IWF/WOW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE - HANDICAPPED MATCH! "Epic" Eric Travers & the Prophet vs. Jeremy Thranton WAR FOR TERRITORY II! IC TITLE MATCH? "Serial Thriller" Billy Rock vs Justin Arcola ~ No disqualification, no count outs. ~ Best 2 of 3 falls ~ Falls count anywhere in the known galaxy ~ One fall must be won in the ring, the other out of the ring! TRIPLE THREAT STAIRWAY TO HELL MATCH! Shane St. Clair vs Maverick vs Suicidal Tendency NORTH AMERICAN TITLE MATCH Alex Cote vs Carl Lumski CAREER ENDING MATCH! Razor Ron Jeremy vs "The Main Event" Andrew Johnston WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES MATCH - OPEN INVITE! Pain & Suffering vs Boston Bad Boys vs The Ewiak Brothers vs Adam Van Steele and K.J. Sloan vs the Freedom Fighters vs ??????? SINGLES ACTION Desert Scorpion vs Fusion ======================================================================== Jack Anderson: WrestleFest V!! ======================================================================== IWF/WOW WRESTLEFEST V - IWF/WOW WRESTLEFEST V - IWF/WOW WRESTLEFEST V ======================================================================== |\ /| [HIGH-FLYING GRUDGE MATCH!] | ) ( | November vs Suicidal Tendency | | _ | | | |( )| | [6-MAN WILD CARD ACTION!] | || || | Concrete/Colby/Toshio vs West/Arcola/Gemini | () () | (_______) RESTLE [IC TITLE TOURNAMENT - SEMI-FINALS!] Spades vs Eden _______ ( ____ \ [IC TITLE TOURNAMENT - SEMI-FINALS!] | ( \/ Vahn vs St. Clair | (__ | __) [SLEDGE'S IWF/WOW RETURN!] | ( Sledge vs Erickson | ) |/ EST [IWF/WOW NORTH AMERICAN TITLE MATCH!] Redding vs Cote vs Carter |\ /| | ) ( | [IC TITLE TOURNAMENT - LADDER MATCH FINALS!] | | | | Winner of Spades/Eden vs Winner of Vahn/St. Clair ( ( ) ) \ \_/ / [MAIN EVENT IWF/WOW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH] \ / Hightower vs Travers vs Flynt vs Thranton FI \_/ E ~ SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: The Prophet ======================================================================== IWF/WOW WRESTLEFEST V - IWF/WOW WRESTLEFEST V - IWF/WOW WRESTLEFEST V ======================================================================== Jack Anderson: Chrismas Madness 2000!! ======================================================================== _______ _______ _______ |\ /| ( )( ___ )( ____ \ ( \ / ) | () () || ( ) || ( \/ \ (_) /_____ | || || || (___) || (_____ ) _ ((_____)| |(_)| || ___ |(_____ ) / ( ) \ | | | || ( ) | ) | ( / \ ) | ) ( || ) ( |/\____) | |/ \| |/ \||/ \|\_______) _______ _______ ______ _ _______ _______ _______ ( )( ___ )( __ \ ( ( /|( ____ \( ____ \( ____ \ | () () || ( ) || ( \ )| \ ( || ( \/| ( \/| ( \/ | || || || (___) || | ) || \ | || (__ | (_____ | (_____ | |(_)| || ___ || | | || (\ \) || __) (_____ )(_____ ) | | | || ( ) || | ) || | \ || ( ) | ) | | ) ( || ) ( || (__/ )| ) \ || (____/\/\____) |/\____) | |/ \||/ \|(______/ |/ )_)(_______/\_______)\_______) ======================================================================== ======== Christmas Madness V =========== December 18th, 2000 =========== ======================================================================== WORLD TITLE MATCH - BEST OF SEVEN SERIES Eric Travers [3 wins] vs Hightower [0 wins] NORTH AMERICAN TITLE MATCH Trevor Redding vs "Countdown" Chris Carter GRUDGE MATCH Johnny Spades vs "Method Man" Chris Fisher GRUDGE MATCH Sean Eden vs "Smooth Criminal" Charlie Vahn GRUDGE MATCH Elijah Flynt vs "Meat Machine" Mike Marconi DEBUT MATCH! Damien Caine vs Kritical Kondition ======================================================================== Jack Anderson: And Wrestle War 2000!! IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _|_| _|_| _|_|_| _|_|_|_| _| _|_| _| _| _| _|_| _|_|_|_| _|_| _| _| _|_|_|_| _| _| _| _| _| _|_| _| _| _| _| _| _| _|_|_| _|_|_| _|_| _| _|_|_| _| _| _|_| _|_|_| _|_|_|_| _|_|_|_| _|_|_|_| _|_|_|_| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _|_|_|_| _|_|_| _|_|_|_| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _| _|_|_|_| _|_|_|_| _|_|_|_| _|_|_|_| [16 man Battle Royal] "Countdown" Chris Carter, "Master of the Flatliner" Hank Brimstone, Jason Roth, Toshio, "The Future" Chris Johnson, Dan "The Man" Watterson, Dark Bishop, Minister Dicky S. Wright, "The Rocket" Richard Blair, Trevor Redding, "Vicious" Vic Valiant, "Crazy" Brett Morgenheim, Darien Poe, Jason Reigns, "The Meat Machine" Mike Marconi, Magnus Colby [Triple Towers of Terror] Hightower vs "Professor" Steve West [North American title match] "Smooth Criminal" Charlie Vahn vs "Hardass" Colin Justins [World tag team elimination title match] - one from each team in the ring at all times Lightning Bolts vs Boston Bad Boys vs Jeremy Stenzel & Daemon Winters [World title match] "Epic" Eric Travers vs "Method Man" Chris Fisher IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW-IWF/WOW Jim Robson: The Runner Up is WrestleFest 5. And the Golden Turnbuckle for Pay Per View of the Year is awarded to... Jack Anderson: Egos and Icons 2001!!! [The crowd cheer as The Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet play their rendition of American Psycho by Treble Charger, the music from Day 2 of Egos and Icons. Anderson and Robson walk off stage, and Anthony Edwards returns to his post at the podium. Anthony Edwards: We have a LOT of great looking women walking the halls of the IWF/WOW's Mayhem Arena each and every Monday night, but only one can be named Sexiest Female of the Year. Here to present the Golden Turnbuckle, is the former IWF/WOW Intercontinental Champion, and the winner of this year's Independance Day Rumble, Justin Arcola!! [Justin Arcola walks onstage from the far entrance, taking time to pass by the jazz octet and give them a nod of appreciation. He walks up to the podium, already looking a little irritated.] JUSTIN ARCOLA - Well well, it would seem that the next IWF/WOW Champion of the World has gotten himself a bit of an enviable job tonight. You see, I get to present the award for the Sexiest Female in the IWF/WOW. [Cheering and catcalls.] JUSTIN ARCOLA (sarcastic) - Yeah, we all love our T & A exhibitions, don't we? [More cheering.] JUSTIN ARCOLA - So how in the world can Justin Arcola wear a long face on a night like tonight? I got the best job of the evening. No matter who wins, I get to stand up here next to some fine arm candy. But I'm not happy. My name is Justin Arcola, and I have devoted my entire _life_ to the sport of wrestling. As such, I've forgone pleasures like the fairer sex. I don't fear them...I simply...deny them my essence. I've worked my ass off to earn everything I've gotten in life, and for me to be up here to glorify the stupid, non-wrestling related, meat market that the women of the IWF/WOW are is just ridiculous. It makes me wonder exactly whom I've p*ssed off to be up here. If you want to see scantially-clad women, pick up a copy of Victoria's Secret, for Christ's sake. Don't stink up a quality wrestling program with that garbage. [Booing, even a barely audible chant of "f*g-got, f*g-got".] JUSTIN ARCOLA - Typical insecure macho bullsh*t. Shut your mouths, put away your c*cks, and let's just get this over with. The nominees for Sexiest Female are... Our lovely and talented ring announcer, who once used her two working brain cells to announce the winners of a tag team Hell in a Cell match as myself and Billy Rock, Francine! [Cheers from the crowd] The human equivilent of the parachute-deprived skydiver, who's been in traction since Shane St. Clair bravely hoisted her up and chucked her like a hand grenade off the stage, Tricia Lane! {Cheers from the crowd] The Red Dwarf freak, Fleur Gardyn! [More cheers from the crowd] The girl who's hotter late at night than David Letterman... post-Carson... "The Tomorrow Girl" Natalie Rose Rogan! [Even more cheers from the crowd] And finally, the Boston Bad Bitch, Kelly James! [And yes, more cheering from the crowd] [Arcola undoes the envelope and pulls out the paper inside.] JUSTIN ARCOLA - The runner up, is Tricia Lane JUSTIN ARCOLA - And the winner is... [Various names can be heard coming from the males in the audience.] JUSTIN ARCOLA - Francine!! [The crowd cheer as the camera fixes on the now red faced ring announcer of the IWF/WOW Francine. Francine is wearing a black gown, and heels. She stands and walks up the steps to the podium and accepts her Golden Turnbuckle from Arcola, and steps in front of the podium.] Francine: Wow, I don't know what to say. Umm... Thank you very much for this award, I'm very flattered to have been chosen. Thanks. [With that, Francine walks off to the backstage area with the crowd cheering. Anthony Edwards returns to the podium.] Anthony Edwards: Wow, for someone who is involved in a mannner of public speaking every Monday, she sure was quiet. [There is a polite chuckle from the crowd.] Anthony Edwards: Each week, we are treated to anywhere between four and six matches on Mayhem, and five or six times per year we get a seven to 9 match pay-per-view event. The IWF/WOW shows more than 200 matches per year, and we are about to find out which of those matches was the best one of the year. Here to present the award for Match of the Year, is a man who was involved in the first match to win this Golden Turnbuckle. That match was The 1997 Independance Day Rumble, and that man was the winner of that battle, fighting for an astonishing eighty-eight minutes to be crowned the first IWF/WOW World Heavyweight Champion. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the first IWF/WOW World Champion, the former Angle of Death, Vice President Wade Thompson!! [There is a loud cheer from the crowd as The Vice President walks out from the backstage area. Thompson is wearing a black tuxedo, with a red vest, and carries the two Golden Turnbuckle trophies and an envelope. Thompson sets the trophies on the podium.] VP Thompson: We were treated to an incredible number of great matches this past year. Each of them would be very deserving of this Golden Turnbuckle, but only one can win. Without further ado, here are the nominees for Match of the Year... Johnny Spades vs Shane St. Clair [Ladder Match - WrestleFest V] [The video screen shows highlights of the match, finishing off with St.Clair's Giga-Spear.] Justin Arcola vs Billy Rock [Towel Match - EGOS & ICONS: Day 1] [Highlights of the match are shown, including Billy Rock's Sitdown Piledriver from the top rope, and through the announce table.] Eric Travers vs Elijah Flynt [Jan. 16th MAYHEM] [Highlights of the match are shown, including Elijah Flynt taking Travers through the announce table from the top rope.] Billy Rock vs Justin Arcola [War for Territory II - End of the World 5] [Highlights are shown, including Arcola hiptossing Rock over the barrier of a mezzanine, and onto the top of a production truck below.] Shane St. Clair vs Maverick vs Suicidal Tendency [Stairway to Hell - EotW 5] [Highlights are shown, including St. Clair Giga-Spearing the then Suicidal Tendancy and Maverick at the same time.] Eric Travers vs Shane St. Clair [EGOS & ICONS: Day 1] [Highlights are shown, including St. Clair, and yes it's another spear, this time from the top of a cell, and through the announce table.] Independence Day Rumble 2001 [EGOS & ICONS: Day 2] [Highlights are shown, including Arcola eliminating Billy Rock to win the match.] [Thompson opens the envelope.] VP Thompson: The runner up is Justin Arcola vs Billy Rock [Towel Match - EGOS & ICONS: Day 1]. The winner of the 2001 Golden Turnbuckle for Match of the year is... Billy Rock vs Justin Arcola [War for Territory II - End of the World 5]!!! [The camera cuts to Justin Arcola's table in the back corner, as he gets up from his seat and starts to walk towards the stage, dodging his way through the scattered tables. Simultaneously, on the other side of the hall, Billy Rock is seen already up and moving. They come up on the opposite stairs and coverge in the middle, suddenly finding themselves face-to-face. There's a bit of uneasiness and neither man wants to turn his back to the other in order to step to the microphone. Arcola, however, takes the initiative by stepping back and raising his hands in a "backing off" motion. Arcola gives the floor to Rock.] [Billy approaches the podium, his tie loosened, just dangling around his neck. He plows through his hair with his right hand and sighs.] BILLY ROCK - War For Territory 2. Yep, yep, yep. That was an eloquent display of ring wizardry. I mean, have you ever bared witness to a match that ruthlessly detailed and jabbed such a fine point straight through the heart and soul of our craft? [He bowes his head and chuckles, then looks into the crowd and shakes his head, amused.] BILLY ROCK - You're a bunch of sick bastards, you know that? [Audience laughter.] BILLY ROCK - The best match of the mid-year was nearly ceased twenty minutes into it. You unwrap the best match of the mid-year and you'll find a man who's arm was hanging off his shoulder, connected only by a _prayer_. You'll find a man whose head was smothered in glue and glass, a man who could barely breath as the substance dried and sliced through his nostrals. The best match of the year was the worst massacres, then looks into the crowd and shakes his head, amused.] BILLY ROCK - You're a bunch of sick bastards, you know that? [Audience laughter.] BILLY ROCK - The best match of the mid-year was nearly ceased twenty minutes into it. You unwrap the best match of the mid-year and you'll find a man who's arm was hanging off his shoulder, connected only by a _prayer_. You'll find a man whose head was smothered in glue and glass, a man who could barely breath as the substance dried and sliced through his nostrals. The best match of the year was the worst massacre this world has seen since ... since ... hell, people. You ain't never seen sh*t like that. [POP!] BILLY ROCK - Last but certainly not least, the best match of the year was won by a ... [Looks directly at Arcola.] BILLY ROCK - _forklift_. [Justin frowns and shakes his head. Billy nods and looks into the crowd.] BILLY ROCK - My fans seem to have acquired the same thirst for blood that I have. So this Sunday, lift your glasses. The next round's on me. [Billy steps back and Arcola comes to the mike.] JUSTIN ARCOLA - Well, that about said it all...I guess. The War For Territory was the damndest thing that myself, Billy, or each and every fan sitting out there could honestly say they've ever experienced. [Polite applause] JUSTIN ARCOLA - But if I could add one thing about it that made it special to me, of course, it would be me walking away with the Intercontinental Title that's sitting around [points back at Rock] this man's waist when it was all said and done. [Scattered laughter and booing.] JUSTIN ARCOLA - But I'm not up here to be smug about that. There's no real winners and losers in bloodbaths like those. It's like calling yourself a winner in a gunfight where you die from your own wounds a few minutes later. No, the real winners were the unseen participants. Every single IWF/WOW fan walked away a winner after the spectacle they got to see at the End of the World. [Cheering.] JUSTIN ARCOLA - And the losers? Well, the poor bastards who had to follow us up, of course. Jeremy Thranton and the Trifecta, who pulled off one of the saddest main events I can ever recall seeing. [Laughter.] JUSTIN ARCOLA - Thanks a lot, folks. [Arcola and Rock leave the stage seperately, as Anthony Edwards return to the podium.] Anthony Edwards: We'll be right back, after these messages. [The screen fades to commercials with The Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet playing a jazz tune of all things.] [The screen fades back in from commercial, as the band finishes their song, with Anthony Edwards standing at the podium.] Anthony Edwards: Each year, we see various wrestlers get into arguments, and feud with each other for extended periods of time. These battles become wars, and they can get messy. But I'll be damned if they aren't entertaining as all hell. Here to present is a team that took the tag team division by storm this year. In just a few short months, they've gained quite a fan following and they've captured the World Tag Team Titles as well. I give you the IWF/WOW's World Tag Team Champions, former North American Champion Carl Lumski, and the WOW Asian Champion Fleur Gardyn, The Star Crossed Lovers!! [Anthony Edwards quickly walks off-stage and The Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet starts playing a jazzy version of "The Hitch-hiker's Guide To The Galaxy" theme. Carl Lumski and his girlfriend/tag team partner Fleur Gardyn come walking on-stage and stand behind the podium. Carl is dressed in a white sportcoat, blue t-shirt, white khaki pants, and Adidas sneakers and he's carrying a Golden Turnbuckle statue. Meanwhile, Fleur is decked out in a tight black skirt and a tight teal tank top with a neckline that goes down a little too far. Her blonde locks are pulled up in a pair of funky pigtails and she's carrying a small, sealed envelope. They both lean forward and start addressing the audience...] CL: This past year was a wild year here in the IWF/WOW. Looking at it from a fan's standpoint, it was one of the best years as far as feuds are concerned. FG: This orard goes out ta the most 'EATED feud of the year. It's for the two competitors 'oo spilled the most blood this year... all in the name of bloody 'ATRED for each uvver. CL: The nominees are... [A split-screen graphic featuring "Epic" Eric Travers on one side and Jeremy Thranton on the other comes on-screen...] ... Eric Travers and Jeremy Thranton... [Another split-screen graphic is shown. This time, it features IWF/WOW Intercontinental Champion "Serial Thriller" Billy Rock on one side and Justin Arcola on the other...] ... Billy Rock and Justin Arcola... [A third split-screen graphic, featuring IWF/WOW North American Champion "Suicidal" Nate McMannis and the Idol, is shown...] ... Nate McMannis and the Idol... [We see another split-screen graphic. This time, it's with Eric Travers and IWF/WOW World Champion Shane St. Clair...] ... Eric Travers and Shane St. Clair... [A fifth split-screen graphic shows Damian Malcolm and co-President Jurkschat...] ... Damian Malcolm and co-President Jurkschat... [The sixth split-screen graphic features Johnny Spades and Billy Rock...] ... Johnny Spades and Billy Rock... [A seventh split-screen graphic shows Hightower and Eric Travers...] ... Hightower and Eric Travers... [The eighth and final split-screen graphic features Razor Ron Jeremy and Robert d'Artois...] ... and, finally, Razor Ron Jeremy and Robert d'Artois! [Cut back to a shot of Lumski and Gardyn behind the podium. Fleur rips open the envelope...] CL: The runner up is Johnny Spades versus Billy Rock. FG: And the winner is... [She takes a small piece of paper out of the envelope and reads...] FG: Billy Rock versus Justin Arcola!! [The camera cuts to a shot of Arcola getting up again and, in a fashion similar to that of before, walks up the opposite side of the stage from that of Billy Rock. This time, it's Arcola who takes the microphone first.] JUSTIN ARCOLA - Well, I don't think there was a doubt in anyone's minds about this one. I mean, how anyone can deny that what [points at Rock] this crazy bastard and I have done to each other in the past months qualifies us for this award hands-down is beyond me. [Applause] JUSTIN ARCOLA - I do have to say though that an award like this is truly one that one man can't carry on his own. Without the right foil to play off of, a rivalry really can suck. But the right person...the right enemy...can really make you better just by his being there to take you to and beyond your limits. So, Billy, I know it's a corny cliche, but it works here, and half of this award belongs to you. [Applause as Justin steps back. [Billy saunters to the podium as Arcola moves across the stage. Billy monitors his greatest opponent out of the corner of his eye. He then cocks his body toward Justin.] BILLY ROCK - Do you feel it, Justin? 'Cause it's there. Something ... something between us. More than just distance. It's called respect, and no matter how deformed or twisted it might be, it's the only reason your Godd*mn entrails aren't gushing through my fingers right now. [The audience gasps, but hope for a fight.] BILLY ROCK - Instead, I'll take a hold of this ... [Lifts his award off the podium.] BILLY ROCK - ... and wish you luck on Sunday. [Modest applause for good sportsmanship.] BILLY ROCK - Because the next time I drop you on that highway rest stop your legs are hangin' off of ... I'm takin' a souvenir. [Billy versus Justin, with the world title at stake? The audience roars, salivating at the possibility. Billy leaves the stage, taking a walk by Arcola. For a split second the two are nose to nose, but Billy keeps moving.] [Anthony Edwards moves back to the podium.] Anthony Edwards: The next award to be presented will go to the man that the fans hate the most. It's kind of ironic that someone actuly gets a statuette for this. Here to present the "award" for the Most Hated Wrestler of the Year, is one of the nominees, but a man who has been cheered as of late. Please welcome the former IWF/WOW World Champion, and one of the challengers for that title at Summer Explosion, "Epic" Eric Travers. [The Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet struggle to play "Epic" by Faith No More, but end up doing a formidable job of it as Eric Travers walks out from the back. Travers is wearing black pants, black shoes, and gold t-shirt, and a black sport jacket. He walks to the podium and sets the statuette down, and hold the envelope in his hand.] Eric Travers: When the night started, they gave me this assignment, and I asked them to let me know what to do if I won this "award". All I was told was smile and act surprised. And I would be surprised, because I know you fans have loved me all along!! [Travers smiles, and the crowd eat it up, cheering wildly.] Eric Travers: The man who "wins" this award, is the most despised man in the IWF/WOW. There must be a mistake on this nominees list though, because I just don't see Jurkschat's name on here. [The crowd boo] Eric Travers: It's understandable though. Jurkschat PICKED the nominees, and those nominees are... Me, "Epic" Eric Travers [The crowd cheer] Elijah Flynt [There is a mixed reaction from the crowd] Robert d'Artois [Loud booing ensues] Matthew Reason [More loud booing] Has this guy even wrestled yet? Justin Arcola [Even more booing] and Damian Malcolm [The theatre ERUPTS in boos] [Travers looks around, with a smirk on his face.] Eric Travers: I take it you guys aren't big fans. Crowd: Xile suck!! Xile suck!! [Travers laughs and opens the envelope.] Eric Travers: The runner up, is Justin Arcola. And the Golden Turnbuckle for Most Hated Wrestler of the Year goes to... Robert d'Artois!! ["Toward The Pantheon" by Emperor is butchered by the jazz octet, as Robert d'Artois makes his way to the scene, to accept his award. He doesn't look very happy while walking toward there, actually almost looking angry. He gets on the scene, takes his prize, and walks toward the microphone. There, he waits a couple of seconds, while the crowd is booing, and then adress them.] [Robert d'Artois] What is that? What the Hell is that! I get an award for "Most Hated of the Year"? What does that mean, that you people actually don't like me? That you don't appreciate what I'm doing, that you don't appreciate being educated? That you don't appreciate my talents? [The crowd cheered, some screaming "Yes!" while d'Artois was saying that, getting d'Artois to be more and more angered by the moment.] [Robert d'Artois] I guess that you just don't understand... That you just don't seem to appreciate the effort I'm putting in my work, the effort that, as a wrestler, I'm doing to make you better fans of the sport, better people in general... Of the work that I'm doing in making this organization better... You are ignorant people, I am educating you. Your wrestling heroes are worthless and pathetic, I am showing that reality to you... It might hurt you, but you should be at least intelligent enough to understand that! [He looks at his award.] [Robert d'Artois] Seeing that in my hands, I guess that you just aren't able to seize that whole concept... To accept the fact that you should be cheering me, giving me standing ovations, voting me in the Hall of Fame, in the Pantheon of Wrestling, or as the "Most Popular of the Year"... That means that you are just a bunch of idiotic morons... But be sure of one thing, the wrestlers that you so dearly love, they are as meaningless as you people are! [The crowd boos, d'Artois continues.] [Robert d'Artois] If you are pathetic, you just don't matter... I don't care. I shall continue to prove to all of you how untalented and out of place your wrestling idols are... I shall continue to win Ultimate Wrestling Challenges, Independance Day Rumbles, North American Titles, IWF/WOW World Heavyweight Titles, I shall continue to grace your TV screens, I shall continue to expose the lack of talent of everybody else in the IWF/WOW, and I shall continue to rise in the patheon of the wrestling heroes, of the wrestling gods! I know what True Wrestling is all about, you don't. This award, I'll take it... And when I win the Utlimate Wrestling Challenge once again, when I win the IWF/WOW World Heavyweight Title, when you all realize that I truly am the greatest, then, I shall shove it in your face, and make you remember how foolish that you are all! [He laughs.] [Robert d'Artois] Because remember, if you are men, then I must definitely be a God! ["Toward The Pantheon" by Emperor is once again butcherd by The Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet as d'Artois angrily returns to his place. Anthony Edwards returns to the podium.] Anthony Edwards: d'Artois seems a little upset to have won that award. I would be too, if I was more hated than Xile! [Laughter from the crowd.] Anthony Edwards: And now... here to present the award for the Most Popular Star of the Year... I give you a woman who needs no introduction. She's the manager of the current IWF/WOW World Tag Team Champions, the Star Crossed Lovers, and a pretty accomplished wrestler in her own right. Ladies and gentlemen, here's "The Tomorrow Girl" Natalie Rose Rogan! [Edwards walks off-stage as the Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet springs to life and starts playing an instrumental version of Heart's "Barracuda". Natalie Rose Rogan walks on-stage and stands behind the podium, holding a small, sealed envelope and a Golden Turnbuckle statue. Looking lovely in an off-the-shoulders, long black evening gown with her hair swept up into a bun, Natalie Rose looks out into the audience and grins...] NRR: Seeing that I'm the manager of the most popular tag team of the year, I guess it's only natural that I present the Golden Turnbuckle for the most popular SINGLES star of the year. Now I'm not a big fan of nonsensical chit-chat during awards shows so let me just cut to the chase. The nominees are... ["Popular" by Nada Surf begins to play as a montage of the nominees in action flashes on-screen. Meanwhile, Natalie Rose announces the nominees one by one in a voice-over...] ... "Serial Thriller" Billy Rock... [We see a clip of Rock and Justin Arcola trading punches in their infamous Towel Match at "EGOS & ICONS: A New Era"...] ... "The Headliner" Shane St. Clair... [We see a clip of St. Clair proudly holding the IWF/WOW World Heavyweight Title in the air after defeating "Epic" Eric Travers at "EGOS & ICONS: A New Era"...] ... Razor Ron Jeremy... [We see a clip of Razor Ron Jeremy leveling Maverick with a running clothesline...] ... "Suicidal" Nate McMannis... [We see a clip of McMannis atop a ladder, retrieving the IWF/WOW North American Title...] ... Jeremy Thranton... [We see a clip of Jeremy Thranton chokeslamming The Prophet at "End of the World 5"...] ... and "Couch Potato" Carl Lumski. [We see a clip of Lumski eliminating The Prophet during the Independence Day Rumble at "EGOS & ICONS". "Popular" fades as we cut back to a shot of Natalie Rose Rogan.] NRR: The runner up is "Suicidal" Nate McMannis NRR: And the winner is... [She opens the envelope and reads the small piece of paper inside...] BILLY ROCK!! [Rogan looks both very excited, and extremely giddy as Billy Rock climbs the steps. As Rock reaches the podium, he. [Rubbing his hands together.] BILLY ROCK - I've always thought of this as my job, certainly not a popularity contest, but as long as it's not a beauty pagent I think I'm still ahead of the game. I'll take this award as an honor and a privilige. I'll take it as a sentiment that you, the fans, love my job just as much as I do. Thank you all for your support. [Billy shakes the trophy in the air as he walks off stage to a round applause. Anthony Edwards returns to the podium.] Anthony Edwards: Up next is the award for Tag Team of the Year. Here to present the award is the commissioner of the IWF/WOW, "Suicidal Nate McMannis!! [After being introduced by Anthony Edwards, the Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet begins playing a bastardized version of (hEd)p.e.'s "Killing Time" and Nate McMannis, dressed in a full tuxedo, walks to the podium. His hair, which usually hangs in his face, is neatly gelled back. He gets to the podium and speaks into the microphone as the music stops.] NATE McMANNIS: I'm here to introduce the IWF/WOW's Tag Team of the Year. This is a pretty big accompishment... now, we all know that if me and Billy Rock went into tag teams... or hell, if I went in with Diamond Jim, I'd be winning this award. Anyway... The nominees are... The Boston Bad Boys!! Pain & Suffering!! The Star Crossed Lovers!! KJ Sloan and Adam Van Steele!! and The Ewiak Brothers!! [McMannis opens the envelope] NATE McMANNIS: The runners up are KJ Sloan and Adam Van Steel!! NATE McMANNIS: Now, as the IWF/WOW's North American Champion _and_ Aggressive Commissioner, it gives me great honor, and a hefty salary increase, to announce to the world the IWF/WOW Tag Team of the Year... The Star Crossed Lovers!! [The Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet plays the theme from "General Hospital" as "Couch Potato" Carl Lumski and Fleur Gardyn come running on-stage. Fleur graciously accepts the Golden Turnbuckle from Nate McMannis while Carl steps up to the podium, grinning...] CL: I want to thank everyone who voted for us. This is kinda overwhelming for us. Up until a few months ago, we were just fans... and now this! Man alive! It feels GREAT! We couldn't have done it without all of you fans out there! We thank you all... from the bottom of our hearts! [Applause, applause, applause! Statue in hand, Fleur runs over to join Carl behind the podium...] FG: Bloody hell! Thank you! Thank you! [The crowd laugh and cheer as The Star Crossed Lovers leave the stage and Anthony Edwards steps up to the podium.] Anthony Edwards: We have to take one last commercial break, but when we return, we have the Hall of Fame induction, and the final Golden Turnbuckle of the evening, Wrestler of the Year!! [The screen fades out with the jazz octet breaking into song.] [The screen fades back in with the jazz octet finishing their song, and Anthony Edwards at the podium.] Anthony Edwards: Each year we induct new members into the IWF/WOW Hall of Fame. In March, we inducted The Angel of Death and The Idol, and tonight one more man will join them and the rest of the Hall of Fame inductees. Here to induct tonights inductee is the Co-President of the IWF/WOW, Mr. Chris Jurkschat!! [The crowd boo as Co-President Jurkschat makes his way to the podium.] Co=President Jurkschat: Tonight's inductee into the IWF/WOW Hall of Fame has his name all over the IWF/WOW record books. He is a former World Champion, a former 3-time Intercontinental Champion, a former 2 time North American Champion, and a former co-holder of the IWF/WOW Tag Team Titles. His seven championships are the most in IWF/WOW history. Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight, we are proud to induct Hightower into the IWF/WOW Hall of Fame!! ["Trip Like I Do" by Filter/Crystal Method is played by The Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet and the entire room gets to it's feet and starts applauding as Hightower stands up from his chair and makes his way to the podium, limping from knee surgery after he left the I/W. As Hightower walks, he pauses between two tables, looking at The Idol on one side, and Robert d'Artois on the other side. He glares between the two men for a brief moment, then cracks a grin and shakes hands with his two former foes, getting slightly more applause then a few moments prior. Hightower continues towards the podium, but stops when he see's Razor Ron Jeremy. RRJ stands up and the two former tag team partner's shake hands and embrace, and quickly sharing a laugh before Hightower finally steps up to the podium and shakes hands with I/W President Chris Jurkschat. Hightower waits for the noise to die down before he begins to speak.] Hightower: In my 6 years of wrestling, I' ve been in many feds, and held many titles. I've been all over the world, and in my travels I have run into guys that I see before me today, and in some instances, I have even run indy feds with certain people that are sitting in this very room..... [Hightower pauses as he looks at Robert d'Artois, and the two nod and smile.] Hightower: And I stand here, looking at guys I remember....the veterans, looking at guys that I have never seen before...the rookies...I can honestly say that the IWF/WOW, is the one true place that I could, and always can....call my home! [The room pops.] Hightower: One time tag team champion, former Independence Day Rumble winner, two time North American Champion, undefeated in my last reign by the way...*chuckles*...three time Intercontinental Champion, also undefeated in my last reign, and my proudest accomplishment of them all, and coincidently enough it was the last title I held here in the I/W, was the World Championship. [Hightower looks at Eric Travers, and the two nod, showing a deep respect for each other due to the battles they have had in the past.] Hightower: But despite all that I have done, it was still a shock when President Jurkschat called me up and told me I was being inducted into the Hall of Fame...I was trying to figure out if he smoked something in my stash. [The room laughs along with President Jurkschat and Hightower. Hightower slowly stops laughing as hegets a serious look on his face.] Hightower: But in all seriousness....I consider it to be an honour to be inducted into the I/W Hall of Fame and I want to thank the people responsible for giving me this inductation into the Hall of Fame. I'm joining a list of men who I have fought with side by side, and some people I have fought against. I truely do feel honoured to be alongside such names as America's Least Wanted, Jeremy Thranton, The Killing Machines, The Prophet, Desert Scorpion, Christopher Stonebreaker, The Idol, The Angel of Death, AJ Stanson, and last but definatly not least, a man who I held a great hatred for, but atthe same time I had much respect for this legand...Derrick DaMann. [Hightower pauses as the mention of DaMann's name brings a pop of respect and rememberance for the former superstar.] Hightower: It's funny....some people say that the Hall of Fame is the end to a wrestler's career. But looking at The Idol....a man who I now share a spot in the Hall of Fame with...there's proof that there's life after the Hall of Fame. And who knows....maybe after my knee heals up... [Hightower pats his left leg.] Hightower: I may follow in The Idol's footsteps....and somebody might become just another victim! Thank you and goodnight. [Hightower gets a standing ovation while "Trip Like I do" is played by the jazz octet, as he leaves the podium and shakes hands with his former fellow wrestlers as he makes his way back to his seat. Anthony Edwards steps up to the podium.] Anthony Edwards: And now ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of the evening we've all been waiting for -- the Golden Turnbuckle Award for Wrestler of the Year! Here to present this esteemed award, a former IWF/WOW World Heavyweight Champion and potential Ultimate Wrestling Champion; please welcome Razor Ron Jeremy! [Everyone applauds as the Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet plays its rendition of "Date Rape" by Sublime, and Razor Ron Jeremy comes out from behind the left steel post in a tacky orange tuxedo jacket and plain golf pants. Bootie is strapped to his head and it has a little checkered bowtie tied around it. RRJ is pushing a steel cart out to the podium, and on that cart is a large vanilla cake with 5 sparklers on it.] RRJ: Hi everybody! Before I present the award for Wrestler of the Year, I would just like to take this time, against the will of the producers, to say my own Happy 5th Birthday wishes to the IWF/WOW! [Some "Awwws" from the audience.] RRJ: And don't worry folks, there's enough cake to go around for everyone, but no seconds until everyone has had one piece - Giant Redneck, I'm looking in your direction. [Light chuckles.] RRJ: Can we get a close-up on this cake? I went through great lengths to find this picture. . .Yeah, there we go! [It's one of those "put a picture on a cake" cakes. The picture is of Chris Jurkschat and Chad Ishikawa as small toddlers. Their arms are around each others shoulders and they're naked on the beach. Cartoonish leaves are covering their nakidity.] RRJ: I just wanted to say that if it wasn't for this one moment when these two met each other, none of us would be here this evening to celebrate the wonderful semidecade of the IWF/WOW's commitment to entertaining fans all around the globe, and none of us would be here saying "Happy 5th Birthday to the IWF/WOW!!" Everyone sing along! [Half the audience sings along, while others look appalled....others meaning Chris who stares frozen in shock, while Chad points at him and laughs.] All: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR EYE-DUB, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! [Mass applause.] RRJ: Hooray! Keep making this federation the best, you naked little toddlers you! [Chad continues to point and laugh at CJ, until a woman sitting next to him whispers in his ear. She points to the cake. Chad then blushes and runs outside.] RRJ: Now let's get on the award, this show is long enough as it is! The nominees for Wrestler of the Year are. . . "Epic" Eric Travers Justin Arcola "Serial Thriller" Billy Rock "The Headliner" Shane St. Clair "Suicidal" Nate McMannis Jeremy Thranton and Other Who The runner up is Justin Arcola. [Drumroll...] And the Golden Turnbuckle for Wrestler of the Year... Is not me because I'm not on the ballot. [Some light chuckles to ease the tension as RRJ opens the envelope.] It's "Epic" Eric Travers!! [The Squeaky McQueen Jazz octet once again struggle to accurately play "Epic" by Faith No More as the crowd rise to their feet and give Travers a standing ovation. The camera shows a smiling Eric Travers stand and get a kiss and hug from Tricia Lane. Travers also takes a second to shake hands with Nate McMannis, and a few other wrestlers who offer their congratulations. Before Travers makes his way up the steps, he makes a point of walking past Chris Jurkschat and giving him a look, and then shakes hands with Vice President Thompson. Travers also gets a hug from Thompson's wife, and Tricia's sister Heather. Travers then takes a moment to say hello to Co-President Ishikawa, before he climbs the steps and walks over to the podium where RRJ stands waiting with the statue. Travers looks at RRJ's attire, smiles, and shakes his head in disbelief. Travers takes the trophy from RRJ and shakes his hand as well, before stepping up to the podium. Travers waits as the noise dies down, and the crowd once again sit.] Eric Travers: Thank you very much. When I stood up here in March at the Half Year Awards show, I said that it was difficult to be excited about being named the Wrestler of the Half Year at that point in time, because of the tough times that our organization had been through. We were just beginning to thrive again at that point in time, and the future looked bright for all of us. Looking back over the past six months, brings a smile to my face. Seeing this organization thrive with great matches, great competition, and a bunch of great people, is very satisfying. The calibre of the athletes in the IWF/WOW is amazing, and that being said, I am truly honoured to accept the Golden Turnbuckle for Wrestler of the Year. [Polite applause] Eric Travers: This one means a lot to me. The IWF/WOW is blessed with some very talented individuals, like Billy Rock, Justin Arcola, and Nate McMannis... Even the goofy bastard behind me. [Travers smiles, and the crowd laugh as RRJ looks around, trying to find the goofy bastard Travers just referred to.] Eric Travers: As the I/W enters it's sixth year, I am looking forward to new challenges, and to the action that will take place around me. Once again, I am honoured to receive this award, and I thank each and every one of you. [The Squeaky McQueen Jazz Octet play "Epic" by Faith No More, as Travers walks off stage and Anthony Edwards walks to the podium.] Anthony Edwards: That's our show for tonight. Congratulations to all of our winners this evening on a job well done throughout the year. Goodnight from the Rebecca Cohn Theater here in Halifax, we'll see you at Summer Explosion!! [The screen fades and the credits roll.] Writer's note: A HUGE thank you to everyone who contributed, Brian, Matt W, Matt, Chris S, Rob, Ameet, and Ray.