[The thumping bassline of Golden Earring's "Twilight Zone" starts up ... but then there's an edit and the song kicks right into the chorus ... ] ## Now I'm steppin' into the Twilight Zone ## This is a madhouse ## Feels like being home ## My feet they can't move ## Under moon and star ## Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far ## You will come to know ## When the bullet hits the bone [ ... and three words appear on the screen. They are ... ] -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ______ ________ _____ _______ ______ ___ | | |______ \ / | |_______| \ \ R E S T L I N G / / | | \ \ / / \ \ ############### / / | | ______/ / | | O A S T \ \ ____ / / | | |________/ | | ####### \ \ / \ / / | | | | \ \ / /\ \ / / | | A C I F I C \ \ ________ \ \ | / \ \/ / |_____| ########### \_____| |________| \_____\ |/ \____/ -------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Those words, after holding for a few seconds disappear. Then, the words "SUPERCARD!" flash across the screen. Those disappear. Then the words "RING IN THE NEW" appear. Those hold for a minute. Then they're gone. Then the words "LIVE" are on the screen. Then, below them in much smaller print: "recorded earlier".] [All the words disappear, and we see the downtown Portland skyline. Towering skyscrapers and some smaller buildings rise above the Willamette River, as a sternwheeler full of sightseers sails through the water. The shot pulls back to the banks of the Willamette, opposite the main downtown, where the Rose Garden arena stands. The shot of the Rose Garden holds, as we watch groups of people walk into the arena. To the side, with a microphone, is EUGENE CURTIS.] EUGENE CURTIS -- Pro wrestling makes its return to the Rose Garden tonight, and in a huge way! And the people of Portland have responded in kind! Let's ask them about it. [He approaches a young family.] EUGENE -- Eugene Curtis, Pacific Coast Wrestling. May I ask who you came to see? FATHER -- I've just got to see how they do a "Stairway to Hell" match. MOTHER -- Don't say "hell" in front of the kids. FATHER -- Plus I've got a soft spot for Steve Sampson. I hope he wins the gold. EUGENE [crouching down to talk to their two young boys] -- And you? YOUNG BOY -- Chad Allen! OTHER YOUNG BOY -- Texas Jack! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-haw! EUGENE -- Thanks. You folks at home note that none of them mentioned Cordell Crane or Darren Blade. Particularly not Blade. There's a reason for that. [muttering] "Eugemire" indeed. I'll "Eugemire" him. [A tech guy walks up to Curtis and whispers something.] EUGENE -- I'm told it's time to go inside. I know I've got my ticket. [He produces it.] Have you got yours? [Camera nods.] EUGENE -- Let's go. [They walk down some steps to the arena entrance. Eugene hands over his ticket and, to his dismay, security then proceeds to pat him down.] SECURITY -- Is that an Altoids tin in your pocket, or were you injured in the war? EUGENE -- It's Altoids. They're for Larry. I have to sit by him, you know. Now knock it off! [They get inside. Almost instantly, Larry "Chainsaw" Gaines walks up with an armload of hotdogs and a carrying box with four beers. The dogs are loaded to the hilt with onions, relish and sauerkraut.] LARRY GAINES -- You all set, Euge? EUGENE -- You bet. [He hands over the Altoids tin to Larry.] You'll need these. LARRY -- No, I won't. [tosses them aside] I'll need THESE [indicating the dogs and beer]. In case some idiot wrestler attacks us. You see, in wrestling, bad breath is an incredibly effective defensive maneuver. I know from experience. EUGENE -- It didn't work for Jim Russ in the battle royal two weeks ago. Look ... did you at least shower? [Eugene sniffs.] EUGENE -- Oh. [Larry smiles.] EUGENE -- Let's just get down to our ringside table. [They go through one of the arena entries, and down the steps to ringside. The ring is set up in the center of the big basketball arena, home of the NBA's Portland BailRaisers, er, JailBlazers, er, TrailBlazers. On the way down, they observe a number of signs throughout the arena: "BAD TO THE BONE -- WORSE TO REASON!", "JEST yer next PCW champ!", "Cordell as champ -- a CAPITAL idea!", "NORTH FAIRVIEW POLISHED MY SHOES AT THE AIRPORT", "I EAT RUSS DONUTS", "SUPERSTAR! 'nuff said", "I'm down with BND, yeah you know me", "JACK HAS BALLS and he always keeps a spare", "Jake's brother is dating Hellshock", "Syked Out" and many others.] [Eugene and Larry arrive at ringside, where Owen Ambrose is already there.] EUGENE -- Ladies and gentlemen, Owen Ambrose of the I-Slash will be calling the action with us here tonight. OWEN -- I wouldn't miss this for the world! Portland's one of the greatest wrestling towns of all time, and this is certainly a huge return tonight. We have world class talent here tonight! Steve Sampson! Nate McMannis! Eric Travers! Mark Ensassarol! Gunnar Gaines! Paul Kiljoy! Chad Allen! Matthew Reason! LARRY -- ... and your broadcast partner, Cordell Crane. OWEN -- That's right. And my broadcast partner, Cordell Crane. Certainly he has a realistic chance of winning an extremely important belt tonight. EUGENE -- That being the PCW Northwest Heavyweight Championship. OWEN -- Yes. And then I'll never hear the end of it. Where's my lead wrench? EUGENE -- Well, the boys in the back are telling me something. They're telling me that Texas Jack isn't here. LARRY -- What? EUGENE -- His plane. It was late, and they don't know if Jack can make it in time for tonight's main event. LARRY -- I thought he was taking his horse. Maybe that's why he's late. Horses don't fly ... 'least not till you've had nine or ten shots of the wood grain. Then .... whoooooooey! Them suckers get some wings. EUGENE -- Indeed. [In front of them, Jefrey McDonald, dressed in striped pants, one of those Mexican pullovers, and Birkenstocks, steps into the ring. He reaches for the microphone.] [Over the P/A:] ## I'm too sexy for my love ## too sexy for my love ## Love's going to leave me [The drum fills kick the song into gear, and it's Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy."] JEFREY MCDONALD -- Welcome, everyone. Pacific Coast Wrestling and I-Slash are proud to present ... RING IN THE NEW! [The crowd cheers loudly, glad that things are finally going to get going!] =========================================================================== PCW tag team match: Boys Next Door vs. Realizations of Grandeur =========================================================================== JEFREY -- Our FIRST MATCH is going to be a tag team contest to one fall! Introducing first ... ## I'm too sexy for my shirt ## too sexy for my shirt ## So sexy it hurts ## And I'm too sexy for Milan, ## too sexy for Milan ## New York and Japan JEFREY -- They hail from the great state of Wyoming! Standing 6 foot 2 and weighing 225 pounds, "Angel" Sammy Griffin! Standing 6 foot 8 and weighing 285 pounds, "Bullfrog" Garrett Jax! Together they are ... THE BOYS NEXT DOOR!! [The BND enter the entrance aisle. "Angel" Sammy Griffin is wearing a flourescent orange tank top, neon blue wind pants, and lime green wrestling shoes. Sammy has shoulder length blonde hair, bright baby blue eyes, small well trimmed mustache and goatee, and his tanned skin is covered with a light coating of baby oil.] ["Bullfrog" Garrett Jax sports a large full-toothed grin, slightly crooked nose, and laughing dark brown eyes. Bullfrog wears crisp blue jeans, white rattlesnake skin cowboy boots, and a dark purple wrangler shirt. The shirt is opened to show a hairless well-muscled chest. The sleeves are rolled up to the elbows, showing strong tanned forearms. Above the left pocket, "BULLFROG" is embroidered in white letters. A black Stetson cowboy hat covers a head covered with short brown curly hair.] [The fans cheer as the boys enter the ring. Jax does a muscle pose at center ring, while Griffin ascends a ring post to work up the crowd.] JEFREY -- And their opponents! ["My Way" by Limp Bizkit cranks up, as the cheers turn to boos instantaneously.] JEFREY -- They hail from Dublin, Ireland! Standing 6 foot 2 and weighing 172 pounds, Riley O'Rourke! Standing 6 foot 4 and weighing 195 pounds, Neal O'Rourke! Together, they are ... REALIZATIONS OF GRANDEUR! [Neal and Riley come down the aisle way -- Neal with his John Lennon shades and Riley, a bit slimmer with auburn hair. They enter the ring to face the Boys Next Door. Griffin hops down from his corner to come over and face the O'Rourkes with his partner.] EUGENE -- The Boys Next Door were disgusted by the O'Rourke brothers' actions at the battle royal two weeks ago. These two Irish boys cheated, using handcuffs to the top rope so Neal could stay in the battle royal longer. Then when the Boys intervened and cut the cuffs, the O'Rourkes left them laying. Now the Boys Next Door have come to teach these O'Rourkes a lesson. DING DING DING!! EUGENE -- And they're off! [Griffin pairs off with the smaller O'Rourke brother, Riley, while Jax pounds away at Neal. Griffin snap mares Riley over, then runs to the ropes and comes back with a low drop kick to Riley's head. After trading a few punches, Jax elevates and plants Neal with a Rydeen bomb.] EUGENE -- The Boys Next Door, in control early! OWEN -- They're "too sexy" for this match! [Griffin holds the grounded Riley by the hair, and Jax does the same with Neal O'Rourke. They turn to each other, and the crowd cheers in response! Griffin and Jax stand up the O'Rourkes and then ram the two brothers' heads together to another big cheer! The two O'Rourkes stand in the middle of the ring, dazed. The Boys grab them by the heads and throw them out over the top to a huge crowd roar! Jax poses, while Griffin runs to the corner and does a backflip off the second turnbuckle, landing on his feet, just to show off.] EUGENE -- Larry, your take on this match? LARRY -- Well, you're seeing the Boys Next Door get the early advantage, but I think the O'Rourkes can bounce back. They're much scrappier than these two prissy sissies from Wyoming. And look at Garrett "Cracker" Jax. I call him that because he looks like he's been eating too many Cracker Jacks. He looks a little soft, Euge. Softer than Justin Arcola watching straight porn. EUGENE -- With Hellshock, I'm sure. Right. Owen, can you give me a serious comment? OWEN -- I think the Boys have the ROG outsized -- their smallest guy outweighs the biggest O'Rourke. But if ROG can work Neal's height and reach advantage over Griffin correctly, and they can do some double-teams, they can win this thing. [Jax goes to his team's corner at referee Bob Sanford's urging, while Griffin goes out of the ring to find Riley O'Rourke on the outside. They begin to tangle on the floor.] EUGENE -- This thing's maybe not going to be the prettiest match! It's Riley's street fighting ability against Griffin's bar fighting ability! [Neal, getting up from being thrown out, goes over to try a double team, but Sanford cuts him off and shepherds him toward his own corner. Then he breaks up Riley and Griffin and points for them to get in the ring. Griffin does ... Riley just yells at Sanford before complying.] EUGENE -- That's better! Scientific wrestling at its finest! That's what we're going to see now! [Griffin hits Riley with a standing dropkick, then stands and hits the rising Riley with another. He tosses Riley to the ropes, then catches him with an overhead suplex throw. Riley gets up, and Griffin flattens him with a clothesline. Both men get up, and Riley catches Griffin with a finger thrust to the Adam's apple, using his own body to conceal the act from Bob Sanford's sight.] EUGENE -- Fingers to the throat! That's one of the oldest, dirtiest tricks in the book! [Riley follows that up with an eye rake, which Sanford does see. He scolds Riley, leaving a disoriented Griffin time to tag the corner. Jax takes the tag and comes in. He comes right up behind Riley, who is still bickering with the referee. He taps Riley on the shoulder. Riley turns around ...] EUGENE -- SPINEBUSTER! [Jax turns and tags Griffin back into the match. Griffin pauses, surprised the tag came so soon, then enters quickly and drives his elbow, Bret Hart style, into the prone Riley. He stands Riley up, then floors him with a standing rana. He lands in a mount, with Riley's back to the mat, and starts punching.] CROWD -- ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! [Griffin looks to the crowd, and they cheer their approval.] CROWD -- TEN! [Sanford admonishes Griffin, who stands and pulls Riley to his feet. He turns Riley around with a standing reverse neckbreaker, then rams Riley to his own corner, forcing Riley to tag in Neal.] OWEN -- That wasn't necessarily a wise move. Neal's rested. EUGENE -- It's going well for the Boys Next Door, and they'd feel cheated if they didn't get to beat up BOTH O'Rourke brothers. Don't you think, Larry? LARRY -- I always say, just win baby. In a tag team match, your goal is to cut that ring in half. Make sure the other guy's partner never makes it in in the first place. [Neal O'Rourke does the "I block your punch, you don't block mine" with Griffin. He follows with a headbutt. He then boastfully challenges Griffin to a test of strength.] OWEN -- Now see what I said about mismatches. Neal's taller than Sammy and tall is the name of the game when you play "Mercy." LARRY -- I thought "Mercy" was the name of the game of "Mercy." Otherwise it wouldn't be called "Mercy." [The two men clasp hands high over their heads, and Neal O'Rourke gets the advantage over Griffin. Griffin drops to one knee, as Neal overpowers him. But as Neal presses Griffin down further, the "Angel" does not budge. Instead, he flexes and begins to fight back.] OWEN -- Griffin, showing his resilience! [Griffin slowly stands up to his full height and then, somehow, gains leverage on Neal O'Rourke. A pained look appears on Neal's face as he is forced down to one knee. Out of desperation, he uses Griffin's power against him, pulling him in and then biting him on the arm.] EUGENE -- That's just unfair! Biting has no place in a scientific wrestling contest! Neal O'Rourke ought to be ejected! He ought to be fined! [After both men stand, Neal follows up with a palm strike to Griffin's chest, flattening him to the mat.] EUGENE -- That's illegal too! And dangerous! LARRY -- You complain about closed fists. Now you're complaining about an open one? EUGENE -- The palm strike is a dangerous martial arts move! That could fracture a rib! [Riley with a standing leg drop on Griffin. Then another. Then a third. He boastfully points both thumbs to himself to a chorus of boos. He goes to a corner and climbs it. He waits. Griffin slowly begins to stand up.] EUGENE -- Corkscrew body press suicida! [But Griffin, reacting by reflex, ducks out of the way!] EUGENE -- MISSED! [Griffin crawls toward the corner, where Jax awaits. Neal crawls after him. He grabs Griffin's leg ... but then Griffin makes a final lunge and gets the tag anyway.] EUGENE -- Garrett Jax picks up Neal O'Rourke and nails a standing powerslam! Now he picks him up ... gorilla press! [Jax presses Neal up and down a few times, then lets him fall. Neal crashes to the mat. Griffin is still recovering in the corner. Jax picks up Neal in a fireman's carry, then spins him around into a diamond cutter.] EUGENE -- "Bullfrog" Jax is dominating with his power here. Now he stands Neal up and ... OWEN -- He's asking for the tag here from Griffin. Is that wise? [Griffin gets a look on his face, but reluctantly accepts the tag from Jax. He takes Neal and puts him in a headlock.] EUGENE -- You're right, Owen. Griffin has done the majority of the work in this match, and he's taken all of the beating. Why's Jax huffing in the corner there? Is he out of shape? LARRY [Munching one of his hot dogs] -- Brian Nelson sends people down here to get back into shape. Maybe Garrett Jax didn't get the message. You know, there's more opportunity than ever in the I-Slash, and some of the younger talents simply aren't stepping forward to take advantage. PCW is much the same. People need to address their weight issues. If Jax did that he could be a main event talent. EUGENE -- Where have I heard these kind of remarks before? [Griffin, done working the headlock, converts it seamlessly into an abdominal stretch. He then then rolls it into a Banana Split pin/submission move. Neal's legs are split wide, one held by Sammy's arms, the other by his legs.] EUGENE -- Banana split! Banana split! LARRY -- [setting down the empty paper box that his hot dog was in] Where? Where? Over here, Mr. Concession guy! [He holds up a five dollar bill.] EUGENE -- No, not that kind of banana split. They don't sell those here -- only frozen malts. I'm talking about the banana split in the ring. It's a submission hold. Now, what were you saying about people's weight issues? LARRY -- Nothing. [He wipes a piece of stray sauerkraut off his beard.] EUGENE -- Oh brother. Neal O'Rourke is writhing in pain here ... and now his shoulders are down! ONE! TWO! Not enough! [Because Neal raises a shoulder. But then it's down again.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! [No. Neal raises the shoulder again. His teeth clenched in pain, he falls back again.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! [Neal reaches up to lift his shoulder and break it. Just then, Riley O'Rourke enters the ring. He almost makes it over to Neal and Griffin, but Sanford cuts him off and scolds him back to his corner. Griffin tags in Jax, who levels Neal with a power bomb. Then, Jax points to the sky ... and tags in Griffin.] OWEN -- Another quick tag by Jax. He should be finishing Neal O'Rourke off, but he's leaving that to his partner. A questionable decision. [Taking advantage of the five-second rule, Jax holds Neal O'Rourke by the legs, as Griffin climbs slowly to the top. He stands on the top rope ... and executes a frog splash headbutt to the shoulder of Neal O'Rourke!] EUGENE -- DEATH FROM ABOVE! [Griffin rolls out of the way in pain, unable to follow up with a pin attempt. Jax goes back to the outside, having tagged out. Griffin looks at him, but Jax doesn't see. He's busy working the crowd. Griffin finally turns back to Neal and tries a rollup.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! THREE! [DING DING DING!] OWEN -- I guess that was enough. ["I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred plays over the arena speakers, as Jax enters the ring to celebrate with Griffin. The dejected Neal O'Rourke rolls out to collect himself, as Riley O'Rourke just glares at the victorious Boys Next Door. He thinks better of attacking Griffin and Jax, though, and the O'Rourkes walk away.] EUGENE -- The Boys Next Door certainly seem like one of the favorites when the PCW Tag Team tournament gets going -- and get going it will on December 21! OWEN -- They're the former I-Slash World Tag Team Champions, but something is off about them right now, and I think it's Garrett Jax. He just seemed indifferent and out of shape tonight. But it didn't hurt against Realizations of Grandeur, who simply didn't come to play here. Sammy Griffin worked hard to earn this win for his team. EUGENE -- I guess I have to agree with you there. Now I'm told it's time for a Crow's Nest interview. We do one of these every week, usually with someone who's not wrestling on the card. Well, there IS no Crow's Nest here at the Rose Garden, so, we'll do this in the ring. ['Dragula' by Rob Zombie thunders through the arena bringing the crowd to their feet. Eugene is seen getting up from the broadcast table and climbing into the ring.] EUGENE -- I would like to introduce to you at this time.......... RAAAAAAANNNNNNNDALL SYKES!!! [The female fans in the crowd cheer as Randall walks out decked in black dress pants, white t-shirt and a black corduroy jacket over top. His brown hair is wet and brushed forward and his face is clean shaven. A smile is spread across his face as he smacks hands with the fans to either side before climbing up the steps and dipping through the ropes. He raises his fists in the air getting a reasonable pop before walking over to Eugene and graciously shaking his hand. Sykes puts his hands on his hips as Eugene brings the mic back up to his lips.] EUGENE -- Randall [pause] Tonight you asked, maybe even demanded that tonight you get to come out on this show and get something off of your chest. Well here's your chance. [Eugene holds the mic up to Sykes.] SYKES -- Thank you Eugene. Yeah I have had something I have had to get off my chest for quite sometime Eugene. Actually ever since the Battle Royal just a few weeks ago. Now I'm not a guy to complain [shakes head] don't get me wrong. I think Cordell Crane deserved to win and [shrugs] what can I say he is one hell of a talent. But what does race through my mind is whether or not I would be one of the final four Eugene. EUGENE -- What do you mean? SYKES -- Everyone saw what happened. I threw Dan Watterson over the top rope and eliminated him. His feet had touched the floor and he was out. But it didn't end there. No, instead he jumps back up on the apron and pulls me over the top rope. [The ladies in the crowd BOO! obviously some remembering that moment.] SYKES -- Now what the ref was doing at the time [shrugs] I don't know. I know the officials try to do the best job that they can and I can't really blame him for what happened. But [pauses and rubs his chin] I just wish that he would of listened to me. I wish he would given me the time to explain, possibly even show him what happened. EUGENE -- Well there is a match going on Randall. You know as well as I do that you just can't stop a match to listen to one wrestler, even if he does have a just cause. SYKES -- [nodding] I couldn't agree more Eugene. But if he would of listened and saw then I would of still been in the match. [points at himself] I could of been the one with my arms raised in victory or at least would of been one of the final four. But we'll never know now. It burns me up inside knowing that a jealous man ruined my chance to see EXACTLY where I was in PCW by eliminating me for his own selfish reasons and the fact that he is a sore loser. EUGENE -- Well.... [stammering somewhat] What do you plan to do Randall. We can't go back in time and right the wrongs.... [Sykes smiles and gently pats Eugene on the back.] SYKES -- I know that Eugene. I wish we could, but we can't. But I did do some thinking after the match Eugene. I thought about my fans, I thought about my family. I thought about PCW. I thought about how all three were deprived of seeing just how far Randall Sykes would of made it. I looked back and realized how all three were deprived of seeing this because Dan Watterson was a sore loser. [smiles] So I thought how could I repay back these three Eugene [taps temple] I sat down and thought 'How could I possibly make it up to the fans, [holds up index finger] My family [holds both his index and middle finger] and the PCW itself [holds up three fingers.] You know what I came up with Eugene? EUGENE -- What's that? SYKES -- After mulling over hundreds of solutions, one kept popping back up that made the most sense. Watterson [points a finger at the camera] you ruined my chance at glory. I was a victim of your greed. I was a victim of your own dissatisfaction of getting eliminated so quickly. So therefore I can't see any other way except for me and you to climb into a PCW ring and settle things once and for all. [CROWD POP!] EUGENE -- Are you challenging Dan Watterson?! SYKES -- Your damn right I am Eugene. Dan Watterson if you have guts, face me in the ring at the earliest possible date. Let's just see if you truly are 'The Man' that you claim to be. Lets see if you have the skill and the talent because we already know you don't have the heart or the courage to beat me! I challenge you to a match Watterson. At the earliest possible date, lets climb into the ring and see who the better man is. I know you have the experience advantage. I know you have the ring savvy. But Dan Watterson [pauses and points a finger] you don't have what it takes to defeat me. I know it [points at the fans] and these people know it! It's time for a little payback for what you cost me at the Battle Royal and trust me Watterson, there will be paybacks! [The crowd cheers. Sykes points into the camera again.] SYKES -- All you have to do is sign on the dotted line Watterson. If you think your so great... [shrugs and smirks] then prove it to me. [ 'Dragula' starts up again as Sykes shakes Eugene's hand before raising his fists in the air. He climbs out of the ring and heads to the back, slapping hands with the fans once again. Eugene follows him out of the ring, then reclaims his chair at ringside.] EUGENE -- Randall Sykes ... one of the promising young talents we have inked here in Pacific Coast Wrestling. OWEN -- Indeed. This kid is a blue chip talent, but it takes time to put it all together. I'll be interested to watch his progress from afar. EUGENE -- Now, next up, we have the prize that all these PCW teams really should be shooting for, and that's the I-Slash tag title which the Boys Next Door used to hold. It's the Killing Machines trying to take the titles from Infinite Justice. Without further ado, let's go to Jefrey McDonald for the introductions. =========================================================================== I-Slash tag team championship: Infinite Justice (c) vs. Killing Machines =========================================================================== JEFREY -- The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IWF/WOW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!! [POP!] ["Enter Sandman" by Metallica begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd cheers loudly.] JEFREY -- About to enter the ring are the challengers. From New York, New York, at a combined weight of five-hundred and five pounds, here are ... ... O V E R K I L L ! ... D E M O L I S H E R ! ... T H E K I L L I N G M A C H I N E S ! ! ! [Overkill and Demolisher slowly walk to the ring, looking forward with purpose. They are wearing matching sunglasses, black leather biker jackets, gloves, boots, and tights. As they enter the ring, they remove their jackets and shades. Demolisher raises his right fist in the air, and Overkill climbs to the top of the nearest turnbuckle, raising both index fingers in the air as the crowd cheers. "Enter Sandman" dissipates as the Killing Machines stare in the direction of their opponents.] JEFREY -- And now, introducing the champions ... [The house lights go down as the opening chords of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" begins to play over the house speakers. A series of star-shaped spotlights line the way up the aisle. The legions of fans get to their feet and begin to boo wildly.] JEFREY -- Introducing, at a total combined weight of 505 pounds, ladies and gentlemen ... the ___IWF/WOW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS___ ... J O H N N Y R E V E R E ! ... "D I X I E" D A V I S W A S H I N G T O N ! ... I N F I N I T E J U S T I C E ! ! ! ! ! [The fans continue to boo and hiss as Infinite Justice appear. Johnny is a tall, muscular man. He is clean shaven, and his medium-length brown hair is tied back into a neat pony tail. He wears star-spangled red white and blue long wrestling tights. The IWF/WOW Tag Team Title belt is wrapped around his waist. Davis Washington contrasts his partner's neat appearance. His dirty-blond hair hangs haphazardly to his shoulders, and his face sports a goatee. He is wearing blue jeans, and keeps his title belt over his shoulder.] [Johnny's countenance is all business: his eyes are focussed on the ring, though he pauses occasionally on his way up the aisle to slap hands with some of his younger fans. Meanwhile, Dixie has a huge grin plastered on his face and looks like he is spoiling for a fight.] [When the duo hits the ring, Dixie slides under the bottom rope while Johnny makes use of the ring steps. They face the crowd and shout "U-S-A!" raising their arm in the air for the final syllable. The crowd boos back at them as Infinite Justice prepares for their opponents.] [DING! DING!] OWEN -- There's the bell, and it's going to be Overkill starting things for the Killing Machines against "Dixie" Davis Washington. EUGENE -- We've got the two smaller members of their respective teams in the ring right now. The similarities in size between these two teams is uncanny. Washington at six feet, two hundred and thrity pounds, Overkill the exact same. Johnny Revere is at six four, two seventy four, Demolisher six six, two seventy five. LARRY -- I'd call that an even matchup. OWEN -- Overkill and Washington lock up. Side headlock by Washington. Overkill pushes Washington to the ropes and now whips him to the other side. Overkill to the ground, Washington leaps over him and bounces off the opposite side... Hip toss by Overkill... Washington lands on his feet!!... SAVATE KICK!! LARRY -- Caught him right in the chops! EUGENE -- Washington lifts Overkill and scoops him up... And slams him to the mat! Washington bounces off the ropes... And drives a knee across the forehead of Overkill!! OWEN -- Davis Washington lifts Overkill and shoves him into the Infinite Justice corner. Washington tags in Johnny Revere and the tag champions double whip Overkill into the ropes... FLAPJACK!! LARRY -- Man... Overkill's face bounced off the mat hard! EUGENE -- Washington gets one more stomp to the forehead in for good measure and then leaves the ring. Revere lifts Overkill and scoops him up over his shoulder... RUNNING POWERSLAM!! Revere goes for a quick cover!!.. 1 2 EUGENE -- Overkill kicks out early. LARRY -- It's way too early to get the fall, but by making Overkill kick out, Revere forced him to use a little bit more energy. OWEN -- Johnny Revere quickly lifts Overkill and drops him back to the mat with an inverted DDT! Revere not letting up as he lifts Overkill and tags in Washington. Davis Washington climbs the ropes as Revere holds Overkill... MISSLE DROPKICK!! Washington with a cover!! 1 2 OWEN -- Overkill kicks out again! EUGEN -- Washington stands and lifts Overkill to his feet. Washington shoves Overkill into the corner... He jabs him in the face, and again... Rapid fire jabs to the face of Overkill!! Overkill takes a wobbly, wild swing at Washington who moves and... WHAT A DROPKICK TO THE CHIN BY WASHINGTON!! LARRY -- This may well be the understatement of the year, but Overkill desperately needs to tag Demolisher over there. OWEN -- Big understatement Larry. Davis Washington props Overkill back up in the corner... MONKEY FLIPS him out!! Washington stands... AND GETS DRILLED BY A CLOTHESLINE BY DEMOLISHER!! EUGENE -- I guess Demolisher had seen enough, and wanted in on some of the action! LARRY -- He's getting antsy over in the corner watching his partner take these shots, and he wants in bad! EUGENE -- Washington is hurt. He nearly had his head taken clean off his shoulders by that lariat from Demolisher. Overkill is slowly working his way over to his corner, and the crowd here in the Rose Garden are urging him on! OWEN -- And there's the tag!!! Demolisher comes in and stomps on the back of Washington's head!! OH MY WORD!! Demolisher just drilled Johnny Revere and sent him hurtling off the apron and straight into the barricade!! EUGENE -- Demolisher lifts Washington and grabs him by the throat... BIG CHOKESLAM!!! Demolisher bounces off the ropes... LEGDROP CONNECTS!! Demolisher covers! 1 2 OWEN -- Washington kicks out!! LARRY -- He kicked out, but he looks hurt, and his partner isn't in any shape to help him out at this point in time. OWEN -- Demolisher lifts Washington and sets up behind him... RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!! Washington folded up like an accordian after that move! EUGENE -- He's lucky he didn't break his neck! Demolisher is just manhandling Davis Washington right now, and if Washington or Revere don't do something soon, they're going to lose their titles! OWEN -- Revere is getting back up on the apron now, but still looks a little sore from that punch and subsequent fall he took. Demolisher lifts Revere and tags in Overkill, who appears to have shaken off, at least to some extent the punishment he took earlier. Overkill is perched on the top rope... FLYING CLOTHESLINE!! EUGENE -- Washington's neck must be in rough shape by now! Overkill lifts him and quickly tags Demolisher back in. Demolisher comes in and lifts Washington up and presses him over his head... PRESS SLAM!! Demolisher covers!! 1 2 EUGENE -- Washington kicks out!! LARRY -- The kid can tak some shots. OWEN -- Demolisher lifts Washington. Davis Washington needs to find a way to slow the big man down... That'll do it!! "BOOOOOO!!" EUGENE -- Low blow by Davis Washington, and that despicable move will earn him some valuable time! LARRY -- It's an effective move if anything else. And Washington caught Demolisher good too. The big guy is in some serious pain! OWEN -- Washington is crawling over to his corner, and he tags in Revere. Revere quickly lifts Demolisher and whips him into the ropes... SPINNING SPINEBUSTER SLAM!!! He may have knocked the wind right out of Demolisher!! LARRY -- He may not have even noticed, cuz he's still clutching at his... boys. EUGENE -- Revere hooks a leg and covers!! 1 2 EUGENE -- Demolisher kicks out! LARRY -- Purely instinct. OWEN -- Revere lifts Demolisher... GERMAN SUPLEX!! 1 2 OWEN -- Demolisher kicks out again!! EUGENE -- Johnny Revere lifts Demolisher and whips him into the corner! Revere bounces off the ropes as Demolisher stumbles out of the corner... BULLDOG!! Revere hears a call from Washington and tags his partner in. Washington to the top rope... MOONSAULT!! Washington covers! 1 2 EUGENE -- Demolisher kicks out again!! OWEN -- Washington stands and tags in Revere. Johnny Revere steps in and lifts Demolisher... BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!! Another cover!! 1 2 OWEN -- OVERKILL BREAKS UP THE PIN WITH A FLYING LEG DROP TO THE BACK OF JOHNNY REVERE'S HEAD!! LARRY -- He may have knocked Revere loopy. EUGENE -- Demolisher is now working hard to get to his corner, as the fans here in the Rose Garden urge him on! [CRAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!] OWEN -- What in the hell? Davis Washington just drilled Overkill in the back with a steel chair!! LARRY -- Ref never saw it either, he was checking on Revere! EUGENE -- Demolisher is still looking to get the tag, and Overkill is still in the corner, but slumped over the top rope! I don't know if he's conscious or not! OWEN -- Demolisher doesn't even know what happened, and he's made a tag to Overkill, but Overkill may be out!! Revere is up, and asks the referee who's legal! Cartwright points to Overkill, and Revere unceremoniuosly drags him in!! Revere slams Overkill in the center of the ring and tags in Washington. Revere grabs Overkill's legs and slingshots him as Washington hits the ropes and... FLYING FOREARM!! That was the Stars and Bars!! LARRY -- If Overkill wasn't out before, he is now! EUGENE -- Washington covers!! 1 2 3!! OWEN -- Infinite Justice retain!! [DING! DING! DING!] JEFREY -- Here are your winners, and still IWF/WOW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS ... ["Battle Hymn of the Republic" plays.] ... I N F I N I T E J U S T I C E ! ! ! ! ! [Revere and Washington grab their belts desperately and make for the aisle.] OWEN -- It's amazing that two men who claim to be patriots of our fine country can have such bright yellow streaks down their backs. Bet the farm that the Men In Black will be back to challenge for those titles sometime soon, but also be on the lookout for Echo Dare & Cardiac! EUGENE -- We'll all be watching that situation closely. The I-Slash tag team division is heating up, that's for sure. But next ... speaking of patriots, here we will have two of a different kind. Canadian patriots. And they're going to fight for Canadian pride. LARRY -- Canadian pride ... isn't that an oxymoron? Like military intelligence, jumbo shrimp or EMWC superstar? EUGENE -- That may be. But I'm talking about tonight, and Jacob Jordan versus "Guardian" James Hudson. Owen? OWEN -- I don't know if Jordan can trust James Hudson. Jordan is definitely the good guy here. Hudson might not be, all explanations aside. But I don't think Jordan is taking his responsibilities seriously enough. I understand his pre-match preparations were absolutely nil. EUGENE -- He seems too concerned with getting back into I-Slash. OWEN -- Well, I-Slash sent him down for a reason, and he'd best get to work figuring that out. He has the talent to be a star here, not to mention the size, but he's going to have to work for it. Things are not going to be easier because this is the PCW. They're going to be harder because here, because of his name and I-Slash experience, Jordan is a target, and not just for jokes. EUGENE -- Well said. Larry, would you like to serenade us with another of your versions of "O Canada"? LARRY -- You bet! [He clears his throat.] EUGENE -- Well, don't. Let's go down to ringside, with Jefrey McDonald. =========================================================================== PCW singles match: "Guardian" James Hudson vs. Jacob Jordan =========================================================================== JEFREY MCDONALD -- The following contest will be a singles contest to one fall, not just for a winner's share of the purse, but for Canadian pride! Introducing first ... ["Livin' on the Edge" by Aerosmith plays over the loudspeakers.] JEFREY: He hails from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Standing 6 foot 5 and weighing 280 pounds, here is ... Jacob Jordan! [Jordan comes down to the ring. He has a look of determination in his green eyes, his dirty blond hair flying dissheveled as he rolls into the ring. He's wearing red sparkled pants and a white T-shirt, sleeves rolled up, with a Canadian maple leaf on the front. He climbs a corner, then makes a fist and pats it to his heart ... and the maple leaf. He then raises his chin to the sky and raises his fist in the air, to a good cheer from the crowd!] EUGENE -- Maybe his heart IS in this. OWEN -- It best be. He's the one who issued the challenge. [Aerosmith cuts off. "New Orleans is Sinking" by the Tragically Hip -- a Canadian rock band -- plays.] JEFREY -- And his opponent. He hails from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada! Standing 6 foot 2 and weighing 249 pounds, here is ... "Guardian" James Hudson! [Hudson comes down the aisle. He is an extremely well built man with dark brown hair. He wears a full body suit that looks like the Canadian flag (red arms and legs with a white middle portion with a red maple leaf). Hudson rolls into the ring.] OWEN -- Both men are mat technicians, but while Hudson favors submission wrestling, Jordan takes to the air at times. Similar, but contrasting styles. [DING DING DING!] [The two men circle at the center of the ring, each maneuvering for an advantage.] EUGENE -- Hudson says he has no ill will for Jordan, but he's going to teach him a wrestling lesson. Sounds like a good, clean fight to me. [Jordan finally shoots in to get a collar and elbow tie up. The two men grapple, then Hudson spins around and gets a waistlock from behind. He applies pressure to the back of Jordan's knee to assist himself in busting Jordan down to the mat. But just as quickly, he releases him and the two men stand back up and face each other.] EUGENE -- Round one goes to Hudson. [The two men circle. It's another collar and elbow tie up, but this time after Hudson spins to the back and applies a hammerlock, Jordan reverses it and torques the hammerlock in real good. Jordan ducks an elbow from Hudson, then bulldogs Hudson down to the mat.] EUGENE -- Round two to Jordan. The student schools the teacher. [Both men stand up, and they circle again. This time, Hudson shoots in and grabs a hold of Jordan's leg. He trips Jordan's other leg, and Jordan falls back first to the mat.] EUGENE -- Round three to Hudson. [Hudson keeps hold of the leg and applies a standing grapevine leglock, twisting Jordan's foot. Jordan kicks with his free foot but doesn't free himself from Hudson's grasp. Hudson releases Jordan's leg, then drives an elbow into Jordan's breadbasket. He stands, then leaps and drops both his heels into Jordan's midsection.] LARRY -- Hudson's trying to hurt Jordan in an area that isn't there. It's like trying to punch a Clippers fan in the brain. [Hudson stands, as Jordan clutches his groin in pain. Hudson looks down at the maple leaf on his shirt, and salutes it with a jingoistic glint in his eye. Then, he turns back to Jordan and picks him up into a front facelock.] EUGENE -- Swinging neckbreaker! [Hudson runs to the ropes, comes back, swings his leg over the fallen Jordan, and drops a corkscrew elbow. He springs back up, runs to the opposite ropes, and hits another corkscrew elbow. He's up again, off the ropes, and this time nails a legdrop. A cover ...] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! And Jordan kicks out! [Hudson pounds the mat, glaring at referee Bob Sanford. Sanford holds up two fingers, to reiterate his point that this was just a two count. Hudson returns to Jordan, picking up the younger Canadian by the hair. European uppercut! And as Jordan is dazed, Hudson runs to the ropes. But Jordan quickly recovers, runs to the other ropes, and they meet in the middle.] EUGENE -- Hip check! Jordan hits a hip check on Hudson! OWEN -- That's one of Hudson's favorite moves -- and Jordan used it against him! [Jordan stands over the collapsed Hudson, crouches, and straddles him. He starts pounding away at Hudson with some poorly-disguised closed fists. But Hudson brings his legs up, places them against Jordan's shoulders, and reverses the mount. Hudson pounds away on Jordan with fists of fury. Then, he simply grabs Jordan's head and pounds the back of it against the mat repeatedly.] EUGENE -- That could cause a concussion. LARRY -- But that's another area where Jordan can't be hurt. The brain. [Hudson grabs Jordan by the wrists and holds them against the mat, creating a pinning predicament. Sanford moves into position ...] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! [And Jordan reverses.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! [Reversal again.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! [Reversal.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! [Reversal.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! THREE! [DING DING DING!] [Both men stand up.] JEFREY -- Your winner, by a pinfall ... "Guardian" James Hudson! ["New Orleans is Sinking" plays. Hudson raises both arms and receives a strong cheer from the crowd. A dejected Jordan plods around the ring, then walks over to Hudson. He offers a hand ...] EUGENE -- What's going to happen here? Will Hudson accept this offer of sportsmanship ... and is Jordan sincere about it? OWEN -- I guess we'll have to see. [There's a pause -- Jordan's hand is out there empty for a seemingly long time. Then ... ] EUGENE -- Yes! [The two men shake hands, then Jordan raises Hudson's hand in the air to strong applause from the crowd!] EUGENE -- Jacob Jordan was taught a lesson here tonight, and he's accepting it with grace! Hudson is accepting Jordan's offer of friendship! OWEN -- We may be seeing the beginning of a beautiful friendship here! This could be a dangerous team for our upcoming tag team tournament! LARRY -- You mean, dangerous to themselves? Without a heelish killer instinct, Hudson is nothing. And Jordan's nothing in any event. [The Tragically Hip cut off, and "O Canada!" starts to play!] EUGENE -- I am told that we have a break in the action. The EWA Championship will be defended next, in a four-way matchup, but ... let's go to the back. [Backstage] [It's Darius, the big, young rookie from PCW, best friends with ... DARIUS - Hi, Paul. [Paul Kiljoy (!), challenger to the I Slash World championship] PAUL KILJOY - Darius. [nods] [silence] DARIUS - Look, I'm not wrestling tonight. I came here to see you, man. I came to see you beat Nate tonight, and bring home the title. PAUL KILJOY - Thanks, Darius. [silence] DARIUS - I've been watching you dude. I know you can do this, without ... you know, cracking. You don't have to get violent, man. You don't have to go psycho. You can do this. [pause] I'm right here for you, man. [Paul gives a long, blank stare] PAUL KILJOY - Well, I'm not all here, that's for sure. Anyway ... [he turns to go] DARIUS - WAIT! [Paul stops and turns back around, while Darius puts both of his massive hands on Paul's shoulders] DARIUS - Do it right tonight, Paul. Make your mother proud. Make us all proud. [Paul stares for a quick second, breaks Darius' grip, and exits] DARIUS - All right. [shakes head] Next time we meet things will be different, Paul. You'll see. I'll be in the main event. _I'll_ do it the right way. [clenched fists] DARIUS - In fact, I'll do it _better_ than you. [Back to ringside.] EUGENE -- Do it for mother? Why is Darius, the rookie, concerned with Kiljoy's mother? LARRY -- I think I was concerned with Kiljoy's mother back in about 1969. It was the SUMMER of '69, if you know what I mean. EUGENE -- Larry, you're a pig. LARRY -- That may be, but my boy's a bear! And he's about to win the EWA World Heavyweight Title back! EUGENE -- I have to admit, I'm rooting for him as well -- especially against the likes of Matthew Reason. But we'll have to see, won't we? =========================================================================== EWA World Heavyweight Championship fatal four-way match: Mark Ensassarol (c) vs. Matthew Reason vs. Eric Travers vs. Gunnar Gaines =========================================================================== JEFREY -- The following contest is scheduled for one fall! It is a fatal four-way for the EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!! [POP!!] JEFREY -- Introducing fir-fuh-huh? [Jefrey stammers as James Vandenbush jogs to the ring waving his arms like a lunatic. He climbs through the ropes, places his hands on his knees to catch his breath, then takes the mic. He is wearing a black tuxedo with a gold coloured vest and bow tie, and is beaming.] JAMES VANDENBUSH -- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! [POP!] JAMES VANDENBUSH -- Welcome to the Rose Garden; here in beautiful Portland, Oregon!! The following contest is scheduled for one fall for the EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP and it is tonight's MAIN EVENT!!! [TRADEMARK POP!!!!] JAMES VANDENBUSH -- This bout is brought to you by your UNdisputed, UNdefeated, KING OF BEEEEEEERS, BUDWEISER!! [The lights in the arena fade to complete darkness and the crowd erupts in a loud pop as the version of "Sad But True" from Metallica's S&M album begins to blast through the sound system.] JAMES VANDENBUSH -- Accompanied to the ring by the intoxicating Tricia Lane... From Toronto, Ontario... He stands six feet, two inches tall, and weighs in at two hundred and sixty-seven pounds... A man recognized the world over as the greatest IWF/WOW Heavyweight Champion of ALL TIME!!... He is the most talented... The best looking, and most charismatic superstar in the history of professional wrestling!! He is the THREE TIME former HEAVYWEIGHT... CHAMPION OF THE WOOOORRRRLD!!!... I give you the ONE... The ONLY ... THE LEGENDARY... ... "E P I C" ... E R I C T R A V E R S ! ! ! ! ! [The crowd reacts loudly again as Tricia Lane steps through the curtain, followed immediately by Eric Travers. Tricia Lane is wearing a tight fitting gold sequined dress, and gold heels. Her auburn hair is stylishly tied up. Travers is wearing his gold wrestling gear, consisting of gold trunks with Do the Dew across the back, gold Nike wrestling boots, gold knee pads with the Oakley O on them and gold elbow pads with the Maxim Magazine logo on the tips. Travers has dark blond hair, no facial hair, and no distinguishing marks on his body. Travers also wears his black personalized Nike t-shirt, and a pair of Platinum Oakley X-Metal Romeos with Gold lens'. The camera isolates on Travers, and in all four corners of the screen appear Travers' endorsers. In the top left corner is Oakley's logo, with the words "Half Art. Half Science." and a reference to www.oakley.com . In the top right is the Mountain Dew logo with the Do the Dew logo, and www.mountaindew.com . In the bottom left is the Nike Swoosh, with www.nike.com/canada . And in the bottom right is the Maxim logo, of course with www.maximonline.com accompanying.] EUGENE -- This is quite the entrance. LARRY -- You'd never see anything like this in my day. What's with this guy having his own damn ring announcer? What's wrong with using Jefrey? OWEN -- Eric Travers is a different animal guys. He's more arrogant than most, and his ego needs this grand entrance to satisfy it, and to satisfy the endorsements he has received from these big name companies. That said, you can't argue with what he's accomplished, and the fans respect the hell out of what he can do in a wrestling ring. EUGENE -- What is this? OWEN -- Can I see that? Thanks... Oh, right, Cordell isn't here to handle this... [With enthusiasm] Tonight, Eric Travers is brought to you by Oakley, Half Art, Half Science! By Nike Canada who encourage you to ... JUST DO IT! By Mountain Dew! _Do the Dew_. And by Maxim Magazine, The Best Thing To Happen To Men, Since WOMEN! LARRY -- Gimme a break. OWEN -- Sorry. Kit-Kat doesn't sponsor Eric Travers. But give it time! [Tricia Lane makes her way down the ramp and Travers follows, stopping every so often to point out to the fans that Lane is shapely, and all his. Lane climbs the steps, and is followed by Travers. Travers holds the ropes open for Lane, and then climbs in himself. Travers heads for the far corner, climbs to the second rope and raises his arms high in the air, eliciting a very loud cheer from the crowd. Travers removes his shirt and throws it into the crowd, then jumps down and walks over to Lane. Travers faces the main camera and wraps his arm around Lane's shoulder, pulling her in close and she puts her right arm across his abdomen. Lane then puts her head on Travers chest and Travers raises his left arm as some gold pyrotechnics explode behind them. The lights fade back on, and Travers loosens up, pulling on the ropes as he awaits the bell. Vandenbush hands the microphone to Jefrey McDonald and exits the ring.] JEFREY -- Coming down the aisle ... ##I know the pieces fit ## ##cuz I watched them fall away## ##Mildewed and smoldering## OWEN -- Here comes a close friend of the family, Larry. LARRY -- Yeah. Twice removed ... from his LUNGS after Gunnar leaves the ring with the EWA Heavyweight Title. Bringing it back to the mantle where it belongs. ##Fundamental differing## ##Pure intention just exposed## JEFREY -- Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall and weighing 269 pounds ... ##will set two lovers souls in motion## ##Disintegrating as it goes## ##testing our communication## ##The light that fueled our fire## JEFREY -- Hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada ... accompanied by EWA booking consultant "Slick" Rick Baptist ... he his "History's Next Derranged Mind" ... ##then has burned a hole between us so## ##We cannot see to reach an end## ##crippling our communication## ... M A T T H E W R E A S O N ! ! ! ! ! [With this out comes the Resident Psycho, Matthew Reason. Reason walks out wearing a black t-shirt which reads "Why do you Hate me?" in red blood letters, on the back "Tell me the Reason." Reason walks the aisle next to Baptist. He enters the ring and stays crouched as Baptist takes a corner.] JEFREY -- Their opponent ... ["Bad to the Bone" by George Thorogood and the Destroyers rings out, bringing the Portland crowd to their feet!] JEFREY -- He is from FAIRBANKS, ALASKA ... [HUGE POP!] JEFREY -- He stands 6 feet 5 inches tall, he weighs 357 pounds, and he is the former PCW and EWA champion! Introducing one of Portland's true legends ... G U N N A R ... "G R I Z Z L Y" ... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNEEESSSS! [Gunnar bursts through the entrance way with a determined scowl on his face. He paces on down to the ring quickly, rolling in and raising both fists in the air with a scream, bringing the crowd to a roar!] EUGENE -- They love Gunnar Gaines here in Portland! This is a town that appreciates good, old-fashioned ass kicking! And Gunnar delivers that by the bucketload! No frills ... just bad to the bone! LARRY -- Euge ... you're not saying ANYTHING that's not 100 percent true. My boy ... is simply the baddest. And for those of you playing the Larry Gaines drinking game at home ... that's your cue. EUGENE -- Indeed. What would this be without the obligatory "my boy Gunnar" reference? Drink up, indeed! [Matthew Reason exits the ring and stands at Baptist's side while Gunnar prowls the ring.] JEFREY -- And now, introducing the _champion_! [Lights go out.] [A loud high-pitched buzz screeches through the speakers.] #EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE......# BRITISH WOMEN"S VOICE: SHOCK TV IS NOW ON THE AIR. [Fans boo loudly as The Bloodhound Gang's No Rest For the Wicked starts to play.] #I GET BOMBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!# [Mack comes running out. He is dressed in a "HADES: THE GOD OF WRESTLING" T-shirt. His tights are silver with SHOCKER in red printed across the butt. He has matching silver knee pads and boots. He lifts up the belt and poses for a few seconds. ] #much like Pearl Harbor# JEFREY -- Making his way to the ring ... weighing in at 258lbs, and hailing from the city of champions, Pittsburgh, PA ... he is the ___ EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ___ ... "S H O C K E R" M A C K E N S A S S A R O L ! ! ! ! ! #The price is white right and I'm Bob Barker# #This is your brain on drugs# [He stops and gives the fans an angry sneer. They shower him with an "You suck" chant.] #This is your brain on Jackie Onassis# #All you crotch goblins can kiss our asses# #Yes siree Bob like corn on the cob# #I'm all buttered up ready to hob nob# #Daddy is a kraut you're Nazi-occupied France# [Mack approaches the apron and loudly exchanges words with a fan.] #I'm gonna rise to the occasion inside my pants# #So yo ass yea you I want to Fraggle Rock your girlie# #Coming around the party coming around like Mr. Furley# #I'm Mr. Furley you're Jack Tripper# #You're dumb ass Gilligan and I'm the Skipper# #Tiptoe through my tulips and come and frolic# #Cause my name is Betty Ford and she's an alcoholic# #So here I am Rock Me Like A Hurricane# #Not a Scorpion but my sting will bring your dame a lot of pain# #And Daddy's gonna tell ya I'm as cool as Jack The Ripper# #Somewhat of a cut-throat but still a big tipper# #As I tickle you pink I bet my fingers start to stink# #I'm what's missing from your life and you're the missing link# #It doesn't matter how you win or lose it's how you lick it....# [Mack rolls into the ring and climbs up the turnbuckle. He lifts his arms and leans his head back.] #NO REST FOR THE WICKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!# #GET DOWN! DRINK IT UP! BRING IT ON! TAKE IT OFF!# #GET DOWN! DRINK IT UP! BRING IT ON! TAKE IT OFF!# #GET DOWN! DRINK IT UP! BRING IT ON! TAKE IT OFF!# #GET DOWN! DRINK IT UP! BRING IT ON! TAKE IT OFF!# #GET DOWN! DRINK IT UP! BRING IT ON! TAKE IT OFF!# #GET DOWN! DRINK IT UP! BRING IT ON! TAKE IT OFF!# [He leaps down from the turnbuckle and turns around.] [POP!!] OWEN -- Travers strikes first with a double axe-handle! [DING! DING!] [With Ensassarol pinned in the corner, Travers pounds him furiously about the browe.] OWEN -- He's LIT, and he's beating the fear o' God into Mack Ensassarol! [Gunnar storms through the ropes, hops off the apron, and marches toward Reason. "History's Next Derranged Mind" takes refuge behind Rick Baptist.] LARRY -- Look at that sniveling twit cowering behind an even bigger chicken! My boy don't care! He'll tear right through Baptist like the cheap suit he's wearin'! EUGENE -- Traver sends Mack for the ride! [Ensassarol avoids disaster by hopping onto the second turnbuckle. He looks down and sees the back of Gunnar's head.] EUGENE -- MACK DIVES OVER THE TOP!! [He lands on Gunnar's back in piggyback fashion. He wraps one arm around his throat, and the other across his eyes. Reason shoves Baptist aside and kicks Gunnar between the legs.] OWEN -- Low blow! LARRY -- Reason wouldn't have a clue what that pain is like, being that he HAS NO spuds. EUGENE -- I feel compelled to remind you, Larry, that you are prohibited from leaving your position here tonight no matter WHAT occurs. LARRY -- I'm cool. OWEN -- Mack and Reason are laying the boots to Gunnar. Baptist getting in the fun now! But here comes Travers! [Eric baseball slides out of the ring and lands in perfect position to uppercut Reason.] OWEN -- A shot for Reason! There's one for Mack! [POP!] OWEN -- AND HE THROWS BAPTIST ACROSS THE FLOOR! [Reason, from his knees, waistlocks Travers and lunges toward the apron.] EUGENE -- Reason slams Travers against the ring! He keeps that waistlock applied as he plants his feet. "THUD!" "Uuuuuuhhh!!" EUGENE -- Belly-to-belly suplex! Right to the concrete floor! OWEN -- Gunnar can't quite shake the cobwebs out after that shot from Reason, as Ensassarol rolls him into the ring. Obviously, neither Reason or Mack want any part of their respective counterparts in this match. EUGENE -- Seems to me that Travers and Gunnar are fueled on pure emotion. Reason and Mack are actually operating on a system. Mack shoots Gunnar to the ropes. [POP!!] EUGENE -- GUNNAR DIVES BACK WITH A SHOULDERBLOCK! He mounts Ensassarol! It's the ground and pound! The ground and pound! Gunnar's feeding him right hands! Pulls him up. Irish whip to the turnbuckle! INCOMING! "CLING!" EUGENE -- AVALANCHE! Fireman's carry follows it up. "BAM!" EUGENE -- Samoan drop! Gunnar hooks the leg! 1 2 LARRY -- NEW CHAMP! EUGENE -- Not even CLOSE, Larry. Way too early for that. OWEN -- Reason bounces Travers off the post, guys! [Reason locks him in the full nelson. He jerks him up harshly and quickly rotates him into a front face lock before his feet hit the floor.] "Uuuuuhh!!" EUGENE -- FULL NELSON DDT! OWEN -- That's the Massacre of 34th Street! Reason spiked it, and Travers is on thin ice here! He drapes Travers across his shoulders. "CLANG!" "GASP!!" EUGENE -- DEAR GOD! OWEN -- Fireman's carry into hotshot across the barricade! [Baptist, crouching near the scene, nods in approval.] EUGENE -- Travers is in need of serious miracle here. OWEN -- And Reason's content to stay out there and continue the damage. He isn't interested in another altercation with Gunnar in the slightest. LARRY -- If only he had a choice. EUGENE -- Gunnar has Mack cornered once again. There's two soupbones to the temple! And a forearm smash across the jaw! [Gunnar steps back, admires his work, and then steps back in.] EUGENE -- And there's an uppercut! [Mack's legs fly over his head, resulting in him falling right on his can. Gunnar pulls him up immediately.] EUGENE -- Grizzly Gutwrench! Gunnar's never content to simply let you go. He makes sure to drive you down to that mat, every inch of the way. And he decides to cover! 1 2 LARRY -- MY BOY DID IT! EUGENE -- No ... he DIDN'T. But he's closing in. [Reason guides Travers around the ring with a headlock.] OWEN -- Reason's gonna hammer Travers skull right into the ring post. [Reason runs toward the post, but his grip isn't tight enough. Travers heaves him straight off.] [POP!] OWEN -- IMPACT PLUS! Reason takes the bullet! "Uuuuuuhhh!!" OWEN -- TRAVERS WITH A SPINEBUSTER! He's feeling his oats now! EUGENE -- Gunnar's still controlling the EWA Heavyweight Champion inside the ring. I'm sure he'd love to get his hands on Reason, but he's on a roll. He's got the champion teetering and he knows that any minute now he could walk away with the championship he thought he retired and live to fight Reason another day. LARRY -- That's my seed. Always thinkin' a step ahead. EUGENE -- Did you have to say seed? Waitaminute. Gunnar's scaling the turnbuckles! This looks like ... OH MY YES ... LARRY -- THE GRIZZLY SPLASH!! [Gunnar points to his intended target and flaps his gums.] LARRY -- Stop squawkin', boy! Get to squashin'! "BA-BAM!" "Uuuuuuuuhhhh!!" EUGENE -- NO! IT'S TRAVERS! TRAVERS SHOVED GUNNAR OFF THE TOP! OWEN -- He still remembers getting Grizzly Slammed on the ramp at Summer Explosion! [Gunnar rests a few feet away from Ensassarol on all fours, shaking his head. Travers, on the apron, looks over his shoulder to see Reason almost up. He takes care of that with a half-twist body press.] [POP!!] OWEN -- Look at that dexterity! Travers is on fire! EUGENE -- Ensassarol with a back mounted cradle! HE COULD HAVE GUNNAR RIGHT HERE! 1 2 [POP!!] OWEN -- NO! Gunnar busts out like a tightly wound spring! He's certainly the hometown boy. What a partisan crowd! EUGENE -- Gunnar left his mark on the Northwest, that's for sure. OWEN -- Travers tosses Reason into the ring, and for the first time in this contest we have more than two bodies in the same vicinity. [Travers climbs the apron and prepares to climb through, but Mack races over and dropkicks him right in the head.] EUGENE -- Mack denies Travers entry! The former three-time IWF/WOW World Champion plummets to the concrete! OWEN -- Look at Mack trying to revive Reason now. I think he's trying to form a temporary alliance with the madman! EUGENE -- He's already bribed Baptist, Reason's apparent manager. I could definitely see it happening. OWEN -- Speaking of Reason's manager, conspicuous by her absence is Samantha Bevins, the woman Reason intends to marry on Graphic Nature. I don't think ANY of us have any idea what to expect when that goes down. EUGENE -- Gunnar's closing in on Ensassarol. Mack's desperately trying to bring Reason around, who's still groggy from the offense of Travers. LARRY -- Look at the terror in that little runt's eyes! Hah hah! [Gunnar reaches down and clamps his hands down on both sides of Mack's head. He jerks him up violently, nearly separating his head from his shoulders in the process.] EUGENE -- He scoops him up! "BAM!" EUGENE -- HAMMERLOCK POWERSLAM! That could've broken Mack's arm! Gunnar bounces off the ropes. And there's a splash! OWEN -- Mack's arm was still trapped behind him! EUGENE -- Here's the cover! Larry, contain yourself! 1 2 LARRY -- WE GOTTA NEW-- EUGENE -- REASON PULLED GUNNAR OFF! [And then immediately rolls out of the ring. Baptist quickly hands Reason an object, which he conceals in his hand and brings back into the ring. He doesn't get past the ropes before Gunnar grabs him by his greasy hair and jerks him through.] LARRY -- Heads up, boy! The man's got a weapon! EUGENE -- Gunnar fires him across the ring! Misses a clothesline! [Gunnar spins on his knees and catches a boot from Reason to the stomach. He leans forward instinctively and straight into a right hook that puts him on his ear.] OWEN -- KNUCKLE DUSTERS! Reason knucked Gunnar right in the head! LARRY -- Dirty son of a-- EUGENE -- And Gunnar's busted open! Wide open! OWEN -- REASON COVERS HIM! WE MAY HAVE A WINNER! 1 2 THR-- [POP!!!] OWEN -- GUNNAR KICKS OUT!! [Reason mounts the Grizz and fires several more loaded fists into his head. Gunnar's forehead is smothered in his own blood by the time Reason climbs off.] EUGENE -- Look at this! Reason handing the knucks back to Baptist, and Baptist is handing him the EWA HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! Reason has the belt! He's holding a piece of Gunnar's legacy once again! LARRY -- He doesn't deserve to look at his reflection in that beauty! [Reason crouches and wipes his fingers through Gunnar's blood. He smears it across the face of the belt and stares at it. Somehow he's entranced by the mixture of his reflection and Gunnar's blood.] "Booooooooo!!!" OWEN -- That's DISGUSTING! Reason is KISSING the title! His lips are pressed against Gunnar's blood! Even Baptist looks grossed out! What the hell kind of man is this!? WHAT KIND OF SICK, DISTURBED HUMAN BEING-- [POP!!!!] EUGENE -- TRAVERS FROM BEHIND!! HE BULLDOGS REASON ONTO THE TITLE!! TRAVERS MAKES THE COVER!! 1 2 "AAAAAAAWWW!!" OWEN -- The Shocker breaks it up!! [He jerks Travers up and looks to set him up for a rock bottom. Instead of falling forward, he drops to one knee, cracking Travers spine across his knee.] OWEN -- Pittsburgh brackbreaker!! The champion is showing offense! He picks Travers up into a rear waistlock. German suplex! He's gonna roll into another one! And yeah, he got it! It's a pin with the bridge! 1 2 [POP!!] OWEN -- Travers kicks out!! [Mack turns him onto his stomach.] EUGENE -- THE KEYSTONE CLUTCH!! HE'S GOING FOR-- [But Travers scrambles away.] EUGENE -- He almost had it! Mack almost had Travers in the hold that brought him to the dance! OWEN -- Reason just picked up the EWA title again. He's stalking Gunnar from behind! [Gaines rests on one knee. He wipes the blood off his forehead and stares at his hand for a moment before angrily rising and turning into a swing of the title from Reason.] [POP!!] LARRY -- HE DUCKED!! "BAM!!" OWEN -- JAPANESE OCEAN SUPLEX! EUGENE -- Where'd he learn THAT!? OWEN -- Gunnar kicks the belt out of the ring! He's limiting Reason! He picks up the man that's tormented him! The man who's vandalized his legacy! The man who's terrorized his wife! His grandfather! And even you, Larry! LARRY -- He don't scare me. OWEN -- Gunnar can taste revenge! It's on the tip of his tongue! [The crowds POPS(!!!) as Gunnar slaps his hand around Reason's neck.] OWEN -- HERE COMES THE GRIZZLY SLAM!! [He places a hand on the small of Reason's back and elevates him at least three feet off the mat.] EUGENE -- Look at the power! "BOOOOOOOOOO!!!" OWEN -- MACK CLIPPED HIM! HE CLIPPED GUNNAR! [Gunnar reaches back to the pit of his knee and collapses. Reason stumbles back into the ropes. He's aware enough to spot Gunnar on his knees. Mack grabs Gunnar's wrists, spreads his arms out, and jabs a knee into his spine. Reason dashes toward them.] EUGENE -- Reason knees him in the head! [Mack doesn't release him. Instead he lifts Gunnar up, rotates, and ... ] "BAM!" OWEN -- Reverse underhook DDT! The cover! TO RETAIN! 1 2 [POP!!!] OWEN -- TRAVERS SWOOPS IN! He breaks it up with a double axe-handle! [Reason is occupied on the outside the ring, setting up a table with Baptist.] EUGENE -- Reason and Baptist are stacking up lumber out there. No good can result from that. LARRY -- They aint no Logging Company. OWEN -- Gunnar rolls out! He's coming up behind Reason! "CRACK!" [POP!!] OWEN -- AND SLAMS HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE TABLE! He scoops Reason over his shoulder! "Uuuuuuhh!!" EUGENE -- TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE ON THE CONCRETE! [Gunnar picks up Reason's lifeless frame and spreads it across the table.] OWEN -- Oh my! The table is set, and Gunnar's about to pull up a chair! [The Grizz takes a look over his shoulder. His eyes settle on Rick Baptist.] EUGENE -- I think he just found his side dish! [The crowd goes bananas as Gunnar grabs Rick by the collar and raises him over his head.] OWEN -- GORILLA PRESS! "THUD!" [POP!!] OWEN -- AND HE DROPPED BAPTIST BACK FIRST ACROSS HIS KNEE! EUGENE -- He may have just broken the man in half! The patriarch of the Extremist Wrestling Association! The man who Gunnar always thought was one of his biggest fans! Gunnar may have just PARALYZED HIM! LARRY -- And I say GOOD! Now behead the little rat and mount him over the fireplace next to Silencer! [Gunnar stacks Baptist onto Reason. He climbs onto the apron and raises his elbow into the air. The crowd BEGS him for it. In the background, Travers pounds Ensassarol in the corner.] OWEN -- OH MY GOD! GUNNAR'S GONNA-- [He races across the apron and flies off with a 350 plus pound elbow drop.] <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> "C-C-C-CRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!" "TTTTTHHHHHHUD!!!" [POP!!!!!] "GUN-NAR!!! GUN-NAR!!!" "GUN-NAR!!! GUN-NAR!!!" "GUN-NAR!!! GUN-NAR!!!" LARRY -- HELL YEAH!! OWEN -- HE PUT 'EM BOTH THROUGH THE TABLE!! REASON _AND_ BAPTIST!! [Gunnar winces a bit as he pulls Reason out of the rubble and tosses him into the ring.] EUGENE -- Gunnar's got Reason in the ring! "Slap!" [He cuffs him around the neck, lifts him, and ... ] <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> EUGENE -- __GRIZZLY SLAM__!! __GRIZZLY SLAM__!! IT'S ALL OVER BUT THE SHOUTING!! [Gunnar hooks the leg. The crowd counts along.] "One!!" "Two!!" "_THREE_!!" "AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW!!!" OWEN -- KEYSTONE CLUTCH!!! KEYSTONE CLUTCH!!! MACK PULLED GUNNAR RIGHT OFF AND INTO THE CLUTCH!!! EUGENE -- Waitaminute, Owen! Travers is crawling out of the corner! He just draped an arm over Reason! 1 2 OWEN -- Mack's not looking! 3!!! [POP!!!] OWEN -- MY GOD HE DID IT!! [DING! DING! DING!] OWEN -- WE GOT A NEW EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! IT'S ERIC TRAVERS! IT'S "EPIC" ERIC TRAVERS!! [Mack releases the hold with a look of pure terror on his face. He sees Bob Sandford walking toward Travers carrying the EWA Heavyweight Title as he rolls off of Reason.] EUGENE -- Ensassarol is in shock! He can't believe what just happened! And neither can we! JEFREY -- Here is your winner ... ["Sad But True" from Metallica's S&M album plays.] ... and _NEW_ EWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ... ... "E P I C" ... E R I C T R A V E R S ! ! ! ! ! [POP!!!] OWEN -- Travers did it! He capitalized! He took advantage of the Grizzly Slam on Matthew Reason! Gunnar's hurt! Reason's unconscious! Ensassarol is paralyzed with shock! Travers is standing! Travers is STANDING! [The crowd POPS(!!!) as Eric raises the EWA Heavyweight Title over his head.] EUGENE -- What a champion he'll make! It seems as though Travers and the EWA title were meant to be together! LARRY -- Hello? Gunnar retired that damn belt! This whole match is a farce as far as I'm concerned! [Suddenly, the crowd pops as they realize who's coming down the aisle.] OWEN -- Wait a minute! Look who's coming down the aisle! EUGENE -- It's Steve Spector! A former PCW Heavyweight Champion! Back here in the Northwest! OWEN -- But he wasn't expected to be here! He must have chartered his own flight. [Walking down towards the ring with a purpose is Steve Spector, who climbs into the ring and without hesitation asks for the microphone.] SPECTOR -- Well... [Spector looks out over the crowd, and turns his attention towards Eric Travers.] SPECTOR -- It should've been obvious why I ended up in I-Slash. It really shouldn't have been that hard to figure out. [There's a brief pause, before Spector points towards the EWA Championship title belt.] OWEN -- Anthony Edwards has been hounding him about this for the past couple of weeks. We're ALL wondering exactly why Spector showed up at November Pain. SPECTOR -- I started in this business in the good ol' EWA.. it helped me get a foot in the door, and helped me realize how big of a star I could be in this business if I put my mind to it. Without the knowledge and everything else I picked up during my time there, I wouldn't have made a name for myself. I owe a lot to the old EWA, and I definitely wouldn't trade my time there for anything else in the world. [Crowd pops!] SPECTOR -- It was sad when the EWA shut it's doors, and... [Spector pauses for a second as the crowd dies down.] SPECTOR -- I realized something.. I never held the EWA World Heavyweight Title. Hell.. I never even had a _SHOT_ at the title. EUGENE -- I think he owes that to the Dark Destroyer. A thorn in Spector's side from here in PCW, all the way to Baltimore. [That's true pop!] SPECTOR -- When I heard the EWA World Title was resurrected, I got a call from my half-brother, Mr. Robinson, who told me the story. It took a while for me to decide what I was going to do.. after all.. The EWA is dead. [A mixed reaction to Spector's statement buzzes throughout the arena.] SPECTOR -- Sure, the memories may live on in all the wrestlers that passed through it's doors. From guys in the I-Slash like Gunnar Gaines, DTP, Super Scott.. to men like Caleb Temple and Dark Destroyer. Those men have been through the EWA, and even held the EWA Title at one point or another, and they have all made their marks in wrestling history. Doesn't mean that the EWA is alive, not at all. The only thing left from the EWA is that belt.. a symbol of days gone by.. [Spector points once again to the title belt.] SPECTOR -- The EWA, the LOOP, is dead. That belt.. is worthless. In the grand scheme of things, it has no meaning. [Spector lowers his head as a mixed pop rains down in the arena.] SS: But.. It has one meaning to me. [A confused buzz replaces the mixed pop.] SPECTOR -- Let me set things straight. I'm not here representing anybody but me. I'm not here to revive the EWA or the LOOP. I'm here.. for the belt. I'm here for a chance at something I've never had the privelige to hold. Once I hold this title belt, I'm hoping Nelson and Baptist come to their senses and realize that the legacy that the EWA has should no longer be tarnished. All it is now is something that has leeched on to I-Slash.. and that just makes me sad. I'm going to put a stop to it.. the EWA.. the name.. the history.. the title belt should not be used like this. I'm going to save the I-Slash.. and I'm going to save the EWA. [Spector stares down the EWA champion to a crowd pop!] SPECTOR -- I hope you realize that belt does not belong to you.. and I'm going to do everything in my power to take it from you... before the history and legacy of the EWA is pissed on and ruined forever. See you in the ring. [The crowd pops as '101 North' by Tomahawk plays over the PA. Spector walks slowly out of the ring, not keeping his eyes off of Travers for one second. After walking backwards down the ramp for a few moments, continuing to stare down the champion all the while, Spector turns and heads up the ramp to a big pop!] OWEN -- What about THAT! Spector laying it all on the line tonight! HE wants to retire the EWA Heavyweight Title! He wants to acquire the belt he never so much as received a SHOT AT! And he said it right to Travers face! [The ring seems to have cleared of everyone by Travers, who has the belt over his shoulder and his eyes still glued to the aisle where Spector just stood, and Mack Ensassarol, whose face is buried in his hands.] EUGENE -- Does that mean we can look forward to Travers defending the title against Spector? OWEN -- You've gotta believe DTP will make that one happen. He's no fool. And--WHOA! HEY NOW! "BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" OWEN -- ENSASSAROL, THAT BASTARD, JUST ATTACKED TRAVERS FROM BEHIND! [Mack stands over the keeling Travers the rips the title off his shoulder.] "Uuuuuuuuhhhh!!" OWEN -- And he clocked him with the belt! Dammit! [Mack screams at Eric that "You didn't pin me!! I didn't lose!! ENASASSAROL _ALWAYS_ WINS!!". He drops to his knees, kissing Travers upside the head once more.] OWEN -- This is over! Someone stop this! EUGENE -- He's leaving with the belt, Owen! Mack's leaving with the title! [Mack looks into the camera, holding the title proudly as we follow him up the aisle. He's still shouting. "No one pinned me! You didn't pin me, Travers! I'M STILL CHAMPION! YOU DIDN'T PIN ME, DAMMIT!"] OWEN -- Mack's refusing to turn over the belt! This is not sportsmanship! EUGENE -- I think we need to get Travers some help here. [Backstage] [Pacing] [We see Jake Arcola with a towel around his waist, soaken wet, pacing back and forth as a stage hand walks in and knocks on the door.] Stagehand: Jake... You ready? [Arcola stops pacing for a second, looks up and shakes his head no.] JA: Just give me a few minutes here. Stagehand: Ok. [Arcola paces back and forth.] JA: This is it. This is my chance, my opportunity. Tonight, Kenneth Morlock and Jake Arcola team up, for the first time, possibly the last time-- to face off against Fairview and Blade. It's not going to be easy, it never is. I think it's time though, the first step in rising to the top once again, the first step in the shoes of my big brother. [Arcola looks in a mirror, throws water in his face, opens the door and walks out of the room shutting the door behind him.] [Camera begins to fade to black... but turns back on as a door flies open.. "OH SHIT!" [Jake grabs his gym bag and pulls his wrestling attire out of his bag.] "Where's my head at?" [Arcola smiles and leaves the room with his attire in his hand.] [Back at ringside.] EUGENE -- I am told that Jefrey McDonald has an announcement regarding Texas Jack. Let's go on down to the ring. [DING DING!] JEFREY MCDONALD -- Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to announce that "Texas" Jack Danson will not be appearing tonight at Ring in the New. He was unable to make his connection, and will not be able to make it to the arena tonight. And that plays into our next match. The man who makes the winning pinfall in this tag team match, will REPLACE Texas Jack in the four way match for the PCW title tonight! [The crowd cheers!] EUGENE -- Wow! That's a huge, blockbuster announcement! That means that our new champion, our first champion in years, could be one of SEVEN men, not just one of four men! It's going to be VERY unpredictable tonight! LARRY -- Now, Jake Arcola has a shot! North Fairview has a shot! Kenneth Morlock has a shot. And, Eugemire ... EUGENE -- I know, I know. Don't say it. LARRY -- Darren Blade has a shot! Darren Blade wants the Northwest championship ... if the Northwest Championship wants Darren Blade! EUGENE -- What's that supposed to mean? I realize you're trying to invoke Blade's tagline, but you're making absolutely no sense! =========================================================================== PCW tag team match: Jake Arcola and K. Morlock vs. N. Fairview and D. Blade =========================================================================== ["Cure" by Metallica cranks up throughout the arena.] JEFREY MCDONALD -- This is a tag team contest to one fall! Introducing first ... from Greenwich, Connecticut, standing 6 foot 1 and weighing 245 and a half pounds, Darren Blade! And his partner, standing 6 foot 5 and weighing 250 pounds, North Fairview! [The two men come into the aisleway, wearing custom-printed T-shirts. Fairview has "JAKE ARCOLA'S MY BITCH" on the front, with "JUSTIN'S _JUST_ A BITCH" on the back. Blade will have "EUGEMIRE CURTIS IS MY FATHER" on the front and "JUSTIN ARCOLA IS MY MOTHER" on the back.] LARRY -- HAHAHAHAHA! Those shirts are hilarious! And they're handing extras out to the fans! EUGENE -- My God. This is beyond tasteless. [But it's true. Fairview and Blade hand out their customized T-shirts -- but the fans refuse to accept them. One spits on the shirt and throws it back in Blade's face! Blade gets a glaring look on his face and lunges for the fan, but North Fairview holds him back.] OWEN -- Blade's going to be ejected from the premises before his match even begins, if he doesn't watch himself. Bob Sanford won't tolerate anyone who goes after a fan. EUGENE -- How the hell am I Blade's mother? If I was, wouldn't Blade know my name is Eugene and not Eugemire? Whoever heard of a mother named Eugene? LARRY -- Don't try and make sense out of it ... Eugemire. EUGENE -- Plus, I'm a man! I always was a man, I'll always BE a man! I'm not somebody's mother! LARRY -- Calm down ... mom. [Fairview pulls the huffing Blade toward the ring, and finally persuades him it's wisest to get in the ring and not mess with the "filth" gathered around the ring, "filth" being Fairview's term for the fans. Fairview and Blade flex and pose in the ring, drawing a chorus of boos.] JEFREY -- And their opponents ... ["Get Inside" by Stone Sour plays.] JEFREY -- Hailing from Memphis, Tennesee, standing 6 foot 3 and weighing 240 pounds, "New Legend" Kenneth Morlock! And his partner ... from Rochester, New York, standing 6 foot 3 and weighing 241 pounds ... Jake Arcola! [Arcola and Morlock enter to some major crowd applause. Arcola, shaved bald with some stubble, is wearing knee-length trunks with stripes down the side. Morlock, the more veteran of the two, has a very nice upper body, semi chiseled. He has short brown hair, neatly combed. He has hazel eyes. They roll into the ring, and as they do, Fairview and Blade roll out.] EUGENE -- Fairview and Blade, wanting no part of Jake Arcola and Kenneth Morlock! [But Arcola, rather than staying in the ring, follows Fairview and Blade out -- and he lays into Blade with a haymaker! And another!] EUGENE -- Arcola -- he doesn't like that shirt! He doesn't like it at all! You do NOT make fun of Jake Arcola's brother! [Arcola RIPS Blade's shirt at the neck, tearing it off his body and then stuffing it in Blade's face!] LARRY -- I just thought of something. If Justin Arcola winds up being the I-Slash president, what chances do Blade and Fairview have of ever being called up? They've got to kiss more ass! Even if that particular ass is gayer than a debutante! [Fairview comes over to Blade's assistance and holds him from behind. Fairview pulls the torn shirt out of his mouth, wads it up around his fist, and pounds Jake Arcola in the face, repeatedly, to a big round of boos.] EUGENE -- Kenneth Morlock has had enough of this. [Morlock slides out of the ring, kicking Fairview. Both Fairview and Arcola fall over, and Fairview's grip on Arcola is released. Blade turns his fists on Morlock, while Arcola rises and rolls Fairview into the ring.] [DING DING DING!] EUGENE -- Here we go! Jake Arcola and North Fairview! And Jake's out to prove that, contrary to Fairview's T-shirt, he is NOT Fairview's bitch -- or anyone else's! And neither is his brother, Justin! [The two men battle with their fists, with Arcola getting the best of it. An Irish whip sends Fairview ropeward, and Arcola executes a picture perfect running dropkick ... but Fairview hung onto the ropes and it's all air. Arcola falls down, and Fairview decides to kick him while he's down. Repeatedly.] EUGENE -- Bob Sanford, coming in to warn Fairview. [Not missing a beat, Fairview simply pulls Arcola to his feet and executes a Russian leg sweep. He stands Arcola back up and hits a snap suplex, sending Arcola into the corner where Blade awaits. Blade holds Arcola in the corner. Fairview runs at Morlock in the opposite corner, cheapshots him, and then runs back and dropkicks the seated Arcola right in the face. A furious Morlock tries to enter, but Sanford cuts him off.] EUGENE -- Morlock is livid! OWEN -- That's exactly what Blade and Fairview want. They want to punish Arcola, keep Morlock angry, and play Sanford like a Stradivarius. And that's exactly what they're doing on all counts. [Behind Sanford's back, Fairview and Blade switch places without making a tag. They could tag, they just don't, and it's to piss the fans off. The fans respond with a chorus of derision.] EUGENE -- Look at that. They're so arrogant. LARRY -- They're rich. They deserve to be arrogant. EUGENE -- NO ONE deserves to be arrogant -- and particularly not these two cowards. I don't care how much money their daddies have. LARRY -- You don't care? Now, who's being arrogant? [Blade stands Arcola up and then hooks up a fisherman's DDT. He holds the prone Arcola in place with his hands and drives his knee into Arcola's ribs three times. He glares at the fans, then delivers a fourth driving knee.] LARRY -- Now, who's the bitch, Jake? [Arcola clutches his ribs, as Blade stands and poses over him. Blade steps forward, boasts with both thumbs to himself, and then attempts a backflip splash. Arcola just barely rolls out of the way.] EUGENE -- Arcola now crawling for the tag ... [But Blade gets up, grabs Arcola by the boot, and drags him back to the rulebreakers' corner. North Fairview tags in. Fairview and Blade each grab a leg and do the double-team "make a wish" move. Arcola recoils in pain.] OWEN -- This is textbook tag team wrestling. Divide the ring in half and make sure the opponent stays in YOUR half. And double-team as often as possible. This is how you turn an even match into a mismatch. EUGENE -- Darren Blade and North Fairview seem to be a well-oiled -- and well-HEELED -- machine. I have to give them that. [Blade exits, but just as soon as that, North tags him back in. They raise the groggy Arcola to his feet, throw him to the ropes, and catch him on the rebound for a double flapjack. Morlock wants in ... Sanford cuts him off.] EUGENE -- Darren Blade going up top! [Fairview holds Arcola to the mat as Sanford ushers Morlock out. Blade stands on the top rope -- and delivers a crushing kneedrop to Arcola's shoulder.] EUGENE -- That hurt both men. But Arcola is in a bad, bad way here. He's been in the entire match with nary a break. LARRY -- I don't know. I think Blade just BROKE his shoulder! He should break Jake's wrist also, and then Jake would be just as limp-wristed as his brother Justin! EUGENE -- Folks, I apologize for Larry's insensitivity here. I know we have gay people in our audience and they don't need to be insulted like that. LARRY -- Sure they do. Everyone needs to be insulted like that. I'm the heel color announcer. Remember? [While the folks at home wince over Larry's inappropriate idea of humor, Arcola has been wincing from Blade's kneedrop. Blade hasn't been doing much better, as the move has taken a lot out of him. Blade drags himself by the arms back toward North Fairview, who reaches out to make the tag. Arcola starts to roll toward his own corner. But Fairview tags in and drags Arcola back into enemy territory.] EUGENE -- Now Fairview gets to work on Jake Arcola, who is simply in a bad, bad, bad way. What's happening to him, shouldn't happen to a dog. LARRY -- I'm sure Blade's dog eats caviar. Fairview's, too. [Fairview hits Arcola with a completely unnecessary eye gouge, then a Japanese arm drag. He puts his legs over the seated Arcola for a stump-puller, further breaking the youngster down.] EUGENE -- I almost hate to watch this. But this will be good for Arcola. It will help him build up a tolerance to pain, like his brother. That will be good for him in the long term. LARRY -- What are you rationalizing things for, Eugene? Blade and Fairview are kicking the kid's ass! There's NO WAY that's good for him! NONE! [Fairview releases the stump-puller, after his attempts to convince Sanford that Arcola submitted failed. It's plain to everyone Arcola did not submit, even given the pain he's in. Fairview stands Arcola up and takes him down just as quickly with a head and arms suplex. He holds Arcola's hand and reaches for the tag with Blade. Blade tags in, and Fairview takes Arcola down with a uranage. He points up, for Blade to go to the top.] EUGENE -- Fairview wants Blade to go up top! But Blade doesn't want to! He did it before! [Blade points to his own knee.] OWEN -- Blade wants Fairview to do it! [So, Blade and Fairview trade places, and Fairview goes up top for a moonsault while Blade holds Arcola down. Arcola gouges Blade in the eye and rolls out of the way, and Fairview comes crashing down on his partner.] LARRY -- Oh no! He cheated! Arcola cheated! EUGENE -- Like those two rich boys never did? [Arcola orients himself, running on fumes. He locates Morlock, then makes a lunge for him. But Morlock's still some distance away. Arcola edges toward Morlock on hands and knees, then stands and rolls toward him, making the tag to a huge cheer from the Rose Garden fans!] EUGENE -- Kenneth Morlock makes his first appearance in this match, and it's a big one! He stands up Fairview and Blade -- split dropkick! He nails them both in one shot! [Morlock punches Fairview, then Blade, then Fairview, then Blade, then Fairview, then Blade, then a pause, and then he hits both men -- one with each fist. They both fall flat on their backs, hitting the mat at the exact same time.] OWEN -- Blade's the legal man. Fairview doesn't even belong in there right now. [And Sanford ushers Fairview out, as if he heard that. Morlock whips Blade to the ropes and levels him on the rebound with a running lariat. Blade rises ... and Morlock lariats him again.] EUGENE -- Kenneth Morlock, showing why they call him the "New Legend"! [Morlock gets to Blade as he's trying to get up, and places Blade's head between his knees. He reaches over for the waist ... ] EUGENE -- Piledriver coming! [Morlock raises Blade into a perfectly vertical position -- then drops him directly on his head with the piledriver. He makes a cover.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! NO! Fairview broke it up! [Sanford ushers Fairview back out of the ring, as Blade gouges Morlock in the eye and DDT's him. He covers.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! NO! Fairview broke it up again! But this time, he broke up the pin his own partner was trying to make! What in the hell? OWEN -- Simple. Fairview wants to be the one to make that cover. Whoever makes the pin, goes on to tonight's Northwest Championship match! [Blade glares at Fairview, who is back on the outside now. Fairview simply shrugs. Blade picks up Morlock and punches him, but Morlock blocks it. Blade blocks the return punch. Morlock punches back, and this one hits. He applies a headlock and spins around to a waistlock from behind. Morlock then elevates Blade with a waistlock suplex. Cover.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! No! Just two! [Fairview broke it up again.] EUGENE -- Both Fairview and Blade now stomping away on Morlock, and Bob Sanford ushers Fairview out of there. Here comes Arcola ... but Bob Sanford now ushers HIM back out of the ring. And here's Fairview ... [BOOOOOOOO! As Fairview and Blade give Morlock a double Russian leg sweep.] EUGENE -- Bob Sanford did not see that. LARRY -- Yeah, because Arcola was arguing with him. EUGENE -- Arcola, obviously frustrated. His inexperience is showing there. [Fairview and Blade now begin to argue with each other, obviously over who should make the pin attempt. They each argue furiously while alternately pointing at the fallen Morlock.] EUGENE -- I don't believe this! Blade's getting out his wallet! He's trying to buy off North Fairview! OWEN -- Blade peels off five C-Notes and offers them. But North Fairview gets out his own wallet! He's peeling off ten! LARRY -- Blade can beat that! Fifteen hundred dollars! That's 15 C-Notes! He peels them off! That's petty cash to a man like Blade! EUGENE -- Who carries their wallet into the ring, anyway? OWEN -- All these guys are fighting over is a SHOT at the Northwest title -- and not a good one at that! Neither Blade nor Fairview would be going into that match later tonight well rested! Crane, Sampson and Allen are! Any of these four men, in fact -- Blade, Fairview, Morlock or Arcola -- would be the decided underdog! EUGENE -- That's for sure. [Huge crowd pop!] EUGENE -- MORLOCK ROLLS UP FAIRVIEW FROM BEHIND! ONE! TWO! THREE! [DING! DING! DING!] [HUGE CROWD POP!] OWEN -- Wait a minute. Something's wrong here. [Indeed, as Bob Sanford is waving off the timekeeper. He asks for the microphone.] SANFORD -- Kenneth Morlock did just pin North Fairview for the one, two, three, but Fairview was not the legal man! Therefore, this match must continue! EUGENE -- It's Blade and Morlock! They're the two legal men! Morlock with a collar and elbow tie-up, then around back for a hammerlock! [But Blade catches him with an elbow. He snap mares the dazed Morlock over, then hits a running neck snap. As Morlock sits there dazed, Blade and Fairview do the paper, scissors, rock. Fairview wins, so Blade tags out and Fairview goes to make the cover.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! No! Morlock kicks out of that! [Fairview stands Morlock up. He then moves around behind him and hits a hurricanrana from behind!] EUGENE -- Poor man's burden! Poor man's burden! The cover! [Blade runs into the ring toward Fairview, who's pinning Morlock.] EUGENE -- ONE! [Blade jumps over Fairview and Morlock] EUGENE -- TWO! [Blade crashes into Arcola, who's entering the ring to break up the pin.] EUGENE -- THREE! [DING DING DING!] JEFREY MCDONALD -- Ladies and gentlemen ... your winners, as the result of a pinfall ... Darren Blade and North Fairview! [The crowd boos.] JEFREY -- And due to this match's special stipulations ... advancing to tonight's PCW Northwest Heavyweight Title tag team championship match ... North Fairview! [The boos get even louder.] OWEN -- This is a major win for Blade and particularly Fairview. But Fairview can't rest -- he has to prepare for that tag team match for the singles gold later on tonight! EUGENE -- Sure thing. But up next of course, and without further ado, we have a match that could steal the show right out from under that main event for the Northwest title. This is, of course, for the WORLD title ... and it's Paul Kiljoy with a second attempt to take the title away from Nate McMannis. OWEN -- Indeed. This one has match of the year potential. And I see they're ready to get it started. =========================================================================== I-Slash World Championship: Nate McMannis (c) vs. "Legacy" Paul Kiljoy =========================================================================== JEFREY -- The following contest is the first of two main events! It is a STAIRWAY TO HELL match for the IWF/WOW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!! [MAINER POP!!!] JEFREY -- Introducing the challenger ... # # # WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! # # # ["Gave Up" by NIN & Marilyn Manson begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd rises in unison to their feet, stifled cries of both joy and anger fill the building] # Perfect little dream, the kind that hurts the most # # Forgot how it feels, well almost # # No one to blame, always the same # # Open my eyes, wake up in flames # # It took you to make me realize # # It took you to make me realize # # It took you to make me realize # # It took you to make me see the light # FRANCINE - ... from Boston, Massachusetts, standing six foot three inches and weighing two hundred, forty-four pounds ... here is ... ... "L E G A C Y" P A U L K I L J O Y ! ! ! ! ! # Covered in hope and vaseline # # Still cannot fix this broken machine # # Watching the hole it used to be mine # # Just watching it burn in my steady systematic decline # [BOOM! BOOM! S-S-S-SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!] [The bright fireworks fade to smoke. Slowly emerging from the curtains, someone who somewhat resembles the 'Legacy' Paul Kiljoy of old steps into the spotlight. His clothes look ragged, worn. He wears a ragged-looking 'Scream For Me' t-shirt. A quick zoom-in reveals a man with sleep-deprived eyes and greasy medium-length blond hair, and on his forehead, what looks to be the remains of crusty, dried blood from another day. Instead of moving toward the aisle to touch him, fans move away as Kiljoy stalks down the aisle] # Of the trust I will betray # # Give it to me I throw it away # # After everything I've done # # I hate myself for what I've become # [Kiljoy enters the ring and faces the referee, his expression a mix between carelessness and hate. He stares hard, as if in a dream that he cannot escape from. His head quickly turns to examine the audience, while a mix of praise and disdain follows his gaze. He awaits the sound of the bell like a caged dog waiting to strike] # I tried # # I gave up # # Throw it away # JEFREY -- And now, introducing the _champion_ ... ["Killing Time" by (hed)PE plays.] JEFREY -- He hails from Santa Fe, New Mexico ... standing six feet and one inches tall and weighing 219 pounds ... here is the __IWF/WOW WORLD CHAMPION__ ... "S U I C I D A L" N A T E M c M A N N I S ! ! ! ! ! [McMannis walks the aisle very seriously. The IWF/WOW World Championship strapped around his waist.] OWEN -- The fumes of tragedy are pungent tonight. I have a feeling we're going to find out that these two men were just scratching the surface of their mutual hatred at November Pain. EUGENE -- I just hope the Rose Garden can accomodate this. LARRY -- I wouldn't worry about that. They reinforced this whole building when they found out Gunnar was coming. EUGENE -- So we've taken the proper precautions. OWEN -- Kiljoy says he sold his soul to the devil for this one. He says he was ready to sacrifice McMannis last time, and this time he's ready to make the sacrifice _himself_! EUGENE -- You've also heard from Nate McMannis. OWEN -- Who says Kiljoy robbed him of his desire for the IWF/WOW World Championship. The emblem of excellence and supremacy in all of wrestling. He says Kiljoy robbed him of the very _reason_ he trained night and day and bled himself to the bone to become a professional wrestler. We'll see if his apparent disillusionment with the title he fought so hard and long to obtain is an obstacle tonight. EUGENE -- I guess after the scars Kiljoy left on his family, McMannis realizes what's important in life now. LARRY -- But he's forgotten what's imortant in this _business_. _Gold_. You _don't_ get your family involved if you can't defend them, or they can't defend themselves. Look at _my_ family. Every single Gaines that's been involved in the business knows the mechanics. We were bred for this, and you certainly don't get _kids_ involved. OWEN -- That's irrelavent, Larry. Kiljoy went out on his own and got McMannis's family involved. Nate never, _not once_, tried to bring his family into the game. [The camera wraps itself around the fifteen foot ladder errected in the aisle. The scene cuts to the spool of barbed wire dangling from a hoop twenty feet over the ring.] OWEN -- And there's the poison. Please believe the first man to lay his hands on those metal spokes will hold the key to winning this match. [McMannis steps onto the middle rope and adjusts his laces.] EUGENE -- McMannis has never won a Stairway, regardless of it being his match of choice, correct? OWEN -- Unfortunately. On two separate occassions he lost to both Shane St. Clair and Trevor Storm. EUGENE -- I guess he figures the third time's a charm. LARRY -- If it's charm he's waiting for, I don't think Pierce Brosnan was invited. EUGENE -- And who's fault is THAT? LARRY -- Barbara Mandrell is a PEFECTLY ACCEPTABLE GUEST! I'm not getting into this again! [DING! DING!] OWEN -- McMannis/Kiljoy! Phase two! [Both combatents saunter toward one another. McMannis talks trash as Kiljoy's upper lip twitches.] [POP! POP!] OWEN -- McMANNIS SACKS KILJOY! [The champion smothers Kiljoy with punishing forearms to the side of the head. He pulls him up and irish whips him.] EUGENE -- Kiljoy for the ride. HURRICANRANA! [McMannis remains on Kiljoy's chest and fires a sequence of closed right hands right between his eyes. He stands up casually and shakes the side effects of his white knuckled rage out of his fingers. Kiljoy rolls over slowly, leaving himself wide open to a kick in the ribs.] EUGENE -- La Majistral cradle! 1 OWEN -- Kiljoy kicks out! It's just too premature. [Nate pops him a couple of times in the head before hurling him into the turnbuckle. Kiljoy connects hard enough to send him stumbling back into Nate's arms.] EUGENE -- Back drop driver! LARRY -- Kiljoy takes another one of those and he's gonna have to get his next haircut at the proctologist. [McMannis follows up with a snap legdrop off the ropes, and then a quick elbow drop to the heart.] OWEN -- Nate's heading to the turnbuckles. He might already be ready to butter his bread! EUGENE -- This looks rushed. Let's see if he can gain the kind of altitude he's known for. LARRY -- He may not get any hangtime at all! Here comes Kiljoy! "Uuuuuuuuuuhhh!!" OWEN -- Oh no! LARRY -- Seven-ten split! Pick THAT ONE up, Eugene! [Kiljoy lunged into the ropes. Want me to draw you a picture or something?] OWEN -- McMannis is RACKED on the turnbukle rod! LARRY -- Better than being rodded by the rack. EUGENE -- What the ... LARRY -- They aint all golden. [Kiljoy plants his feet on the second ropes and reaches behind McMannis for a waistlock.] "BAM!" OWEN -- Gutwrench superplex! Did you hear that canvas crack under the impact? LARRY -- It aint no Serta. OWEN -- Kiljoy with his knee across Nate's throat! Rubbing it back and forth across that trademark dagger tattoo, and consequently his Adams' apple! EUGENE -- A blatant stranglehold that referee Bob Sanford has no authority to prevent in a match of this nature. Ol' Bob's just hangin' around for the three count this time. LARRY -- And the eleven year olds in the parking lot. EUGENE -- That's NOT true! OWEN -- Ahem. [Kiljoy steers McMannis into the ropes.] OWEN -- Drop toe-hold! Into a half-crab. Completed with an STF! EUGENE -- Odd to see Kiljoy employing a submission hold here. LARRY -- Well if McMannis is incapacitated in any way, he can't climb that ladder, and Kiljoy can pluck that wire right off the hoop with no adversity. OWEN -- Larry's got an argument. EUGENE -- That's why these guys are wrestlers and we're not, I suppose. [Kiljoy applies the pressure, wrenching Nate's head to the side and as far over his shoulder as possible.] LARRY -- Might also have something to do with that soggy chest of yours, gramma. EUGENE -- Pardon?? LARRY -- Whenever I see you shirtless all I can think of is a bottle of Log Cabin and butter. That's all I'm saying. OWEN -- Kiljoy abandons the hold and pulls Nate to his feet with another blatant chokehold. Into a sleeper ... and a reverse naked drop! The challenger's heading up north! [He perches on the top turnbuckle.] <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> OWEN -- MANIACAL MOONSAULT! "BAM!" OWEN -- _MISSES_, BUT KILJOY LANDS ON HIS HOOVES! [He stays crouched with the tips of his fingers against the mat as McMannis turns around.] OWEN -- Upward thrust to the throat! [McMannis wraps his hands around his own neck and coughs dryly.] OWEN -- AND A SMALL PACKAGE! 1 2 THR-- OWEN -- _NO_! EUGENE -- We were just inches from a new world champion, and the barbed wire hasn't even alluded to by either man! LARRY -- That's all about to change. Kiljoy's lookin' up, and he's got that flame in his eye. [But first, Paul nails a recovering McMannis with a jumping cradle piledriver.] "BAM!" EUGENE -- Kiljoy trying to make sure McMannis doesn't interfere as he goes after that ladder. OWEN -- Fifteen feet of towering, merciless steel, and Kiljoy's about to kneel at the altar of it! [The challenger takes a confident stroll up the aisle and closes the structure. He carries it to the ring across his chest. As he sits it on the apron, McMannis kips up.] [POP!] EUGENE -- THE CHAMPION'S PLAYING POSSUM! [McMannis baseball slides beneath the bottom rope. Kiljoy, however, is present enough to duck the impact of McMannis's force against the ladder.] "SCRRRRRAPPPPE!!" [The ladder crashes into the aisle. Kiljoy stands and grabs Nate's ankles.] "THUD!!" "Uuuuuuuuhhh!!" OWEN -- Good God! He yanked McMannis right off the apron and dropped him like an ugly chick's phone number! LARRY -- He looks just like that! All wadded up on the floor. Oh, by the way, Eugene, call your mom. "CLANG!" "Uuuuuuhhh!!" OWEN -- Snap suplex on the ladder! [McMannis bellows and immediately slaps the back of his palm across his tailbone.] EUGENE -- Kiljoy's on a roll here. He's got to be feeling confident. LARRY -- McMannis missed his big chance to turn this one around. But he went for the obvious, and it cost him. Apparently he's lost his edge. Maybe that world title really doesn't mean that much to him. "CLANG!" OWEN -- Kiljoy with a scoop slam! AGAIN on the ladder! [And now he dives back into the ring. He races across, into the ropes, and back.] LARRY -- MAKE OR BREAK TIME! <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> OWEN -- SPRINGBOARD DESTINY!! "CLANG!!" "SCRRRRRAPPPE!!" [POP!!] OWEN -- _BREAKS_ KILJOY!! THE HIGH ALTITUDE LEGDROP _MISSED_ AS McMANNIS ROLLED AWAY!! And now McMannis has the ladder! Opportunity knocked twice, and this time it was holding roses! [Nate powers the ladder over his head, turn his back to the ailing Kiljoy, and simply releases it behind him.] "CLANG!!" EUGENE -- Lord ALMIGHTY! That's at least fifty pounds of high grade steel inflicting itself on Kiljoy from head to toe! OWEN -- And Nate's taking it back! He's dragging it toward the ring, and you gotta believe he's going for the barbed wire! LARRY -- Guys, check out Kiljoy! [He's grasped the bottom rung, and not realizing it, Nate is dragging him toward the ring along with the ladder. The champion reaches back with both hands, but cranes his neck toward the ring.] OWEN -- He must be attributing the weight of the ladder to fatigue! [Kiljoy releases his grip as McMannis hoists the ladder onto the apron and shoves it into the the ring. Nate takes a breather, resting on the apron with his head in his arms, as Kiljoy crawls on his elbows toward a corner of the ring.] LARRY -- He's got no time to sit there and pant! He's got to suck it up and do the deed! EUGENE -- He just rolled into the ring, and he's prying the legs of that ladder apart. [He puts it up dead center in the ring, steadies it on both sides, and takes a look at the barbed wire hanging above.] LARRY -- Hop to it, moron! OWEN -- He may be trying to figure out how he's going to unravel it without lacerating himself in the process. LARRY -- Well wouldn't a closer look help? Am I the only one earning my salary here? EUGENE -- He takes the first step! And there's the second! OWEN -- These matches take so much out of you, and so damn fast. [With every step McMannis takes up the ladder, Kiljoy takes a step up the turnbuckles behind him. And all it takes is three, but Kiljoy is patient.] EUGENE -- And now I don't think there's any hope of McMannis getting to that barbed wire. Kiljoy's got him tracked. LARRY -- Look at the boy. Watching the champion like a hawk. Just waiting to swoop in and scoop him right up like prey. [Nate reaches a level where he thinks he may be able to pull it right down. He reaches up and wiggles his fingers. Just then, Kiljoy soars.] OWEN -- MISSLE DROPKICK TO THE BACK! "BAM!" [Kiljoy plummets to the canvas hard. McMannis, however, is clinging to a toppling ladder. The crowd moans, knowing how this is gonna end.] EUGENE -- MY GOD!! MY GOD!! MY GOD!! <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> "GASP!!" "CLANG!!!" "UUUUUUUUUUHHHHH!!!" [The ladder hits the ring post behind the turnbuckles, sending itself and McMannis ... ] OWEN -- OVER THE TOP!! OVER THE TOP!! [ ... and cracking his sternum off the top of the barricade.] "OH-MY-GOD!!! OH-MY-GOD!!!" "OH-MY-GOD!!! OH-MY-GOD!!!" "OH-MY-GOD!!! OH-MY-GOD!!!" OWEN -- THAT'S A TWENTY FOOT DROP, AND McMANNIS IS FEELING EVERY INCH OF IT!! EUGENE -- That is one of THE damndest things I've ever seen! LARRY -- Aint nothin' short of a medical team gonna pick him up from that! Ring the dinner bell, boys! McMannis is cooked! [Kiljoy gathers himself and reaches over the top rope, grabbing the bottom rung of the upside down ladder which is leaning against the ring, and dragging it back over.] EUGENE -- Kiljoy senses it! He's setting up the ladder with no McMannis to be accounted for! Nothing in this world to stop him! [He scrambles up the rungs, reaching the top significantly less time than McMannis and reaches up, easily within the taking. Kiljoy glides his fingers across the tortorous device with a glint of evil in his eye.] EUGENE -- Son of a ... the man's admiring the barbed wire! Kiljoy's damn near infatuated! OWEN -- Eugene, this may sound strange, but this may be the most beautiful thing Kiljoy's ever laid eyes on. We're imagining the harm he could inflict with that, and by God, so is HE! EUGENE -- That's ... that's ... OWEN -- A glimpse of the I-Slash! [Paul clinches the strand carelessly. We zoom in from the side as his eyes constrict, then seal completely. He squeezes tighter. Now we see the blood. Leaking through his fingers. Slithering down his wrist.] EUGENE -- That's inhumane! LARRY -- How can you hurt a guy who seems to cherish the pain!? [POP!!!] OWEN -- THERE'S McMANNIS!! LARRY -- What the hell? Where? HOW? OWEN -- The camera was on Kiljoy! LARRY -- They train us to pay attention to these damn moniters and not the live action, and see what happens? EUGENE -- He's at the base of the ladder, and Kiljoy is none-the-wiser! [In fact, he's now rubbing his cheek up against the wire. However, he senses a sudden movement in the stability of the ladder. He peels his eyes and looks down on McMannis. This, for some reason, elicites a smile.] OWEN -- Kiljoy's happy to see him! My God, he wants Nate to bring it! He's waving the champion on! He's waiting for McMannis to come to him before he tears that barbed wire down! EUGENE -- How did he go from streaking and the "ass of tricks" to THIS? To full blown psychopath!? OWEN -- There's a fine line, Eugene. [McMannis reaches the top, only to be slugged in the jaw.] "GASP!" EUGENE -- GOD NO! OWEN -- McMANNIS ALMOST TOOK ANOTHER FALL! He CANNOT take another one! The human body just isn't designed to absorb it! [POP!!] EUGENE -- McMannis returns the fire! He balled up that fist and used it for all it's worth, you better believe! "Boooooo!!" OWEN -- Kiljoy answers back! [POP!!] OWEN -- McMannis with the receipt! [POP!!] OWEN -- AND HE BLOCKS ONE! [The crowd counts along as Nate hits a streak of right hands.] "One!!" "Two!!" "Three!!" "Four!!" "Five!!" "Six!!" "Seven!!" "Eight!!" "Nine!!" [And as the crowd shouts "Ten!!" ... ] "CLANG!!" [POP!!] OWEN -- HE SLAMMED PAUL'S HEAD OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER!! [McMannis reaches up and grabs the barbed wire. He loosens it with a stern tug and raises Kiljoy's head with a clump of hair.] EUGENE -- McMannis is gonna rip him right open! [He spreads Kiljoy's head and the barbed wire apart as if about to give a double noggin knocker to tag team partners, then brings them together to a ... ] [_HEEEEEYUGE POP_!!!] OWEN -- AND NATE JUST BROUGHT THE TWO LOVEBIRDS TOGETHER!! HE'S GRINDING, TEARING, _SHREDDING_ KILJOY'S FOREHEAD!! AND YES, THE BLOODGATES HAVE OPENED!! [Kiljoy tries prying Nate's hand off his face with both hands around his wrist. Blood streams down his face, into his mouth, and between his teeth.] OWEN -- LISTEN TO HIM SCREAM! THOSE GROWLS ARE FILLED WITH AGONY!! "CLANG!!" OWEN -- And AGAIN he slams Kiljoy's head into the ladder! [Now McMannis, with a short window of time, ties a knot around the hoop. He unravels the wrest of the four foot strand and wraps it around Kiljoy's neck.] EUGENE -- Don't tell me he's gonna ... oh God, he WOULDN'T! OWEN -- He would, and you better believe he WILL! [Nate looks the crowd for a brief moment, and then shoves Kiljoy backward.] "GASP!!!" [POP!! POP!! POP!!] <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> OWEN -- OH MY GOD HE'S HANGING!!!! KILJOY'S HANGING AND SWINGING!!! [The crowd is on FIRE. Shocked and perversely attracted to the horrific scene. Blood licks several different paths from beneath Kiljoy's chin and down his chest. He swings back and forth, each time his feet coming so close to landing on the rung. McMannis takes swings at him each time he comes close, connecting with many.] LARRY -- This is just gratuitous violence at this point! Someone ring the bell before this place becomes a crime scene! [Finally, Kiljoy threads one leg through the rungs and around the side of the ladder. He hooks his ankle with the other leg, grabs the top and endures the fists of McMannis.] OWEN -- Kiljoy's stablized himself, but McMannis is still-- [With one quick maneuver, Kiljoy silences Ambrose. He yanks back on the ladder with his legs, transferring the force to the lower part of the structure.] "BA-BAM!!" EUGENE -- McMANNIS FELL!! AGAIN!! [For a brief moment, Kiljoy dangles over the ring, with his legs tied around a ladder with one side facing down. But then ... ] "SNAP!!" "GASP!!" LARRY -- LOOGOUT BELOW! <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> "CLANG!!!" "BA-BAM!!!" "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHH!!!" "HO-LY-SHIT!!! HO-LY-SHIT!!!" "HO-LY-SHIT!!! HO-LY-SHIT!!!" "HO-LY-SHIT!!! HO-LY-SHIT!!!" OWEN -- THESE FANS ARE SAYING IT ALL!! EUGENE -- IT ALL CAME DOWN!! EVERYTHING!! RIGHT ON TOP OF McMANNIS!! [McMannis lays trapped beneath the ladder. Kiljoy, legs still tangled in the steel, lays awkwardly adjacent to his opponent. The wire is still wrapped around his neck and tied to the hoop, which snapped clean off.] OWEN -- This is unreal! Simply UNREAL! EUGENE -- Kiljoy's soaked in his own blood! OWEN -- Both of these men will need medical attention! Neither one will be the same again! They'll feel like they've been through armageddon in the morning, and the next few mornings! Their bodies will never respond the same way again! But one of them, after tonight, will say it was ALL worth it! [Kiljoy loosens the barbed wire from around his throat and pulls it over his head, carelessly scraping it over his facial tissue. He then pulls his rubbery legs out of the ladder and rolls over to his stomach.] LARRY -- Look at the blood. Leaking from his body like a spigot! But he's STILL moving! He's STILL hungry for it! That's dedication. There's a man who hasn't lost his desire for the limelight! There's a man who CRAVES IT! OWEN -- Kiljoy pulls the ladder off McMannis! And COVERS HIM! NEW CHAMPION RIGHT HERE! 1 2 THR-- OWEN -- _NNNO_!! McMANNIS KICKS OUT!! HE'S GOT FIRE LEFT TO BURN!! Maybe that desire is still there! Maybe this fight has refueled his passion for the gold! EUGENE -- You can tell Kiljoy's faced this man before. You can tell because he DOESN'T look shocked that McMannis kicked out! LARRY -- But he damn sure looks annoyed! OWEN -- That's for sure. He's got frustration smeared all over his face! LARRY -- Looks like blood to me. OWEN -- That too. [Kiljoy massages his throat as he staggers to one knee. He doesn't even stand before pulling McMannis by his long bangs. Upon standing, Kiljoy immediately thrusts Nate's head between his thighs for a standing headscissors.] EUGENE -- Powerbomb! He's gonna powerbomb him on the ladder! LARRY -- IF he can get him up! [He flips McMannis onto his shoulders, but in one fluid motion ... ] "CLANG!!" [POP!!!] OWEN -- DDT TO THE LADDER!! McMANNIS WITH THE COUNTER!! EUGENE -- And the COVER! 1 2 THR-- "AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!" EUGENE -- KICKOUT!! OWEN -- McMannis reaches for the barbed wire! LARRY -- What's he doing? Wrapping it around his ankle? OWEN -- That's exactly what he's doing! He's coiling it around his ankle and all the way up his shin. [He slowly picks up Kiljoy and shoots him into the ropes. Kiljoy comes back and pays for it.] OWEN -- Spinning heel kick! Flush in the mouth with the barbed wire! LARRY -- There's an easier way to apply braces. EUGENE -- McMannis unfurls the wire. [He raises Kiljoy's torso off the mat and sticks a knee between his shoulderblades. With Kiljoy propped, McMannis stretches a portion of the wire across his forehead and saws away as the crowd groans.] EUGENE -- We're way past ugly, folks! This one's getting downright gruesome! McMannis is rubbing Kiljoy's forehead raw! He's going for meat! [He pulls the barbed wire out of Paul's forehead. Yes, he _pulls it out_, and then slides it under his chin. Kiljoy puts up his hands to block an impending strangulation. He raises it up, but McMannis jerks back hard, stretching the wire across Kiljoy's open mouth.] OWEN -- Oh my God! Oh my God have mercy! He's lacerating the corners of Kiljoy's mouth! EUGENE -- This is stomach turning! OWEN -- But it HAS TO BE! McMannis must do what he has to to defend this title that is now apparent he cares much more about than we thought! "GASP!" OWEN -- HE DROPS AN ELBOW! [Right on top of Kiljoy's noggin, causing him to bite down on the wire. Nate takes the moment to wrap both ends of the wire across Kiljoy's face. He picks him up in a headlock and jogs toward the ladder.] OWEN -- Here comes a BULLDOG! "Wwwwwwwwhhhhhhoa!!" "CLANG!!" EUGENE -- NO SIR! OWEN -- KILJOY HIT A TORNADO BACKDROP!! [Once again, Kiljoy plucks the barbed wire from his face. He pulls McMannis's hands behind his back and hog ties them.] OWEN -- He's immobilizing the champion! He's making it so he can't fight back! [He pulls him up with a handful of hair, scoops him up, and crotches him on the top turnbuckle.] EUGENE -- He's setting him up for something, and whatever it is, this could do it! [McMannis's lifeless head slumped against his shoulder lends validity to Eugene's assumption. Kiljoy climbs to the second turnbuckle leisurely and facelocks him while cradling a leg.] OWEN -- I know what this is! KILJOY'S GONNA FINISH HIM WITH THE-- <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> "BAM!!" [MARQUEE MOVE POP!!!] OWEN -- _BIRTHRIGHT_!!! WE GOT A NEW CHAMPION IN ... 1 2 [POP!!!!] OWEN -- SHOULDER UP!! SHOULDER UP!! EUGENE -- I DO believe in miracles! OWEN -- That these two men are still BREATHING is a blessing! [Kiljoy spreads McMannis across the center of the ring, then jogs to the corner.] OWEN -- Kiljoy's gonna sink the final nail! He's perched on the top turnbuckle! He missed it earlier tonight! NOW can he hit it!? NOW can Kiljoy hit the ... <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> "BAM!" [FINISHER POP!!!] OWEN -- _LEGACY 2002_!!! [McMannis NEARLY moved, rolling onto his face.] LARRY -- He connected on the back of McMannis's skull! OWEN -- Kiljoy with the cover! COULDWEHAVEANEWCHAMPION!? 1 2 [POP!!!] EUGENE -- _NO_! We do NOT! OWEN -- McMannis miraculously, and I mean ASTONISHINGLY, kicks OUT of the Destiny 2002! With his hands tied behind his back with BARBED WIRE! The title means more to that man than he EVER let on! [After recovering from the initial shock of the kickout, Kiljoy drags McMannis into the corner. The challenger backpeddles into the opposite corner, lays his head back, and growls.] "_COCK_ ... _GOBBLES_!!!" [TRADEMARK POP!!] OWEN -- Don't tell me he's gonna ... we haven't seen this in ages! I thought he'd given up on it! KILJOY'S ON THE LOOSE!! [A third of the way across the ring, he takes a risk ... ] "CLING!" [POP!!!] [ ... that doesn't pay off.] EUGENE -- HE MISSED! McMANNIS AVOIDED THE COCKGOBBLES! OWEN -- I can't believe it! Kiljoy's NEVER missed that move! [Kiljoy remains straddled on the bottom turnbuckle. Nate grits his teeth while tucking his knees into his chest and pulling his shackled wrists around.] LARRY -- Looks like he's about to set himself free. OWEN -- Look at those wrists! Scraped! Shredded! I hope to got he hasn't sliced a vein! [He manages to slide one hand out and release himself. Immediately he slides out of the ring and approaches the ring post where Kiljoy's legs are sticking through.] EUGENE -- You've got to be kidding me! McMannis is stringing Kiljoy around the post by the ankles! OWEN -- McMannis and barbed wire is a heinous combination! He once MUMMIFIED Robert d'Artois in route to retaining the IWF/WOW Intercontinental Title! And that was the OLD McMannis! The one Nate claims Kiljoy dug up at November Pain! [Kiljoy's ankles are tightly bound around the post. He's trying to free himself, but can't seem to reach. McMannis reaches in through the middle and bottom ropes, clutching Kiljoy by the hair.] "Uuuuuuuhhhh!!!" OWEN -- HE YANKS KILJOY THROUGH THE ROPES!! HE'S UPSIDE DOWN!! "LEGACY" PAUL KILJOY IS HANGING UPSIDE DOWN BY THE POST AND A FIVE FOOT STRAND OF BARBED WIRE WRAPPED AROUND HIS ANKLES!! OH MY GOD!! EUGENE -- McMANNIS HAS A CHAIR! "BANG!!" [POP!!] EUGENE -- He DROPKICKS IT right into Kiljoy's face! This is a brutal bloodbath! Now he's stomping him! Kicking a puddle right into Kiljoy's forehead! OWEN -- AND THE WIRE SNAPS! Kiljoy hits the floor! McMannis pulls his lifeless body to his feet! He grabs the barbed wire off the apron! [Nate places Paul against the post, steps around the other side, and wraps the barbed wire around his face. The crowd recoils in horror as the blood continues to drip.] OWEN -- He's juicing him like a lemon! There's that post jamming into the back of his head! The barbed wire digging into his facial tissue! And McMannis is just WRENCHING on it! LARRY -- There aint much that makes the old Chainsaw uneasy, except for Cheryl's lemonade, but this here ... this is just ... EUGENE -- We know what you mean, partner. OWEN -- Finally Nate rolls his victim back into the ring. He pursues him. Picks him up. [KICK!] [WHAM!] OWEN -- __HEAD TRAUMA__!! __HEAD TRAUMA__!! JUST LIKE THAT! IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE, THIS ONE'S OVER!! [Crowd counts along.] "One!!" "Two!!" "Three!!" "AAAAAAAAAAWWWWW!!" OWEN -- THAT'S ONLY TWO! KILJOY KICKED RIGHT OUT WITH JUST MILLISECONDS TO SPARE! EUGENE -- These two are amazing me, and disgusting me, with each passing moment! OWEN -- McMannis is wondering what he has to do! Both of them must be DYING to finish this match, but not at the cost of defeat! Their hatred for one another, and their massive egos, just won't consider it! LARRY -- The champ's going for a tombstone! OWEN -- No! Kiljoy shifts the weight and turns it over! He's got McMannis over his shoulder ... McMannis slides down his back! Backdrop coming up! KILJOY FLIPS OVER! LANDS ON HIS FEET! [McMannis turns to see what happened.] [MARQUEE MOVE POP!!!!] OWEN -- __URAKEN__!! __URAKEN__!! [Paul falls right on top of McMannis after a spinning backfist.] 1 2 [POP!!!] EUGENE -- __NO__!! Unreal! Simply unreal! [Kiljoy pounds his fist against Nate's chest in protest of the count. Suddenly, the crowd cohesively turn their heads toward the aisle.] LARRY -- Something's brewin' outside the ring, guys. EUGENE -- Who the hell? OWEN -- Oh my God ... Samantha Bevins! Matthew Reason's fiancee` is on her way to the ring, for reasons I cannot begin to fathom! LARRY -- His fiancee`, and subsequent widow after Gunnar's through with him! OWEN -- She's entering the ring! Stop that woman, Sanford! She'll get hurt! [Samantha grabs a confused Kiljoy by the arm and jerks him up. After a tense staredown, she cups both sides of his bloody face and plants her lips on his.] [POP!!!] EUGENE -- I'm gonna be sick. OWEN -- I don't understand! She's mugging down with Kiljoy right there in the center of the ring! The very same spot she'll be marrying Matthew Reason in on the next Graphic Nature! [Kiljoy, stunned at first, has embraced this moment. He grabs Samantha's hips and guides them to his.] OWEN -- What is the MEANING of this!? And is Matthew Reason watching!? [__MASSIVE__ HEEL POP!!] EUGENE -- There's your answer! [Reason's sprinting down the aisle. He climbs through the ropes and immediately jerks Samantha to the canvas by her hair.] OWEN -- No! Don't hurt her! That's not necessary! LARRY -- Look at the crazy bitch! She's lickin' her chops! She can't pry her eyes off of Kiljoy! EUGENE -- They're staring each other down! Reason and Kiljoy are nose to nose, and it's all because of Samantha Bevins! [She rises off the mat and steps between them, pushing Reason back toward the ropes while staring over her shoulder at Kiljoy.] OWEN -- McMANNIS WITH A SCHOOLBOY!! 1 2 "BOOOOOOOOO!!!" OWEN -- Samantha broke it up!! She just attacked McMannis! Samantha Bevins is attacking the world champion! [She reaches over and grabs the barbed wire. Immediately she digs at Nate's face. He reaches over his shoulder, grabs her by the hair, and flips her onto her back. This doesn't sit well with Reason.] EUGENE -- Reason's got McMannis, who just assaulted his fiancee`! OWEN -- And Sanford's helpless! He can't disqualify Kiljoy! [He grips McMannis around the throat and hoists him into the air.] [POP!!] OWEN -- McMannis kicks him in the chest! Reason dropped him! [KICK!] [WHAM!] OWEN -- __HEAD TRAUMA__!! McMANNIS DROPPED REASON WITH THE INVERTED JAWBREAKER!! "CLANG!!" EUGENE -- Kiljoy hit him from behind with the ladder! OWEN -- He's wrapping the barbed wire around his head like a crown! [Kiljoy facelocks the momentarily paralyzed McMannis, then with the cradle of the leg ... ] "CLANG!!" OWEN -- BIRTHRIGHT TO THE LADDER!! [He drags McMannis across the mat and makes the cover.] 1 2 3!!! [POP!!!!!] OWEN -- NO!! NO!! NO!! JUST TWO!! [Samantha splits her attention to Reason, recovering on the outside, and Kiljoy inside the ring.] EUGENE -- What's it gonna take?? What does Kiljoy have to do? CAN he beat Nate McMannis? [Kiljoy climbs to the top rope. And this time it's all or nothing.] <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> OWEN -- __DESTINY__!! __2002__!! RIGHT ON THAT CROWN OF BARBED WIRE, AND HE GOT ALL OF IT!! [Kiljoy makes a lazy, exhausted cover.] 1 2 3!!! [__HEEEEEEYUGE HEEL POP__!!!!!] OWEN -- Not even close! This is one is OVER! [DING! DING! DING!] OWEN -- Yes, we have a NEW world champion! JEFREY -- Here is your winner ... ["Gave Up" by NIN and Marilyn Manson plays.] ... and NEW __IWF/WOW WORLD CHAMPION__ ... "L E G A C Y" P A U L K I L J O Y ! ! ! ! ! OWEN -- Unbelievable! Simply unreal! Kiljoy's done it! EUGENE -- Two new IWF/WOW champions crowned right here here at Ring in the New! This is a historic night! The reign of Paul Kiljoy begins right here! LARRY -- OWEN -- Well said, Larry. [Kiljoy takes his newly acquired title and drags it up the aisle, glancing briefly toward Samantha Bevins along the way.] OWEN -- I want to know what's up with THAT! EUGENE -- You can bet McMannis will be burning with the very same question! OWEN -- THAT match is going to be extremely tough to follow with this next one. EUGENE -- That is true. Up next is our final match of the night, our main event, and it is for the PCW Northwest Heavyweight Title. Steve Sampson and Cordell will team up against the makeshift duo of Chad Allen and North Fairview. Texas Jack didn't make it tonight, and North Fairview earned the right to replace him when he pinned Kenneth Morlock in a tag team match also involving Jake Arcola and Darren Blade earlier in the evening. OWEN -- I really wonder what happened to Jack Danson? Doesn't seem like him to be late for a fight. I'd more expect him to be early -- days early. He'll fight anyone, anywhere, at any time. This is NOT like him. LARRY -- Look, Owen and Eugene. Texas Jack is from Texas. The air pollution there is so bad, thank you President Bush, that the airline pilots can't even see. If they're wearing eyeglasses, they can't even see the lenses. It's that bad. It's a wonder all the planes don't crash into oil rigs or the Astrodome or something. Texas Jack probably could get here quicker on horseback. Maybe that's what he tried. Maybe he got lost. Maybe the horse died. Who knows? EUGENE -- I'm sure the explanation might not be that innocent. LARRY -- Who are you, Britney Spears? EUGENE [rolling eyes] -- Oh brother. Let's just go to Jefrey for the introductions. =========================================================================== PCW Northwest Heavyweight Championship tag team match: Cordell Crane and Steve Samspon vs. "Jester" Chad Allen and North Fairview =========================================================================== [DING DING DING!] JEFREY MCDONALD -- The following is a special tag team match, and it is for the Pacific Coast Wrestling Northwest Heavyweight Championship! [Fans cheer heartily!] JEFREY -- The members of the winning tag team will IMMEDIATELY face each other in a singles contest, to one fall, and the winner will be the NEW Northwest Heavyweight Champion! [Fans cheer even louder!] JEFREY -- Introducing the first team ... ["A New Level" by Pantera plays.] JEFREY -- First, from Queens, New York City, he stands 5 foot 10 and weighs 265 pounds ... "Jester" Chad Allen! [Allen enters the aisle. Built like a tank, his arms still have the myriad of tattoos ranging from circuses and clowns to skulls and motorcycles. His chest and arms also show signs of scarring from past battles. He's wearing a black, boxing-style robe with purple trim and a hood, and on the hood there is airbrushed clown face paint like he used to wear.] OWEN -- Chad Allen, the picture of determination as he comes down to the ring. Allen really feels he has something to prove since he was sent down from I-Slash, and he's been doing it so far. He really made an awesome showing at the PCW Battle Royal, demonstrating his power and pure wrestling ability. [Allen enters the ring, and takes off the robe to reveal a black singlet with his face airbrushed on it, half with clown paint and half normal, and the words, "NEW LOOK ~ SAME PAIN."] EUGENE -- "New look, same pain" indeed. [Allen climbs a corner and starts barking at the fans that he's going to be the PCW champion whether they like it or not. His Pantera music dies down as he jumps off the turnbuckle and starts stretching in mid-ring.] JEFREY -- And now, Chad Allen's tag team partner ... ["Cure" by Metallica plays.] JEFREY -- He hails from Sacramento, California, standing 6 foot 5 and weighing 250 pounds ... North Fairview! [Fairview comes out in his slicked back black hair, shirtless this time with long black tights. He looks more than a little weary from his previous match, yet the adrenaline propels him forward.] OWEN -- North Fairview would really like to stick it to the Portland fans, and there would be no better way than to win the Northwest title tonight, in this arena. [Fairview climbs into the ring, and then so does Bob Sanford. He starts to check Allen over for foreign objects, and then does the same for Fairview.] JEFREY -- Their opponents ... first ... ["Bad Company" by Bad Company plays.] [Fans pop huge. The enormity of the moment hits Jefrey McDonald and he has to fight back a tear, thinking of his late uncle, Owen McDonald, who founded PCW. Here comes the man who wants to win this one for Owen.] JEFREY -- HE HAILS FROM YAKIMA, WASHINGTON! [Fans cheer even louder.] JEFREY -- Standing 6 foot 3 and weighing 232 pounds, he is a former member of the Northwest Mafia ... STEVE SAMPSON! [Sampson enters the arena. He's a man of medium build, with close cropped blond hair, blue eyes, and basic red tights and boots. He steps into the ring, climbs the nearest corner, makes a fist to his heart, pats it twice, and then points to the sky!] EUGENE -- If Sampson wins it tonight, this one is going to be for Owen McDonald, who I'm sure is watching over the proceedings here with a smile! Pacific Coast Wrestling is back, and Steve Sampson has come home! [The fans continue to yell their lungs out for Sampson, who is unquestionably a Portland favorite. He offers handshakes to both Fairview and Allen -- accepted daintily by Fairview, but waved off by Allen. Sanford begins to check Sampson over for foreign objects, as Bad Company dies down.] JEFREY -- And Steve Sampson's partner, the winner of the PCW Battle Royal ... ## ... TURN OFF THAT DEVIL MUSIC!! ["God Damn Devil" by Ugly Kid Joe plays. The cheers turn to boos.] JEFREY -- He hails from Amarillo, Texas, standing 6 foot 2 and weighing 241 pounds, and ALSO a former member of the Northwest Mafia ... here is CORDELL CRANE! [Crane enters the aisle wearing a white singlet with gold trim, and over that, wears a Northwest Mafia T-shirt. The modestly built Crane has strawberry blond spiky hair and Elvis-like sideburns. He rolls into the ring, stands, and takes off the Northwest Mafia shirt.] EUGENE -- That shirt! He's offering it to Sampson! OWEN -- I think Cordell Crane wants to get the Northwest Mafia going again! He's making an offer of membership to Steve Sampson! First he made him his partner in this match, and now this! But for Sampson to accept, it would require a major change in attitude! He'd have to turn his back on the fans! EUGENE -- The Steve Sampson I know is not going to do that. LARRY -- What, are you kidding, Euge? The Sampson I know would sell out his grandma for a nickel. EUGENE -- That's not true. [Crane stands there, as Sanford checks him over for foreign objects, still offering the shirt to Sampson. Sampson puts Crane off, telling him to keep it, it's his shirt. "God Damn Devil" dies down. Jefrey McDonald gives referee Bob Sanford the microphone, as the four men stand facing him in the middle of the ring.] BOB SANFORD -- I am expecting a good, clean fight tonight for this belt ... [McDonald hands the belt to him. It's got black leather and is made of gold. It states "Pacific Coast Wrestling" on top, "Northwest Heavyweight Champion" on the bottom, and has two men fighting in the middle among other decorations.] SANFORD -- The NORTHWEST HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! [Sanford holds it to the sky to a huge pop!] SANFORD [turning to Allen] -- Who will start for your team? [He points the mic to Allen.] ALLEN [pointing to himself] -- Right here. SANFORD [turning to Crane] -- And who will start for your team? CRANE -- [pointing to Sampson] He will. SANFORD -- Very good. When the bell rings ... this fight begins. [Crane and Fairview go to their corners, while Sampson and Allen stay in the middle of the ring. Sanford turns over the microphone to the timekeeper, and then the timekeeper rings the bell.] [DING DING DING!] EUGENE -- This is an exciting and unusual matchup. You have to work with your partner and then, if you win, you have to work against him. [Sampson and Allen circle.] OWEN -- And these are tenuous partnerships. The Allen-Fairview union is definitely makeshift -- neither man chose it. And as for Crane and Sampson? They've worked together before, but can they do it now? [Sampson shoots in and gains a headlock. Allen tries to lift Sampson, but lacks the leverage. Sampson uses the reversed momentum off Allen's failed attempt for a takedown. Allen pops back up, and they circle again.] EUGENE -- This is a technician on technician matchup -- a great chance to see some scientific wrestling. [Allen and Sampson lock up. Allen gains a waistlock and then goes behind. He tries to bust Sampson down, but nothing doing. He instead pushes Sampson toward the ropes, and that forces a break. Sampson comes out of it clean -- Allen doesn't, hitting a chop to the throat. As Sampson staggers, Allen comes in for a belly-to-belly suplex. Both men are up, and Allen attempts a clothesline.] EUGENE -- Ducked! [Both men hit the opposite ropes, rebounding toward each other. Double clothesline -- both men connect, both men fall.] EUGENE -- Allen and Sampson both tag out, and now we're going to see Crane and Fairview. [Crane comes in like a bullet, lowering his shoulder into Fairview for a spear. Fairview, caught off guard, is flattened to the ground.] OWEN -- I think the fact that Fairview isn't fresh is going to give Crane and Sampson a huge advantage. Chad Allen didn't get to pick his partner tonight ... he didn't even get the partner that was originally chosen FOR him. EUGENE -- You see, but Allen didn't earn that right. Cordell Crane did, in the battle royal. OWEN -- You do have a point. [Crane pounds away at Fairview, who flails away. But since Crane caught Fairview in his own corner, Allen is right there -- and Allen reaches his hand out and manages a tag.] EUGENE -- Allen's in the ring again. And it's a good thing. Fairview looks terrible. [Crane is pulled off Fairview by Sanford, as Fairview rolls under the ropes and off the apron, and crashes to the outside. Allen pounds Crane with some not-so-disguised closed fists in the corner. Sanford forces a break.] OWEN -- I think Allen realizes he's going to have to carry the load in this match, if his team is going to win. But it's going to all be worth it if he has to face Fairview in the final. If he can get that far ... he has a good chance of winning. And I think he knows that. EUGENE -- But don't sell Fairview short. He has more than a little intelligence he can put to work to pull off an upset. [Crane and Allen circle in the middle.] EUGENE -- Here we are with the final two from the battle royal of two weeks ago. Crane got the best of that matchup, but this time might be different. [Allen lunges at Crane, who backs up and rolls out of the ring. Allen gives chase. Crane goes to roll back into the ring, but Allen catches him by the ankle and pulls him to the outside. Allen starts pounding away.] EUGENE -- Right! Left! Right! ... Reverse knife edge chop! CROWD -- WHOOOOOOOOOO! [Bob Sanford counts ... four ... five ... six ... ] EUGENE -- Allen with an uppercut! [ ... seven ... eight ... ] EUGENE -- And Allen rolls in and out to break the count. [Allen grabs Allen -- one hand on the back of his singlet, one on the shoulder strap -- and runs him into the ring steps. The steps instantly disassemble into their top and bottom halves, as Crane is crumpled against them. Allen pulls Crane out of the wreckage, then hooks up a vertical suplex. He hits it.] EUGENE -- OUCH! That ringside area is padded, but still -- that hurts. LARRY -- In my day, there was no padding. It was solid concrete. EUGENE -- Well, you've got plenty of padding now. [Larry gets a hurt look on his face.] EUGENE -- Allen rolls Crane into the ring. [Allen hooks up a waistlock, then goes behind. He reaches down for Crane's legs, flipping them up so that he has Crane in a wheelbarrow position. And then -- ] EUGENE -- Wheelbarrow suplex! He hits it! What an impact! [Having rolled out earlier, Fairview has just regained his spot on the apron. Sampson still stands in his corner, ready for a tag, watching intently. Allen goes to drag Crane to his feet -- but Crane rolls him up!] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! THR-- No! Allen kicks out! [Both men rise to their feet. They face each other, and as Allen shoots in, Crane ducks around him and lunges at Sampson for the tag. Sampson comes in. Allen backs up, takes a look at Fairview, then turns to face Sampson again.] EUGENE -- Allen could use a tag, but he's decided to stay in. OWEN -- Wise choice. [Sampson and Allen lock up. Sampson grabs Allen's wrist and wrings it around. He does so again. Then Allen reverses and does the same to Sampson. Sampson turns and gives Allen an Irish whip. On the rebound ...] EUGENE -- Back body drop! Allen's up ... clothesline by Sampson! Allen back up ... hiptoss! [Sampson motions at the fallen Allen to get up and come after him, but Allen rolls over to Fairview and makes the tag. In comes Fairview, and he's immediately backed to the ropes by Sampson. Sampson whips him across the ring to the opposite ropes, and as Fairview bounces off, Sampson shoots himself off the other side. They come together in the middle, and Sampson hits a picture perfect flying dropkick to the top of Fairview's chest! HUGE CROWD POP!] EUGENE -- I believe he can fly! What elevation! Steve Sampson still has that crowd-pleasing ability! [But as Sampson goes to pick Fairview up, Fairview punches him in the balls. As Fairview was no doubt aware, Sampson was in perfect position to shield Sanford from view. Sampson doubles over. Sanford asks Fairview if he just punched Sampson in the balls. Fairview shakes his head vigorously, "no."] EUGENE -- A shot to the groin! And everyone in this arena saw it! Everyone but Bob Sanford! Who's North Fairview kidding? LARRY -- What's Sanford going to do -- throw the match out? There's nothing wrong with the good ol' Italian uppercut! It's like hitting Jordan in the brain anyway -- you can't hurt Sampson downstairs because there's nothing to hurt! EUGENE -- On the contrary. Sampson has a great deal of ... er ... fortitude! And I'm sure Sanford knows exactly what Fairview did. He just didn't see it. [North Fairview picks up Sampson, now in control. He hits a crisp snap suplex.] OWEN -- You know, tonight I've been impressed by the execution of Fairview's moves. He really is quite a ring technician. [Fairview now hits a snap mare, then dropkicks Sampson in the back as he's seated on the mat. But Fairview comes up a bit sore from the dropkick, as the impact seems to bother his hip. But he gets up gamely and decides to go for a sleeper.] EUGENE -- Million dollar dream! Fairview has it cinched in real good on Steve Sampson! And Sampson's fading fast, right in the middle of the ring! [Crane and Allen watch intently on the outside. Crane makes like he's coming in, then Sanford cuts him off. Crane points like Allen's trying to come in. Sanford turns his attention to Allen. Allen's not coming in. Crane's two steps in behind Sanford now, though. Sanford turns around -- Crane goes back. Sanford turns his attention to Sampson, and goes to check the arm. He raises it -- it drops!] EUGENE -- ONE! [And again. Same result.] EUGENE -- TWO! [And a third time. The arm drops, but then Sampson raises it up at the last second.] EUGENE -- THR- NO! Sampson's still alive and kicking! [Sampson rises up and breaks the hold with an elbow to Fairview's ribs. He lunges over to Crane to make the tag. Fairview goes to make his own tag, but Sampson rushes over to Fairview and drags him back to the middle. Sampson and Crane hook up a double-team DDT on Fairview. They hit it!] EUGENE -- Fairview -- DOWN to the mat! That must have decreased his height by two inches! [Sampson exits. Crane drags Fairview right on over to Sampson for another tag. Crane then lifts Fairview onto a neutral corner, while Sampson climbs to the top turnbuckle. Simultaneously -- ] EUGENE -- Crane with the superplex! And Sampson with the diving headbutt! The power and the glory of the Northwest Mafia is back in full force! LARRY -- No pun intended, of course. [Allen's seen enough. He comes in, but Sanford cuts him off. Sampson tags Crane in again. Sampson lifts Fairview in a bear hug, and Crane bounces off the ropes and levels him with a running clothesline. Sampson rolls through for a pinning predicament on Fairview.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! No! [Fairview has managed to kick out, at the same time as Sanford points out Sampson's not the legal man anyway. Fairview gets up, and Crane's on him as Sampson exits the ring. Crane hooks up Fairview for a suplex, but instead hits a brainbuster! Cover ...] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! NO! Just two! Almost three! [Crane gets up much faster than Fairview manages to do. But as he does ... ] EUGENE -- Look at the aisle! I don't believe it! [Everyone is on their feet watching Texas Jack stomp his way angrily down the aisle! HUGE OVATION!] EUGENE -- TEXAS JACK IS HERE! [Crane and Fairview just watch as Jack grabs the ringside mic and gets in the ring. Sampson and Allen watch as well. Jack speaks.] TEXAS JACK -- Boys, I only want to know one simple thing -- which one of you did it? Which one of you didn't want me here tonight!? Crane? [Crane shakes his head no.] Allen? [Allen shakes his head.] Fairview? [Fairview shakes his head.] Well, Sampson, I'll assume YOU didn't do it. You're a good man. Well, either one of you is lying, or it must have been someone else. Darren Blade, Ken Morlock and Kenneth Morlock had something to gain from this, even if they didn't know it. Or did they? I'll be watchin' all of you. [And with that, Texas Jack drops the microphone. He storms out of the arena, with all four competitiors in the ring still stunned.] LARRY -- You mean to say ... someone DID something so Texas Jack wouldn't make it here on time tonight? They messed with his plane, or his car, or his horse? EUGENE -- I think it's obvious. I mean, would YOU want to face Texas Jack? LARRY -- I ... EUGENE -- Of course not! And neither would anyone in their right mind! Win or lose, fighting him has got to be an ordeal! [Crane takes advantage of the distraction to hit Fairview with a surprise rollup.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! And a kickout! [Crane takes Fairview on over to Sampson, and tags him. He signals him with two thumbs down.] EUGENE -- Sampson with a double underhook -- PILEDRIVER! DOUBLE ARM PILEDRIVER! [Sampson covers, as Crane runs in to cut off Allen.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! THREE! [DING DING DING!] EUGENE -- Sampson and Crane have won, but now they must face each other! [Allen jumps off the apron backwards, pounding it with both hands as he lands. As Sampson rolls off of Fairview, Crane's standing over him, holding the Northwest Mafia T-shirt. He unfolds it and presents it to Sampson.] CRANE -- [audible without a mic] Go on! Put it on! You earned it! You're part of the team now! [Sampson lies there, not moving to take the shirt. Crane barks at Sampson some more.] EUGENE -- This is outrageous! Crane expects Sampson to throw this match! That's the price of being in the Northwest Mafia, he says! OWEN -- Yeah, but will Sampson pay it? LARRY -- It's a cheap price to pay! This is the Northwest Mafia we're talking about! They're second only to the Logging Company in the storied history of Portland wrestling! EUGENE -- They're first, and Sampson helped BUILD that empire! It's his as much as it is Crane's! Owen McDonald's got to be steaming mad up in heaven! This is an insult! [Crane puts a boot on Sampson's chest. Bob Sanford counts.] EUGENE -- ONE! TWO! AND SAMPSON LIFTS A SHOULDER! [HUGE CROWD POP!] EUGENE -- Sampson refuses to be pinned! He wants to win this one for Owen McDonald, and he's not going to give that up! [Sampson rises to his knees, and Crane offers him the shirt once more.] EUGENE -- Get it through your head, Cordell Crane! Sampson's not going to just give you this match! The Northwest Heavyweight Title is worth much more than that! It's not a Christmas ornament! To Steve Sampson, it's blood, sweat and soul! [Sampson goes to stand -- and Crane kicks him in the head. Now he throws the shirt onto the fallen Sampson, ordering him to put it on. Sampson refuses.] EUGENE -- Sampson's angered now! And I don't blame him! [Sampson rises. He grabs Crane by the neck! HUGE CROWD POP! He lifts him for a chokeslam -- and drives Crane to the mat! He raises a finger toward heaven!] EUGENE -- THAT one, was for Owen! LARRY -- That's ridiculous. Cordell Crane never hurt Owen McDonald. In fact, he made Owen McDonald a lot of money. EUGENE -- He's insulted Owen's legacy here tonight! [Crane gets up, grabbing the shirt and tucking it under one of his shoulder straps. Sampson is there to take hold of him by the hair. Sampson runs Crane to the ropes and then over the top! Sampson backs to the opposite ropes, runs across the ring, leaps over the top, and does a flying plancha onto Crane, taking him down to the floor! He straddles Crane and pounds away at him with both fists! HUGE CROWD POP!] EUGENE -- Look at the emotion! Sampson is determined! LARRY -- Well, he can't win it outside on the mat. He probably can't win it in the ring, either. EUGENE -- That remains to be seen. [Sampson rolls Crane into the ring, then climbs to the top rope! HUGE CROWD POP!] EUGENE -- Steve Sampson, going up top! This is a huge risk! OWEN -- But if he hits the right move here, it might pay off. This could all be over. He's going for it. He's feeding off the emotions of these Portland fans! [Sampson leaps, going for an elbow drop. But Crane rolls out of the way, and out of the ring.] EUGENE -- MISSED! [Crane climbs back into the ring, then ascends the corner on his own.] EUGENE -- Crane's on top, waiting ... [Sampson slowly gets to his feet.] EUGENE -- DOUBLE AXE HANDLE! And Sampson is down! [Crane gets out the shirt again. He stands over the fallen Sampson, throwing the shirt at him.] CRANE [audible without a mic] -- PUT IT ON! EUGENE -- You heard that! Crane still wants Sampson in the Mafia -- [But Sampson tosses the shirt aside.] EUGENE -- ... and Sampson's having no part of it! [Crane picks up Sampson. He hooks him up for a cradle suplex, but delivers it like a piledriver. Crane springs to his feet arrogantly. He picks the shirt up off the mat, and throws it at Sampson.] CRANE [audible without a mic] -- PUT IT ON! [Sampson, groggy, swats the shirt aside and starts to get up. Sampson pauses, unfolds the shirt, and looks at it. Crane stands there, arms folded, nodding.] EUGENE -- He throws it back in Crane's face! Good for him! [Crane swats the shirt off his own face, and it lands in Bob Sanford's face. Crane takes advantage by kicking Sampson in the groin, and Sampson doubles over in pain.] EUGENE -- That's not fair! That's a terrible thing to do to a man! [Sanford tosses the shirt in the corner. Crane picks up Sampson again, and bodyslams him down. He runs to the ropes ...] LARRY -- Sampson shoulda just joined the Mafia. I think Cordell's being quite generous, giving Sampson all these repeat offers to join! These are peace offerings that Sampson doesn't deserve! [... elbow drop. Crane's up, and runs to the opposite ropes ...] EUGENE -- Generous? Peace offerings? Crane expects Sampson to give up his shot at the Northwest Heavyweight Title -- the biggest prize in our company! That title MEANS something to Steve Sampson! It means a lot more than some stupid T-shirt! And when Sampson refuses, Crane kicks him in the balls! That's not generous -- that's despicable! Show some honor, Crane, for ONCE in your cheating, conniving career! Just a shred! [ ... and another elbow drop. Crane to the ropes again ...] LARRY -- Crane has honor -- just not your wimpy, simpering kind of honor. EUGENE -- Maybe in the sense of honor among thieves, but that's about it. [ ... and a third elbow drop. Crane grabs the shirt from the corner. He throws it onto the downed Sampson again.] CRANE [audible without mic] -- PUT IT ON, SAMPSON! NOW! EUGENE -- Sampson still doesn't want that shirt! In fact, he's angry! [Sampson gets up. Crane just grabs him by the hair and throws him out over the top.] EUGENE -- Sampson's been thrown out of the ring, and he's hurt in a serious way! Now, Crane is saying there's something wrong with one of the turnbuckles ... and he's pointing it out to Bob Sanford. [Everyone in the arena stands to watch the entrance aisle, where a masked man is making a beeline down to the ring. The man grabs a folding chair, and hammers Sampson in the head with it!] EUGENE -- Who in the hell is that? Someone get him out of here! He doesn't belong here! [The masked man decks Sampson again, then quickly jumps the ringside barrier and exits into the crowd. Crane exits the ring and goes out to collect Sampson. He rolls Sampson, who is bloodied, into the ring.] EUGENE -- No. Not like this. [Crane hooks up a front facelock.] LARRY -- You know what's coming. EUGENE -- Yeah -- and it sickens me. [Crane ducks under Sampson's nearest shoulder, cradles victim's leg and reaches through the knees grabbing his wrist. Lift, spin, spike.] LARRY -- The Guilty Pleasure! YEAH! EUGENE -- The count is elementary. One ... two ... and three. [DING DING DING!] [Jefrey McDonald enters the ring.] JEFREY MCDONALD -- Your winner ... and NEW Pacific Coast Wrestling Northwest Heavyweight Champion ... CORDELL CRANE! ["God Damn Devil" plays over the P/A, as Crane accepts the gold from Bob Sanford. Sanford quickly leaves the ring, as Crane holds the belt aloft.] EUGENE -- Well, I guess we have to accept it. Crane is our new champion here in PCW, and -- WAIT A MINUTE! [The masked man comes back in through the crowd, pushing his way past an exiting Bob Sanford and climbing into the ring.] EUGENE -- No! [The masked man and Crane lift Sampson to his feet, then hit him with a double suplex. Then the masked man picks up the belt, puts it down in the center of the ring, and points to it. Crane hooks up the guilty pleasure and hits it right on the belt.] EUGENE -- Who is this? Is this the making of a NEW Northwest Mafia -- one without Steve Sampson? LARRY -- If it is, just remember. Crane made Sampson an offer that he couldn't refuse! And Sampson, dumbass that he is, refused it! EUGENE -- Sampson wasn't dumb tonight! He fought with honor -- he was just overcome by deception, double teaming and chicanery! LARRY -- He was simply outsmarted. EUGENE -- I'm sure we'll learn more about this at the next LIVE! AT THE GRAPPLEARIUM on Dec. 7 -- or maybe even the next PCW Outlook on Nov. 30. Until then, this has been quite the evening! Two new I-Slash champions crowned ... and ONE new PCW champion has been crowned as well! We really have "Rung in the New" and we expect to be here for a long time, part of a new era here in Pacific Coast Wrestling! LARRY -- I'm excited about it, that's for sure. EUGENE -- For Larry Gaines, Owen Ambrose, the officials from I-Slash wrestling, and of course all the PCW wrestlers, I am Eugene Curtis and this is ... Pacific Coast Wrestling. Good night! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Pacific Coast Wrestling (c) 2002 Rose City Rassling Productions Portions: I-Slash Wrestling (c) 2002 Ozark Productions Credits: PCW President: Curt Kipp I/W President: Brian Nelson All PCW Matches: Curt Kipp I/W: Tag Team Championship: Wade Thompson I/W: EWA Championship: Brian Nelson I/W: World Championship: Brian Nelson