the HOA as they stand outside the ring. The crowd goes nuts!] ===== ID4 2000 ===== President Chad Ishikawa: Due to the events that occurred after the Main Event of Mayhem, Razor Ron Jeremy and Hades will be a team be a team be a team be a team be a team Razor Ron Jeremy and Hades will be a team in the Tag Team Title Tournament. ===== ID4 2000 ===== RRJ: You see, Tony...While Hades has been busy retiring Steve West and calling himself the "Career Killer," I've taken the time to construct this Awesome NO HOA club... I know The Prophet is pissed as all hell about being the single Inner Circle member left, and Cooper Concrete - Have you heard the threats he's made towards Hades? Get a hold of these guys, Tony. Be a proud member and tell them about the NO HOA club... Tell the Prophet, tell Cooper Concrete...They'll take out Bishop and Marconi...I'll successfully pound the crap outta the "Career Killer" Hades in the most Awesome way I pound crap...We're gonna avenge those rat bastards for what they did to James Monosso...WE'RE GONNA TAKE A STAND, you understand me? I don't care where you're from: Inner Circle, The New Millennium, Boston Bad Boys, Ralph Nader's Green Party, or Contestants Row on The Price is Right - if you hate the HOA, then you'll LOVE what the Double-R Jay is gonna do to make the I/W a better place... Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble HADES: ...YOU, and more importantly, MY World title, are still my #1 priority in this league. And I haven't, nor will I ever, forget about you....until that title is back around my waist where it rightfully belongs! You got a break at the End of the World, Ron...I can guaruntee you that you will NOT get off that easy this time around. I'll be seeing you real soon, sooner than you think. Jim Robson: This is what we've been waiting for, folks...The Main Event - Cooper Concrete vs. Razor Ron Jeremy!!! Jack Anderson: And look who's in the front row! The 'MeatMachine' Mike Marconi! Just like he said he would be! ...Look! Cooper is standing on the apron right in front of Mike Marconi and he's asking for a microphone. Cooper Concrete: Marconi, I don't know about Razor Ron up here, but me, I don't trust you. (RRJ agrees.) Mike, before I get started here, I want you to meet somebody...Mike meet CONSUELO. (The attention turns to the rampway, as the Mystery Woman, who is escorted by many police officers makes her way to ringside. Consuelo stands right next to Cooper and the police surround them and Mike Marconi.) Mike, this is my housekeeper, Consuelo. She came to the arena tonight to share something with our police friends. Officer #1: Is this the gentleman who was in Cooper's front yard, ma'am? (A look of concern falls across the face of Mike Marconi.) Consuelo: Yes, it is. (The police officers grab Mike Marconi, and he is in a fit of rage. The police officers start to read him his rights. They handcuff Marconi and drag him to the rampway.The crowd is cheering loudly!) Officer #2: Mike Marconi, you are under arrest for trespassing, unlawful solicitation, disturbing the peace, and disorderly conduct. (The officers stop halfway up the ramp, as Cooper gets the microphone once again.) Cooper Concrete: You see Mike, having you at ringside, really wasn't what I had planned for this evening. So since it looks like you've got a hothead, perhaps a little time in the cooler, will do you some good! ...For now, fellas, Take that piece of trash away! Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble Jim Robson: ...A show of sportsmanship by these two men here, with the handshake before the bell. And this match is now going to get underway! Wow.....what a story we just saw here. Mike Marconi has just been arrested, thanks to Cooper Concrete. Jack Anderson: Unlawful solicitation?? What was he soliciting? And since when is standing in the street trespassing? You can't treat Mike Marconi like that! Someone get on the phone to Johnny Cochran! Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble HADES: You see, Coop. I knew you'd be petty enough to follow up on the threat you made to have Mike Marconi arrested, so I took some steps to make sure that that could not happen. I want you to meet a few old drinking buddies of mine from back home, who also happen to be a few of Pittsburgh's finest. This is Jon, Dave, Chris, and Harry. I figured you'd be stupid enough to run up to the first cops you saw backstage, so I called the boys here to come on up to Toronto here tonight, and have a little fun with your dumb ass. And you fell for it hook, line, and sinker of course. I mean, c'mon! Do you actually think the Boston Police Department, where you live, would bother chasing someone for a public disturbance violation across the national border into Canada?? Please! Jack Anderson: Ha! Hades is a genius! They're old drinking buddies, Jim! Jim Robson: Yes, Jack, I heard. Officer #1: So, are we going to get a drink or two after this, Hades? HADES: No, Jon...I don't drink anymore, and besides, I have some other business to take care of now... Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble Jim Robson: Mike Marconi just came out of the crowd from behind Cooper Concrete and he yanks Concrete's leg and pulls him to the outside of the ring, breaking up the pin!! Hades and Bishop slide in the ring and Hades immediately begins going to work on RRJ as Mike Marconi lays the boots to Cooper Concrete on the outside of the ring! The referee is calling for the bell!! DING!! DING!! DING!! Francine: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled that this match is a DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION!!!! Jim Robson: WAIT!! IT'S RICHARD JAMES!! THE HEADHUNTER JUST CAME FROM UNDER THE RING!! Jim Robson: IT'S CHARLIE VAHN COMING OUT OF THE CROWD!! Jim Robson: ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RING, IT'S JOHN VAN MANN!!! Jim Robson: IT'S THE PROPHET!! [The building begins SHAKING with cheers. The crowd is going absolutely nuts!] Jack Anderson: This isn't fair! It's 6 on 3 here!! Jim Robson: It's about time something like this happened! These men are fed up with the HOA and their constant interference, and I for one, cannot blame them! Prophet and RRJ are beating on Hades, the Headhunter and JVM on Dark Bishop, Cooper and Vahn have just rolled Marconi into the ring and they're working on him now in the ring! The HOA are getting their just desserts! Jack Anderson: Somebody stop this!! This isn't fair! Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble [The camera then shows a panning shot of the 6 men in the ring, starting with John Van Mann, Cooper Concrete, Charlie Vahn, the Prophet, Richard James, and ending on the World Champ, Razor Ron Jeremy. All of them are smiling and taunting the HOA who are now in the crowd.] Jim Robson: Is this possibly the "NO HOA Club" that Ron Jeremy wanted to start? Jack Anderson: I don't think so, Jim. Are you kidding?? These men can't work together! It's just a coincidence, they all have a common enemy! That's all! President Chad Ishikawa: Due to the events that occurred after the Main Event of Mayhem, Razor Ron Jeremy and Hades will be a team in the Tag Team Title Tournament. Consuelo: Chingado! Vete al infierno! ===== ID4 2000 ===== HADES: I mean, I've never had a problem with Chad Ishikawa before really, but I don't know what in the hell he is thinking these days! I know the fed's not in its best shape that it's been in, and I'm not just talking about the small size of the roster, but of the fact that we have a retard for a world champion, and a bunch of flaming idiots holding the rest of the titles in this league. And apparently, we now also have a moron for a president! a moron for a president! a moron for a president! a moron for a president! a moron for a president! a moron for a president! I mean, everyone saw what happened 2 weeks ago on Mayhem. Razor Ron Jeremy and his little "No HOA Club" ruined what should have been a routine HOA beating. And we were all forced to be exposed to the hideous sight of a bare, pimpled ass that probably hasn't been washed or wiped in about 2 months. And now Chad expects me to team with this guy?? Razor Ron Jeremy: All that stuff last Monday doesn't matter anymore. So I showed Hades my ass, whoopee. So the 6 of us beat up the whole HOA, yee haw. What the hell is the point if PRESIDENT ISHIKAWA IS GONNA MAKE ME TEAM UP WITH HADES AS A TAG TEAM PARTNER?!?! It's way too much stress. I'm the World Champion, and I don't wanna get mixed up with my arch enemies by being on their same damn team! HADES: ...the creative genius of a booking commitee that we have here in the IWF/WOW... [Hades rolls his eyes.] HADES: ....is forcing me to team up with Razor Ron Jeremy tonight in the tag title tournament. I have to team up with this dick! Why?? [Hades pauses as if awaiting an answer.] HADES: Number one...I don't have any interest in the tag team titles. And number two...it's Razor Ron Jeremy! I'll be fighting him at the next PPV. Oh, and by the way, I WILL be fighting him at the next PPV, and not the Prophet, but I'll get to that ass in a second. Because right now, I'm talking about RRJ and how I'm going to have to carry him onto a win out there tonight. Granted, it's only Steve West and Richard Blair we're going up against, two of the biggest no talents that this federation has ever seen, but I'll have to carry RRJ nonetheless. And why? To get some ratings, I suppose... Consuelo: PORQUE RON ES DIOS, Y DIOS ES RON!!! (RRJ stands up...feeling much more proud. Consuelo's speech has obviously made an impression on him). Razor Ron Jeremy: Your right Consuelo! I can't just leave the NO HOA club behind like that. They're true fighters just like me. We're not backing down for anyone! Not for the Harbingers of Apocalypse, not President Ishikawa, NOBODY!! Woohoo! You were right all this time, Conny. HADES: ...Ronnie, my boy, I have one simple rule for you to follow....sit on the apron, on your fat ass like you're used to, and let me do all the work. I don't like you and I don't want you in this match, that's the bottom line. So, I'm going to do my best to pretend that your pimpled ass isn't even there. But if you try to get involved in this match in any way, I swear that your ass is going to be the next one that hits the canvas right after West's and Blair's... [Hades gives the camera a cold glare.] HADES: And for god's sake, do NOT bring that stupid, stupid boot to the ring! Jim Robson: HADES GAVE WEST THE BOOTIE CALL!! [Hades gives a disgusted look.] HADES: I won't have a frickin' boot sitting on the ringpost during MY match. Keep it in the back, keep it on your foot, just keep it OUT of my god damned match! Now this interview's over... Jim Robson: HADES GAVE WEST THE BOOTIE CALL!! Razor Ron Jeremy: ...We sent the whole HOA crying like babies...Hades, Meat Machine, Bishop...The crowd booed them straight to hell as the light of my moon showed them howta get there. But then Ishikawa tries to stop us by making Hades and I TEAM together...we'll guess what, President Itchy balls, you're biggest names in your company who happen to hate each others guts will be the BEST DAMN TAG TEAM you'll ever have! Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble Jim Robson: ...The "Professor" Steve West will come out of retirement to team with "The Rocket" Richard Blair against a team forced together by President Chad Ishikawa: Hades and IWF/WOW World Heavyweight Champion, Razor Ron Jeremy; probably the bitterest of enemies in the business _teaming up_ with each other here tonight! Jack Anderson: ...RRJ and Hades hate each other too damn much. The Pain Inc. guys have worked together as a team before, they have a give & take attitude toward tag team wrestling... Frankly Robson, I feel sorry that Hades has been put in this position. I just can't get that off my mind. It's bad enough that lunatic Razor Ron Jeremy interferes in the HOA's business with his cute little "NO HOA" Club, and now Hades is forced to work with him! I can see what Chad Ishikawa was trying to do here, but I don't think he considered what the effect would have on Hades. Jim Robson: Well I still happen to think that these two will somehow coincide. As the World Heavyweight Champion, I think Razor Ron Jeremy has the knowledge to leave his personal problems with Hades outside the ring tonight, and work to advance in this tag team tournament. Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble HADES: What in the hell do you think you're doing? Razor Ron Jeremy: I'm putting Bootie on my turnbuckle like I always do. What's it to you, Ugles? HADES: Take that god damn thing off of there! No f***ing boot is going to be sitting on a ring post in one of MY matches. This is MY match, keep in mind! Now give me the damn boot! RRJ: Get yer hands off Bootie! He doesn't like being touched by guys with bug ugly hairy scars on their faces who pee in the shower! HADES: What the hell are you talking about? Do you want to stop with the god damn "baby talk"?? Who talks like that? If you don't want me touching this boot, then why don't you have the balls to do something about it to stop me, you fat lard of shit! RRJ: Oh yeah, well I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I sure know how to make your Bed-rock! HADES: You stupid son of a bitch! That's a pick-up line, a bad one at that! You're an idiot! RRJ: Don't call me an idiot! (RRJ shoves Hades) HADES: Oh-ho-ho.....finally grew some balls you dumb son of a bitch? (Hades shoves RRJ back...West and Blair look at each other). JR: West and Blair have had enough of this...THE'YE JUMP HADES AND RRJ FROM BEHIND! DING DING DING!!! Jim Robson: Razor Ron Jeremy is not happy to be tagged in by Hades... Jack Anderson: RRJ just told Hades that he couldn't beat that! HADES: GET IN THERE AND FIGHT YOU SORRY SON OF A BITCH!! *POP* Jack Anderson: LOOK AT THAT!! Razor Ron Jeremy just popped Hades right across the mouth! And the ref is considering that a legal tag! *POP* *POP* *POP* *POP* Jack Anderson: And the ref is considering that a legal tag! JR: Look at Hades, Jack. He looks like he's deep in thought...JACK, LOOK! Hades is sticking out his hand for a tag! (Crowd POPS!) JR: That's the first sign of sportsmanship between these two all night! Jack Anderson: What the hell's going on here? These two aren't supposed to be working as a team. They hate each other! They absolutely DESPISE each other. Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble Jim Robson: Jack, Hades reached out and grabbed the boot...AND HE KNOCKS WEST IN THE FACE WITH IT! HADES GAVE WEST THE BOOTIE CALL!! WEST IS OUT, AND HADES DRAPES THE HAND ACROSS!! Jack Anderson: THEY WON, HOW THE HELL DID THEY DO IT!! Francine: Your winners of this Tag Team Title Tournament Match: HADES AND RAZOR RON JEREMY!!! JR: Look at this, RRJ and Hades are staring at each other in the ring! They do nothing but stare...is there a newfound respect between these two... (Suddenly the fans stand up as they see Charlie Vahn and The Prophet tossing Dark Bishop through the right half of the entranceway out to the floor. From the left John Van Mann and Cooper Concrete walk out holding on to the top of their heads as "The Meat Machine" Mike Marconi lambasts the both of them with a steel chair.) Jim Robson: Is that John Vann Mann and the Prophet? Those are guys that RRJ assembled for the NO HOA Club! They're ensued in a brawl with the HOA! The HOA has a tournament match coming up next and look what they're involved in! It's Razor Ron Jeremy's guys against Hades' guys. Jack Anedrson: And this battle on the outside looks like it's breaking up this little moment in the ring here with Hades and RRJ. AND HADES JUST WALKS AWAY!! Thata boy, Hades, good man. Jim Robson: Hades is walking right passed all the brawling going on! He doesn't help the HOA and he doesn't jump in to brawl on the NO HOA Club. You think he's confused? JA: He's not confused! He's just wrestled a match with a moron on his team. He's just won a match with a moron's tools. I'd be pretty damn embarrassed if I was Hades, too. He probably just wants to go to the back and shower down or something. He'll be back to normal just the way I remember. The HOA is just fine as it is. Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble Anthony Edwards: Razor Ron Jeremy, how did you end up all the way out here? Razor Ron Jeremy: TONY! Thank God you're here. Listen to me, and listen to me good...I am not a bad guy. I have never smoked, I only drink wine on Purim, and I haven't cursed like that since EFW. You gotta believe me. I have never given anyone the Widowmaker, I never hang out in sleazy bars; and I never, nor ever will be, a member of the Harbingers of Apocalypse Party. Understand?! I'm still gonna beat his ass just like I have always done...Hades, together we're gonna win the tag team tournament, and we're gonna be the IWF/WOW Tag Team Champions of the World, and then I'm gonna kick your ass! Make sense? Hades has nothing to lose and everything to gain by teaming with me. It would be stupid of him to ruin his only chance at getting some tag gold, because his chances at this belt are TOTALLY shot to hell. But when that match ends and Francine announces that Hades and Razor Ron Jeremy are your winners, then I'll have no problem giving Hades a big fat Bootie Call. Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble Jim Robson: Jack, if Hades and Razor Ron Jeremy defeat The Lightning Bolts tonight, then they go to the finals of the Tag Team Tournament at ID4 2000 to face either Colby and Travers or B:3, and if they win that match then they'll be the Tag Team Champions! Jack Anderson: ...Hades drops down to ringside and runs over to pick up Gaijin who's fallen on the floor! He throws Gaijin into the ring and...WHAT!! HADES IS GETTING BOOTIE!! THE CROWD GOES WILD, AND THAT BIG DUMB CHAMPION IS SMILING!! RRJ picks up Strafer now, what's gonna happen?! Jim Robson: ...HADES DOES THE BOOTIE CALL ON GAIJIN!! THE PLACE IS ERUPTING WITH CHEERS, THIS IS HOW THEY BEAT WEST AND BLAIR!! Jim Robson: ...RRJ kicks Strafer to the gut...OH MY GOD, RRJ DOES THE WIDOWMAKER ON HURRICANE STRAFER!! THE ROOF IS ON FIRE!! HADES DOES THE BOOTIE CALL ON GAIJIN!! RRJ DOES THE WIDOWMAKER ON HURRICANE STRAFER!! Jack Anderson: Woah woah woah hold on a second, Robson! Hades' eyes are wide open, and he storms over toward RRJ!! Hades is getting right in his face! RRJ doesn't know what the hell's going on?! HADES: YOU FAT ROTTEN PIECE OF SHIT, THAT'S MY F*CKING MOVE!!! Jack Anderson: ...HOLY CRAP!! RRJ SHOVED HADES, AND HADES SHOVES BACK!! NOW THEY'RE BRAWLING ON EACH OTHER!! THIS TEAM HAS DISINTEGRATED, ROBSON...JUST IN TIME FOR ID4!! ===== ID4 2000 ===== James Monosso: RON! WHERE'S YOUR FOUL DIRTY BOOT?! [A black Lincoln Continental then pulls on screen and takes a space nearby with a license plate that reads "HOA-01". The doors open and Hades, Dark Bishop, and Mike Marconi step out from within the car. James immediately stops in mid-sentence at the sight of Hades.] James Monosso: THERE YOU ARE YOU DIRTY BOOT!! [James runs over to Hades, drops to his knees, and begins grabbing and tearing at Hades's left boot, as if trying to strangle it. Hades has a look of bewilderment on his face.] HADES: What in the HELL are you doing, you crazy bastard?? And what do you mean by "dirty", I just shined these! [Hades lays several punches to Monosso's midsection. He then lays a few more to his face as Marconi and Bishop hold him up. Hades then grabs Monosso in a headlock, pulling him away from Marconi and Bishop, and walks him over to the old lady that James was talking to before. She is standing by her driver side door watching this whole scene with a look of shock on her face.] HADES: Out of the way, grandma! Out of the way, grandma! Out of the way, grandma! Out of the way, grandma! Out of the way, grandma! [Hades uses his free arm and shoves the old lady aside, sending her to the ground. He then opens her driver side door and places Monosso's head in it and slams the door into it. Monosso clutches his head and rolls around the cement in pain.] HADES: How's that?? You still want my boot, boy?? Here, you can have it! [Hades lays a kick square in Monosso's face with the boot that James was trying to get before. Hades then jumps up on the hood of the old lady's car.] HADES: Give him to me, Mike. [Hades throws out his arms and motions to Mike Marconi who, with Bishop's help, lifts Monosso up and places him on Hades's shoulders in the powerbomb position. Hades then turns and drops Monosso with a HUGE powerbomb onto the roof of the car. Hades quickly jumps down from the hood and wipes his hands.] HADES: Let's get the hell out of here, boys. Monosso, you tell your buddy RRJ AND his boot that they're next! [The HOA walk off camera as the picture zooms in on Monosso's face as he lays on the roof of the car. He is still conscious and still has a wild look in his eye.] Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble Razor Ron Jeremy: Look at what the entire HOA did to poor James Monosso last week on Mayhem...they're a mob, Tony! Monosso is in the hospital now after having been powerbombed onto a car roof. Edwards: You do realize that all happened because he was after Bootie. RRJ: What? THIS Bootie? James has nothing to worry about anymore. After that screwjob at End of the World, I was so angry that in a pit of rage I took Bootie and threw him against a locker. You don't know how scared I was...I had knocked Bootie UNCONSCIOUS, Tony! I could have killed him but I didn't know it at the time. Then what was to happen if Bootie woke up? With the kooky way he's been acting lately - dropping on people's heads from inside the ring and all - I had no idea what Bootie would have done. I was drastic; I rolled him up in a blanket and went to throw him off the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. I rolled him up in a blanket and went to throw him off the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. I rolled him up in a blanket and went to throw him off the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. Tacoma Narrows Bridge Tacoma Narrows Bridge Tacoma Narrows Bridge [Suddenly, in the background of your screen, there is a faint collage of footage from November 7th, 1940...The Tacoma Narrows Bridge is swinging violently back & forth] I got to the bridge and as I was about to do it...then Bootie somehow fell out of the blanket and onto the bridge -- his stripes, his spike, his cape were all gone...He's was back to his old green self. That evil spirit Monosso was talking about all this time had vanished. Oh I just wish Monosso could be hearing me say this right now: BOOTIE'S EVIL SPIRIT IS GONE!! Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble James Monosso: I KNOW WHO SET ME UP! At first I thought it was the operator maybe it was my dog I thought it was Genghis Khan I thought it might be the Pope I thought it must be the IW janitor staff AND THEN IT HIT ME!! It was so obvious... I was a fool not to see it before... the answer is... THE TACOMA NARROWS BRIDGE COLLAPSED OVER FIFTY YEARS AGO! Razor Ron Jeremy: ...I rolled him up in a blanket and went to throw him off the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble (James Monosso stares blankly at the SURGE logo on the vending machine, and in the background, Razor Ron Jeremy enters through a side door...RRJ almost craps his pants.) Razor Ron Jeremy: James! James, over here! (James slowly turns around.) Razor Ron Jeremy: (shakes his hand energetically.) I didn't know you came back, man. It's great to see you! Are you feeling okay?! James Monosso: No, I am feeling cold and clammy. But that's only because I was put in the meat locker in the asylum for three days because I tried to break out. But I got them... heeheehee... I GOT THEM ALL! Razor Ron Jeremy: So are we gonna go out there tonight and make a scene, just like old times? James Monosso: Don't worry... you can be totally, completely, one hundred percent assured... I have your back. Razor Ron Jeremy: Awright, Let's go! (RRJ walks off, but Monosso idles there for a moment, seemingly in dreamland...) Monosso: ...I have your back... Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble Jim Robson - Here comes Razor Ron Jeremy to ringside carrying Bootie! Jack Anderson - What is he doing out here? Is he here to help out his partner, Hades? Or destroy his opponent, Hades? Jack Anderson - RRJ THROWS BOOTIE AT HADES! HE DUCKS! THE PROPHET JUST GOT NAILED BETWEEN THE EYES! Hades hits the WidowMaker on The Prophet! Hades goes for a pin. Jim Robson - HADES AND RRJ ARE BRAWLING! RRJ with a headbutt! He throws Hades out of the ring! Hades has a chair... HE NAILS RRJ! Hades slams RRJ's head into the steel post! He rolls RRJ back into the ring and is bashing the chair over his head! Jack Anderson - Hades sets up RRJ... HEAD AND ARM SUPLEX ON THE CHAIR! Jim Robson - James Monosso is out wearing a "NO HOA" T-Shirt and carrying a kitchen sink! He's in the ring! Hades swings the chair at him. Blocked by Monosso! Monosso smashes the sink on Hades' head! Jack Anderson - That asshole! He's gone from the fed for a few weeks with an injury and then he does this? Why is he helping RRJ up? Jim Robson - Monosso smashes RRJ in the face with the sink! Monosso smashes RRJ in the face with the sink! Monosso smashes RRJ in the face with the sink! Monosso smashes RRJ in the face with the sink! Jack Anderson - MONOSSO IS GOD! Jim Robson - Monosso rips off the "NO HOA" T-Shirt to show a "NO HOA OR RRJ!" T-Shirt! He's elbowdropping Bootie! Here comes security and asylum workers! Monosso flees through the crowd! Independence Day Rumble 2000 ****** ID4 2000 ****** Independence Day Rumble Razor Ron Jeremy: You've learned nothing. Bootie was, is, and always will be free of evil spirit. Bootie turned evil that one time because YOU WILLED IT SO! But now he's fine, and you still don't believe me...you even stab me in the back because of it. I was on your side, I trusted you! After all we've been through together. Did you know that the guys in the front offices of the I/W wouldn't even wanna deal with you? Did you know that you were super close to being FIRED because you we're too crazy to work with? They we're gonna have you sent back to Happy Acres, and Sean McDougal couldn't have done a thing. Then I opened my mouth and said "I'll take care of him, guys. James is a great addition to our roster. You'd be ever crazier than he is if you let him go." If they could work with my profound idiotic wackiness, they could work with you; and now you're a former Tag Team and Intercontinental Champion! James Monosso, you're still here because of ME, you son of a bitch. [Finally, the swinging bridge breaks apart and begins to crumble to pieces as it collapses into the water] James Monosso: Now I know who it was who set me up. Who had my medication taken away, and who called the asylum people? It could only be one person... our favorite... our friend... our champion... Razor Ron Jeremy. Corrupted, no doubt, by the demon-possessed boot itself. Razor Ron, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge that you said you threw the evil boot from is long gone. You only remembered that name because the collapse of the bridge was so famous. It shook and quivered so spectacularly, making the concrete and stonework look like rubber, that you would have believed it was a Hollywood production if you'd seen footage of it. And the collapse of Razor Ron Jeremy will be even worse. Razor Ron Jeremy: James, let me be perfectly 100% honest with you...I don't know what the hell bridge it was! It was just a bridge. An ordinary run-of-the-mill bridge that was still standing. I made a mistake, James. It could have been the Jesse Helms Bridge for all I knew. James Monosso: But at ID42K, it's not Hades that's going to make it happen. You see, Hades will fall as well. I haven't forgotten the pain... I haven't forgotten the anguish... I haven't forgotten the cowardly attack... I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN YOU, HADES! I am the one who is your collapse, Ron. I am the one who is your fall from GODhood, Hades. HADES: Monosso, you're even more demented than Ron Jeremy. More demented than a man who believes that a boot has a personality and can talk. Now that's pretty f***ed up! Razor Ron Jeremy: Hades, our team is long gone. Na na na na, na na na na, Hey hey, GOODBYE team! You won't be able to run from me this time...the lumberjacks are all around the ring and they're ready to beat your ass until you get back into the ring to face your destiny...your destiny that tells you that YOU CAN'T BEAT ME!! HADES: Ron Jeremy owes his last win over me to Steve West of all people. And if oweing a win to that cock is not humiliation enough, wait until you see what I do to the "champ" tonight! James Monosso: NOBODY CARES, HADES! Nobody cares about you or anyone else, and you've spent your whole life trying to MAKE them care! Razor Ron Jeremy: James hasn't learned a thing. You wanna go back to Happy Acres again, James? You can't, and the reason why is because I'm gonna make sure you stay here in the IWF/WOW as long as it takes for me to take this boot which rests above my brow, and cram it down your throat until you can't take any more of it's innocent goodness. HADES: I will not let anything come in my way of getting that World title back around my waist tonight. One way or another....it's coming home..... Razor Ron Jeremy: I'll have Bootie here give you the worst Bootie Call you've ever experienced...1,2,3. Ding dong ding dong all silver bells...Razor Ron Jeremy is STILL the IWF/WOW World Heavyweight Champion...CUZ RON IS GOD, AND GOD IS RON!!!! [The voices pile up until a neato graphic for Independence Day Rumble flies across the screen and "America the Beautiful" begins to play in the background...it fades away and fireworks BLAST out from every nook and crannie. There's a big IshikawaTron on the way to the ring and the ring ropes are red, white, and blue. American flags are waiving sporadically all over the MCI Center. Anthony Edwards stands in the center of the ring.] Anthony Edwards: WELCOME TO THE INDEPENDENCE DAY RUMBLE!!! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= _______ __ __ ______ __ __ _____ __ __ |__ __| \/\/ / _____| \/\/ // _ \\ \/\/ / __| |__ \ /\ /| ____| \ /\ /| (_) |\ /\ / |_______| \/ \/ |__| \/ \/ \_______/ \/ \/ =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- >>>>>>>>>>>>>> INDEPENDENCE DAY RUMBLE <<<<<<<<<<<<<<< -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= >LIVE! From Washington, USA <> Monday, July 3rd, 2000< =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [North American title Texas Death match] [champ] Daemon Winters vs "Hellraiser" John Grenchen [Intercontinental title match] [champ] "The Method Man" Chris Fisher vs "Smooth Criminal" Charlie Vahn [World tag team tournament finals] Lightning Bolts vs B:3 [20 man Independence Day Rumble - For a World title shot at Summer Explosion] James Monosso, Jeremy Stenzel, "Hollywood" Joe Vertigo, Johnny Sledge, John Van Mann, Chris Johnson, Dan "The Man" Watterson, Dark Bishop, "Epic" Eric Travers, Fusion, "The Enforcer" Kyle Combs, Magnus Colby, "Armed & Dangerous" Paul Krutsch, "The Rocket" Richard Blair, "Roman" Thomas Lawrence, "Moral Degeneracy" Tommy Grayson, "Crazy" Brett Morgenheim, Fate, "The Meat Machine" Mike Marconi, Grave [World title Lumberjack match - ID Rumble participants as Lumberjacks] [champ] Razor Ron Jeremy vs Hades [A capacity crowd is standing and cheering wildly in the sold-out MCI Center in Washington, DC for the Independence Day Rumble. Everybody's got some kind of sign: "I am a real American", "I am the mystery man in the ID Rumble", "Why the hell does Canada care about American Independence?". Some crazy fans in the front row are wearing 18th century style hats and knickers for the occasion. Anthony Edwards walks out the ring waving and smiling to the fans...he has a microphone.] Anthony Edwards: Thank you, thank you everyone for joining us here today in Washington or at home on Pay-per-view for the IWF/WOW Independence Day Rumble!! [Monstrous Crowd pop.] Anthony Edwards: We have amazing action for you this evening. We are anxiously waiting to get started, but first...as customary we will kick off this 4th of July weekend with the American National Anthem, The Star Spangled Banner! Please welcome...Francine!! [Francine...wearing a red, white, and blue dress...approaches the ring and looks toward the flag at the top of the MCI Center. Edwards holds the ropes open for her and he exits the ring. Francine blends in nicely with the ring ropes. Everyone turns to it and places their right hand over their hearts.] Francine: O say, can you see... by the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hail'd... at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars... thro' the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watch'd... were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets' red glare... the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there. O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave... O'er the land of the freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee [The Crowd goes bonkers. Airhorns go off everywhere.] and the home... of the... BRAAAAAAAAAAAVE! [Fireworks blast out of every corner of the arena...The ringposts shoot beautiful patters into the air...The rafters and the entranceway make it look like the building is about to explode with fireworks. Everybody's cheering and ready for action.] ["Hell isn't Good" by DVDA begins to play over the loudspeakers] Jim Robson: Welcome fans! It's looks like we're gonna get set for action right away with the Texas Death Match for the IWF/WOW North Amer...wait a minute...hold on here... [Instead of John Grenchen, President Chad Ishikawa enters the ring. He has a very determined look in his eye and a bright piece of paper in his hand. He politely asks Francine to step aside and she obeys.] Jack Anderson: Hey it's President Chad! How is going Mr. Ishikawa? Jim Robson: You know it WAS Jurkschat that put you back here! The President is in the ring now with that piece of paper, and he's got a microphone! President Chad Ishikawa: Now before we get to our matches scheduled for the evening, I have an important announcement that concerns...our #1 contender for the IWF/WOW World Heavyweight Championship. Hades, will you please come out here? ["Under" by Filter plays and Chad just looks on to the entranceway waiting for Hades to show up. He finally does to a roar of boos. He's wearing a black shirt that reads "Free Breathalyzer Test, Blow Here" with an arrow pointing to his crotch along with a pair of blue jeans and black boots. Hades steps into the ring and smiles, not really having an idea of what this announcement concerns, but he plays it cool.] Jack Anderson: I'll bet Chad is just gonna award the World Title to Hades right here, and then all our problems will be solved! Jim Robson: Quiet! Let's listen... PCI: Hades, do you have any idea why I have brought you out here? [Hades throws his hands up in the air.] PCI: Well you see, ever since March I've been trying ruthlessly to get the World Title off of Razor Ron Jeremy... [Crowd pop.] PCI: SHUT UP!! Now I've given you a shot before, but that match had unusual circumstances at the end of it, if you know what I mean. That's why I told you long in advance that you would have another title shot here at the Independence Day Rumble... [Hades simply smiles, but then Mr. Ishikawa puts his finger up.] PCI: HOWEVER... [Hades stops smiling.] PCI: However, I couldn't help but notice that in our opening video montage that was put together...you referred to me as a moron. [Hades rolls his eyes and puts his hands on his hips as he chuckles a little bit.] PCI: Hades...you son of a bitch, YOU called me a MORON!! You did it just last night on BattleCentre too. Did you seriously think I wasn't watching? After all I've done for you and you are incredibly ungrateful! [Hades starts to get just a little tense.] PCI: And so I brought you out here to show you this little paper I have...containing all the legal lumberjacks in tonight's main event...and while I have you out here [he takes out a pen], I will take the time to cross off "Silent but Violent" Dark Bishop, and "The Meat Machine" Mike Marconi from being at ringside in tonight's main event! [The Crowd pops for Hades' jaw-dropping reaction.] PCI: Good luck in the main event tonight, Hades. Sorry your HOA won't be there to watch! [Hades looks like he's about to explode. President Ishikawa turns around to leave the ring. Hades grabs his arm and spins him around and then he suckerpunches Mr. Ishikawa square in the face!] Jim Robson: OH MY GOD!! DID YOU SEE THAT? HADES JUST PUNCHED PRESIDENT ISHIKAWA IN THE FACE!! Jack Anderson: That's not all, Robson. He dropped that paper and Hades picked it up! He's kicking Ishikawa outta the ring! He's shaking off that punch!! [Hades now stands in the ring with the list of lumberjacks.] HADES: Chad, I take it back, man. You're not a moron at all. You never were a moron. Because what you really are is a F***ING IDIOT!!! [Crowd gives a chorus of jeers as Hades angrily flips them off. Ishikawa struggles to his feet outside the ring, clutching his face, as he watches Hades in the ring.] HADES: Now let me tell you something, Ishikawa. You may be able to trounce all over Ron Jeremy and make his life a living hell while he's holding that title. You might be able to book his matches any which way you please. But that is simply because Ron Jeremy doesn't have the god damned balls to do anything about it to stop you. I hope the shot I just gave to that oversized head of yours made you realize that you will NOT be able to do the same thing to me and get away with it! [President Ishikawa walks back to the entranceway in pain. Once he's gone, Hades holds up the lumberjack list and looks it over. He takes the cap off the pen in his other hand and goes down the list.] HADES: Now the way I figure it, _I_ basically RUN this fed myself anyways. I mean, seriously, let's face it, if it wasn't for me in the IWF/WOW, this place wouldn't be in business, let alone be any interesting. While I might not be the "figurehead" in charge like you are, Chad....I think you and I both know that I'm a hell of a lot more valuable to the IWF/WOW than YOU, and ESPECIALLY more valuable than any of the other "wrestlers" in this shithole! So, since I'm running the show here, you cock-jockey, I think _I_ will be picking who my lumberjacks are in my World title win for later tonight. So, let's see here.... [Hades slowly studies the list.] HADES: First things first...."The MeatMachine" Mike Marconi and "SBVDB" Dark Bishop will most definitely be lumberjacks here tonight... [Hades makes the necessary adjustments and then continues studying the sheet some more.] HADES: Hmmm......John Van Mann....no, he doesn't like me, he's gone. Prophet is gone. Eric Travers, gone. Magnus Colby, gone. Steve West...should have never been here in the first place. Cooper Concrete, Charlie Vahn, "Superfreak" Rick James....gone, gone, gone. [Hades makes several slashing marks on the paper.] Jim Robson: This is out of hand! Hades has no right to do this. He doesn't have this kind of power! Jack Anderson: Yeah right....you heard him. He's more important than anyone in the league, even me! Jim Robson: Oh please, Jack! The IWF/WOW's janitor is more important to the league than you! [Hades continues to ponder the list.] HADES: Geez....there's only Marconi and Bishop left now! [Hades scratches his head.] HADES: Well, let's see....Kyle Combs, Tommy Grayson, and John Grenchen. We'll throw them in there. They're at least indifferent at best. And we'll pencil in Bret Morgenheim, the Lightning Bolts, the Phlock since they're indifferent and insignificant. Jack Anderson: Wow! This is the perfect lumberjack list! [Hades begins pondering some more. The crowd begins to talk amongst themselves and many heads start to turn towards the entrance ramp.] Jim Robson: The crowd is beginning to stand...LOOK! IT'S RAZOR RON JEREMY!! HE'S STORMING TO THE RING!!! THE CROWD GOES BERSERK!! Jack Anderson: No! He's ruining the perfect lumberjack list! They're rolling all over the ring and laying the lefts and rights all over!! Watch out for that list! (RRJ's wearing Bootie on his head, an American flag T-shirt, red earmuffs, swimming goggles, brown fishing vest, gray sweatpants with sandals, and the IWF/WOW World Heavyweight Title is around his waist. Soon Hades and RRJ get into a tug-of-war with the paper...and it rips in two. Hades continues to pounce on RRJ begins to resist. He quickly picks up the microphone that Hades dropped.) Razor Ron Jeremy: Just hold on one cotton-pickin' second!! What the hell are you doing? Brawling like this isn't gonna solve anything so back the hell off! Hades...you tore up the list! HADES: Hey...yeah, we did tear up the list, didn't we? Jack Anderson: So now who the hell are the lumberjacks gonna be? [Suddenly President Ishikawa steps out again with an icepack on his left cheek.] PCI: Hades...I give up...you got me...::pant...pant::. Jack Anderson: Look what he did to the President of this company! He's having trouble breathing! PCI: But since I hate the both of you equally, and since I don't have any size or weight advantage over you two, I don't even wanna deal with you anymore. ::pant:: I'm no moron, Hades; I know I'll just get hurt again in the process...Hades, pick 5. RRJ, pick 5. YOU HEAR ME? PICK YOUR OWN DAMN LUMBERJACKS!! I quit dealing with you two! I QUIT!! [President Ishikawa limps to the back. Hades and RRJ are stunned.] Jack Anderson: He really injured the President! He has trouble walking now. Listen to him pant...he could end up like that kid on Malcolm in the Middle! That just goes to show you how much power Hades has behind one little punch! HADES: Fine then. Attention to all IWF/WOW moronic fans of Washington, DC, our lumberjacks for this evening will be: "The Meat Machine" Mike Marconi! "Silent but Violent" Dark Bishop [Hades ponders and then shrugs his shoulders...] HADES: Um....and I guess.... "The Enforcer" Kyle Combs "Hellraiser" John Grenchen and "Moral Degeneracy" Tommy Grayson. [Hades looks confused and shrugs his shoulders again.] HADES: Yeah...why not? (The Crowd boos like crazy until RRJ snatches the mic away...then they cheer. RRJ notices the pattern and slowly puts the mic back and they boo...then he jerks it back and they cheer :). RRJ: In that case, the other 5 lumberjacks for the night will be: Cooper Concrete! "Headhunter" Richard James! "Smooth Criminal" Charlie Vahn! The Prophet! And John Van Mann...THE NO HOA CLUB!!! (Monstrous face pop...until James Monosso walks out with a sadistic look on his face. He is dressed in his wrestling gear... his black-and-silver single-strap singlet and black boots. He also has a mike and he's about to speak as Hades and RRJ are ready to storm over to the entranceway.) James Monosso: Guys.....what about me? (Hades and RRJ both hop over the top rope ready to pounce on James Monosso....but suddenly a swarm of men wearing white rush in a stampede passed Monosso to stop them from attacking. Two of them have straightjackets.) Jim Robson: Both of these men have come to absolutely despise James Monosso! They're trying to attack him but they're being held off by mental hospital workers it seems...And Monosso disappears! Where did he go? AAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHH!!! Jack Anderson: Where's that laughter coming from?? [On the big screen above the entranceway appears James Monosso standing side by side with President Chad Ishikawa...who is laughing maniacally just like Monosso.] PCI: You two idiots seriously think I'm giving up that easy?! Go right ahead...pick whatever lumberjacks you want...I don't really give a damn...because James Monosso here is gonna be THE SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE!!! HAHAHAHAAA!! Enjoy yourselves tonight, boys...CUZ ISHIKAWA IS GOD, AND GOD IS ISHIKAWA!!! [The crowd gives a mixed reaction as the screen fades out...a whole lot of boos, a whole lot of cheers.] Jim Robson: RRJ and Hades are both ready to explode, Jack...AND BOTH MEN JUMP ON THOSE MEN IN WHITE!! They look like guys in white from the happy home! Hades and RRJ are taking their anger out on them! But there's way too many of them! Jack Anderson: LOOK! They're putting straightjackets on both Hades and RRJ! Our main event has a staightjacket on! RRJ: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, UGLES!! YOU _HAD_ TO PUNCH OUT THE PRESIDENT AS HE WAS DEMEANING YOU!! HADES: MY FAULT?? I HAD A DAMN GOOD LUMBERJACK LIST UNTIL YOU BROUGHT YOUR FAT ASS OUT HERE! THIS IS _YOUR_ FAULT!! Jim Robson: And both men are still trying to kick at each other as they're being hauled away! They're blaming each other! Look at what James Monosso and President Chad Ishikawa have done! Jack Anderson: So what's going on now in the main event? Combs, Grenchen, Grayson, Marconi, and Dark Bishop are Hades' lumberjacks? Jim Robson: Right. Jack Anderson: And Cooper Concrete, Headhunter, Vahn, Van Mann, and the Prophet are Razor Ron Jeremy's lumberjacks. Jim Robson: Correct. Jack Anderson: And James Monosso is the Special Guest Referee?! Jim Robson: Yes! Weren't you watching?? Jack Anderson: This is crazy! Everybody in the ring tonight hates each other...Obviously we have Hades and RRJ, then Hades sends Monosso back to the asylum for a few weeks after the HOA beats him down, and Monosso thinks RRJ was lying about Bootie...and if you want my opinion, he IS lying! Nobody should trust Razor Ron Jeremy anymore...Monosso was right! Jim Robson: This is amazing...what a Pay-per-view extravaganza we have for you this evening...what you just witnessed in the ring goes to show you that ANYTHING can happen in the I/W. _______________________________________ [Scene is cut to Charlie Vahn standing next to Anthony Edwards and the lovely Martini. Charlie Vahn is looking especially styling tonight. He's wearing an aqua colored sports coat, white khakis, and a pair of green Arnette Sunglasses. Martini is looking very skimpy, wearing a purple velvet tube top, black leather boots, and a pair of black adidas button down sweat pants. Charlie Vahn is standing in front of an I/W logo, ready to vent out some final words before the match.] [Crowd POP!] Anthony Edwards: The IC belt is at hand tonight. What's going threw your mind right now Vahn? Charlie Vahn: All I gotsta say is dat I'm still red-hot, I'm still on top, and I'm still gonna get dat title, and show not only da I/W, but my fans around da world dat dis "Smooth Criminal" is definitely gonna be da BEST DAMN INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, period. Anthony Edwards: What can we expect from you tonight? Charlie Vahn: Well Eddy, as you know, I'm a professional break-dancer and martial artist, I'm just gonna have to put togetha a little dance mixin' and ass kickin' inta one. Anthony Edwards: Anything to say about your opponent tonight? Charlie Vahn: Da one ting Fisha don't know is dat he may have da money and influence here in da I/W, but I have my boys in 3:B, and da crowd backin' me up. Support from da fans and great allies such as my boys in da 3:B getcha to da top Chris, not ya pussy Syndicate or Money. Remember dis Fisha, ya can't buy dat belt back when I take is from yas. Tonight, I'm gonna show ya'll what dis "Smooth Criminal" can do, and I'm gonna steal it straight from ya punk ass Fisha because....I'M JUST TOO DAMN SMOOTH! [Vahn flashes the 3:B as he and Martini leave frame.] Francine: Ladies and Gentlemen our next contest is for the North American Heavyweight Championship [Crowd Pop] Francine: The following match will be a Texas Death Match! It is a no disqualification, no count-out match. The loser will be the man who cannot reach his feet after a count of ten! Introducing first... ["Hell Isn't Good" begins to play over the loudspeakers.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from 7th Circle of Hell standing 6 feet 6 inches and weighing 258 pounds, here is ... THE HELLRAISER! JOHN GRENCHEN! [A light mist starts to fall among the crowd as a pleasurable breeze flows. "Little boy at peace, what is this place, beyond the stars. Open up yours eyes. What are these things you're moving towards. Eyes full of wonder" Lights begin to flash of white. "Worries in the past... could it be you're free?" Lights go out and an explodsion comes from the entrance and The Hellraiser comes out with a microphone. HELLRAISER: NO! Lights turn red as screams and yells of pain are heard through the P.A "Little boy you're going to hell! For Throwin rocks at the birds, saying bad words, and having sex everyday. You're not going anywhere this ain't disneyland it's hell." Hellraiser walks towards the ring leaving a trail of fire behind him "Little boy it's time for you to pay! For hurtin the birds Not going to church And looking at boobs everyday! You thought you were in bed instead you're in hell!" Hellraiser goes through the ropes and the turnbuckle posts explode and the ropes seem to be on fire "Hell isn't good! Hell isn't good! It's Hell! Hell isn't good! Hell isn't good! Its Hell!.] JA: Wow, I'm surprised that Grenchen isn't half broke from using all that pyro..lord knows he can't get the winners side of the paycheck. Especially not after Daemon Winters takes him out tonight. Oh no, he's going to run his mouth.. JHG: WELCOME TO INDEPENDANCE DAY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! This is going to be a day of independance. When North America FINALLY is relieved of the hands of the most pathetic, pansy ass, shouldn't-be-a-wrestler-but-is-anyway LOSER like winters. And when the cannons have stopped, when the bullets stop flying you shall see me above the bloody body of the once North American champion holding up the belt. And Winters, you shall scream OUT LOUD a yell of agony that has never been heard of or will be again! JR: I don't know Jack. Winters had some pretty strange words on Battlecenter, I don't think his hearts really going to be in this match. ["Wasting my Hate" by Metallica begins to play over the loudspeakers.The crowd has a mixed reaction but lots of booing.] Francine: And his opponent... About to enter the ring, from Chicago, Illinois, standing 6 feet 1 inches and weighing 238 pounds, here is the I/W North American Champion.. DAEMON WINTERS!!!!!!!! [Winters steps through the curtain with a sneer. He wears some new wrestling gear, long tights with a crimson money symbol distorted and dripping blood. He has black boots with his initials DW in crimson on the outsides. His black hair is slicked back as usual and his icy blue eyes glare at his opponent with hatred. He turns to look at the fans with disgust. And then a sudden explosion thunders behind him and he stalks to the ring menacingly. He steps through the ropes, never taking his eyes off his opponent, and waits impatiently for the bell to ring.] JA: He looks pretty focused to me, Jimbo. He's in his own little world of pain and suffering now. [Francine steps out of the ring as both men stand toe to toe glaring at each other. The referee just steps back apprehensively waiting.] JR: The two men sizing each other up now..eye to eye, face to face, Grenchen with a look of ferocity and Winters with his usual cold stare of disdain.. JA: Grenchen better step back before Winters decides to break one of his various body parts.. [The two men begin to have words and in a blink of an eye they're all over each other with fists flying as the fans erupt into thunderous cheering.] JA: Well, you know this fight wasn't going to break out into anything technical..these men are going all out! JR: They're rolling around on the mat pounding each other senseless..they roll out of the ring and fall to the floor! JA: Grenchen with a kick to the gut! Winters with a chop! Grenchen with a hard right! Winters with a left! Grenchen blocks! Another kick to the gut! He whips Winters into the stairs! JR: Winters hit hard there! Grenchen lifts him up..suplex! No! Winters slides out and lands behind Grenchen! Grenchen turns around into a kick to the gut from Winters! Winters whips him into the post! [Grenchen hits with a loud smack and spirals through the air before landing on the outside mats] JR: Winters stalks over now.kick to the head of the doubled over Grenchen. Winters with a hotshot over the guardrail! A left.a right..He whips Grenchen into the apron! No! Grenchen with a reversal! Winters hits hard and Grenchen jumps on him knocking him to the mats with a flying forearm! JA: Grenchen lifts Winters up and slams his head against the apron, then rolls him into the ring. Grenchen enters the ring, but Winters is already on top of him with forearms. He and Grenchen get to their feet. Winters chops Grenchen back into the corner. Winters with another chop! [Crowd woo] JR: Grenchen responds with a kick to the gut! He reverses and tosses Winters into the corner! He begins working him over with rights and lefts! Winters slumps down and Grenchen begins choking him with his boot! He pulls Winters up out of the corner and whips him into the other buckle. He follows in, but Winters slings over. Grenchen with a right! But Winters blocks and hits with a right of his own, knocking Grenchen back into the corner. Winters now stomping a mudhole in Grenchen! JA: Winters grabs Grenchen and whips him into the ropes..spinning heel kick from Winters, and he's all over him with fists flying! Beat his ass! JR: Winters picks Grenchen up and goes for a body slam, but Grenchen slips out and spins Winters around into a jawbreaker that staggers Winters back into the ropes. Grenchen charges..but Winters ducks and sends him over the top with a back body drop! Grenchen hit the floor hard.. Referee: ONE TWO THREE FOUR JA: Amazing Grenchen is up after only a four count! Winters sees him hop up onto the apron and heads over with a forearm.but gets blocked by Grenchen! Grenchen retaliates! He hooks Winters up for a suplex! OH CRAP! [CRASH...Crowd pop] JR: Ladies and gentlemen Grenchen has just suplexed Winters through our announce table from the apron! JA: Both men hit pretty hard and are struggling to get up! Referee: ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX JR: Grenchen reaches his knees as Winters is just starting to come to..what the...he's got a smile on his face! What a sick bastard! JA: Winters is the master of pain, Jim. This is probably what he does in his spare time! JR: Grenchen lifts Winters up and whips him into the guardrail. Winters hits and Grenchen follows up with a mafia kick that sends Winters over the rail and into the people! Grenchen follows him out there! Grenchen lifts him up and hits him with a right! And another! No! Winters blocks and hits with a kick to the gut! He picks Grenchen up over his shoulder and tries to ram him into the arena wall! But Grenchen slides down his back and shoves him face first into the cinderblocks! Winters hits and staggers around into a kick to the gut.and a DDT on the concrete! JA: The referee finally gets his slow ass out there to count! Referee: ONE TWO THREE JR: Grenchem just picked Winters up! He wants to inflict some more punishment! JA: Grenchen rams Winters head into the wall! No! Winters gets his hands up! Elbow to the gut! He rams Grenchens head against the wall! Winters with a short clothesline!.. JR: Winters grabs Grenchen's legs...slingshot into that wall! Grenchen is busted open! JA: Winters lifts Grenchen up before the ref can even count! He drags Grenchen back by the hair.they're exiting the fans now and heading back stage with the ref in tow! JR: Winters whips Grenchen into one of the vending booths! Grenchen hits hard and slumps down! JA: Uh oh..Winters has a trash can full of weapons! He pulls out a broom.he breaks it over the back of Grenchen! He pulls out a pitcher.and smashes it over Grenchen's bloody head! Winters picks Grenchen up and whips him into the bathroom door! JR: Winters lifts Grenchen up and whips him into one of the stalls! No! Grenchen reverses! Grenchen with a right.and another! He whips Winters into one of the urinals! Winters staggers out holding his back.Grenchen knocks him down with a big right! Grenchen lifts him up and pushes him into one of the stalls! Grenchen grabs Winters head and tries to give him a swirlee! Winters is fighting it with everything he's got! Winters hits with an elbow to the gut! He slams Grenchen's head against the tank of the toilet! Winters shoves Grenchen against the wall of the stalls! He slams the stall door against Grenchen's head! Grenchen staggers out of the stall and into a piledriver from Winters! Referee: ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX JA: Grenchen is up and Winters is all over him! Winters slams Grenchens head against the hot air hand dryer! He whip Grenchen into the far wall! He follows in with.an avalanche! Winters gets ready to whip Grenchen back across.Grenchen reverses! Winters smashes his head against the mirror and is streaming blood! Referee: ONE TWO THREE JR: Winters is up! He charges Grenchen! Grenchen with a spinebuster! Grenchen picks Winters up and whips him into the door! Winters crashes through to the main hallways of the arena! Grenchen is right on him! Grenchen grabs a bat from the trash can and slams it across Winters shoulder! Grenchen grabs the trash can and slams it against Winters back! Grenchen lifts Winters up and whips him into the vending booth! Winters hits..Grenchen follows in.Winters back body drops him onto the counter! Winters with and elbow to the throat. He grabs Grenchen by the chin and head and drags him across the counter, knocking over various foodstuffs, and drags him right off the counter onto the floor! JA: Winters jumps up onto the counter.he's climbing onto the roof of the booth! JR: But Grenchen is right behind him! Grenchen knocks Winters back down to the counter and jumps down on him with an elbow drop! Grenchen picks Winters up and sets him up for a suplex off of the counter! But Winters counters with punches to the gut! He throws Grenchen's hands off of him and hits him with a right! He switches sides with Grenchen.and executes a hurricanrana off the counter and to the cement floor! Referee: ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN JA: Grenchen and Winters are up! Winters hits Grenchen with a forearm! Grenchen retaliates! They're fighting up to the second level! JR: They're trading punches as they climb the stairs..they're back out into the crowd now, fighting on the balcony! Winters whips Grenchen into the rail.but Grenchen reverses! NO! Winters reverses again into a legsweep DDT ! Winters walks over to the balcony and looks over..I don't like that look on his face! He walks back over to Grenchen and picks him up. He slings him over his shoulder...and runs towards the rail! JA: HE'S GONNA VAULT GRENCHEN OFF THE BALCONY!! JR: No! Grenchen slides loose and pushes Winters into it ! Winters flips over the rail! JA: BUT HE HOLDS ON! JR: I thought Winters was a goner there for a second! Winters flips himself back up and over just in time to catch a right from Grenchen! Winters almost fell off the balcony and through that table below! JA: Winters takes a right from Grenchen! Grenchen moves around Winters with his back to the balcony now! Winters goes for a kick! Grenchen catches it! Grenchen spins Winters around.he goes for a pumphandle slam.but Winters escapes and slides down Grenchens back, landing with his feet on the rail! JR: Grenchen turns around...HURRICANRANA BY WINTERS! WAIT! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THIS IS AMAZING! Winters executed a hurricanrana that should have sent both men spiraling to the first floor! But as Winters flipped over, he grabbed the railing! But Grenchen is holding onto Winters waist for dear life! JA: Both men are dangling from the second floor! Grenchen is trying to wriggle back up! JR: BUT WINTERS CAN"T HOLD ON! BOTH MEN PLUNGE TO THE SECOND FLOOR AS GRENCHEN POWERBOMBS WINTERS THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE FIRST FLOOR! JA: THIS CROWD IS GOING INSANE! [TABLE chants begin to start as the referee counts] Referee: ONE" TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX JR: Grenchen is up.what an amazing feat! JA: C'mon Winters.. SEVEN EIGHT NINE JR: Winters is back up! This is inhuman! Grenchen is shocked!He hits him with a right! But Winters responds with one! A left from Grenchen! A chop from Winters! A kick from Grenchen! A kick from Winters. It seems to be waking him up! Winters and Grenchen brawl back to the backstage area! They're in the area right before the causeway with all the tech crew junk lying around! Grenchen whips Winters into a giant speaker! No! Winters reverses into a Death Valley Driver! Referee: ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE JR: Winters is climbing the giant speaker... SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE JR: Winters just came off of that speaker with a moonsault onto Grenchen! He had the match won but he decided to hurt him some more! JA: That's why Winters is the man Jimbo! He just doesn't care! JR: Winters lifts Grenchen up and throws up the Syndicate sign. JA: Yeah! He's going to give Grenchen the Silencer! JR: What the..Charlie Vahn just came up behind Winters and threw some kind of dust in his face! Vahn with a brainbuster on Winters! JA: Hey! Grenchen said no interference! JR: He said no Syndicate or Decon interference! Vahn is neither! JA: What a little worm! He knew he couldn't win so he brought backup! JR: I'll have to agree with you on this one..this is pretty low. But Winters deserves it. Vahn tossing Winters up onto a table now..he grabs the cords from the camera crew equipment and...begins tying Winters to the table! Winters is trapped! The referee is counting! ONE TWO THREE " FOUR FIVE SIX JR: Winters is up and struggling now! He can't get free! It's like Gullivers travels! SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN!!! JR: Grenchen just won the title back! He cheated to do it, but the victory is his none the less as a fuming Winters breaks free of the cables! He attacks Grenchen and Vahn a lariat for Vahn, and he ducks a right from Grenchen and kicks him in the gut! Silencer from Winters! He kicks Vahn in the gut! Silencer for Vahn as well! Winters limps away fuming! JA: That was the most incredible screwjob I have ever seen! What a match! Francine: Here is your winner and NEW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION!!!! "HELLRAISER" JOHN GRENCHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ________________________________________ AE: Right now, I'm standing here with a participant in the Independence Day Rumble match-up... [The camera zooms backwards slowly to reveal none other than "The Original Suicide Blonde" Tommy Grayson, with that shit-eating grin on his face. He's in his wrestling gear: black tights with a metallic silver jagged rock-type design down each leg, black kneepads, black kicking pads, and black boots. His fists are taped as well and his long, bleached blonde hair is slicked back and hangs down to his shoulders. Noticeably, it's now streaked with black. Beside him is the freakin' hot Katrina Leigh, dressed in a silver spaghetti-strapped gown.] AE: The former I/W Intercontinental champion, Tommy Grayson-- [An almost paranoid Tommy Grayson immediately cuts in.] TG: Former? Former? Did I just hear you say "former I/W Intercontinental champion"?! [Edwards has a confused look on his face.] AE: Uh, yessir. [Grayson, trying to look all that and a bag of potato chips, grabs Edwards by the collar and jerks him foward.] TG: Listen up, Edwards, and listen good! First of all, I _never_ lost that damn belt! I never lost it, you hear me? I mean, sure, Chris Fisher kind of, you know, pinned me for it... but I'm the one who brought the belt to notoriety! I'm the one who brought _fame_ to the Goddamn belt! You think a talentless idiot like Chris Fisher could do that? HELL NO! You think John Van Mann could've done that if he at least had enough talent to beat me? [Grayson, with a Charlie Manson psycho look... or something, angrily raises his eyebrows and glares at Anthony Edwards, who is a little bit confused. Katrina puts her hands on her hips and rolls her eyes. Obviously, she's embarassed by this. Wouldn't you be?] TG: Say it, Edwards. Say it! AE: Er... hell no? TG: That's exactly right, Edwards. I mean, you think everybody else in this federation has enough talent to beat a superstar like me? The Original Suicide Blonde? Screw that, pal! Nobody, and I mean _nobody_ is 100 percent without suck in the IWF/WOW! Got that? By GOD, I _rule_ this promotion! Watch me win the Rumble, Tony... WATCH ME! [He's gone mad! Grayson shoves Edwards away and storms off along with Katrina. Edwards straightens himself out before turning his attention back to the camera. Just before he speaks, however, he clears his throat.] AE: Uh... Tommy Grayson, ladies and gentlemen! Obviously, er, confident that he's going to win the Independence Day Rumble. [With that, the camera cuts back to action.] Jim Robson: I don't know about you Jack, but this has been an INTENSE PayPerView! "Hellraiser" John Grenchen and Daemon Winters clashing, as well as Chris Fisher taking on the "Smooth Criminal" Charlie Vahn. Jack Anderson: Whatever, I'm just waiting for Hades to FINALLY win the damn championship! Jim Robson: We'll see about that later Jack, but for now we have our 3rd title match of the evening. The Lightning Bolts will clash with The Boston Bad Boys, Cooper Concrete and Richard James of Team 3:B in the IWF/WOW tag tournament finals for the championship, tonight! [Two ring crew members escorted by a guard carry the IWF/WOW Tag Belts to the ring.] Jack Anderson: Woooo! Here come the belts now! One with Gaijin's name and one with Strafer's name on it! Jim Robson: It doesn't say that Jack! I'd be surprised if they did though because look Jack! The Lightning bolts may be fast, but Cooper Concrete and Richard James are colossal and have been unstoppable as of late! Jack Anderson: Here comes Francine now... [Two pillars are placed in the center of the ring, each cradling the tag belts. Francine stands in the middle ready to introduce the final contenders.] Francine: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match, scheduled for one fall and a time limit of 20 minutes, is for the IWF/WOW Tag Team Titles! [Crowd Cheer] ["Thunderstruck" by AC/DC begins to play as the crowd boos.] Francine: Introducing the first pair of finalists, weighing in at a combined 425 pounds. They hail from America but call Japan their true home...they call themselves the best damn tag team in the world today...they are... CYCLONE GAIJIN!!! HURRICAINE STRAFER!!! THEY ARE...THE LIGHTNING BOLTS!!!!! [Pyro explodes as Strafer and Gaijin makes their appearance. The crowd starts to boo even louder. The Lightning Bolts make their way down to ringside, completely ignoring the audience. Strafer is wearing long blue tights with a white lightning bolt on the left leg. He also wears white boots and a blue mask. Gaijin is wearing a black bodysuit with black boots with a red lightning bolt on the right leg and a red "V" on the chest, along with a black mask with two red horns on the side. They both hop up on the apron. Strafer slingshots his way into ring as Gaijin hops up to top rope and backflips off the top rope to the center of the ring. Both members of the Lightning Bolts show off some martial arts kicks before posing in the middle of the ring.] [Heel Heat] Jim Robson: Our Washington D.C. fans are definitely not behind the Lightning Bolts tonight. Jack Anderson: They may be little! But they've taken out RRJ and Hades, two of the biggest guys in the Fed! ["Lightning Strikes" by Aerosmith begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd has a mixed reaction....the loud blaring sounds of motorcycles are heard and decked out in black and red leather motorcycles suits, one motorcycle and one motorcycle with sidecar enter the arena and make their way down the aisle. The three individuals are wearing black helmets and sunglasses.] Francine: And now....introducing two of the I/W's most powerful, and 2nd pair of finalists for the Tag Team Championship belts...from Boston, Massachusetts, weighing a combined 572 pounds....led to the ring by their manager, KELLY JAMES... [Kelly removes her helmet and gets out of the sidecar.] Here are COOPER CONCRETE and "HEADHUNTER" RICHARD JAMES... THE BOSTON BAD BOYS!!!!!!!!!! (Cooper and Richard remove their helmets and the crowd cheers wildly! The HeadHunter is wearing a yellow mohawk this evening and begins to remove his jacket. Cooper too removes his jacket. Both Cooper and HeadHunter wear no shirts, black wrestling tights red stripes down the leg, as well as red elbow pads and kneepads, and black boots. The duo removes their shades and enter the ring and escort Kelly James through the ring ropes. The threesome acknowledge the crowd and flashes the 3:B signal to the crowd.) [HUGE POP!] Jim Robson: WOW! Monstrous approval for these two legends! As you folks at home can see, both Richard James and Cooper Concrete are ready for action, and are extremely pumped! [Ring crew removes the pillars and the referee holds up the Tag Team titles.] Jack Anderson: Just a reminder, [ad screen appears] be sure to send in your cable or satellite bill and receive a free Razor Ron Jeremy huggable...squeezable, plush doll for your purchase of ID4 2000! [DING DING DING!] Jim Robson: Starting off now are Cooper Concrete and Cyclone Gaijin, they circle the ring now, Cooper keeping an eye of Gaijin, this match-up is strictly on Speed/Reflexes vs. Power! We'll so how well it holds up! Gaijin charges Cooper, Cooper sways, locks up with Gaijin, irish whip, Cooper ducks under as Gaijin's jumpkick attempt, Cooper turns, he lifts up Gaijin.... Jack Anderson: BODYSLAM!! The canvas is shacking after the power of Cooper's slam. Jim Robson: Cooper pulls Gaijin up by the mask now, irish whip to the corner, REVERSAL, Gaijin with a HANDSPRING ELBOW ASSAULT! Jack Anderson: Face full of Gaijin's elbow! That's definitely what Cooper needed! Jim Robson: Gaijin whips Cooper to the other turnbuckle, Strafer now up on the turnbuckle! He's not the legal man in! MISSILE DROP KICK by STRAFER! Richard James in now, the ref trying to prevent James from entering....the Lightning bolts double team Cooper Concrete. They whip him against the ropes.... Jack Anderson: Cooper ducks! Jim Robson: Lightning Bolts are stunned, Cooper against the ropes.... *SMACK* Jack Anderson: Double-clothesline! [Crowd Cheers] Jim Robson: Damn that was loud! Cooper kicks Strafer as he rolls out, picks up Gaijin again, tags in Richard James....and now James using hard right forearms to Gaijin's back.....James whips Gaijin against the ropes, kick to the gut....he telegraphs! Jack Anderson: Gut wrench into a POWERBOMB!! Referee with the count! 1 . . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . SHOULDER UP! Jack Anderson: Whew.. Jim Robson: the "Head Hunter" Richard James really wants that Tag Belt. James up, he drags a winded Gaijin to the corner, he puts his boot in Gaijin's neck.......referee doesn't like this..... Ref: Let 'em go......1 2 3 4 Jim Robson: James releases, gives another boot to the face of Gaijin....he picks up Gaijin against.....HARD whip to the corner.....Gaijin hits, falls forward....Richard James grabs him, INVERTED DDT! Another cover... 1 . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . KICKOUT! Jack Anderson: Two-and-a-half! Too close! Cyclone Gaijin is no where near the strength and power of "Head Hunter" Richard James, but he's still pulling through... Jim Robson: James is frustrated....he gets Gaijin in a headlock.....he's attempting a running bulldog here! He...NO! Reversal! Gaijin slips through! James falls into the ropes...CLOTHESLINE! James goes over! A winded Gaijin runs over and tags in his partner Hurricaine Strafer!! Jack Anderson: James is up, shacking the cobwebs off..... Jim Robson: Strafer sees James outside....OH MAN! SUICIDE DIVE! JAMES almost hit the announcer table here! Strafer up, he gives accouple boots to the head....picks up James by that intersting hairstyle of Richard James. Strafer rolls in, he kicks James in the face, James still dazed from that dive.... Jack Anderson: Look at him! He's been smacked stupid! Jim Robson: Stafer against the ropes, he gains momentum...OH! James is up! *HARD SMACK* [Crowd cheers] Jack Anderson: HARD CLOTHESLINE! Jim Robson: I'll say! Another cover! 1 . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . FOOT ON THE ROPE! Jack Anderson: James stands up and tags in Cooper Concrete, who's fresh and ready now. Jim Robson: Strafer is up, Cooper locks on, PILEDRIVER! Cooper up! LEG DROP! [Crowd cheers] Jim Robson: He picks up Strafer! Whips him...NO REVERSAL!! Cooper off the ropes....SPINING HEEL KICK! Strafer tags in Gaijin now! Jack Anderson: Gaijin seems to be ready again. Cooper on his feet......Gaijin charges..... Jim Robson: Gaijin attempts to clothesline Cooper....He misses, COOPER GRABS GAIJIN BY THE NECK, FULL NELSON SLAM! The "Man with the Plan" Cooper Concrete is ON FIRE! If he keeps this up, the Lightning Bolts are threw!! Cooper picks up Gaijin! CEMENT MIXER! SWINGING DDT! [Moderate Crowd Pop!] Jack Anderson: COOPER IS SIGNALLING THE 3:B! Jim Robson: THE BOSTON BACK BREAKER!! HE LOCKED GAIJIN IN! [CROWD POP!] Jack Anderson: Oh no!! Come on!! Get out! Jim Robson: IS HE GONNA TAP? Strafer is panicing! He jumps up onto the turnbuckle! MISSLE DROP KICK! Cooper flies back! He releases....damnit! Strafer runs out....Gaijin panics....He tags in Strafer!.....Strafer runs in up the turnbuckle! Jack Anderson: 450 SPLASH!....NO, DAMN! He missed, Cooper rolled away, he landed on his feet. Oh... Jim Robson: I think..I think Strafer landed that incorrectly...he's grabbing his leg in pain! Jack Anderson: Cooper looks a James with a grin....he tags Richard James in...Oh is he hunger for some gold~! Jim Robson: Richard James drags Strafer by his bad leg, elbow to the knee, and another!! Strafer is screaming in pain!... Jack Anderson: Richard James covers Strafer! 1 . . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . SHOULDER UP! [Heel Heat] Jack Anderson: Come on! Get up! Jim Robson: Richard James lets go, he gets up....pulls Strafer to his feet! It looks like he's gonna give him a MAJOR clothesline! He goes against the ropes, charges Strafer!! I think he's....NO! Strafer ducks, he runs to the ropes, HARD KICK TO RICHARD JAMES'S FACE! THAT WAS WITH HIS BAD LEG!! HE WAS PLAYING POSSUM THE WHOLE TIME! HE JUMPS ON TO THE ROPES! Jack Anderson: PAVEMENT DRIVER! PAVEMENT DRIVER!! IT'S OVER! Jim Robson: Gaijin ran over and clobbed Cooper before he could get in! Strafer covers Richard James. 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . . THREE!!!!!!!! Jack Anderson: IT'S OVER. THE LIGHTNING BOLTS ARE THE NEW TAG CHAMPS! [DING DING DING!] Francine: Your winners, and new IWF/WOW Tag Team Champions! Hurricaine Strafer, and Cyclone Gaijin......THE LIGHTNING BOLTS!! Jim Robson: Well folks, there ya have it....The titles, no longer vacant, and the Lightning Bolts your new champions and winners of the tag-team tournament. Up next is our 20-Man Battle Royal! [An ad for Summer Explosion 2000 comes up, call your local cable or satellite for details.] ______________________________________ [[Hell isn't good blares on the P.A as The Hellraiser walks to the annoucer's table. He grabs Jack and shoves him out and sits on his spot. Jack looked like he was going to say something but the Hellraiser just pushes him away]] J.R: Well, you look all happy. JHG: I know, [[Brings out a box]] Now that I have this again. J.R: The sound box? JHG: YEP! Lets get this thing going.. [[Plays a "Let's get ready to rumble" sound byte]] [[Ding ding]] Francine: Ladies and Gentlemen. This bout is for one fall and its for the Intercontinental CHAMPIONSHIP! [[Crowd pops]] ["Stayin' Alive Remix" by N'Trance begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd cheers.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from New York, New York, USA standing 6 feet 1 inches and weighing 210 pounds, here is ... "Smooth Criminal" Charlie Vahn!! [The Smooth Criminal walks out of the entrance wearing a very slick white tuxedo coat and black khaki pants looking like he's ready to steal yet another win. Accompanied by Charlie is his petite yet attractive manager....Martini. Pausing for a moment, and then raising his hands as the pyrotechnics send out loads of sparks. Criminal struts down the ramp with the lovely Martini to the ring. Martini steps aside while Vahn jumps up onto the apron, gives a half-grin, then enters through the second opening on the ropes. Vahn then raises his arms in the shape of a "V" in the both directions as the lights flash and ring starts to smoke up. When the smoke has cleared, you find that Criminal has taken his coat off, proudly displaying a sporty black vest. Vahn anxiously awaits the next victim who dares to try and stop this "Smooth Criminal."] J.R: There's the man who wanted a north american title shot and got this. JHG: Well, he should be glad not to step in my territory. He would have gotten a beating worse than the two I got him. And I still think it should be a member of Deconstruction Incorporate who should be getting this shot. J.R: Sorry, you're not the booker. JHG: More's the pity. [[Tragic music sound byte is played]] J.R: You know, I don't know how you're allowed to play that thing here. JHG: Lets keep it that way. [The lights in the arena suddenly go out, sending the place into blackness. The faint swell of music is heard in the background...very soft...getting louder...and then...] Voice Over The PA: Hey...what can I say? Its just buisness... [Real Solution # 9 by White Zombie (non lyrical) suddenly blares throughout the arena, sending the fans into a frenzy of boos. The lights suddenly come back on with a distinct green tint to them, and begin flashing on and off. Stepping from behind the curtain is "The Method Man" Chris Fisher, who is basked in a tremendous heel pop. Behind him, the Jumbo-Tron flashes "FISHER" and shows stock footage of The Method Man, including shots of him posing in sunglasses with a smirk on his face, and shots of him hitting his finisher on several opponents] Francine: About to come down the aisle, hailing from CHICAGO, ILLINOIS...he weighs in at two hundred and fifty pounds...here is... "T H E M E T H O D M A N" C H R I S F I S H E R!!!! [Fisher stands for a moment in the enterance way as gold fireworks shoot off behind him. The Method Man looks around smugly at the crowd and takes a swig of bottled water before tossing it and making his slow and deliberate walk to the ring. Fisher is not too hugely built, though he is well defined. He has short brown hair, wetted down and combed down the front of his his head, a few strands over his forehead. "The Method Man" wears leg long black tights with green trim running down both legs and across the waist. "Fisher" is spelt in yellow letters down his right leg. Fisher wears simple black boots to go with this. Fisher casually strolls to the ring, and slides in under the bottom rope, immediatly climbing the turnbuckle and staring out with smug self-satisfaction out at the crowd who greet him with hearty boos and thrown debris. Fisher removes his sunglasses and tosses them all the way down to ringside where the time keeper bobbles and drops them. Fisher doesn't seem to notice much, and instead basks in the crowds reaction for a moment. In his mind, they love him. After a moment, Fisher hops back off as his music dies down and leans in the corner, a cruel smile on his face, waiting for his opponent...] JHG: Now there's the loser who thought could bring the One Man Army down. HA! [[Plays a candid laughter sound byte]] J.R: I'm pretty sure he's going to take his rage on that account on Charlie. JHG: We'll see. [Ding ding] J.R: Bell has sound and the match is underway. Chris Fisher seems to be taunting the rising star. JHG: Yeah, if he was facing me he wouldn't have time to taunt. J.R: The Smooth Criminal isn't liking being made fun of. AND HE JUST THREW A PUNCH AT CHRIS FISHER! He's throwing punches by the basket full at the Method man. JHG: Lets see him think of a method to get out of this. J.R: Charlie Vahn doing some kicks to the face of Chris Fisher and DROP KICK RIGHT IN THE KISSER AND CHRIS FISHER GOES OVER THE ROPE! [[A kissing sound byte is played]] J.R: Yep, I'm pretty sure he's gonna need plastic surgery to fix that problem. JHG: Charlie Vahn goes to the top rope and.. Moonsault right on the method man! Impressive. J.R: Most impressive, where's a sound byte for that? JHG: It wasn't THAT impressive. J.R: You're impossible. Charlie Vahn goes to the barricade RUN AND.. Crowd: Oooh! JHG: And Chris Fisher with a blow right to the stomach! Charlie goes down on the floor. Ref os coming out and telling them both to get back in the ring. J.R: Chris Fisher seem to be having a few words with the ref who seems not to care. He's continuing to tell him to get back into the ring! Chris pushes the ref grabs The Smooth Criminal and tosses him back. He's completely disrespectful to authority. JHG: What til he sees what authority D.I holds. J.R: Chris Fisher gets to the second rope and.. Elbow into the chest of Charlie Vahn! He could of broken a rib! Charlie is gasping for air in pain! JHG: Now there's a picture moment. [[A picture shutter sound byte is played]] J.R: You're a monster sometimes. JHG: Sometimes? I guess I'm gonna have to try harder. Crowd: Oooh! J.R: MY GOD! Chris Fisher just slapped on STF! My god! Charlie Vahn must be hurting. He's screaming. like a tortured soul. [Thunk] J.R: Grenchen just grabbed his sound box and a microphone and he's... recording ..Charlie's ..scream. He's one sick demented child. [Some muffle noise from the microphone as JHG goes back to the commentator's booth] J.R: Was that REALLY necessary? JHG: Uh.. Yeah. I mean listen. [[Charlie's scream soundbyte is played over and over and over again]] J.R: STOP IT! JHG: Oh... getting squimish? J.R: That's just disturbing. Anyway, the ref is still asking Charlie if he gives up. The crowd chanting his name and clapping their hands as they are trying to get Charlie to keep going. JHG: Fisher isn't liking that. He finally lets go of the hold and starts doing stomps on the back of the neck. lovely. J.R: Only you would find it lovely. Chris fisher picks up the Smooth Criminal and does a snap mare. He walks to the legs of Charlie Vahn and.. [[Crowd groans]] JHG: A clear low blow! But the ref is dismissing it. J.R: COME ON REF! You could clearly see that! JHG: Could? He DID see that. I guess this is an easy going ref. J.R: Charlie rolls out of the ring and looks like he's taking a breather. JHG: Yep, go outside, collect your marbles, get up and do it again. J.R: Fisher is being held back by the ref as Charlie Vahn rolls in and rushes Fisher WITH A TREMENDOUS SPEAR! MY GOD! JHG: You say that a lot when I'm around. J.R: Charlie Vahn giving some heavy punches to the face as Chris Fisher is having his hands up as in surrendering. JHG: What a wimp. [[In a girlie voice]] Oh I can't take pain, please you're too powerful for me. [[Normal voice]] That makes me [[plays a vomit sound byte]] very sick. J.R: So something does make you sick. How interesting. JHG: Shut up. Charlie Vahn going to the top rope. High Danger area here. J.R: Charlie Vahn is no stranger to that. JHG: FROG SPLASH AND. [[Crowd groans]] J.R: AND CHRIS FISHER GETTING HIS KNEES UP JUST AT THE LAST SPLIT SECOND! JHG: These guys are doing a lot to each other. J.R: No kidding. Chris Fisher using the ropes to bring himself up does a pin. Ref counts. 1 . . . 2 . . . . KICK OUT! JHG: Kickout by Charlie Vahn! Two and three quarters. Chris Fisher is questioning about the count. He better realize that Charlie is up. J.R: The Smooth Criminal is behind the champ waiting for him to turn around. JHG: TURN AROUND CHRIS COME ON! [BAM!] J.R: And a sudden dropkick by Chris Fisher! He was playing possum! Charlie Vahn holds his face in pain! That was something he did NOT expect! JHG: Well, if you see an opening then take it. Don't wait for something that might not come! Though I was hoping to see a look of [[People shouting "surprise" sound byte is played]] on Chris' face before he get a boot in his mouth. J.R: Whatever, anyway, Chris Fisher puts Charlie to the turnbuckle and Irish whip and.. NO! THE REF JUST GOT KNOCKED OUT! JHG: Things are gonna pick up. J.R: Chris Fisher sees the ref knocked out is climbing out of the ring and grabbed a chair! Come on! This isn't hardcore! JHG: Wanna tell them that? J.R: What don't you. JHG: Okay. [[The camera looks at Grechen grabbing his soundbox and climbing to the top rope. Chris Fisher is about to hit Charlie Vahn when The Hellraiser jumps off and slams the soundbox on top of Chris Fisher's head and it shatters]] [Ding ding] J.R: What? THE REF SAW THE WHOLE THING! HE SAW GRENCHEN SMASH HIS SOUND BOX ON CHRIS FISHER'S HEAD! Francine: And the winner as a result of disqualification.. "THE METHOD MAN" CHRIS FISHER! J.R: Chris Fisher won the match but he's not going to be celebrating it in the ring. More like the hospital. But Charlie Vahn isn't liking this result and is now in the face of the Hellraiser. [[Suddenly Jack comes back into the commentator's booth]] J.A: Did you see that? J.R: Yeah! I saw that. J.A: This is gonna be good! J.R: Charlie Vahn and the Hellraiser continue to exchange words and-- MY GOD! THE HELLRAISER JUST GAVE CHARLIE VAHN A STOMACH BREAKER! That's his set-up move for-- [BAM] J.A: FALL FROM GRACE ON CHARLIE VAHN! CHARLIE IS KNOCKED OUT! THIS IS WONDERFUL! J.R: The Hellraiser just knocked out the leader of the syndicate and took down Charlie Vahn. This is going to be a war for the I.C belt. ___________________________________________ Jim Robson: It's time for the Independence Day Rumble! Past winners include the Angel of Death going 60 minutes and Robert d'Artois, who went on to become IWF/WOW World champion. Jack Anderson: Then he went on to be a jobber! AHAHAHAHA! JR: The rules are simple. Every two minutes another wrestler will enter the ring. A wrestler is eliminated when tossed over the top rope and both his feet touch the floor. JA: Traditionally the winner of this event receives a World title shot at Summer Explosion. I understand that President Ishikawa will likely uphold that tradition. JR: Thank god he renamed Egos & Icons back to the ID Rumble. MuchMusic was threatening to sue. [DING DING DING!] Francine: THE 20 MAN OVER THE TOP ROPE INDEPENDENCE DAY RUMBLE IS NEXT! Please welcome the first two men entering the ring... ["Raise some Hell" by John Grenchen begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd cheers.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from Mistress Sonia's army standing 7 feet 3 inches and weighing 487 pounds, here is ... FATE! [Hell is comin', crackin through the sand And it's power I hold in my hand Destiny is something that you make. Not anymore prepare for a twist of fate [[Lighting bolts come from the roof striking at the same place many times as howling winds roar and bats fly around]] [I am the Hellraiser and the walls are crashing down My chaos is spreading, peace can't be found The time is coming, hear the damned bells My time is hear time to raise some hell! [[A large man wearing a black mask and black pants appears with a flash of light from the entrance. He walks not paying any attention to anything as Mistress Sonia holds his chain and walks in front of him. He walks into the ring and with one hand lifts Mistress Sonia above the ropes.]] I am the master of Terror and fear Salvation is coming as long as I am here The crops have died, something tainted the well The signs have come TIME TO RAISE SOME HELL!!!! [[He punches the ground and four lighting bolts him the four turnbuckles.]] JA: I understand the first two competitors receive a long intro but subsequent wrestlers will not. ["Boom" by the Blood Hound Gang explodes across the arena as the crowd gives a mixed reaction...] Francine: About to enter the ring, from Pittsburgh, PA... standing 6 feet 2 inches and weighing 225 pounds, here is member of the HOA... DARK BISHOP!!!!!!!!!!!! [Dark Bishop emerges from the back. His hair is soaking wet and pulled back in a pony tail. He is decked out in a black muscle shirt with the letters "HOA" on the front written in red. He poses a few times as he slowly walks to the ring, he leaps to the apron and jumps over the top rope and stands in the middle.] JR: Fate is new to the IWF/WOW and is a member of Deconstruction Inc. John Grenchen created that stable to battle the HOA. This should be very interesting. JA: The Boston Bad Boys, Concrete and James are running to the ring! What are they doign here? They begin to double-team pummel Dark Bishop! The match hasn't even started! They have him trapped in the corner and are kicking him like a soccer ball! What are they doing? JR: Kelly James has a table set up outside of the ring... BOSTON BOMB OVER THE TOP ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE!!! OH MY GOD! JA: Fate is calling for the bell! Michael Hall is intimidated and agrees to start the match! [DING DING DING!] JR: Concrete and James roll Dark Bishop back into the ring and are leaving. Fate picks up the helpless Dark Bishop. Applies a bearhug! Slams Dark Bishop to the mat. JA: He's just toying with him now. JR: Irish whip... POWER CLOTHESLINE! JA: What's the difference from a normal clothesline? JR: Ummm... Fate told me to call it a power clothesline. JA: Oh. POWER BOMB BY FATE! JR: He picks up Dark Bishop and executes a choke toss! JA: What the difference between that and a choke slam? JR: Punch to the gut by Fate. HAND OF FATE! JA: An inverted chokeslam! Dark Bishop has mounted no offence. Fate picks up Dark Bishop... HAND OF FATE OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR! Francine: DARK BISHOP HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! Francine: Now coming down the aisle....He weighes in a 220 pounds and stands at 5 feet 10 inches.....He hails from Calgary, Alberta, Canada... He is... "THE ENFORCER"......KYLE COMBS!! JA: I love it! Two stablemates are going to have to kill each other! JR: Combs climbs into the ring and is very cautious about locking up with Fate. JA: I think he's talking Fate into waiting for the next competitor to enter the ring! That'll be the most boring two minutes of wrestling time... unless you are watching a WCW Nitro main event. [Fate turns to stare at the entranceway.] JR: Combs attacks Fate from behind with a flying kneesmash! DRAGON SUPLEX! Combs is climbing the turnbuckles... SWAN DIVE HEADBUTT! Combs places Fate's leg over the bottom rope... BUTTDROP! Combs drags Fate... WISHBONE! JA: Combs with an elbow drop on the leg! He applies a spinning toehold! FATE KICKS HIM IN THE FACE! Fate back to his feet! He grabs Combs by the throat! Choke toss time! Combs is pointing at the clock? [The theme from "The Godfather" films fills the arena speakers. The sound is met with a mixed reaction from the fans.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from The Italian section of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvainia, standing 6 feet 3 inches and weighing 203 pounds, here is... The Meatmachine, Mike Marconi! JR: Combs is yelling at Fate to release him and go after Marconi. JA: Fate is the muscle of the operation, Combs is the brains. JR: Fate releases Combs and walks towards the ropes. COMBS DROPKICKS HIM FROM BEHIND! FATE GOES OVER THE TOP ROPE! JA: HE HELD ON! HIS FEET HAVEN'T TOUCHED THE GROUND YET! JR: Marconi is in and he's battling hard with Combs. Marconi whips him into the ropes... CLOTHESLINE! FATE ATTACKS MARCONI FROM BEHIND WITH A DOUBLE AXE HANDLE! Fate with a boot choke on Marconi. Combs is ordering Fate to punish Marconi. Fate picks up Marconi... BEARHUG SLAM! Combs orders Fate to line up Marconi for his top rope move. Fate with a choke toss on Marconi! JA: Combs is on the top ropes... SHOOTING STAR PRESS! Fate picks up Marconi. He's going to power bomb him over the top ropes! COMBS CLIPS FATE FROM BEHIND! Fate falls to the mat! ANKLE LOCK SUBMISSION BY COMBS ON FATE! JR: So much for being stablemates. Combs has attacked Fate at every turn. Wait! Marconi is sneaking up on Combs... TAZMISSION ON COMBS! MARCONI HAS THE TAZMISSION LOCKED ON! Fate is slow to recover... ["I'm The Man" by Nashville Pussy now begins playing throughout the arena.] # Well, I'm the man # God damn me # I'm the man # And I'm clean FRANCINE: Coming down the aisle accompanied by Katrina Leigh, from New York City, standing 6'2" and weighing in at 225 pounds... # Wake up with mah balls on fire # Sweat gasoline # When I pass by . . . TOMMMMMY GRAAAAAAAYSON!!! JA: WHAT? JR: 3 members of Deconstruction Inc.! Grayson, Combs, and Fate! Marconi is in big trouble! Grayson runs into the ring and kicks Marconi in the back of the head! JA: ELBOW DROP BY GRAYSON! KICK UP! FIST DROP BY GRAYSON! Nice combo! JR: Marconi is in big trouble. Grayson picks him up... Death Metal Driver! JA: Fate is chasing Combs! Grayson steps between them to break up their fight. He's smart enough to know they have to work together. They are shaking hands! JR: FATE GRABS COMBS BY THE THROAT! HAND OF FATE! Combs is out cold! Marconi with a face rake on Grayson! PUMP HANDLE SLAM ON GRAYSON! JA: FATE ATTACKS MARCONI! IRON CLAW! He's squashing his head like a grape! LOW BLOW KICK BY MARCONI! Grayson charges... SAMOAN DROP BY MARCONI! JR: He's fighting off all the Deconstruction Inc. members! ["Epic" by Faith no More starts playing on the P.A. System and the packed crowd come to their feet and start cheering for Johnny Sledge before he even comes out from the back.] Francine - "Coming to the ring right now... From Boston, Massachusetts... Standing 6 feet and weighing in at ace rake on Grayson! PUMP HANDLE SLAM ON GRAYSON! JA: FATE ATTACKS MARCONI! IRON CLAW! He's squashing his head like a grape! LOW BLOW KICK BY MARCONI! Grayson charges... SAMOAN DROP BY MARCONI! JR: He's fighting off all the Deconstruction Inc. members! ["Epic" by Faith no More starts playing on the P.A. System and the packed crowd come to their feet and start cheering for Johnny Sledge before he even comes out from the back.] Francine - "Coming to the ring right now... From Boston, Massachusetts... Standing 6 feet and weighing in at 230 pounds..." # Can you feel it, see it, hear it today? # If you can't, then it doesn't matter anyway # You will never understand it cuz it happens too fast # And it feels so good, it's like walking on glass # It's so cool, it's so hip, it's alright # It's so groovy, it's outta sight # You can touch it, smell it, taste it so sweet # But it makes no difference cuz it knocks you off your feet Francine - "He is The One... The Only... The Original... Johnny Sledge!!!" JA: FAG! COPYCAT! FRAUD! JR: What's your problem? JA: I hate him! JR: Fate just punched Marconi in the gut knocking the wind out of him. Irish whip... power clothesline... Marconi ducks! HE CLOTHESLINE COMBS! COMBS IS OVER THE TOP ROPE! Francine: KYLE COMBS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JA: Combs, that idiot was standing behind Fate and got nailed. Sledge is in the ring kicking Grayson and keeping him on the mat. JR: Fate and Marconi are trading punches. JA: Look at Combs. He is pissed that his stablemates didn't help him. STEVE WEST! WHAT'S HE DOING HERE! HE DROPKICKS COMBS FROM BEHIND! FACE FIRST INTO THE RING STEPS! COMBS IS BUSTED OPEN AND KNOCKED OUT! WEST IS WALKING TO THE BACK! JR: What was that about? JA: Obviously some bad blood between West and Combs. JR: Some paramedics are coming out to help out Combs. But in the ring, Fate nails Marconi with a big boot. He picks up Marconi... POWER BOMB! Sledge grabs Fate... RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! WOW! Fate is a big man! I'm surprised Sledge could execute that on him. JA: Grayson is back up. He goes after Marconi. Irish whip... SUPERKICK! Marconi falls back into the ropes. JR: Sledge whips Fate into the ropes... SPINE BUSTER! Sledge is really surprising me with his abilities. He's setting up Fate for... CORKSCREW DDT! JA: Grayson executes a Japanese armdrag on Marconi. Grayson runs into the ropes... DROPKICK TO THE FACE! That's got to hurt. Grayson is ramming Marconi's head into the turnbuckles! ["Boogie Woogie Woo" by the Insane Clown Posse begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd has a mixed reaction, the marks boo, while the smarts cheer.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from Detroit, Michigan, USA... standing 6 feet 3 inches tall and weighing in at 247 pounds, the ball lightning... F U S I O N!!!!! JA: WHAT? I thought Ishikawa was joking when he gave Fusion a spot but here he is! JR: Fusion is charging the ring! I thought Ishikawa buried him. JA: Fusion nails Grayson with a running forearm smash! He runs at Sledge... HURRICARANA! He picks up Marconi on his shoulders... REVERSE POWER BOMB! JR: Marconi lands face first! JA: Fate grabs Fusion! IRON CLAW! Marconi punches Fate in the lower back! Sledge grabs Fate's head... BRAIN BUSTER! Grayson football tackles Fusion! Marconi blasts Sledge with a DDT! ELEVATED CRAB ON SLEDGE! JR: Grayson with the Death Metal Driver on Fusion! Grayson helps up Fate. JA: He knows he needs the big guy to win. THEY DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE MARCONI! JR: FUSION NAILS FATE WITH A FOOTBALL TACKLE! HE NAILS GRAYSON WITH A LARIAT! He kicks Sledge in the gut... PILEDRIVER! THE COLLISION COURSE ON THREE GUYS! JA: That's the stupidiest name I've ever heard. Naming three moves that take forever to execute as one move? Dumb. But so is Fusion. JR: Fusion is on the top ropes... THE BOMB DROP ON GRAYSON! Fusion picks up Grayson and runs him towards the ropes! He's tossing him over! JA: NO! SLEDGE GRABS GRAYSON'S FEET AND PULLED HIM BACK IN! JR: MARCONI WITH THE DRAGON SLEEPER ON FUSION! ["Best Way To Die" by Jet Set Satellite begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd boos.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada standing 6 feet 2 inches and weighing 235 pounds, here is ... "THE FUTURE OF PRO-WRESTLING" CHRIS JOHNSON !!!! [As Chris Johnson walks out, a huge banner drops behind him. The camera pans up to the banner, showing the following: ______ __ ____ __ /\__ _\/\ \ /\ _`\ /\ \__ \/_/\ \/\ \ \___ __ \ \ \_\_\__ __\ \ _\ __ __ _ __ __ \ \ \ \ \ _ `\ /'__`\ \ \ _\/\ \/\ \\ \ \/ /\ \/\ \/\`'__\/'__`\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \/\ __/ \ \ \/\ \ \_\ \\ \ \_\ \ \_\ \ \ \//\ __/ \ \_\ \ \_\ \_\ \____\ \ \_\ \ \____/ \ \__\\ \____/\ \_\\ \____\ \/_/ \/_/\/_/\/____/ \/_/ \/___/ \/__/ \/___/ \/_/ \/____/ Johnson continues to make his way to the ring, and quickly enters it. He's wearing long black tights, and has a vest on which has "The Future" written in silver on the back.] JR: Talk about gay entrances! JA: YES! THE FUTURE! CHRIS JUR... JOHNSON! HE IS THE LAST MAN THAT WAS NEVER ANNOUNCED! JR: What? JA: Johnson was the mystery man! Dr. Stone must have been Fusion! JR: Ummm... ok. Fate attacks Johnson! Choke toss on Johnson! Sledge goes after Fate! He kicks him in the stomach. POWER BOMB BLOCKED! BACK DROP OVER THE TOP ROPE! NO! SLEDGE HOLDS ON TO THE TOP ROPES AND JUMPS BACK IN! JA: Close one for Sledge. Grayson nails Marconi with a superkick freeing Fusion from the dragon sleeper. JR: Grayson is stomping Marconi. Johnson executes a double underhook suplex on Fusion! He runs into the ropes... ASAI MOONSAULT ON FUSION! FATE NAILS JOHNSON WITH A POWER CLOTHESLINE! JA: Grayson with a boot choke on Marconi! Sledge picks up Fusion... POWER BOMB! JR: Lots of action going on. We're trying our best to keep track of all the action. JA: Grayson is biting Marconi's forehead. He's trying to bust him open. Fate picks up Johnson and executes a power bomb! Sledge applies a cross face chicken wing on Fusion! JR: That's the Sledge Lock! JA: Fate executes the Face chokeslam on Johnson! He grabs Marconi and nails him with the Bearhug slam. Grayson is telling him to hold Marconi down. Grayson scrambles to the top ropes... TOP ROPE LEGDROP! The F'n Hostile! JR: Fusion is fighting to hang on. ["Big Star" by Reel Big Fish begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd boos enormously. Boos are heard from every fan in attendance.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from Alpharetta, Georgia, USA standing 6 feet 2 inches and weighing 225 pounds, here is ... "ROMAN" TTTTTTHOMAAAAAASSSSS LAWRENCEEEEEEEE! [Lawrence is bottomed out in full Roman attire. Everything from an iron breastplate to a toga and an iron helmet. Along his side, he carries a pilam, a Roman short sword. The crowd continues to boo... no surprise. Lawrence stares around at the crowd a bit, taunting and teasing them. Then, he begins to walk down the aisle. No interaction whatsoever on the way to the ring. As he gets to the ring, he removes his Roman attire, and reveals a pair of cream colored wrestling trunks underneath. He slides in the ring.] JR: A newcomer to the IWF/WOW still trying to make a name for himself. JA: He has some potential. He executes a Russian leg sweep on Fate! He's going after the biggest man first? JR: Grayson goes to superkick Lawrence but missed! Johnson with a belly to belly suplex on Grayson! Lawrence to the corner... SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP ON GRAYSON! JA: Fate power bombs Johnson! POWER CLOTHESLINE DELIVERED ON LAWRENCE! Marconi drops an elbow on the top of Sledge's head freeing Fusion. Marconi bulldogs Sledge! JR: There are 7 men in the ring right now. Fusion sees Johnson is hurt. STANDING MOONSAULT! He picks up Johnson and places him on the top ropes... SUPERPLEX! Marconi climbs to the top ropes... SENTON BOMB ON JOHNSON! JA: Fate applies the Iron Claw on Lawrence. Sledge is being worked over by Fusion. Marconi slaps Grayson as he tosses him into the ropes... REVERSAL! SPERMICIDE! A low blow by Grayson that he calls the Spermicide! JR: Fusion jumps off the top... TORNADO DDT ON FATE! The big man is down. Lawrence with a kick to the gut of Grayson. Lawrence executes a swinging neckbreaker on Grayson! ["Guity" by Gravity Kills starts up and blares over the loudspeakers. The fans erupt and give heel heat as lights go off and white spotlights scan all over the arena and white stobe lights flash. Then a big spot light turns to the curtains.] Francine: About to come down the aisle, hailing from Chicago, Illinois standing at 6 foot 6 and weighing in at 275 pounds, The Enforcer of the Syndicate... ARMED & DANGEROUS PAUL KRUTSCH ! ! ! ! ! ! ! JA: The competition just stepped up a notch! Krutsch runs in and attacks Fate! He's going to try to eliminate him. Sledge with a back suplex on Krutsch! Fusion executes a reverse power bomb on Johnson! JR: Marconi locks on the Tazmission on Fate! JA: Grayson with an elbow drop on Johnson... kip up... Fistdrop on Johnson! Fusion charges Lawrence... HURRICARANA BY FUSION! Sledge tosses Krutsch into the ropes... SPINE BUSTER! Grayson up top... F'n Hostile on Krutsch! JR: Boy, these guys are taking lots of chances going to the top ropes. JA: They all want to win badly. JR: Sledge picks up Lawrence... Death Valley Driver! THE WRECKING BALL! LAWRENCE WENT OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR! Sledge eliminated him! Francine: THOMAS LAWRENCE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JA: He put up a decent fight. He'll continue to improve. JR: Grayson nails Krutsch with the short arm superkick! KRUTSCH FELL OVER THE TOP ROPE! Francine: PAUL KRUTSCH HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JA: He was really outnumbered with lots of heat on the Syndicate. JR: Sledge frees Fate from the Tazmission by nailing Marconi with a springboard leg drop! Grayson is going after Johnson. He picks up him up for a Death Metal Driver... Johnson rolls off behind! RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX ON GRAYSON! JA: Johnson set to suplex Grayson over the ropes. SLEDGE GRABS GRAYSON'S LEGS SAVING HIM! Johnson's momentum is carrying him backwards! FUSION NAILS JOHNSON WITH THE COLLISION COURSE! JR: There's the last of it with the piledriver. He picks up Johnson and tosses him to the floor! JA: Fate executes a power bomb on Marconi! The next man is set to enter. ["Manic Depression" by the Jimi Hendrix Experience plays. The crowd has a mixed reaction.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from the wrestling haven they call Parts Unknown, standing a 6 feet 5 inches, weighing 324 lbs, accompanied by Dan "The Man" Watterson, here is... the man who is not mentally stable, "Crazy" Brett Morgenheim! [He is wearing black wrestling tights with the back saying, "I am not normal" on the back. He is stubbled with brown hair.] JR: Dan Watterson's new partner. He attacks Fate! JA: He is nuts! Fate is a monster! Fusion double clotheslines Grayson and Sledge! JR: Morgenheim with out brawling Fate! He's taking control! Chokehold on Fate! Marconi joins in! The two of them are choking down Fate. JA: Morgenheim backs up... RUNNING CLOTHESLINE NEARLY SENDS FATE OUT! JR: Fusion nails Grayson and Sledge with a moonsault! Marconi is helping Morgenheim... INSANE CHOKESLAM BY MORGENHEIM! Marconi had to help him lift Fate. Morgenheim sets up Fate... CRAZY DRIVER! JA: That was a vicious piledriver! Marconi kicks Fate in the gut... sets him up... MEAT DRIVER! Marconi calls over Fusion. Fusion, Marconi, and Morgenheim lift up Fate... THEY TOSS HIM OUT! Francine: FATE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JR: The 7 foot 3 inch basketball player has been tossed out! JA: Too bad. Freak! Marconi picks up Grayson and tosses him into the opposite corner. Marconi launches Morgenheim into the corner! CLOTHESLINE! Fusion nails Grayson with a clothesline! Marconi goes running in. GRAYSON MOVED! JR: Kelly James is coming to ringside! JA: Johnny Sledge nails Fusion with the corkscrew DDT! Grayson with a superkick on Morgenheim! JR: James spit at Marconi! She got him in the eye! GRAYSON WITH THE SHORT ARM SUPERKICK ON MARCONI! HE FELL OVER THE TOP ROPES! Francine: MIKE MARCONI HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JA: Kelly James cost Marconi his chance! THE BOSTON BAD BOYS ARE ATTACKING MARCONI AT RINGSIDE! OFFICIALS ARE RUNNING DOWN TO SAVE HIM! JR: Marconi is lucky to escape. Concrete and James are chasing him to the back. JA: Marconi and Fate both lasted quite a long time. They drew bad numbers and had a tough road to the end. JR: The next man should be entering soon. Sledge just executed a brain buster on Morgenheim! [The crowd erupts in boos as the voice of Tricia Lane echoes though the sound system saying, "Eric's not just a great looking guy, and a great wrePINEBUSTER! He picks up Morgenheim... BRAIN BUSTER! JR: Grayson body slams Fusion. JA: Sledge executes a corkscrew DDT on Morgenheim! JR: Travers attacks Grayson! He had his back turned! BACK SUPLEX BY TRAVERS! Takedown suplex by Travers! JA: Sledge power bombs Morgenheim! He's totally dominating the Crazy one. WRECKING BALL TO THE OUTSIDE! Francine: BRETT MORGENHEIM HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JA: Sledge has been very effective with that move. JR: Travers executes a belly to belly suplex on Grayson. Sledge charges at Travers... HOT SHOT BY TRAVERS! Travers power slams Sledge. He's telling Fusion to execute the bomb drop on Sledge. Fusion is climbing the turnbuckles. TRAVERS PUSHES OUT! Fusion was facing the crowd and Travers simply pushed him out! Francine: FUSION HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JA: I can't believe Fusion fell for that! Grayson just nailed Travers with a superkick! He was waiting for Travers to turn around! Grayson with an elbowdrop... kip-up... fistdrop to the face! JR: He's motioning for someone else to come out. JA: Sledge is punching Travers as Grayson holds him. Effective double team. ["Champions" by Grinspoon play over the loudspeakers. The crowd cheers.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from Detroit, Michigan standing 6 feet 2 inches and weighing 230 pounds, here is ... JOHN VAN MANN!!! JR: One of the fan favourites. JA: He sucks. JR: SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK ON GRAYSON! CHOP TO SLEDGE! SPIN KICK ON SLEDGE! He's on fire! Tumbling front flip into a senton splash on Grayson! JA: Lots of history there between them. JVM jumps to the top rope... JUMPING SIDE KICK NAILS GRAYSON! JR: Travers turns his attention to Sledge. Whip into the ropes... DIVING ELBOW SMASH! Heel twist on the eye socket. Elbow drop! Knee drop! Falling headbutt! Travers is working him over. JA: JVM hits a corkscrew leg drop on Grayson! Van Mann has to toss him out! JR: He wants to punish Grayson. Travers sets up for a piledriver! BACKDROP BY SLEDGE! Travers charges him... SPINE BUSTER BY SLEDGE! VAN MANN DROPKICKS SLEDGE IN THE FACE! JA: Idiot! Grayson with the spermicide on Van Mann! I told you not to turn your back on Grayson! JR: Sledge is holding his nose. Travers tosses him to the ropes... SPINE BUSTER! JA: That's payback! JR: Grayson just nailed JVM with a superkick! He's going to the top ropes. Van Mann dropkicks his leg and he crotches the top ropes! Van Mann up top... TOP ROPE HURRICARANA ON GRAYSON! ["Unforgiven" by Metallica begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd cheers.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from the Northern Snowfields standing 6 feet 11 inches and weighing 347 pounds, here is ... G-R-A-V-E !!!!! [Grave appears at the beginning of the ramp. He is wearing black pants and his trademarked black, heavy, metal-plated wrestling-boots. He has an inch-long beard and long, brown hair. Grave enters the ring, jumps onto the second turnbuckle and lets out a bloodthirsty roar that shakes the entire arena.] JA: Who is this guy? JR: Recently signed with the IWF/WOW. He's another big man. JA: Fate took a long time to eliminate now they have to get rid of Grave? This could take all night! JR: Grave steps in over the top ropes. GIANT HEADBUTT ON TRAVERS! GIANT HEADBUTT ON VAN MANN! GIANT HEADBUTT ON GRAYSON! GIANT HEADBUTT ON SLEDGE! JA: WOW! His technical skills are top notch! JR: DOCTOR BOMB ON GRAYSON! JA: Ummm... you don't eliminate guys by pinfall! JR: He kicks Sledge in the gut... BRAIN BUSTER! JA: Travers sucker punches Sledge! Van Mann hits a jumping spin kick on Grave! Van Mann jumps to the top ropes... HIGH IMPACT! JR: Frog splash. NOW A VAN-MANNSAULT! JA: Split legged moonsault from the top rope. JR: Grave is in trouble. But so is Sledge. Travers has a sleeperhold locked on. JA: Van Mann goes after Grayson. Inverted rolling surfboard! JR: Sledge executes a back suplex on Travers! Great escape. JA: Grave with a giant headbutt on Van Mann frees Grayson! Grave place Van Mann on the top ropes... PAINKILLER! NO! CROSS BODY BLOCK BY VAN MANN! HE AVOIDED THE TOP ROPE BRAIN BUSTER! GRAYSON HITS THE SPERMICIDE ON GRAVE! JUMPING SIDE KICK BY VAN MANN! GRAVE FELL OUT OF THE RING! Van Mann and Grayson worked together! Francine: GRAVE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! Francine: About to enter the ring, from Round Lake Beach, Illinois standing 6 feet 3 inches and weighing 240 pounds, here is ... JEREMY STENZEL!!!! JR: Big fan reaction for Stenzel! JA: He hasn't seen much action lately. I know he had to be hurt. JR: Van Mann and Grayson are exchanging punches. Stenzel grabs Travers and begins punching him! JA: Sledge is sitting in a corner taking a break. I hate him. He has no work ethic. I don't think he could finish a job if you gave him one. Look at that lazy asshole. Ishikawa should fire him. JR: So you don't like Sledge? Stenzel body slams Travers. He drops an elbow. Grayson is on the receiving end of a Van Mann jumping side kick! JA: Stenzel executes a tornado bulldog on Travers! Sledge still hasn't moved. JR: Van Mann with a vertical suplex on Grayson. He exits the ring but returns with a slingshot dropkick! JA: Stenzel executes an atomic drop on Travers. FALLING REVERSE DDT ON TRAVERS! JR: Van Mann goes for the Van-Mannsault on Grayson! STENZEL PULLS GRAYSON OUT OF THE WAY! Stenzel with a slingshot on Grayson! Stenzel picks up Van Mann... CRADLE NECKBREAKER! JA: THAT IS ONE IMPRESSIVE MOVE! JR: SLEDGE APPLIES THE SLEDGE LOCK ON STENZEL! JA: THAT COWARD ATTACKED HIM FROM BEHIND! JR: Travers is back up. He executes a T-bone suplex on Van Mann! He probably broke his neck! ["The Theme From Halloween" from the John Carpenter horror classic begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd gets on their feet, and gives a standing ovation to their favorite certifiably insane wrestler.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from The State Of Confusion... standing six feet six inches tall, and weighing two hundred and eighty pounds, here is ... J A M E S M O N O S S O ! ! ! JA: Speaking about guys with broke necks! He broke his neck because there's nothing in his head. JR: Huh? JA: Monosso has a chair! He's bringing a chair into the ring with him! JR: Monosso slides into the middle of the ring. MONOSSO BLASTS TRAVERS WITH THE CHAIR! MONOSSO NAILS SLEDGE ON THE HEAD! GRAYSON GETS A CHAIR SHOT TO THE BACK! STENZEL GETS THE TASTE OF THE COLD CHAIR OVER HIS HEAD! JA: MONOSSO HAS NEVER BEEN THIS AGGRESSIVE BEFORE! JR: Now Monosso is just standing in the middle of the ring! He's not attacking anyone! He's just standing there! JA: Travers charges him! CHAIR SHOT TO THE HEAD! TRAVERS IS DOWN! No one is getting close to Monosso. JR: Grayson attacks Van Mann! Eye rake! Rope burn! Russian Leg sweep! Sledge tries to get by the chair of Monosso! [WHACK!] JA: No luck! Grayson is smart. Leave Monosso alone and beat up someone else. JR: Grayson executes a slingshot elbow drop on Van Mann. SPRINGBOARD KNEEDROP ON JVM! JA: Travers grabs Sledge... GERMAN SUPLEX! MONOSSO HITS SLEDGE IN THE STOMACH WITH THE CHAIR! Stenzel attacks Monosso from behind! Monosso reverses the belly to back suplex... SANITARIUM SUPLEX ON THE CHAIR! JR: A great back drop driver! JA: Travers with a running power slam on Sledge. JR: Grayson is on the top rope... FLYING CLOTHESLINE ON JVM! JA: Travers executes a Northern lights suplex on Sledge! JR: The next man to enter should be out here soon. Maybe he will have some luck against Monosso. JA: Travers is joining Grayson on his attack on Van Mann. Double vertical suplex! JR: Stenzel is clotheslined by Travers and Grayson! ["THE HEAT IS ON" by GLENN FREY begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd boos.] Francine: About to enter the ring, formerly from Montreal, Quebec, now residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, standing 6 feet 1 inches and weighing 242 pounds, here is ... "THE ROCKET" RICHARD BLAIR!!!!! JA: The King of farts! I mean the Jack of Offs! I mean the Queen of Spades! JR: The Rocket jumps over the top rope to enter the ring and raises his arms and woos! JA: I've never seen that before! He should be the number one contender! He cuts great promos! I remember that last one... ummm... 4 weeks ago! It was killer! He killed a ton of people by boring them to death! JR: Blair attacks Travers! Dropkick to the back of the head! Blair clotheslines Grayson! Blair nails Stenzel with a tornado DDT! Snap suplex on Sledge! Blair looks well rested JA: He hasn't done anything in months so I guess he's rested! JR: He's going for a moonsault! MONOSSO NAILS HIM ACROSS THE BACK! BLAIR FELL TO THE FLOOR! HE'S BEEN ELIMINATED! Francine: RICHARD BLAIR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JA: Blair had a lot of offence but he forgot or rather was too scared to attack Monosso that cost him. JR: Travers is press slamming Van Mann! MONOSSO HITS TRAVERS ACROSS THE BACK! HE SAVED VAN MANN! Van Mann nails Sledge with a handspring elbow! JR: Grayson is leaning against the ropes... JOHN VAN MANN WITH A CROSS BODY BLOCK! BOTH MEN ARE FALLING OUT! JOHNNY SLEDGE GRABS GRAYSON'S LEGS! JOHN VAN MANN HITS THE FLOOR! Francine: JOHN VAN MANN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JR: One of the favourites to win! MONOSSO JUST EXECUTED THE SPIRAL INTO MADNESS ON A CHAIR! STENZEL IS BADLY HURT! JA: Anyone's game now. EXCEPT JOHNNY SLEDGE! JR: He tried to pull Grayson back in and Monosso whacked him with the chair sending him over and out! SLEDGE IS GONE AND GRAYSON HUNG ON TO THE ROPES AND ROLLED BACK IN! Francine: JOHNNY SLEDGE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JR: He lasted longer than I would have ever thought possible for a newcomer. ["ONE" by METALLICA begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd cheers.] Francine: About to enter the ring, standing 6 feet 5 inches and weighing 280 pounds, here is ... "HOLLYWOOD" JOE VERTIGO!!!!! JA: His TNM buddy, John Van Mann was just eliminated so he doesn't have any friends in there. JR: Only two men left to enter. Magnus Colby and Dan Watterson. Grayson, Travers, Stenzel, Monosso and Vertigo are in the ring. JA: Vertigo executes a reverse brain buster on Stenzel! Grayson attacks Vertigo from behind! Double axe handle to the back! Reverse neckbreaker by Grayson! JR: Travers executes a snap suplex on Stenzel. These men are exhausted. Vertigo and Monosso are the only two that look fairly fresh. Grayson was the fifth man in the Rumble and he's still hanging in there. JA: Grayson nails Vertigo with the spermicide low blow! Travers hits the diving elbow on Vertigo! Monosso swings his chair at Grayson but misses! JR: Monosso doesn't want anyone coming near him. JA: Travers picks up Vertigo... PILEDRIVER! Grayson executes the Death Metal Driver on Vertigo! JR: Vertigo is taking a lot of punishment! Grayson goes to toss him out! VERTIGO HANGS ON TO THE ROPES! MONOSSO NAILS GRAYSON WITH THE CHAIR! TRAVERS IS BEHIND MONOSSO! T-BONE SUPLEX ON MONOSSO! Stenzel has Grayson... TORTURE RACK DIAMOND CUTTER ON GRAYSON! Stenzel falls to the ground exhausted. JA: Everyone is down. Vertigo gets to his feet first. DOUBLE UNDERHOOK INTO A PILEDRIVER ON TRAVERS! Stenzel runs at Vertigo... SAMOAN DROP! JR: Monosso has his chair and is sitting in the corner avoiding people. JA: He's smarting than he looks. JR: Vertigo lifts up Grayson in a gorilla press... INTO A STUNNER! JA: MORON! YOU SHOULD TOSS HIS ASS OUT! ["Enter Sandman" by Mettalica blares over the PA as the crowd comes to it's feet letting out a large boo as they do so.] Francine: He stands 6'6" and weighs in at 275 pounds. He hails from Chicago, Illionois, he is a TWO TIME IWF/WOW TAG TEAM CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!! HALL OF FAMER MAGNUS COLBY!!! JR: Colby is walking slowly to the ring. He's in no hurry. JA: He's won this thing. Watterson will be last man out. JR: Colby enters the ring and sees the bodies all laid out. Colby sets up Travers in a German suplex?! JA: What's he doing? That's his partner! JR: Vertigo has Grayson in a Samoan Drop! COLBY DROPS TRAVERS AND KICKS VERTIGO IN THE GUT! END GAME! THAT'S A STUNNER! Colby picks up Vertigo by the hair and executes the widow maker! JA: A crucifix bomb into a neckbreaker! JR: Monosso is taking something out of his trunks! JA: THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW! JR: Stenzel executes a tornado bulldog on Colby! Travers and Grayson attack Stenzel and drag him to a corner to stomp him. JA: Vertigo has Colby in a full nelson! Monosso has something in his hands... HE THREW SALT AT COLBY! HE DUCKED! VERTIGO HAS SALT IN HIS EYES! JR: DID MONOSSO MEAN TO DO THAT?! JA: Colby clothesline Vertigo over the top rope! Francine: JOE VERTIGO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JR: Monosso has snapped! He blasts Colby across the back with the chair! Colby is down! Monosso grabs Travers... Straitjacket Bomb on the chair! JA: Grayson is working over Stenzel in the corner. MONOSSO NAILS HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR! JR: Monosso picks him up... THE GET-OUT-OF-HERE INTO THE CROWD! Francine: TOMMY GRAYSON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JA: Geez! One of the men I thought would have a 99% chance of winning. JR: Monosso's chair is the difference right now. Monosso is choking Colby with the chair! JA: DQ him! Oh wait... never mind. I like my job. JR: Stenzel is pounding Travers. FALLING REVERSE DDT ON TRAVERS! Stenzel is climbing the turnbuckles... MONOSSO TOSSES HIS BOOT AT HIM! HE HIT STENZEL IN THE HEAD! STENZEL FALLS TO THE OUTSIDE! JA: BOOT TO THE HEAD! AHAHAHA! Francine: JEREMY STENZEL HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JR: I'm surprised Monosso would eliminate Stenzel. JA: He's an idiot. He doesn't know what he is going to do. JR: Monosso executes a Straitjacket Bomb on Colby! ["Dream On" by Aerosmith begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd boos.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from Philadelphia, PA standing 6 feet 2 inches and weighing 229 pounds, here is ... Dan "The Man" Watterson! JA: The last man to enter the Rumble. He gets the sweet 20th spot and there are only four men in the ring. JR: Watterson with a dropkick to the face of Travers! Kick to the head of Travers! Kneelift to the head of Travers! Head into the turnbuckle! Watterson is trying to knock out Travers. JA: Monosso picks up Colby... Hangman! JR: Colby can submit and he would not be eliminated. JA: You're right! Monosso is an idiot! JR: Watterson with a ropeburn on Travers. Inverted atomic drop on Travers! He grabs Travers' head... TORNADO DDT! Watterson picks up the chair to hit Travers! JA: MONOSSO RELEASES COLBY AND EXECUTES THE SANITARIUM SUPLEX ON WATTERSON! JR: I guess no one can touch his chair. Monosso with the Spiral Into Madness on Watterson! Colby is talking to Travers. JA: About time they worked on strategy. JR: DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE ON MONOSSO! Travers and Colby are stomping on Monosso! Travers picks up Watterson... T-BONE SUPLEX! He sets him up for the Epic Ending! Colby turns attention to Watterson... WIDOW MAKER! JA: The crucifix powerbomb into a neckbreaker! JR: Watterson is out cold! Colby applies the dream maker on Monosso! His version of the cobra clutch! JA: Travers continues to kick Monosso. I think Monosso is the next man to go! JR: Watterson is up! I can't believe it! He's the top turnbuckle... MOONSAULT BODY BLOCK NAILS TRAVERS! Watterson off the ropes... LARIAT NAILS COLBY! HE FREED MONOSSO! JA: I guess he doesn't want to fight Colby and Travers by himself. JR: Watterson is back on the top turnbuckle signalling for the flying body press, his finisher. He jumps... AT MONOSSO! THE GET-OUT-OF-HERE! MONOSSO TOSSED WATTERSON OVER THE TOP ROPES INTO THE CROWD! Francine: DAN WATTERSON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JR: Watterson is in the crowd! Monosso caught him in mid-air and tossed him out of there. JA: Monosso puts his boot back on. Elbow smash to the head of Colby! EYE POKE TO TRAVERS! Chop to the chest! RUNNING CLOTHESLINE ON COLBY! FOOTBALL TACKLE ON TRAVERS! Monosso picks up Travers for the Get-Out-Of-Here! COLBY WHACKS HIM WITH THE CHAIR TO THE BACK! JR: Monosso forgot about his own chair and Colby nailed him! Colby picks up Monosso... BODY SLAM ON THE CHAIR! He sets up the chair... GERMAN SUPLEX ON THE CHAIR! MONOSSO'S HEAD HIT THE SEAT OF THE CHAIR! JA: Raven, eat your heart out! JR: Travers picks up Monosso and tells Colby to stand on the apron. JA: I don't like the looks of this. JR: HOT SHOT BY TRAVERS! COLBY NAILS MONOSSO WITH THE CHAIR JUST AS HE HIT THE ROPES! Colby climbs back in. JA: I knew that would work! JR: Ishikawa's choice as the guest referee in the main event may not make it there the way COoby and Travers are working together. JA: Travers with a dragon suplex! Colby places the chair in the middle of the ring... DDT ON THE CHAIR! Travers picks up Monosso... BACKBREAKER ON THE CHAIR! JR: Colby folds the chair... Travers goes to the top turnbuckle... SPIKE PILEDRIVER ON THE CHAIR! Colby and Travers grab Monosso by the hair and toss him over the top rope! MONOSSO FELL ON THE APRON! HE GRABBED THE TOP ROPE! JA: TRAVERS AND COLBY DON'T SEE HIM! They're discussing what to do as the final two men! JR: SANITARIUM SUPLEX ON COLBY! Monosso snuck up on him! JA: Travers puts an end to Monosso's offence with a boot to the ribs! Irish whip into the corner! Shoulder charge by Travers! Travers is signalling for the Epic Ending! JR: He executes the slingshot suplex... MONOSSO GRABBED THE CAMERA AND SMASHED TRAVERS IN THE FACE WITH IT! [REPLAY: Travers picks up Monosso and executes the slingshot suplex but in mid-air Monosso grabs the cameraman's camera with his free arm and hits Travers in the face before he dropped Monosso into the stunner.] JA: WHY WAS THE CAMERAMAN STANDING SO CLOSE TO THE ACTION?! THIS ISN'T WCW! JR: Travers is busted open! JA: Monosso is holding his ribs. Colby with a German suplex on Monosso! Colby is signalling for the Widow maker. JR: The crucifix powerbomb into the stunner... he has Monosso up... MONOSSO SLIDES OFF COLBY'S BACK AND PUSHES HIM INTO TRAVERS! MAGNUS COLBY JUST PUSHED TRAVERS OUT OF THE RING! JA: NO! NO! WORK TOGETHER! OH DAMMIT! Francine: ERIC TRAVERS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! JR: The 12th man in is the 18th man out! Travers looked good but his own partner accidently knocked him over the top rope. JA: Yeah... it was an accident... okay... ummm... Colby wanted Travers to remain... UEW rules... can I get a job there? JR: Colby isn't guaranteed a win! JA: MONOSSO WITH ENZUIGIRI ON COLBY! Irish whip... LARIAT! Monosso grabs Colby's hair... RAMS HIS HEAD INTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! Crowd: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10! JA: These morons can count! The United Stateican learning system is the bestest in the Earth! JR: YOU'RE AMERICAN! JA: I am? JR: Monosso with an Airplane spin into a Facebuster! The Spiral Into Madness! He covers? He's counting the pinfall? JA: What's his problem? JR: Monosso is jumping up and down as if he won by pinfall! JA: Maybe he thinks the last fall is a pinfall. JR: Colby grabs the chair... HE NAILS MONOSSO FROM BEHIND! He picks up Monosso... POWER BOMB! JA: Monosso is getting back up?! JR: Colby can't believe it! He kicks Monosso in the ribs! END GAME! Monosso is down and out! Colby grabs him by the hair! HE TOSSES MONOSSO OVER THE TOP ROPE! JA: COLBY WINS! UEW! UEW! UEWIWFWOW! JR: WHAT? Monosso held onto the top rope! He's on the ring apron! He never touched the floor! JA: COLBY TURN AROUND! [Magnus Colby hears Anderson and turns around.] JR: Colby sees Monosso on the apron and charges to knock him off! SHOULDER TO THE MID-SECTION BY MONOSSO! WAIT! NO! NO! VERTICAL SUPLEX FROM THE RING APRON! MONOSSO SUPLEXED COLBY OVER THE TOP ROPE! JA: MONOSSO ELIMINATED HIMSELF! HE LOST! HE WAS OVER THE TOP ROPES FIRST! JR: NO! COLBY'S FEET TOUCH THE GROUND! LOOK! MONOSSO HAD HIS LEGS BETWEEN THE SECOND AND BOTTOM ROPES! HE'S HANGING UPSIDE DOWN TANGLED IN THE ROPES! HE NEVER FELL TO THE GROUND! Francine: THE WINNER OF THE INDEPENDENCE DAY RUMBLE IS JAMES MONOSSO!!! JA: Someone get a ruling on this! Colby won! JR: No time to hear your ranting and raving... Monosso has the ring mic. James Monosso: "Nineteen down... two to go! THEN I'll be the real winner. Then it will TRULY be an Independence Day... my independence! My independence from morality! My independence from civility! My independence from demonic influences! And most importantly... my independence... from all of you. And you'd have to be INSANE to think otherwise!" JA: I'm starting to like this guy... yeah right! JR: Monosso is headed to the back. He'll have to clean up quick because he's the special guest referee for the main event. And he will be facing the winner at Summer Explosion 2000! ___________________________________________ Jim Robson: Alright fans, this is it!! It's just about time for the Main Event lumberjack match between World Champion "Razor" Ron Jeremy and Hades. Jack Anderson: And what an interesting twist this match has taken tonight. We will now have just 10 lumberjacks, HOA and Destruction Inc, as well as the No HOA Club. Add to that newly appointed special guest referee James Monosso, and we have a a potentially explosive match on our hands. Jim Robson: As if the hatred that Hades and RRJ have for each other wasn't enough already. We're about ready to begin, so let's go up to Francine for the introductions. Francine: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is a LUMBERJACK MATCH FOR THE IWF/WOW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! [Crowd POPS] Francine: Making their way to the ring are the lumberjacks for this matchup. Dark Bishop, "Meatmachine" Mike Marconi, "Hellraiser" John Grenchen, "Moral Degeneracy" Tommy Grayson, "Enforcer" Kyle Combs, John Van Mann, The Prophet, Cooper Concrete, "Headhunter" Richard James, and "Smooth Criminal" Charlie Vahn!! [The lumberjacks all walk seperately to the ring, and then go to either side of the ring. The No HOA Club sticking together, as do the HOA and Destruction Inc.] ["The Theme From Halloween" from the John Carpenter horror classic begins to play over the loudspeakers. The crowd gets on their feet, and gives a loud mixed reaction to the certifiably insane wrestler.] Francine: About to enter the ring, from The State Of Confusion... the Special Guest Referee... J A M E S M O N O S S O ! ! ! [James Monosso peeks through the curtain and then slinks out grinning. He then slowly walks down the aisle, smiling and pointing at the fans and their signs. Monosso is a tall man, wearing what looks like an old-style striped prison shirt, with the sleeves ripped off. The word "REF" is scrawled on it in crimson, in fact, it looks like dried blood! Striped shorts and sneakers complete the attire. The crowd is standing on edge with a hot reaction for the unpredictable Monosso, as a circular light pattern is projected over the arena... light blue concentric circles, centering on Monosso, and rotating at varying speeds... it gives people a headache just looking at it. Monosso slowly rolls into the ring, and comes to rest in the corner, seated on the canvas, waiting for the competitors.] Jim Robson: After winning the ID Rumble, Monosso's choice as guest referee makes this really interesting! ["Under" by Filter begins blasting over the PA.] Francine: About to enter the ring is the challenger, from Pittsburgh, PA standing 6 feet 3 inches and weighing 254 pounds, here is ... HADES!!!!! [Hades goes through the curtain and then walks down the aisle. No fancy lights, no fireworks, no lasers, just Hades. He looks determined as he walks down to ringside. He is wearing black boots with the word "HADES" written in gold lettering down the side of each of them. Black kneepads with gold-colored flames on them. And black trunks with the word "Wrestling" on the front of them in gold lettering, and the word "GOD" written across the ass end in gold lettering. As he steps between the ropes, he stops midway to yell at a few officials at ringside before finally getting into the ring. He immediately walks over to the referee and begins yelling at and harassing him. He seems to get bored with the ref and jumps up on the turnbuckle, raising his hands to the crowd to a chorus of cheers. He then jumps back down and chases the ref around some more.] PA: CUZ RON IS GOD, AND GOD IS RON!!!!! ["Daterape" by Sublime begins to play over the loudspeakers, and the crowd pops!] Francine: About to enter the ring, hailing From Beverly Hills, California, U.S.A., standing 6 foot 3 inches and weighing in at 280 pounds, here is THE IWF/WOW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... R A Z O R R O N J E R E M Y ! ! ! [Razor Ron Jeremy peeps slowly through the curtain and then jumps down the aisle. He breaks out that famous grin and starts dancing ska and laughing like crazy for no apparent reason. He's making faces to the crowd and laughing at them as he looks really foolish, but the fans get a kick out of it. RRJ has on loose grey sweatpants and a torn up black T-shirt with a picture Ren & Stimpy on it, white wrestling shoes, kneepads, elbowpads, wrist tape, and the big golden IWF/WOW World title belt around his waist. "Ron is God and everyone else sucks", "Where can I find some Bootie?" and "Ron is God, but needs help!" signs. After a few seconds, RRJ feels the urge to sing the lyrics to his song.] RRJ: SHE DIDN'T WANT TO, HE HAD HIS WAY, SHE SAID LET'S GO, HE SAID...."RRJ!" C'MON BABE IT'S YOUR LUCK DAY, DADADADADADADADAY. HHHEEEEEHEHEHEEHEEEHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!! [RRJ gets in the ring, and starts to hit his head on the turnbuckle, then he stands up on it, throws his fists in the air, and gives a big grin to the crowd; then starts to laugh again...aw dammit. After a big pop, he runs down to ringside grabbing something out from underneath the apron, and sticks what appears to be Bootie onto the turnbuckle. He sits down in the corner to examine if his fingernails need a trimming.] Jim Robson: Both combatants are in the ring, and I think Monosso is ready to signal for the bell... [DING!!! DING!!! DING!!!] Jim Robson: There's the bell, and this title match is underway. RRJ and Hades walk to center ring and go nose to nose. I'd love to know what they're saying to each other. Jack Anderson: Hades is saying something coherant, and RRJ is probably reciting a recipe or something else that has nothing to do with wrestling. Jim Robson: RRJ must have said something Hades didn't like, because the challenger just shoved the champion!! RRJ shoves Hades back!! Right hand by Hades!! Right hand by RRJ!! Look at these two wail on each other with the right hands!!! Jack Anderson: Jeremy starting to get the advantage, as he staggers Hades back to the ropes. Jim Robson: There's a clothesline!! Hades goes over the top rope, and to the floor!! He landed in friendly territory though, right in front of Dark Bishop and Marconi. Here come The No HOA Club!! WE HAVE A HUGE BRAWL ON THE OUTSIDE!!! Jack Anderson: Hades better get out of there, or he could get hurt!! Jim Robson: Hades rolls back into the ring, and is stomped on by the champion!! RRJ grabs Hades by the head... LOW BLOW BY HADES!!!! RRJ goes down, and Monosso is admonishing Hades for his actions!! Jack Anderson: Look at Monosso. Like he wouldn't do the same thing. Jim Robson: Hades grabs Jeremy and lifts him to his feet. Hades scoops RRJ up and slams him to the mat. Hades drops an elbow across the chest of the champion. Hades back up, and he grabs RRJ's legs... STOMP TO THE GROIN AREA!!! Jack Anderson: That draws some applause from the "pro-Hades" side of the ring. Jim Robson: Hades lifts RRJ and throws him over the top rope and right at the feet of new North American Champion "Hellraiser" John Grenchen!! GRENCHEN JUST STOMPED ON RRJ!!! DARK BISHOP AND MARCONI JOIN IN!!! Monosso is yelling at them to get RRJ back in the ring, and the No HOA club are over to break this up!! Vahn and James help RRJ to his feet, and offer some encouragement as they roll him into the ring. Jack Anderson: And when you say roll... Jim Robson: Funny. Hades is there waiting and lifts RRJ to his feet... HEAD AND ARM SUPLEX!!! Hades with a cover, and Monosso is in position! 1 . . . . . 2 . . . Jeremy kicks out!! Jack Anderson: Fair count by Monosso. Jim Robson: Hades lifts Ron Jeremy and whips him into the corner!! Hades charges in and gets caught with a boot to the face!!! Hades staggers backwards... AND IS DROPPED WITH A LARIAT BY RRJ!!! Jack Anderson: Monosso needs to step in there!! That was an illegal clothesline!!! Jim Robson: A what? Jack Anderson: You heard me!! Jim Robson: RRJ lifts Hades and whips him into the ropes... STUN GUN!!! Hades dropped throat first across the top rope, and he's down!! RRJ with a cover!! 1 . . . . . 2 . . . Hades kicks out!! Jack Anderson: Monosso shouldn't even have counted. That move is just wrong!! Jim Robson: Would you be saying that if Hades used that move? Jack Anderson: Of course. Jim Robson: RRJ lifts Hades and whips him into the ropes... RRJ WITH A CLOTHESLINE... HADES ducks and slides out of the ring!! Hades turns and sees Richard James ready to drop him!! Hades rolls back into the ring and turns to yell at James... RRJ FROM BEHIND... BACK SUPLEX!!! RRJ with a cover!! 1 . . . . . 2 . . . . . Hades kicks out!!! Jack Anderson: C'mon Monosso do your job!!! Keep that freak away from Hades!!! Jim Robson: You're unreal sometimes Jack. I didn't hear you say a word when 3 guys were stomping on Ron Jeremy. RRJ lifts Hades and sets him up... PUMP HANDLE SLAM!!!! RRJ heads to the corner and climbs to the second rope... BODY SPLASH!!!! A COVER!!! 1 . . . . . 2 . . . . 3!!!!! NO!!! Hades was able to get his shoulder up!!! Jack Anderson: Not many people could survive a splash from that tub of goo RRJ!! Jim Robson: RRJ lifts Hades and whips him into the ropes... RRJ gets kicked in the chest for telegraphing a back body drop... FACEBUSTER BY HADES!!! Jack Anderson: Great counter. Jim Robson: RRJ slowly to his feet... Hades cocks hi right hand... MONSOSSO GRABS HADES ARM AND STOPS HIM FROM THROWING A PUNCH!! Jack Anderson: What the hell is he doing? Who does he think he is? Jim Robson: He's the referee and he stopped Hades from throwing a closed fist. They _are_ _illegal_ you know. Jack Anderson: You're a funny guy Robson. Jim Robson: Hades is yelling at Monosso, and RRJ is right behind him... Hades turns... RIGHT INTO A RIGHT HAND FROM RRJ, AND DOWN GOES HADES!! Jack Anderson: Warn him Monosso!! Be consistant!! Jim Robson: To his credit Monosso is doing just that. RRJ grabs Hades... HADES GRABS RRJ'S TRACK PANTS AND PULLS HIM FACE FIRST THROUGH THE ROPES AND TO THE FLOOR!!! Jack Anderson: Great move!! Jim Robson: Grayson, Grenchen, Combs, Dark Bishop and Marconi are pounding on RRJ on the outside!!! The No HOA Club are over, and they attack the HOA and Destruction Inc!!! WE HAVE A WILD BRAWL GOING ON OUTSIDE THE RING!!! ALL 10 LUMBERJACKS ARE PAIRED OFF AND HAMMERING EACH OTHER WITH ALL THEY'VE GOT!!! Jack Anderson: This is kinda cool. It's like bonus action. Jim Robson: Monosso is out of the ring, trying to get some control. RRJ rolls in, and is met by Hades... WHAT'S THIS?? "Professor" Steve West is out, and he's in the ring!!! Hades looks over at West who gives him a nod and stomps on RRJ!!! Hades shakes hands with West. I guess they're putting aside what happened a few weeks back to get RRJ!! Jack Anderson: I always liked West deep down. Jim Robson: The two men lift RRJ... WEST NAILS HADES WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK!!!! West lifts Hades... CRADLE PILEDRIVER!!!! West is getting out of the ring, and is headed over this way!! Jack Anderson: I don't like him any more!! [Steve West sits down beside Robson and puts on a set of headphones] Jim Robson: Steve, why the hell would you attack Hades and not RRJ? It is RRJ you feuded with and you offered to make amends with Hades. Steve West: Why? It is nothing personal against Hades. WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME. Hades should be champ right now, and this time it probably is my fault. But you see, Hades as World Champ would make Chad happy and let him control more $$. I did this to spite Chad. So RRJ, this was like winning a lottery for ya. You are champ right this second because I let you. Finish the match and let Chad just crap his pants that you are still champ. But rest assured RRJ, payback is a bitch and I want a title shot. Boys, it is has been nice, but there is a limo waiting for me. I have a lecture to deliver tomorrow and I must catch my flight. [West leaves the announcer's table] Jack Anderson: He attacked Hades to spite Chad Ishikawa? Why would anyone want to spite that fine man!? Jim Robson: Monosso has warned all of the lumberjacks, and appears to have successfully seperated them. He never saw West, but he does see RRJ drape his arm over Hades!! 1 . . . . . 2 . . . . . 3!!!! NO HADES KICKED OUT!!! Jack Anderson: West's plan failed. Thank Goodness!! Jim Robson: Hades may have kicked out, but West definately did some damage. RRJ lifts Hades... Hades with a punch to the stomach, followed quickly by a European Uppercut!! Thumb to the eye by Hades has RRJ reeling... FRONT FACE SLAM BY HADES!!! Hades lifts RRJ and puts him in a side headlock... RUNNING BULLDOG!!!! A cover!! 1 . . . . . 2 . . . . . 3!! NO!!!! RRJ kicked out!!! Jack Anderson: Quit saying three will ya? There's no point saying three unless there's a pinfall. Did you used to say "scores" even when there wasn't a goal, when you called NHL games? Jim Robson: Sorry Jack, but they're close calls, and calling wrestling's different than hockey. Jack Anderson: But I could see where you might get confused. I mean, a lot of those hockey players are ugly bastards with no teeth, just like "Razor" Ron Jeremy. Jim Robson: Hades lifts RRJ and whips him into the ropes... DROPKICK!!! Hades lifts RRJ to his feet and into a fireman's carry... DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!!!! A cover!!! 1 . . . . . 2 . . . . . RRJ kicks out!!! Jack Anderson: Hades is upset, he wants a faster count!! Jim Robson: The count has been the same both ways. Hades lifts RRJ and sets him up for a Northern Lights suplex... DDT BY RRJ!!!!! Jack Anderson: Ah crap!! Jim Robson: RRJ slowly gets to his feet, and lifts Hades... Scoop by RRJ, and he slams Hades upside down on the turnbuckle!! RRJ hooks Hades feet... RRJ HAS HADES IN THE TREE OF WOE!!! RRJ BACKS INTO THE OPPOSITE CORNER AND CHARGES IN WITH A DOUBLE KNEE TO THE CHEST AREA!!!! Jack Anderson: This can't be legal!!! Jim Robson: RRJ backs away again... DARK BISHOP HOOKED RRJ'S LEG AND STOPPED HIM FROM CHARGING IN AGAIN!!! RICHARD JAMES IS OVER AND HE ATTACKS DARK BISHOP!!!! Jack Anderson: Get that freak away from Dark Bishop!!! Jim Robson: On the other side of the ring, Marconi has unhooked Hades from the Tree of Woe!! RRJ goes over and lifts Hades... He sets him up... THE HEDGEHOG!!!!!!!!!!! RRJ grabs Bootie!!! Monosso is trying to seperate James and Bishop!! BOOTIE CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RRJ COVERS!!!!!!!!! Jack Anderson: Monosso is looking the other way!!! Now he turns and sees the cover!! Jim Robson: Monosso with the count!!!! 1 . . . . . 2 . . . . . 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!! HADES KICKED OUT!!!!!!!! Jack Anderson: The fight outside the ring gave Hades just enough time to recover enough to kick out!! Jim Robson: RRJ looks to be in shock!! He lifts Hades and sits him on the top rope. RRJ climbs to the second rope and sets Hades up... PUNCH TO THE STOMACH BY HADES!!! HADES SHOVES RRJ OFF THE SECOND ROPE!!! Jack Anderson: I'm surprised the ring survived that fall! Jim Robson: FLYING ELBOWDROP BY HADES!!!! Hades lifts RRJ, and whips him into the corner... REVERSED... HADES RUNS RIGHT INTO JAMES MONOSSO!!! RRJ with a clothesline!!! Ducked by Hades!!!! WIDOWMAKER!!!!!!!! HADES WITH A COVER, BUT MONOSSO IS DOWN!!! Now Monosso slowly moves over and counts!!!! 1 . . . . . . . . . . 2 . . . . . . . . . . 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RRJ GOT HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!!! MONOSSO IS SIGNALLING A TWO COUNT!!!! Jack Anderson: That was SO close!!! Jim Robson: Now _Hades_ looks like he's in shock!!! Again, RRJ had a little extra time to recover, and made the most of it!! Jack Anderson: He's lucky he was near the ropes!!! Jim Robson: Hades climbs the ropes... He leaps with a flying legdrop!!! MISSES!!!!!!!! Jack Anderson: That was not a Hades trademark, he must be getting a little frustrated!! Jim Robson: RRj, slowly to his feet, as is Hades. Kick to the stomach by RRJ... JACK KNIFE POWERBOMB!!!!!! HERE'S A COVER!!!! 1 . . . . . 2 . . . . . HADES KICKS OUT!!! Jack Anderson: Thank You!! Jim Robson: Be a little more biased Jack. RRJ lifts Hades and scoops him up... BACKBREAKER!!! RRJ lifts Hades again. RRJ sets Hades up... Inverted Atomic Drop!!! RRJ lifts Hades and scoops him up over his shoulder... RUNNING POWERSLAM!!!! 1 . . . . . 2 . . . . . 3 NO!!!! HADES KICKS OUT ONE MORE TIME!!! Jack Anderson: That was close!! Jim Robson: RRJ lifts Hades and whips him into the ropes... HADES CATCHES RRJ WITH A DIVING ELBOW!!!! Hades lifts RRJ and whips him into the ropes... REVERSED... SPINEBUSTER BY RRJ!!!!! RRJ is going to his corner!! HE HAS BOOTIE AGAIN!!! BOOTIE CALL!!!!!!!!!!! HADES DUCKED THE SHOT!!! WIDOWMAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE COVER BY HADES!!!!!! 1 . . . . . 2 . . . . . 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [DING!!! DING!!! DING!!!] Jack Anderson: YES!!!!! Jim Robson: HADES HAS DONE IT!! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!!! Francine: The winner of this bout, and NEW IWF/WOW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, HADES!!!!!!!!!!!! [There is mainly negative reaction from the crowd as "Under" by Filter plays.] Jim Robson: Monosso has the title belt to give to Hades... MONOSSO LEVELS RRJ WITH THE BELT!!!! MONOSSO GRABS RRJ... MINDBENDER!!!! Jack Anderson: Heh heh heh. Jim Robson: That was uncalled for. Hades is smiling as Monosso hands him the title and raises his arms... MONOSSO CLOTHESLINES HADES!!!! MINDBENDER FOR HADES AS WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Monosso just leaving the ring now as The HOA and The No HOA Club enter the ring. What a match, what a night!!!