TUMOR HUMOR
Hello everyone!
So much of what we read and experience is negative and bad. But, to survive happily, we all need to recognize the positive.
A while back (a year? Two? Who remembers!?), I asked the question...
Did anything humorous happen out of all of this??? Something did, I am sure.
Tell us; it's time for a chuckle!
I remember during my stay in the hospital, when I was in a wheelchair, I rolled up to an elevator. The elevator was full of people, and there was no room for me - let alone the wheelchair. I spoke up, "OK, Somebody has to leave - I'm a brain patient here". Sure enough, several people left the elevator...I wheeled myself in, and went about my business.
Bruce
"Good Heart, Bad Brain"
I've been tempted to start a thread about 'tumor humor' (The ultimate oxymoron) It's easier to get through the day if you can find something to chuckle about.
I still find some humor in the day when my young niece gathered up her neighborhood friends to tell them about her uncle with two belly buttons. They all stood in silence and looked at me. No one dared to asked to see the famous navals. I didn't volunteer, fearing that some parent might accuse me of being a flasher. They'll just have to take my niece's word for it.
Steve Cox
Who said I lost my marbles
Believe me that's not true
Always in that treasured space
They all look quite brand new
Each having striking colors
With nifty great designs
Honestly I must confess
They are all truly mine
Each marble tells a story
Of how it came to be
I won one from a big guy
When I was only three
That was quite a moment
I never shall forget
Tigers eye in amber
The best eyes I have yet
You see I have my marbles
Tightly stored away
I'll bring them out to show you
If the Doc says it's okay
I won't have a problem
Because they were never lost
Rolling around with bright ideas
Which occasionally get tossed.
John and I joke that we need to find the "mother ship" in his spinal column that keeps sending out all these aliens (from 1 tumor to 5 tumors...)
Also, after the Dr. visit when they found this recurrence, we had gone into the appointment thinking he was going to have brain surgery and the biggest thing he was worried about was having a catheter again - he was more relieved about not having a catheter than not having brain surgery! Of course it didn't help that after his first surgery, my mother sat on the bed and sat on the catheter line and pulled it out a little ...
Katrina Meyers
~OUCH! hmmmm...Think this might lead to a string of Mother-In-Law ditties from John? ...lol~
One summer day, I went to my best friend's cottage and was sitting at a
table with her and her mother. My friend and her mother were both fretting
over their previously broken baby toes and how "unsightly" they were.
After a few moments of quietly listening, I piped up, "I have a hole in my
skull."
Strange, they didn't talk about their toes anymore. I thought it was a good
way to change the subject.
Plus, I have semi-attractive feet so I couldn't relate anyway! (The only
healthy part on my body right now so I have a right to brag!)
Amy Kubli
Well I can lighten some of your moments too.
We (my wife and me) were at a favorite haunt having dinner and a beer.
After my beer was gone the waiter came to our table and said "would you like
another beer"? My response was "no thanks, I'm walking". My wife and me
laughed uncontrollably. I don't think the waiter understood the humor in
it. It probably isn't funny if you don't have your cerebellum surgically
messed with (or know somebody that has had theirs messed with).
Dan Thompson
About a month before I was diagnosed with this tumor my car stereo was stolen
out of my car, then tumor diagnosis, then long drives to work with no stereo and....nothing to think about except tumors.....
So I made up a song! Think of the coca cabanna song and how that goes to these new lyrics!
His name is timmy,
Timmy the tumor
(down at the coca)
(coca cabanna)
He's a mysterious mass
and he lives up in my ass
he likes to poke-a, poke-a my spine-a
And that's all the further I got with the song....
it always made my hubby and I laugh!
I was just super paranoid that I would be drugged up for surgery and start
singing it to the nurses and dr's!!!!
Chandra Haugh
Dancing  Brain
I am a single woman in my 30's (which is depressing enough without the tumor!) and when I was contemplating surgery, I would often tell my friends and family that I was going to get a plastic surgeon to come in during my surgery and give me the largest breasts humanly possible. That way, if I came out of the surgery with any deficits, I figured no potential date would even notice, since they would just be staring at my breasts all the time!
Debbie
My husband and I were attending a rather fancy Christmas party. I felt rather uncomfortable in my wobbley heels and ugly hair do. The back half was bald with a dark triangle of hair at the base of my neck, Then there was the major comb over thing going on top. A young woman I didn't know complemented my "progressive hair cut". She said it was neat to see and older woman wearing a really "hip" style. On the way home Jeff and I roared with laughter. It was a great evening and fun to giggle about as I recovered from radiation treatments and surgery.
Margarita Sandvig
Before Mel had his first surgery, we were warned of all the things that "might" happen, especially the double vision thing. The first time we got to see him in intensive care, he opened his eyes, looked at the foot of the bed, and said, "Oh my God, I have 2 mothers-in-law!" We all thought it was hilarious; it took a few minutes for my mom to see the humor. lol
Julie
The other day I was teasing Heather and pretending to put a pen in one of her ears and out the other. She said "Hey at least I have a brain and I got the pictures to prove it!"
Carol
I do not know how humorous this is to all of ya'll. But when ever I get all uptight, tired, irrate any of the bad mood things. My husband is always good at pointing out at lightening my mood by saying:
"Take it easy, it could be worse. You could have a Brain Tumor!"
Crystal
Smart Man! That Karma is a strange thing...it will come around and bite your butt when your not even looking!
I seem to have quite a few stories. I will share the one that I still get teased about. Two days after my radiation had ended, I took off for Arizona. I thought it would be warmer there than Chicago and I could visit my sister. When I got there I had forgot a few things! So we ran to Walmart. I staggered off to the bike department and laid eyes on this awsome 3 wheel bike!!! It was later found riding through the lawn and garden department. At the time I could barely walk and I felt so liberated getting around by other means. At the time I saw nothing wrong with what I had done. The next day the bike was hanging from the ceiling! They probablly never saw that before and never wanted to see it again! I will never hear the end of the famous WalMart story!!!
Pat Fitzsimmons
and now we know who to thank for the cute little electric carts that make shopping a pleasure when you can't walk through WalMart!
While in the hospital, I could not swallow, and had a PEG tube inserted to feed me. Finally, came the day that my swallow improved, the tube came out, and I got my first "regular" diet - actual food on a plate!
I enjoyed that meal sooooo much! I still remember - mashed potatoes, sliced carrots, and meatloaf.
I tried to jab a carrot with my fork, but missed; it "jumped" off my tray, hit the floor, and rolled under the bed.
It had been so long since I was allowed to eat, I actually tried to think of how I could get that carrot back. (Mind you, I was confined to a wheelchair at the time)!
The funny part now is that I realize it was just hospital food, not necessarily the best cuisine around!
Bruce
Can almost hear him sitting there singing...
To the TUNE...On Top Of Old Smokey
I sat in my wheel chair, bandage wrapped round my head
I jabbed at the carrot, it rolled under the bed!
Heather's sister, Amy, and I walked into Heather's hospital room while she was eating her breakfast one morning. Heather had a banana and picked it up, put it in her mouth and grabbed the end with her teeth. Amy screamed, "No Heather wait!" Apparently Amy thought Heather was eating the banana, peel and all. I had been with Heather while she ate breakfast before and knew that was the only way she could get the banana peel started.
Carol Beck
The year before we found out Cyndie had a tumor she started acting differently, all depressed and not feeling good but she wouldn't go to the Doctor, kinda paranoid you know. Then we found out what was wrong . After her surgery and while she was in rehab she sat straight up in bed and exclaimed...
"I quit my job? why did you let me quit my job?"
(If you would know Cyndie
you'd find out she does pretty much as she pleases.)
Whenever she can't think of something she'll say "You know I had a brain tumor don't you?"
Doran husband of Cyndie
Well folks YOU WERE RIGHT!
I did just find some TUMOR HUMOR if you want to call it that! As I was penning my last email about Ilene's advise I wrote a line and then I started to laugh and I thought "NO, I can't send that in this email. Someone will take it wrong and think I am not such a nice person to be sharing my personal life on line so to speak! "
When I was telling about my husband being given 18 months to live ... WELLLLLLLLLLL,
This is what I originally wrote ---" WELLLLLLLLLL, I just rolled him in bed!" I started to laugh so hard! Anyhow, I hope no one is offended! If you are, I am so sorry! You see, is there anyone out there who understands how great that would really be ?????????? It has been a very long time since I have been " to bed" with my husband! (Or anyone's huband for that matter! ) NOT MY STYLE!!! And besides, as far as for our house------------hospital beds just don't cut it and I WOULD HAVE TO DO ALL THE WORK! And, if I messed around with someone else's husband I would get shot and then who would fill out all the insurance papers for Denny?
OK OK OK I will stop! Can you believe this is me????????? and it's SUNDAY!
I am going out to feed my birds now so you can rest assured I am done with this conversation!
Help me! I think it was the piece of cake I had for breakfast that did it!
I love you all.
Ellie
Maybe we need to make a recipe book...share some of our favorites...I for one would like Ellie's Cake Recipe.
Medication Reactions
From The Far Side!
Right after my surgery I suffered a full cardiac arrest and they put me in a
coma following it to recover. Well, during that time I would have these
weird "dreams" or hallucinations. When I awoke, I SWEAR I was a drug dealer
in Ohio and that I had a new heart. I kept pointing to my chest and arguing
on paper that I indeed got a heart transplant. Last thing I recall is that
my heart was 240 bpm and I was having trouble breathing so when I came to, I
really had to become reoriented with what really happened to me. I don't
know what drugs make you think you're a drug dealer from Ohio recovering
from a heart transplant, but perhaps a few of those drugs might go a long
day when reality is too difficult!!!!
Amy Kubli
A new reality game...Medicated Vocations...What Would YOU like to be today?
I found that humor is the best therapy. About 5 months after my surgery, I was itching to drive again. Mary (my wife) was concerned that I may not be ready and if I got the OK from my NS, my occupational therapist, and my family doctor she would feel better about it. When I called my family doctors office (they didn't have a clue about my condition), I talked to the office nurse. she saw the humor in my question and said "well, you sound like you have all your marbles". Usually, I'm not that quick on my feet for a witty reply, but this time I did and replied: "Well, they let me use sharp knives and I don't drool at all". The nurse said "There you go!". I was approved to drive - Mary was happy - I was happy.
John
Val named her tumor Georgia, as in "on my mind" and used to say, when we were talking about her illness "it's all in my head" and how she couldn't get her NS out of her head......it went on and on. You can't imagine how much I miss that humor!! She was known for her acerbic sense of humor...the type where you had better not come unarmed. :)
One of my favorite stories, while not a "Val-ism" was while we were explaining her history to the nurse doing her intake for this last resection, and Val, in talking about her vision problems, said she had "Gaze Palsy". The nurse turned white and stammered something about being sorry, and wrote down "GAYS palsy". Val and I about rolled on the floor!!! I know what she must have been thinking, but....!! We joked about that right up to the surgery door....
:)
LaurieAnn
w/o Valerie-fallen warrior
Wellllll Bruce, if humor is not a part of a person , there is no person! OR there is a very, very depressed person. I love humor. Even in the midst of all the turmoil in our house I try to inject humor. I tell Denny and the boys funny stories that happen at school. Sometimes Denny will laugh and it makes me feel good. I am hoping that it makes him feel better. I think we can all find the funny side of life if we just look for it.
I will share my latest bit of humor with my on line friends. I sure hope it puts a smile on your face.
I teach 6, 7, and 8th grade English.
Yesterday, Mr. B, the math teacher came flying into my room with tears rolling down his cheeks. Mr. B is a super teacher and a very wonderful person and also a great friend.
A 6th grade girl had on a NASCAR shirt and on the back of the shirt was the name GORDON. She was sitting so that all he could see was ORDON. So, being the kind of guy that he is, Mr. B kept saying ORDON. Finally, a little girl (she is about 4'9" tall and weighs 59 pounds) says, "Mr. B, it is Gordon, not Ordon." And of course Mr. B being the character that he is made a grand production out of this comment! Finally the little girls says, "Oh Mr. B you are so silly. You don't know anything about NASCAR or racing!" To this Mr. B responded, "Oh yes I do! I can even name a famous racer." She of course thought that he couldn't and he said, "Mario Andretti!" She had no idea who this guy was and so she thought Mr. B made up the name. Mr. B teased her about not knowing some one as famous as Andretti and she retorted with, "Well, I know an even "famouser" race car driver. And she yelled, "Winston Churchill!" If this was not enough, she added, "He is my dad's "favoriest" driver, too!"
I hope this puts a smile on your face. We are still laughing about it!
Keep laughing.
ellie
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