Captions
 

Change #1: a period after family, and then begin a new sentence with the dependent adverbial clause:
Second only to his happiness at home,...  This is used because the writers first choice sentence was an unclear run on sentence.

Change #2:  A comma only before ,yet, and not one after because a comma goes before a coordinating conjunction when hoing two complete sentences.

Change #3:  Putting a colon after such as:,  then combined the two historical events into one sentence, and finally just fixed a spelling error: Portalnd.  Using a colon will illustrate the renaming of the events and combining the sentence after the colon emphasizes these important events, as well.

Change #4:  The last sentence in the Inspirational portion was changed because of its length and mistakes in its use of punctuation.  For example, the use of commas.  As a result, I created two whole sentences from her incorrect combination of independent and dependent clauses.  In addition, I opened another sentence up with a prepositional introductory subordinate clause to put more emphasis on this information and to avoid a run on sentence.

Change #5:  Qualifications is replaced with qualities because qualifications for what?  I do not think that this is the correct word usage. The word qualities would be a more appropriate word because the next sentence begins to describe his personal characteristics or qualities, however not really his qualifications.

Change #6:  Deleted the and before and prompt,...because the word and is not necessary and is repetitive considering the next description is the very last and also is introduced with and:  and every task...

Change #7:  A comma is placed after the introductory prepositional subordinate clause:  At the same time,
 

Change #8: Replacing a colon for a comma in on its own life:  charged with meaning... Using a colon will rename  own life in a more dramatic fashion because that is the sole purpose of the colon-to rename.

Change #9:  Change 'choosey' to  "choosey" because that is the proper punctuation for quoting someone's work in a paper.  I believe that this was just a careless typing error.

Change #10:  Putting a comma before the subordinating conjunction ,yet to introduce the following dependent clause.