(Ashley is laying in her bed, asleep, listening to her Backstreet's Back CD. In Illinois, Kelly and Abbey sleep peacefully as well, as does Shelby in Iowa, Kat in New York, and Julie in Canada.)
Weird Hitchcock Guy: "The Eyes of Stone Crew...sound asleep in their beds, dreaming of their beloved whipped cream-clad Backstreet Boys. Little do they know that they are about to enter a world that, at first, is paradise, but is not at all what it seems. This is..."
(Cue cheesy theme song)
WHG: "The Twilight Zone...Eyes of Stone style."
(Daylight. Ashley is sprawled out in her bed, unable to be seen in her billion blankets. The alarm clock goes off, and she gets up to turn it off. She walks over to her dresser, and turns the alarm off. She crawls back into bed, muttering curses, only to roll straight into a body.)
Ashley: "What the fuck is in my-"
(Ashley opens her eyes only to find Da Kinky One, Alexander James McLean. She rolls straight off the bed and falls on the floor, staring in shock at a sleeping AJ.)
Ashley: "Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit."
(A yodel coming from Ashley's forever-on computer rings through the air. She manages to scramble up and runs into the computer room, only to find a frantic Instant Message from Abbey.)
Abbey: "KEVIN IS IN MY BEDROOM!!!!!!!"
(At the same time, messages from Kelly and Shelby appear. Two e-mails appear in Ashley's mailbox, from Julie and Kat.)
Abbey: "WAHT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!?!"
Kat: "NICK IS IN MY BED DROOLING!!!!!"
Julie: "HOW IS J IN MY BED?!?!"
Ashley: "I DON'T KNOW!!!!! THIS IS FREAK-AY, DUDES!!!!!"
(Suddenly, a pair of lips are on Ashley's neck, and she realizes it's AJ. She starts to type.)
Ashley: "Oh. My. Holy. Shit. AJ. Is. Kissing. My. Neck."
(The other girls proceed to go crazy as Ashley is...uh...caught up in the moment.)
Julie: "What?!?! But he's here with me!!!! How can he be there with you?!?!"
Abbey: "Shelby, is Kevin there with you?"
Shelby: "Yeah. I'm guessing he's with you, too."
Abbey: "Yeah, he is."
Kat: "This is weird, but...heh.. Nick is waking up."
Kelly: "Ash, are you still there?"
(A few minutes pass before Ashley replies.)
Ashley: "jdsgfdhylnmsd$%WE%EFse28as8rertkjssdf."
Julie: "I think Ash is a little busy."
Kelly: "We need to get together and figure this out. Come over to my house."
Julie: "How?"
Kat: "HOLY SHIT THERE'S A PLANE IN MY YARD WITH THE EOS EMBLEM!!!!"
Shelby: "There's one in my yard, too!"
Kelly: "Then hop on the planes! Come on!"
(The plan has been made. Each girl jump on their own EOS plane, with their Boy, and make it to Kelly's and Abbey's home state. Let's just Ashley, Julie, Shelby, and Kat joined the Mile High Club. They meet in Illinois, and they are shocked to see the two AJ's, one with Ashley and one with Julie. On the way there, they don't see a single person which is odd. They reach Kelly's crib, and Abbey answers the door with Kevin next to her. Mouths drop open)
Kat: "Holy shit there's two Kevins and two AJs!"
Abbey: "Come in."
(The girls walk in and see Brian laying in Kelly's lap, having strawberries fed to him.)
Kelly: "Hi, guys. Life is good, isn't it?"
Shelby: "Apparently. What's going on?"
Abbey: "Who cares?! We've got the Backstreet Boys! And better yet, no Troll!"
Ashley: "Hey. It's not his fault. I haven't had the time necessary to make him a man. He will have an appointment when my schedule permits."
(Kat is no longer paying attention. She points to the kitchen doorway.)
Kat: "Um...Kelly? When did Alfred Hitchcock move in?"
(The girls turn to the doorway. Major close-up on the Weird Hitchcock Guy as The Twilight Zone theme plays.)
Ashley: "Where's the damn music coming from?"
Julie: "Stranger things have happened. Like AJ wearing a condom.
(The music continues to play as the girls look back at the Weird Hitchcock Guy.)
Kelly: "Dude, what is your deal? Stop the music and get out."
Ashley: "We've got banging to get to.">
WHG: "The Eyes of Stone Crew...so sex-oriented, they can't see straight. They will soon see that the world they have woken up to is not the world they went to bed to. They will see-"
Ashley: "Bitch! Stop hating cuz we be mackin'! Get the fuck out, yo!"
(Ashley walks over to the Hitchcock guy, grabs his collar, and proceeds to kick him out of Kelly's crib.)
Kelly: "Go Ashley! Yeah! Let's get to bangin'!"
(Ashley peers out the door.)
Ashley: "I don't know about that. Guys, look."
(The other girls look out the front window, and see a group of AJs walking down the street.)
Kelly: "Oh my God."
(There are now a lot of people walking down the street, and they all look like AJ, Nick, Kevin, and Brian.)
Abbey: "The entire world looks like the Backstreet Boys."
Shelby: "You know what this means, right?"
Kat: "Aww yeah...bust out the chains."
(Years later, the Eyes of Stone Crew are sitting on their thrones, dressed in leather and their hair all pimpin'. They are now the rulers of the Backstreet-filled universe. Surrounding them are a bunch of cages with the clones, and millions of the clones are lined up in rows. Half of the AJs are in Ashley's line, the other half in Julie's line. The same goes for Shelby and Abbey, only with Kevin. Kat has all the Nicks, and Kelly has all the Brians. Above their thrones are those number count-off clocks. The number switches to 10, 628.)
All: "Next!"
(Suddenly, the Weird Hitchcock Guy comes into view, followed by the cheesy theme music.)
WHG: "In the end, it is not the almighty dollar that people will sell their souls for, but sex. But shit, I can't blame them. If I looked as good as them, I'd sell my soul so I could bang the Backstreet Boys, too. So tune in tomorrow for the next episode of...The Twilight Zone..."
The End
*This siutation would be heaven, in my opinion, but it will never happen...hence, it becomes an episode of the Twilight Zone. How many of you have said Hell Yeah while reading this? Yeah, that's what I thought*